That's right... this is a follow-up to my first Hetalia rant. Now, I've already aliyopewa some arguments on why Hetalia is nothing zaidi than fangirl bullcrap. I've stated that I usually watch five to six episodes of a TV/anime series before judging it. However, it turns out that I DIDN'T watch five to six episodes of Hetalia. Let me explain.
The usual time that an ordinary anime episode lasts is twenty to twenty-five minutes. However, Hetalia's "episodes" (I use that term EXTREMELY loosely, and I'll get into the issue of episodes in a moment) only last five minutes.
This means... GIVE ME A ****ING BREAK! wewe have to watch TWENTY of those stupid uhuishaji clips in order to have qualified that wewe watched five episodes (at least on a technical level)!
So yeah... since I technically didn't watch five episodes, what else to do than to take another bite of the shit sandwich, sandwichi known as Hetalia? Besides, after hearing what the mashabiki have alisema to me, I decided that, out of the kindness of my heart... I should give it a sekunde chance. So, after arming myself with a water bottle and my PS3 controller, I sat down and endured 15 zaidi Hetalia clips (I was able to survive up to "episode" 20). Honestly... I regret doing so.
I don't know why I didn't realize this, but now I know that there's no point in digging into a pile of shit twice. All you'll get is zaidi shit.
Anyways, taking a trip right back to hell has put me in a ranting mood again, and I've also found a couple zaidi reasons why Hetalia sucks the big one. I'll also elaborate on a couple things I mentioned in my last rant. In my first rant on Hetalia, I mentioned a bunch of anime and a couple other similar things that I'd rather watch over Hetalia. Let me elaborate on a couple of the things I listed.
Naruto might have been a pile of fecal matter hampered kwa annoying characters and overloads of flashbacks, but at least it had a plot to drive it forward. Not only that, but the uigizaji was at least decent. Transformers Energon might have ran around in circles for weeks with its plot, but at least the action was awesome, the uigizaji was sound, and the uhuishaji was impressive. Boku No Pico and Shounen Maid Kuro-Kun may have caused me to dispense last night's chajio, chakula cha jioni in a disgusting and unspeakable manner, but if there's one thing I'll give them, it's that the uhuishaji had some effort put into it.
As for the acting, the characters all speak with appropriate accents. After all, it's only natural that Italy has an italian accent, Germany has a german accent, Arnold Sch- err, I mean, Austria has an austrian accent, etc. etc. etc. However, some of the accents are thicker than a tree-trunk, which can pose a problem when you're trying to understand what the characters are saying. Plus, the characters sometimes speak in a fast-paced tone of voice, almost as if they're auction salesmen link. Combine the two, and wewe can't understand a damn thing, even in english.
Let me touch upon the soundtrack for a moment. As far as I can tell, the soundtrack is just... eh. Nothing too interesting au atrocious. The only song of significance is the ending theme, Marukaite Chikyuu. However, here's the problem. The ending theme, as Ghost from True Capitalist Radio would say, is "fruitier than a box of Fruit-Loops". I've heard people say that the opening theme to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is annoying, but this just takes the cake. It almost sounds like an idiotic version of Roll's Theme from Marvel Vs. Capcom: Clash of the Super Heroes (a song that had a kick-ass remix in Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom).
The episode length is a freaking joke. Seriously? Only five minutes? Either the creators had to rushed this pile of cow manure out, au they were just too lazy to expand the episodes over five minutes. I've watched porn video that were longer (not to mention had zaidi effort put into them).
About the characters, there's good news and bad news. The good news is that they actually DID give reasons to like SOME of the characters. The bad news is, those reasons suck harder than a black hole, just like the characters themselves. Probably the only character who had any depth put into him is America, but even then, he only has a tiny amount, and not only that, but the time it takes to onyesha his backstory (which is basically the American Revolution, when America fought for independence from Britain) is dragged out to five episodes. Almost every single character is just there for the sake of nothing, with the sole exception being America, and considering that he has VERY little character development put into him... saying that he's the most developed... is saying a lot.
Another thing about the characters is the gender ratio, which is quite possibly the same as the gender ratio for Starter Pokemon. I've gone through twenty "episodes" of this crap, and wewe want to know how many FEMALE characters I saw? One. Just one. Her name is Hungary, and, SURPRISE SURPRISE, she sucks just as much as the rest of the characters.
One last issue I'd like to bring up: the educational value. Turns out that I was wrong. This anime actually DOES teach wewe things. However, I'd like to introduce wewe fangirls who are kusoma this (and probably raging harder than a hurricane) to a couple of video games.
Mario Is Missing
Mario's Time Machine
If wewe don't know what they are, then wewe probably don't play video games that much. Mario Is Missing and Mario's Time Machine are educational video games. They aren't made kwa Nintendo. Instead, they were made kwa a company known as Software Toolworks, who somehow received permission to use Mario characters in their games.
Many people know those games as textbook-examples of how NOT to make a good game (much like how Hetalia is a textbook-example of how NOT to make a good anime), and along with Hotel Mario, they're often revered as some of the worst Mario games ever made. Mario Is Missing and Mario's Time Machine are proof that when education and entertainment are put together, the results can be craptastic.
Think about it. Why do people play video games? Is it because they want to learn stuff? No, because first of all, video games aren't a substitute for textbooks (this is coming from someone who hates school, mind you), and sekunde of all, people play video games because they want to have fun and be entertained. The same thing applies to anime. People watch anime to be entertained, NOT to be educated. Hetalia often includes facts and such about history, and it feels so forced that I want to just shut off my TV and read a textbook.
Well, that's all I have to say for now. Again, I apologize if this is a little much (and I also apologize for the stupid joke in the title). Of course, there's a silver lining to all of this, and it's that I can now officially say that I've watched five episodes of Hetalia. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go watch some Power Rangers S.P.D. to wash the sour, wamekula taste of Hetalia out of my mouth. *expects the fangirls to throw a hissy-fit*
Probably the only woman you'll ever see in Hetalia. You won't miss her when she's gone, though, since she sucks just as much as the men.
Even with its nonsensical plot, Transformers Energon manages to be superior.
Either this guy was raised by a Snorlax, or he's trying desperately to combat a bad case of arthritis.
France, do everyone (including your "fans") a favor and keep your perverted sex life to yourself.
Screw the Axis Powers and Allies! Power Rangers Overdrive is the #1 team!
Steve Rogers wants to fight for justice and freedom, not the ugly schnoz of some random douche.
