So I was recently digging through some papers I had in one of my drawers and came across some old 24 stuff back from like '06. I was a HUGE member of the 24um and I had found a thread that mashabiki started called "Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road? Responses characters in the onyesha would have." I have NO idea why i printed it off the computer but I am so happy i did because obviously, it no longer exists.
I decided to share it here with wewe guys because I didn't want it to be Lost forever :) Lemme know if any of wewe happened to be one of the people who came up with these answers, au if wewe were a 24umer and remember it!
Why did the Chicken kuvuka, msalaba the Road?
Teri: What do wewe MEAN the chicken crossed the road??
Nina: Relax Teri, just because the chicken crossed the road doesn't mean we can't get him back.
Jamey: I needed the money, the chicken promised me $300,000 if i helped him kuvuka, msalaba the road.
Heller: But if the chicken crossed the road, that means he would be on the OTHER SIDE!
Audrey: Please, Jack, don't hurt the chicken.
Kim: I'm sorry, Dad, I can't give wewe the chicken right now.
Chloe: The chicken probably used a Minkowski Algorithm to calculate the easiest trajectory to kuvuka, msalaba the road.
Jack: Dammit Chloe! Just tell me where the chicken is NOW!
Bill: That chicken has proven it deserves its autonomy!
Submitted kwa user GreenPatriot
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Chloe: Why the hell do we care about a stupid chicken anyway? Can't wewe just let me do my job?
Edgar: Chloe, my mother lives on the other side of that road. I can't let the chicken get there.
Logan: Martha, if i don't let that chicken get to the other side these people are going to start killing off the other farm animals!
Martha: Charles, wewe just don't care what happens to the people on the other side do you? wewe and your stupid farm animals!
Submitted kwa user Palmerfan12
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
The chickens are all running away from the 24 writers....they want to live.
Sumbitted kwa user desslergirl
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Chloe: Fine! I was gonna kuvuka, msalaba the road anyway!
Submitted kwa user jebm24
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Marie Warner: I told it "You think you'll will be salama on the other side of that road? wewe won't be"
Andre Drazen: Because the sun went down and the sudden darkness disoriented the chicken
David Palmer: I told that chicken to stay on the other side of the road. Damn it chicken, why are wewe defying me?!
Logan: I have no idea. Mike, why do wewe think he crossed the road?
Aaron Pierce: Why is the chicken on the other side of the road, how did he get there and why was i not informed?
Submitted kwa user ctuSanDiego
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Sherry: David today is either about chickens crossing the road, au winning the primary. It can't be about both.
Submitted kwa user IDreamOfJack
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Kim: Oh my gawd Dad...why do the chickens around wewe always die?!
Submitted kwa user Canada Ctu
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Kim: The chicken crossed the road bec-*Kim gets kidnapped*
Submitted kwa user rundll32
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Shari Rothernburg: I need to get to the other side before the rooster inappropriately touches me.
Submitted kwa user Gatsby
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Meanwhile in the situation room....
Buchanan: Hello, Mr. President. You're on with me, Lynn McGill, Chloe, Edgar, and Audrey Raines. Also Jack Bauer in the room.
Logan: So what have we got guys?
Buchanan: Right now we're tracking a chicken that happens to be our only lead. We just observed the chicken has crossed the road over the live satellite feed.
Logan: Do we know why the chicken crossed the road?
Buchanan: No, not yet. But our best intelligence so far indicates that the chicken's crossing of the road does indeed have something to do with today's events.
Logan: I need wewe to find out why that chicken crossed the road.
Buchanan: We are investigating that right now.
Jack: Give me the chicken suit.
McGill: Chicken suit? Absolutely not! Division protocol strictly forbids us from using the chicken suit during a time of crisis!
Jack: DAMMIT! Let me use the chicken suit!
Buchanan: What do wewe need the chicken suit for Jack?
Jack: I can go undercover. If I put on the chicken suit, I might be able to establish a cover with the chickens down at the chicken coup on the other side of the road.
Buchanan: Alright Jack do it. Edgar I want wewe to maintain constant satellite surveillance on this operation and pull up the schematic for the chicken coop. I want us in constant contact for when Jack "goes chicken."
Submitted kwa user Strawman2K
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Jack: Because it was in flank 2 positions on the other side.
Richard Heller: I don't have too answer that! wewe have no right to ask me that! This is illegal!
Mike Novick: With all due respect, this is a personal matter.
Stephen Saunders: Even if i told you, wewe wouldn't understand.
McGill: What?! You're wasting my time, so i would appreciate it if wewe would stop asking me stupid maswali and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE! THANK YOU!!!
Shari Rothenburg: wewe were staring at my boobs while wewe were asking me that question, weren't you?
Submitted kwa user iamnickname
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Nina: Get with the real world Jack-the chicken was paid.
Chloe: Maybe to get to the other side, duh! Now let me scan these connections, I have work to do.
sherry Palmer: I know how wewe feel chickey, talk to me. We have common interests here.
Jack: I'm gonna need a fryer.
Submitted kwa user Vesin
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Edgar: Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Chloe: Shut up, Edgar!
Submitted kwa user Almeidafan22
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Jack: WHERE ARE THE S-EGG-TOX CANISTERS?!
Chicken: Cluck?
Jack: wewe DO NOT WANT TO kuvuka, msalaba THAT ROAD WITH ME!
Jack: *pulls out PDA* Chloe, it's Jack. pakia the schematic of the henhouse, I need to get in!
Submitted kwa user corsilab
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Jack: Why did wewe break it off?!
Audrey: Because the chicken wasn't YOU, Jack
Submitted kwa user GinaT1000
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Jack: Mr. President I believe the chicken is trying to kuvuka, msalaba the road to pass the deadly bird flu virus.
President: Jack, can wewe stop him?
Jack: Yes, Mr. President but i think thats all the information wewe need to know. Chloe, I need wewe to check cell phone records of the chicken and find out who is giving him information...
Chloe: Jack, I'm already on it but wewe aren't going to like what I found...
Jack: Chloe, what is it?!
Chloe: Jack, Audrey has been sleeping with the chicken. The chicken caught the virus from Audrey. I talked to a farmer in Iowa and he remembers them being together.
Jack (interrogating Audrey): DAMN IT AUDREY! Why have wewe been sleeping with the chicken? Why didn't wewe tell me?
Audrey: I wanted to tell you. It started with a little peck on the cheek and one thing led to another. But i broke it off.
Jack: Why did wewe break it off?!
Audrey: Because all i could think of was you....
Submitted kwa user zulran
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Down at the hotel, sherry Palmer has just destroyed the chicken....
Palmer: Why did wewe do it Sherry? It hurts me so much to know i was right.
Sherry: What are wewe talking about David?! It is just a damn chicken get over it! And what do wewe mean wewe were right?
Palmer:*Pulls chicken out of his shati pocket and gives it CPR as it inflates to its original size*
Sherry: How could wewe David?!
Palmer: Now I'm going down to that press conference and telling them why the chicken really did kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Sherry: Please David! NO! Please! Think of what wewe are doing to your family! Not the chicken David, anything but the chicken!
Bierko: Let us kill the chicken and we will leave all wewe hens alone
Logan: What am i going to do Mike?
Mike: I have some bad news
Logan: What is it Mike?
Mike: The first hen got into the motorcade with the chicken
Logan: What?!
Mike: I'm sooooo sorry sir
Logan: Pray with me, Mike. Pray with me to the all knowing chicken
Mike: Ummmm sir, I'm not a religious man
Logan: Please Mike...
(A few dakika later)
Mike: CTU is on the phone for you
Logan: Hello?
Bill: We just found out that there might be a hit on the chickens motorcade we are alerting secret chickens saving society right now
Logan: Oh, good (hangs up) Dammit now Bierko is going to think I told Bill and he is going to kuvuka, msalaba the road and kill all our hens!
Submitted kwa user lizt24
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Henderson: wewe have my word, sir. I'll make sure that the chicken crosses the road before Jack Bauer and Wayne Palmer can get to it. I will not let wewe down, sir.
*Shocking reveal of who Henderson's talking to*
Logan: See that wewe don't.
Submitted kwa user Viking 2002
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Buchanan: Chloe, we don't have time for your chicken disorder!
Submitted kwa user damojo
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Miles: Chloe, why did the chicken cross?
Chloe: Are wewe serious?! If wewe want details, I'll file a report!
Submitted kwa user iwfergie24
I hope wewe enjoyed kusoma this :)
I decided to share it here with wewe guys because I didn't want it to be Lost forever :) Lemme know if any of wewe happened to be one of the people who came up with these answers, au if wewe were a 24umer and remember it!
Why did the Chicken kuvuka, msalaba the Road?
Teri: What do wewe MEAN the chicken crossed the road??
Nina: Relax Teri, just because the chicken crossed the road doesn't mean we can't get him back.
Jamey: I needed the money, the chicken promised me $300,000 if i helped him kuvuka, msalaba the road.
Heller: But if the chicken crossed the road, that means he would be on the OTHER SIDE!
Audrey: Please, Jack, don't hurt the chicken.
Kim: I'm sorry, Dad, I can't give wewe the chicken right now.
Chloe: The chicken probably used a Minkowski Algorithm to calculate the easiest trajectory to kuvuka, msalaba the road.
Jack: Dammit Chloe! Just tell me where the chicken is NOW!
Bill: That chicken has proven it deserves its autonomy!
Submitted kwa user GreenPatriot
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Chloe: Why the hell do we care about a stupid chicken anyway? Can't wewe just let me do my job?
Edgar: Chloe, my mother lives on the other side of that road. I can't let the chicken get there.
Logan: Martha, if i don't let that chicken get to the other side these people are going to start killing off the other farm animals!
Martha: Charles, wewe just don't care what happens to the people on the other side do you? wewe and your stupid farm animals!
Submitted kwa user Palmerfan12
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
The chickens are all running away from the 24 writers....they want to live.
Sumbitted kwa user desslergirl
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Chloe: Fine! I was gonna kuvuka, msalaba the road anyway!
Submitted kwa user jebm24
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Marie Warner: I told it "You think you'll will be salama on the other side of that road? wewe won't be"
Andre Drazen: Because the sun went down and the sudden darkness disoriented the chicken
David Palmer: I told that chicken to stay on the other side of the road. Damn it chicken, why are wewe defying me?!
Logan: I have no idea. Mike, why do wewe think he crossed the road?
Aaron Pierce: Why is the chicken on the other side of the road, how did he get there and why was i not informed?
Submitted kwa user ctuSanDiego
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Sherry: David today is either about chickens crossing the road, au winning the primary. It can't be about both.
Submitted kwa user IDreamOfJack
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Kim: Oh my gawd Dad...why do the chickens around wewe always die?!
Submitted kwa user Canada Ctu
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Kim: The chicken crossed the road bec-*Kim gets kidnapped*
Submitted kwa user rundll32
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Shari Rothernburg: I need to get to the other side before the rooster inappropriately touches me.
Submitted kwa user Gatsby
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Meanwhile in the situation room....
Buchanan: Hello, Mr. President. You're on with me, Lynn McGill, Chloe, Edgar, and Audrey Raines. Also Jack Bauer in the room.
Logan: So what have we got guys?
Buchanan: Right now we're tracking a chicken that happens to be our only lead. We just observed the chicken has crossed the road over the live satellite feed.
Logan: Do we know why the chicken crossed the road?
Buchanan: No, not yet. But our best intelligence so far indicates that the chicken's crossing of the road does indeed have something to do with today's events.
Logan: I need wewe to find out why that chicken crossed the road.
Buchanan: We are investigating that right now.
Jack: Give me the chicken suit.
McGill: Chicken suit? Absolutely not! Division protocol strictly forbids us from using the chicken suit during a time of crisis!
Jack: DAMMIT! Let me use the chicken suit!
Buchanan: What do wewe need the chicken suit for Jack?
Jack: I can go undercover. If I put on the chicken suit, I might be able to establish a cover with the chickens down at the chicken coup on the other side of the road.
Buchanan: Alright Jack do it. Edgar I want wewe to maintain constant satellite surveillance on this operation and pull up the schematic for the chicken coop. I want us in constant contact for when Jack "goes chicken."
Submitted kwa user Strawman2K
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Jack: Because it was in flank 2 positions on the other side.
Richard Heller: I don't have too answer that! wewe have no right to ask me that! This is illegal!
Mike Novick: With all due respect, this is a personal matter.
Stephen Saunders: Even if i told you, wewe wouldn't understand.
McGill: What?! You're wasting my time, so i would appreciate it if wewe would stop asking me stupid maswali and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE! THANK YOU!!!
Shari Rothenburg: wewe were staring at my boobs while wewe were asking me that question, weren't you?
Submitted kwa user iamnickname
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Nina: Get with the real world Jack-the chicken was paid.
Chloe: Maybe to get to the other side, duh! Now let me scan these connections, I have work to do.
sherry Palmer: I know how wewe feel chickey, talk to me. We have common interests here.
Jack: I'm gonna need a fryer.
Submitted kwa user Vesin
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Edgar: Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Chloe: Shut up, Edgar!
Submitted kwa user Almeidafan22
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Jack: WHERE ARE THE S-EGG-TOX CANISTERS?!
Chicken: Cluck?
Jack: wewe DO NOT WANT TO kuvuka, msalaba THAT ROAD WITH ME!
Jack: *pulls out PDA* Chloe, it's Jack. pakia the schematic of the henhouse, I need to get in!
Submitted kwa user corsilab
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Jack: Why did wewe break it off?!
Audrey: Because the chicken wasn't YOU, Jack
Submitted kwa user GinaT1000
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Jack: Mr. President I believe the chicken is trying to kuvuka, msalaba the road to pass the deadly bird flu virus.
President: Jack, can wewe stop him?
Jack: Yes, Mr. President but i think thats all the information wewe need to know. Chloe, I need wewe to check cell phone records of the chicken and find out who is giving him information...
Chloe: Jack, I'm already on it but wewe aren't going to like what I found...
Jack: Chloe, what is it?!
Chloe: Jack, Audrey has been sleeping with the chicken. The chicken caught the virus from Audrey. I talked to a farmer in Iowa and he remembers them being together.
Jack (interrogating Audrey): DAMN IT AUDREY! Why have wewe been sleeping with the chicken? Why didn't wewe tell me?
Audrey: I wanted to tell you. It started with a little peck on the cheek and one thing led to another. But i broke it off.
Jack: Why did wewe break it off?!
Audrey: Because all i could think of was you....
Submitted kwa user zulran
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Down at the hotel, sherry Palmer has just destroyed the chicken....
Palmer: Why did wewe do it Sherry? It hurts me so much to know i was right.
Sherry: What are wewe talking about David?! It is just a damn chicken get over it! And what do wewe mean wewe were right?
Palmer:*Pulls chicken out of his shati pocket and gives it CPR as it inflates to its original size*
Sherry: How could wewe David?!
Palmer: Now I'm going down to that press conference and telling them why the chicken really did kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Sherry: Please David! NO! Please! Think of what wewe are doing to your family! Not the chicken David, anything but the chicken!
Bierko: Let us kill the chicken and we will leave all wewe hens alone
Logan: What am i going to do Mike?
Mike: I have some bad news
Logan: What is it Mike?
Mike: The first hen got into the motorcade with the chicken
Logan: What?!
Mike: I'm sooooo sorry sir
Logan: Pray with me, Mike. Pray with me to the all knowing chicken
Mike: Ummmm sir, I'm not a religious man
Logan: Please Mike...
(A few dakika later)
Mike: CTU is on the phone for you
Logan: Hello?
Bill: We just found out that there might be a hit on the chickens motorcade we are alerting secret chickens saving society right now
Logan: Oh, good (hangs up) Dammit now Bierko is going to think I told Bill and he is going to kuvuka, msalaba the road and kill all our hens!
Submitted kwa user lizt24
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Henderson: wewe have my word, sir. I'll make sure that the chicken crosses the road before Jack Bauer and Wayne Palmer can get to it. I will not let wewe down, sir.
*Shocking reveal of who Henderson's talking to*
Logan: See that wewe don't.
Submitted kwa user Viking 2002
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Buchanan: Chloe, we don't have time for your chicken disorder!
Submitted kwa user damojo
Why did the chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Miles: Chloe, why did the chicken cross?
Chloe: Are wewe serious?! If wewe want details, I'll file a report!
Submitted kwa user iwfergie24
I hope wewe enjoyed kusoma this :)