I don't know. I've been very close with her for years... since 7th grade, actually, so that's over three years now. But... I just don't know anymore.

She tells me that I'm stupid all the time. She'll be like, "Oh my gosh! I got a 48% on my Chemistry test! I'm so proud! It's not great, but it's better than wewe would do". (Yes, those were her exact words). She also laughs obnoxiously whenever someone else says that I am smart.

Just the other day, I found out that my aunt has breast cancer. She'd had it for a mwezi before I'd found out (my mother thought that it was "not necessary" for me to know that my aunt is dying). I found out because there had been a scare because she'd been hospitalized for bleeding non-stop, and she's not doing well. The first person I ran to was her, and I was really upset at this point. Her response? "Eh. It could be worse. What stores do wewe want to duka at on Friday at the mall?" Well, I've learned my lesson. She's never cared about my problems, yet she always expects me to listen to hers (and her WORST problems are things like, "Oh my gosh, my brother won't get off the X-box and it's MY turn!" Even then, I've been supportive of her. She's NEVER been supportive of me.)

She also brings me down all the time. Like, I'll be really excited for something, and she'll say whatever she can to make me less happy. Example: my brother had gotten an agent for uigizaji (he's professional). I was so happy for him, and I told her, and she was like, "HE got an agent? Wow. He should seriously just stick to community theatre. He's never gonna get anything anyway. He's not that good."

Two days ago, we started sailing lessons together ($20 sailing camp for three weeks). She sees another girl on the beach, pwani around our age. We all start talking, and this girl is very nice. However, Emma (that's the name of my friend who I'm kinda pissed off at) hogs the girl up, ignoring me. I'll try to Converse with them, and the other girl is willing, but Emma will be like, "Oh, there's a mashua available! Let's go sailing!" (There's only two people allowed per boat, and Emma ALWAYS goes with the girl). Later, I saw them a few feet behind me, obviously aware of me. I smiled at them, and Emma turns and walks away. (And then later after the sailing class, in which I spent alone except for my brother because I don't know anybody else there and I'm super shy, she comes and tries being my friend again. Seriously?)

She also never wants to do anything anymore. We'll be at her house au my house au something, and I'll be like, "It's a gorgeous day. We should go somewhere!" She'll think of any excuse to do nothing but sit in the house watching old sinema and listening to muziki I don't even like. She's not fun to be with anymore because she spends her life sitting and doing nothing, but talking about how she is so awesome because she is so adventurous and such a daredevil (I just smile and nod. I try not to burst her bubble).

I just don't know. She's changed so much, and I'm not sure that she's a real friend anymore. Heck, I don't even think she knows what a real friend is! She doesn't just do this stuff to me. She does it to EVERYONE. I'm getting kind of tired of it. But the thing is, I don't think she even realizes. (She isn't exactly the... erm... brightest girl I know... and I don't mean that in a mean way. It's just true. She thinks she's absolutely brilliant, but everyone else can see that's not the case... but we don't want to hurt her feelings... even though she has no problem being a jerk to us all the time...) I just don't want to deal with it anymore. But I'll feel really bad because she doesn't even realize what she's doing. So I'm not sure. What do wewe think?