Let's be honest EVERYONE knows about this dude.



Unless your from a dead beat country like (insert town of one of my shabiki pop friends) wewe know it's Jason-Fucking-Voorhees.
The machete dude.. The undead monster.. The "stab wewe for no reason" undead dude.

Frankly I don't think I have ever actually SEEN the Friday the 13th series.. I know who Jason Voorhees IS.. I mean, I seen Freddy VS Jason..
Such an underrated movie..

But anyway. I finally seen this series..
But too be honest..
I don't find these sinema actually very good.
Their not BAD.. There just kinda stupid..
Witch is weird coming from a guy who likes sinema about a undead child rapist attacking people in their dreams, and making unfunny jokes about it.

But, I just find Michael Myers scarier than Jason Voorhees.
Michael Myers is "always there". He's always watching you. And it's creepy.
Friday the 13th doesn't really give me the same sense of creepiness.

Particularly the first one.
Where (spoiler alert) It's actually Jason's mom who's the killer. (played my Betsy Palmer)



This is only my opinion..
But I just don't find Betsy Palmer too intimidating.
Other than the fact that she strikes us as such a sweet old lady, till she reveals her true nature.

But still, I find her zaidi intimidating in FREDDY VS JASON. Where she's played kwa this girl.



After Jason assumably drowned. His mom murdered all the counsellors. wewe know, cause that's the "rational" thing to do.
And now a days, Crystal Lake is assumed closed.
But teens sneak into it, to fuck in a horror movie.
Cause wewe know. That ALWAYS ends well.

And the only one stopping them, is a crazy man, ranting about stuff. And saying "YOUR DOOMED!"
When it'll be far zaidi affective to say

"Don't go into crystal lake, anyone who goes into crystal lake, dies"

Anyway.. At the end, Mrs Voorhees is killed kwa being decapitated kwa Alice, the last surviver.
Cause It's Pamela Voorhees who killed all of the characters in the film.
wewe know, cause Jason's assumed death is TOTALLY their fault.

All seems well, as Alice, instead of calling the police like normal person would. Instead goes into a canoe, simply to have that famish jump scare ending..

Anyway. Onto the sequel. Where it turns out, our man Jason never actually died.

Hold on.. Jason where the fuck have wewe been all this time!?
wewe mother went insane. Maybe a little barua pepe saying
"I'm alive :) - Jason"
Could of been nice.

But anyway. He kills Alice for killing his mom.
And we meet the new cast.

They say the legend of Crystal Lake.

"I don't wanna scare anyone, but I'm gonna give it to wewe straight about Jason. His body was never recovered from the lake after he drowned. And if wewe listen to the old-timers in town, they'll tell wewe he's still out there, some sort of demented creature, surviving in the wilderness, full grown kwa now... stalking... stealing what he needs, living off wild wanyama and vegetation. Some folks claim they've even seen him, right in this area. The girl that survived that night at Camp Blood, that... Friday The 13th? She claimed she saw him. She disappeared two months later... vanished. Blood was everywhere. No one knows what happened to her. Legend has it that Jason saw his mother beheaded that night. Then, he took his revenge, a revenge he continued to seek if anyone ever enters his wilderness again. And, kwa now, I guess wewe all know we're the first to return here. Five years... five long years he's been dorment. And he's hungry. Jason's out there... watching... always on the prowl for intruders... ready to kill... ready to devour... thirsty for young blood."

Wait a sec.. Nobody knows what happened too Alice!?
Seriously!?
There wasn't ANYTHING in the news about the poor girl being found with screw driver though the side of her head.

kwa the way.. I'm with the producers.
Jason looks baridi with this.



Instead of the hockey mask.

But anyway. The last surviver tricks Jason into believing she's his rdead mother, and than stabs the machete into Jason's shoulder.

Skip too film 3.
Bla, bla, bla.. People dying.
Including one them mistaking Jason for one of her friends.
Yeah, because a 7 foot tall, hockey mask wearing, blood covered, refigured man, can apparently look like "anyone".

Anyway.
The girl from the sekunde movie realizes it's the same killer, when he shows her his face when she's trying too hang him.

And after Jason barely survives being hung. He somehow also manages to survive getting hit kwa a fucking axe into the face.

But yet he's killed off kwa a little boy in the 4th.
Sure he hacks the SHIT out of Jason with his own machete.
But still.. A little silly.
Jason survived ALL these things. And dies from a little kid.

Well.. Least till he comes back as the zombie we all know him as now.
The insanely strong one.
Though I'm not sure what Jason's excuse for being insanely strong in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th are.. He's still alive.

But I do like the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th.
Cause Jason is "Vulnerable".
That's what throws me off in the later movies. He LITERARY can't be stopped.

Well.. He can.. But it sure as fuck isn't easy..

Anyway.. That's my review of Friday the 13th..

Please leave comments..
"Being drowned is so boring"