Episode 8: The Secret Unicorn Club
June 1, 1951
Honey had just finished bringing a train into Cheyenne. She was going to wait for her inayofuata assignment at the station, when she saw a sign.
Honey: The secret unicorn club?
Gordon: That's right, and if you're not a unicorn wewe can't join.
Honey: Who would want to jiunge your club anyway?
Jeff: Me.
Coffee Creme: Me too.
Honey: What for?
Jeff: He's offering us free things, like chakula and alcohol.
Gordon: Too bad you're not a unicorn. Leave!
Honey: Fine, I'll leave. But I just want wewe to know that this is a dumb idea *walks away*
Passengers: *walking toward station*
Gordon: Any passengers that aren't a unicorn must go around this building to get to wherever it is they need to go.
Earth ponies: Fuck!! *walks around station*
Pegasi: *fly*
Meanwhile, Honey went to meet with Hawkeye, Red Rose, Percy, and Orion.
Percy: I can't believe Jeff joined that club.
Hawkeye: I can't believe Coffee Creme joined too. If only unicorns are allowed, how is this railway going to make zaidi money?
Orion: What do wewe mean?
Honey: He means only unicorns can go in the station.
Orion: Welp, we're screwed.
Pete: No, they're screwed.
Hawkeye: Uh, sir? How long have wewe been eavesdropping on us?
Pete: Long enough to hear that Gordon is fucking things up for our railroad.
Red Rose: Well, that's good enough.
Pete: Now listen, here's what we'll do
But before Pete could discuss his plan, Coffee Creme, and Jeff teleported near them. Coffee Creme looked sick.
Coffee Creme: Oh, that burger was horrible, and I thought nothing could be worse then McDonalds!
Jeff: Gordon is a terrible cook. He tried cooking hamburgers on a grill, and he did them too well.
Pete: I hope no one got hurt, even though Coffee Creme is sick, but I'm not sure if wewe can get hurt from being sick.
Honey: I don't think so sir.
Hawkeye: We gotta stop Gordon from being a asshole!
Jeff: So just like the last three times?
Hawkeye: Yeah, pretty much.
Pete: Ok, well here's the plan.
Five dakika later
Pete: What we need to do is hire a new unicorn, and get him to find out about what Gordon is up to.
Orion: Like a spy?
Pete: Yup.
Bartholomew: *teleports inayofuata to Pete*
Pete: This is our new worker, Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. He's british, so don't make fun of him for that.
Coffee Creme: Uh, nopony makes fun of the british at all.
Pete: Ok then. Good luck *walks away*
Hawkeye: Hello Bartholo- lomr- mew
Bartholomew: *laughs* wewe don't have to call me kwa my full name. Bart will do nicely.
Hawkeye: Oh, hi Bart.
Bartholomew: Hello. I must say, it shall be interesting working on an Equestrian railway. In the United Kingdom we had nothing like what you've got. Your railways are zaidi modern.
Jeff: Thanks. But listen, wewe really gotta go to Gordon's secret unicorn club. We need to know about what we're dealing with here.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, of course. What do wewe need me to do?
At the station
Gordon: *sleeping*
Bartholomew: Hello.
Gordon: AH, Winston Churchill!! *sees Bartholomew* Oh. Uh, what do wewe want?
Bartholomew: I wanted to jiunge your secret unicorn club.
Gordon: Oh yeah. Sure. Welcome.
Hawkeye: Ok, he's in.
Pete: Now get ready for the attack.
Hawkeye: Attack?
Red Rose: We're going to kill him?
Pete: NO!! Nopony is going to die!!
Gordon: Haha! Listen to that. The sound of arguing earth ponies.
Bartholomew: Yes, at least we unicorns are civilized.
Gordon: True, true. *drinking beer*
Police pony: Hey!! What are wewe doing?
Gordon: Me?
Police: Yes you! It says no alcoholic beverages in the station!!
Gordon: Well I'm not in the station! I'm on the platform, sitting in a chair, with a grill!!
Police pony: wewe can't have any of that on the platform. You're underarrest *arrests Gordon*
Jeff: Haha!! Gordon got arrested!
Pete: Yeah, but I wanted to punish him! We gotta bust him out.
Gordon was in the Cheyenne Jailhouse.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hi.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hello!
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Do wewe always say the same thing to a gppony, pony 75 times in a row?
Police officer: Hey, shut the fuck up in there.
Gordon: What did I do?! I start a club, then get arrested for having things for the club, and now I'm getting in trouble for being bothered kwa another pony?!!?!?!?!?
Police: wewe were talking.
Gordon: He was talking too!!
Cellmate: Hey.
Police: Hello Bob.
Gordon: What the fuck?
Police: Watch your language loser!
Gordon: wewe just told me to shut the fuck up!
Police: No I didn't *walks away*
Gordon: I'm pretty sure wewe did!
Police: I never say anything cruel to anypony.
At the entrance of the jailhouse.
Pete: Excuse me. Is there anypony here named Gordon? I'd like to bail him out.
Police pony: That'll be Fourty dollars, and twelve bits.
Pete: *pays officer*
Gordon: *sees Pete*
Police pony: Ok Gordon. wewe can go now.
Gordon: Yes! Thank wewe *runs away*
Pete: Wait up! *chases Gordon*
Gordon, and Pete soon got back at the station
Gordon: Thank wewe for getting me out of there!
Pete: No problem, but wewe gotta do me a favor.
Gordon: What's that?
Pete: Get rid of your secret unicorn club. It sounds stupid.
Gordon: But it's great. We have drinks, cook outs, and-
Pete: wewe got arrested for it.
Gordon: All I wanted was some peace, and quiet!
Pete: Well all wewe had to do was simply ask.
Gordon: Simply asking makes my head hurt.
Pete: Well that's something you'll have to deal with. There are sometimes when wewe have to think of others. If wewe keep thinking about yourself, you're not just hurting everyone's feelings, but you're also hurting yourself.
Gordon: How so?
Pete: You're hurting yourself kwa getting rid of all the ponies wewe care about.
Gordon: And those are?
Pete: Screw it. Why do I even bother to be around you? *walks away*
Gordon: Now I know the feeling *walks away*
Gordon went to everypony
Gordon: I wanna apologize for being mean to you. Can wewe all forgive me?
Jeff: No.
Gordon: Holy shit! I just apologized!
Jeff: *laughs* Just joking with wewe Gordon. Of course we forgive you.
Hawkeye: wewe may be an asshole at times, but deep down, you're a good pony.
Coffee Creme: I still don't understand why wewe hate steam engines.
Gordon: I don't hate them, I just think diesels are better.
Hawkeye: Well, let me just say that these steam engines will never be replaced!
Ten years later
Hawkeye: *sees diesels* Great. Ten years ago, I alisema some things that would eventually become a lie.
The end
On the inayofuata episode of ponies on the rails
Bartholomew conducts Hawkeye's train.
June 1, 1951
Honey had just finished bringing a train into Cheyenne. She was going to wait for her inayofuata assignment at the station, when she saw a sign.
Honey: The secret unicorn club?
Gordon: That's right, and if you're not a unicorn wewe can't join.
Honey: Who would want to jiunge your club anyway?
Jeff: Me.
Coffee Creme: Me too.
Honey: What for?
Jeff: He's offering us free things, like chakula and alcohol.
Gordon: Too bad you're not a unicorn. Leave!
Honey: Fine, I'll leave. But I just want wewe to know that this is a dumb idea *walks away*
Passengers: *walking toward station*
Gordon: Any passengers that aren't a unicorn must go around this building to get to wherever it is they need to go.
Earth ponies: Fuck!! *walks around station*
Pegasi: *fly*
Meanwhile, Honey went to meet with Hawkeye, Red Rose, Percy, and Orion.
Percy: I can't believe Jeff joined that club.
Hawkeye: I can't believe Coffee Creme joined too. If only unicorns are allowed, how is this railway going to make zaidi money?
Orion: What do wewe mean?
Honey: He means only unicorns can go in the station.
Orion: Welp, we're screwed.
Pete: No, they're screwed.
Hawkeye: Uh, sir? How long have wewe been eavesdropping on us?
Pete: Long enough to hear that Gordon is fucking things up for our railroad.
Red Rose: Well, that's good enough.
Pete: Now listen, here's what we'll do
But before Pete could discuss his plan, Coffee Creme, and Jeff teleported near them. Coffee Creme looked sick.
Coffee Creme: Oh, that burger was horrible, and I thought nothing could be worse then McDonalds!
Jeff: Gordon is a terrible cook. He tried cooking hamburgers on a grill, and he did them too well.
Pete: I hope no one got hurt, even though Coffee Creme is sick, but I'm not sure if wewe can get hurt from being sick.
Honey: I don't think so sir.
Hawkeye: We gotta stop Gordon from being a asshole!
Jeff: So just like the last three times?
Hawkeye: Yeah, pretty much.
Pete: Ok, well here's the plan.
Five dakika later
Pete: What we need to do is hire a new unicorn, and get him to find out about what Gordon is up to.
Orion: Like a spy?
Pete: Yup.
Bartholomew: *teleports inayofuata to Pete*
Pete: This is our new worker, Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. He's british, so don't make fun of him for that.
Coffee Creme: Uh, nopony makes fun of the british at all.
Pete: Ok then. Good luck *walks away*
Hawkeye: Hello Bartholo- lomr- mew
Bartholomew: *laughs* wewe don't have to call me kwa my full name. Bart will do nicely.
Hawkeye: Oh, hi Bart.
Bartholomew: Hello. I must say, it shall be interesting working on an Equestrian railway. In the United Kingdom we had nothing like what you've got. Your railways are zaidi modern.
Jeff: Thanks. But listen, wewe really gotta go to Gordon's secret unicorn club. We need to know about what we're dealing with here.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, of course. What do wewe need me to do?
At the station
Gordon: *sleeping*
Bartholomew: Hello.
Gordon: AH, Winston Churchill!! *sees Bartholomew* Oh. Uh, what do wewe want?
Bartholomew: I wanted to jiunge your secret unicorn club.
Gordon: Oh yeah. Sure. Welcome.
Hawkeye: Ok, he's in.
Pete: Now get ready for the attack.
Hawkeye: Attack?
Red Rose: We're going to kill him?
Pete: NO!! Nopony is going to die!!
Gordon: Haha! Listen to that. The sound of arguing earth ponies.
Bartholomew: Yes, at least we unicorns are civilized.
Gordon: True, true. *drinking beer*
Police pony: Hey!! What are wewe doing?
Gordon: Me?
Police: Yes you! It says no alcoholic beverages in the station!!
Gordon: Well I'm not in the station! I'm on the platform, sitting in a chair, with a grill!!
Police pony: wewe can't have any of that on the platform. You're underarrest *arrests Gordon*
Jeff: Haha!! Gordon got arrested!
Pete: Yeah, but I wanted to punish him! We gotta bust him out.
Gordon was in the Cheyenne Jailhouse.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hi.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hello!
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Do wewe always say the same thing to a gppony, pony 75 times in a row?
Police officer: Hey, shut the fuck up in there.
Gordon: What did I do?! I start a club, then get arrested for having things for the club, and now I'm getting in trouble for being bothered kwa another pony?!!?!?!?!?
Police: wewe were talking.
Gordon: He was talking too!!
Cellmate: Hey.
Police: Hello Bob.
Gordon: What the fuck?
Police: Watch your language loser!
Gordon: wewe just told me to shut the fuck up!
Police: No I didn't *walks away*
Gordon: I'm pretty sure wewe did!
Police: I never say anything cruel to anypony.
At the entrance of the jailhouse.
Pete: Excuse me. Is there anypony here named Gordon? I'd like to bail him out.
Police pony: That'll be Fourty dollars, and twelve bits.
Pete: *pays officer*
Gordon: *sees Pete*
Police pony: Ok Gordon. wewe can go now.
Gordon: Yes! Thank wewe *runs away*
Pete: Wait up! *chases Gordon*
Gordon, and Pete soon got back at the station
Gordon: Thank wewe for getting me out of there!
Pete: No problem, but wewe gotta do me a favor.
Gordon: What's that?
Pete: Get rid of your secret unicorn club. It sounds stupid.
Gordon: But it's great. We have drinks, cook outs, and-
Pete: wewe got arrested for it.
Gordon: All I wanted was some peace, and quiet!
Pete: Well all wewe had to do was simply ask.
Gordon: Simply asking makes my head hurt.
Pete: Well that's something you'll have to deal with. There are sometimes when wewe have to think of others. If wewe keep thinking about yourself, you're not just hurting everyone's feelings, but you're also hurting yourself.
Gordon: How so?
Pete: You're hurting yourself kwa getting rid of all the ponies wewe care about.
Gordon: And those are?
Pete: Screw it. Why do I even bother to be around you? *walks away*
Gordon: Now I know the feeling *walks away*
Gordon went to everypony
Gordon: I wanna apologize for being mean to you. Can wewe all forgive me?
Jeff: No.
Gordon: Holy shit! I just apologized!
Jeff: *laughs* Just joking with wewe Gordon. Of course we forgive you.
Hawkeye: wewe may be an asshole at times, but deep down, you're a good pony.
Coffee Creme: I still don't understand why wewe hate steam engines.
Gordon: I don't hate them, I just think diesels are better.
Hawkeye: Well, let me just say that these steam engines will never be replaced!
Ten years later
Hawkeye: *sees diesels* Great. Ten years ago, I alisema some things that would eventually become a lie.
The end
On the inayofuata episode of ponies on the rails
Bartholomew conducts Hawkeye's train.
#1: DIMITRI RASCALOV:
Sure one of the greatest feelings is finally putting a bullet in him.. But nobody can disagree he's not of the greatest GTA villains..
#2: BILLY GREY:
There's always been a certain entertainment about Billy. He's actually kinda funny, even at his most dispicable..
#3: EDGAR ROSS:
Least until the ending, where he kills you..
#4: ROY EARLE:
He is a sexist, racist Jerkass sleaze of a cop who would gladly sell his partner out and benefit from his misery. But like Billy, there's such a entertainment about him. Espically since he also the most sarcastic character in the game..
#5: BOWSER:
Who doesn't upendo Bowser..
Sure one of the greatest feelings is finally putting a bullet in him.. But nobody can disagree he's not of the greatest GTA villains..
#2: BILLY GREY:
There's always been a certain entertainment about Billy. He's actually kinda funny, even at his most dispicable..
#3: EDGAR ROSS:
Least until the ending, where he kills you..
#4: ROY EARLE:
He is a sexist, racist Jerkass sleaze of a cop who would gladly sell his partner out and benefit from his misery. But like Billy, there's such a entertainment about him. Espically since he also the most sarcastic character in the game..
#5: BOWSER:
Who doesn't upendo Bowser..
Well.. I'll say Sword was right about it being sad again.
But that would lead too him say
"I told wewe so"
And I'll say
"Don't have too rub it in"
And he'll say
"Yes I do"
And than he'll pour coffee onto me.
And I'll say
"Dick"
And he'll say
"Thank you"
either way.. I'm enjoying the funny episode while I can. Before I have too start crying again.
This onyesha is doing anything it can too depress us. Like it's the shows job.. Too kick us in the balls and say "Life sucks, deal with it"
The onyesha is an asshole.
But that would lead too him say
"I told wewe so"
And I'll say
"Don't have too rub it in"
And he'll say
"Yes I do"
And than he'll pour coffee onto me.
And I'll say
"Dick"
And he'll say
"Thank you"
either way.. I'm enjoying the funny episode while I can. Before I have too start crying again.
This onyesha is doing anything it can too depress us. Like it's the shows job.. Too kick us in the balls and say "Life sucks, deal with it"
The onyesha is an asshole.
So.. Here's another review..
The strory Nina reads is weird.. Especially the way she reads it.
I'd say I understand it now. But.. I don't.
This so is so confusing.
But hey. It's like THE ACCOUNTANT. I had no idea what exactly happened, just watched for the gun fights, and was happy.
This onyesha has kind of animation.. All anime have that sort of odd animation, where people look like pictures, not normal people at times.
But hey.. Good episodes I guess.. The hitman seems dead. Guess now Johan actually has too "do stuff", witch must suck for him xD
The strory Nina reads is weird.. Especially the way she reads it.
I'd say I understand it now. But.. I don't.
This so is so confusing.
But hey. It's like THE ACCOUNTANT. I had no idea what exactly happened, just watched for the gun fights, and was happy.
This onyesha has kind of animation.. All anime have that sort of odd animation, where people look like pictures, not normal people at times.
But hey.. Good episodes I guess.. The hitman seems dead. Guess now Johan actually has too "do stuff", witch must suck for him xD
I think I seen episode 9 before.
Well, at least the scene where Todd discovers the truth of his rock opera.
It's funnier now that I know what he's actually talking about.
Aaron paul's voice is so funny when having a character like Todd trying to actually "think".
And the fact it WASN'T revenge, is too funny.
I upendo wewe Todd..
Anyway.. The onyesha is certainly a lot deeper now.
Sometimes it's a good thing.. But sometimes it's a depressing thing.. Mixes between those things.
We're almost done season 1 anyway, inayofuata week jiunge me for the conclusion of season 1..
Well, at least the scene where Todd discovers the truth of his rock opera.
It's funnier now that I know what he's actually talking about.
Aaron paul's voice is so funny when having a character like Todd trying to actually "think".
And the fact it WASN'T revenge, is too funny.
I upendo wewe Todd..
Anyway.. The onyesha is certainly a lot deeper now.
Sometimes it's a good thing.. But sometimes it's a depressing thing.. Mixes between those things.
We're almost done season 1 anyway, inayofuata week jiunge me for the conclusion of season 1..
sorry for the delay.. I thought I was sick yesterday. But turns out it's indigestion au something.
Anyway.. Guess I got my wish.
Something is actually "happening" now.
I thought THE BABY would lead to the onyesha becoming my exciting, but turns out it's that other guy. Whatever his name is. The bodyguard that betrayed the guy in episode 21.
As usual, I don't really have much to say. But it did convince me to rewatch episode 4.
I think that's my favourite episode so far. It reminds me why I'm watching it, moments like episode 4.
au even that shootout in episode 21.
Oh well, hopefully this means I'm done the moments of "convincing myself" to keep watching this show. And actually have things happen now. :)
Anyway.. Guess I got my wish.
Something is actually "happening" now.
I thought THE BABY would lead to the onyesha becoming my exciting, but turns out it's that other guy. Whatever his name is. The bodyguard that betrayed the guy in episode 21.
As usual, I don't really have much to say. But it did convince me to rewatch episode 4.
I think that's my favourite episode so far. It reminds me why I'm watching it, moments like episode 4.
au even that shootout in episode 21.
Oh well, hopefully this means I'm done the moments of "convincing myself" to keep watching this show. And actually have things happen now. :)