Advice Need a little advice...

pollyloveshouse posted on Jul 24, 2008 at 10:32AM
Hi guys. I felt I would ask you guys what you thought of my scenario because all my friends are truly awful listeners!! My basic situation is this:

I live in London, England, but for a few years I lived in America. My best friend there was called Josh, and by the time I left America I knew I thought of him as more of a friend, but had never told him how I felt. About a year later Josh and his family moved to Australia, about as far away as he could get!! Since then I have visited him three times. The first time I only had about a week, and it being about 3 years since I last saw him I never made up my mind on whether I would tell him or not. The second time was a year later, where throughout the 2 weeks I was trying to work up the courage to tell him how I felt, still not knowing how he feels about me.

I have regretted not telling him then ever since, it was the best opportunity of the lot, but I could never build up enough courage, I am quite shy.

Then this year I went down to Sydney (where he lives) again, and went with his, his mom and his brother to a little island. I thought how perfect this was! Out of contact with our friends (no internet/ no credit on both our phones) so we will only have each others' company. (and his younger brothers)

However, during the 9 days on Dunk he was telling me all about his quest to win the heart of a girl named Ellie, and how he had finally asked her out just before coming to Dunk (he's pretty shy as well), and of course she said yes. The way he was talking about her made me think that he really cares about her. This put me off telling him how i felt a little, because if he was happy I didn't want to ruin it.

Anyway, now I am still in Australia, staying at my aunt's and uncle's for a while, however, I will be going back to Sydney for 2 days in about a week, the question is, do I tell him and live to regret it if it's not what he wants to hear, or say nothing and regret that for the next few years because I will be left wondering what could have been, again.

I guess there is an option 3, which is I tell him sometime on msn, (which I am talking to him on at this very second) however that couldlead to all sort of complications... so much awkwardness!!

Thanks you guys for reading this, sorry it was very long and boring, I just wanted to see your takes on it.

Thanks, have a nice day :)

Advice 11 majibu

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zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita amberRocks said…
Girl fight for your man!Tell him.Life is too short!And please not on msn!In person!
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita Snerkie said…
Tell him how you feel, say he doesn't have to be obliged (right word? lol) to return your feelings though because you don't want to kill him with pressure and say you enjoy your friendship with him :) And goodluck with it all ^_^
last edited zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita pollyloveshouse said…
Thanks :) Sounds good xD and i really do enjoy my friendship with him, i really hope we can still be friends if he doesn't feel the same!!

My friends are so terribly bad at giving advice!! For example, i told my best friend Marissa my problem and all throughout she was just going: yes, uhuu,hmmm and when I finished she just tells me she's in Tescos (a shop) Useless!!
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita germany123 said…
wow..thats been a long time youve liked him :)
i would instinctively say: tell him how you feel but
(always a but )

a) think about what you want...he is very far away and long distance england australia is VERY long distance- so even if he likes you back( and was too shy to admit it) would be hard to keep a relationship going.
b) decide if you can still be friends with him if you tell him and he says he doesnt feel the same way aboot you. like you said things could get akward...and maybe it would hurt you to be around him knowing there is no chance to be with him. make sure you have a fairly certain idea of how you want to continue the friendship (i.e. not listening to him blab on aboot ellie, other girls he likes etc)

i dont want to be unromantic or anything but i think you should give the "gain/lose" relativity a thought...if you tell him what will you gain and what might you lose- and if you dont..

then again if it were me i probably couldnt keep it to myself :D

let us know how it all turn oot :)
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita looopey3 said…
just tell him. if you like him that mutch then tell sure he likes you to
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita pollyloveshouse said…
Hey guys, thanks for all your advice!! Well I thought I would keep you guys up to date:

I came nack to sydney for 2 days, spent the majority of them just hanging with him, talking about whatever, etc.. The whole time i was with him I was thinkg about how/when/where i would tell him, had a few perfect plans drawn out but they didnt go as they should have, and of course I just watched him get on the bus and ride away, and i still haven't told him :(

The next time i will see him will most probably be 2010, which could well be too late...
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita germany123 said…
awww thanks for the update though

who knows..if its meant to be!?
ha! now i say: check oot the hotties in your neighbourhood!! :P
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita Saul_Mikoliunas said…
Or go to Spain and check out the hotties there =)
Speaking from experience, long distance relationships are hard. Sitting in the sunshine in Spain, staring at lovely tall dark and handsome men.....well that's easy. I did that for the last week =D

P.s. If you want real advice you should listen to Gerley but hey, my advice is good too =D
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita germany123 said…
will we be seeing pictures sualey??

*takes oot popcorn*
id love a slide show of tall dark handsome spanish shirtless guys..and dont tell me you werent secretly taking pictures!
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita miloticgal said…
I feel for you! It must feel so bad! Try and tell him but if you really can't then wait and see what happens. (sorry I wasn't very helpful)
I so wanted to go to live in Australia and so do my family but now my friendship with my friends has got so close and I really don't want to leave them! We haven't sold our house yet though.
zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita befferz said…
its better to say something and be embarrassed, or spend your whole life never knowing