Advice

jibu swali hili

Advice Swali

Best friend's boyfriend doesnt like me? (long swali sorry)

Right so my best friend Nicole is my whole world, we have been best Marafiki for 4 years now and i upendo her to bits, she is gorgeous, energetic sporty and funny, we are extremely close because we are identical in personality and we do most things together.
But the problem is that people... including our Marafiki parents AND teachers.... have ametoa maoni on our closeness, saying that we are too close and too attached one teacher even alisema its "unhealthy to be together all the time" which we responded kwa laughing hugging and saying "we are nearly one" but its started to annoy me, we do act a little silly at times, we hug a lot, sit on each others laps and act kind of lesbiany (but i have absolutely no sexual feelings towards her) people constantly ask us if we are a couple and we always laugh it off, she really couldnt give a tiny rats ass...
But now it started to worry me, Nicole met a guy, Richard, he is nice and she likes him a lot...
but he doesnt like me!! its because he thinks i'm too close with Nicole and he even asked me if i was lesbian with her... which i replied clearly "no"... He always blanks me and he never wants to hang out when im with her and he has pulled her away from me to talk "in private" i realise he wants to hang out with her and not "us" but it irritates me that he doesnt like me cause im so close with her and she's starting to disconnect with me because of him... what do i do? Are we too close? How do i get him to like me?
 e2mma2weasle3 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
next question »

Advice Majibu

BabyBlud said:
wewe don't get him to like you. It's as simple as that. wewe can't force him to like someone.
I know Nicole is your very best friend and it's fantastic wewe have a friend that is so close and similar to you, but as a friend wewe need to give her some space on her own to do her own things without you. wewe won't be around for her forever, and neither will she for you. Both of wewe will grow up, get jobs, start families of your own.
I think the reason your teachers and parents are concerned with your closeness to your friend isn't because you're too "close" but because you're being too dependent on each other. They want what's best for you, and i agree. Nicole will always be your friend, your very best friend, but it is always nice to have a small group of friends. Try introducing yourself to another girl in your age group and making Marafiki with her and advise nicole to do the same. Give each other some breathing space and broaden your horizons, as at the dakika the only future wewe see if wewe and nicole together forever, and unfortunately, with experience with life as i have it, that is very rarely going to come true. What's your back up plan for when she moves mbele (for example getting a boyfriend like Richard?) What are wewe going to do?
Tag along behind them all the time like a Lost puppy? au are wewe going to let them get on with it and do the same for yourself?
 select as best answer
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
*
I do realise we are too dependent on each other, even now that we are apart (I'm on holidays) i seem to need to talk to her every siku (which must be annoying to her as much as it is form me) but she seems to be too busy to reply all the time .... i kind of got an epiphany and realised that we both have our lives and it doesnt have to be all about each other, although i care about her like my own sister she has her own thing and so do i and i appreciate the time wewe took to answer!, i have a boyfriend too and i guess that i should be spending most of that energy and time i waste on her on him more! thanks a million
e2mma2weasle3 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
next question »
Cookies help us bring you Fanpop. By using Fanpop, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More Got It!