Last edited 21 December 2007
If a link is to be believed, most of us fanpop users live in cities au their suburbs. For those of us who do, I issue another challenge, but this time it's not designing your own game au uandishi poetry. This is a krisimasi challenge, so it follows in the spirit of the holiday. We can all get caught up in the glamour of the holiday (in both meanings of the word), but regardless of your belief in the divinity of Jesus, the holiday is to commemorate his birth, and since most of the history we have of him is about his caring for the disenfranchised, poor and sick, I challenge us all to do the same this holiday season.
Some background
It's my habit to bring snacks to meetings I attend at work (so that, if nothing else of worth happens, at least there's good victuals to be had). Recently I bought groceries for my family at link, only to discover that I'd accidentally bought a product that my wife and son couldn't eat due to their allergies. Whoops! Yesterday I realized that I had a little time before my first meeting, and drove off to TJ's to exchange the item. Walking out of the store, feeling pretty smug that I'd completed the transaction so quickly, I realized that I could use this chakula for the meeting, so that I could continue my tradition of supplying chakula for our often-stultifying meetings. Now I was really smug!
Then I saw James, a weatherbeaten, stooped homeless man, shuffling across the parking lot, and my smug bubble burst. I went over and introduced myself, shook his hand, asked him his name, and listened to him. He asked for some money, which I gave to him. Then I realized that I was still holding the package of food, and so I offered it to James, who thought about it and decided to accept my offer. We talked a little bit more, I shook his hand again and bade him farewell. I drove off and started to tunga this makala in my mind.
The Challenge
The challenge is simple: give some of your time to help someone way less fortunate than wewe before the new year. If wewe live in a city au a suburb of a city, there are homeless people where wewe live. There are also likely to be battered women's shelters, orphanages and supu kitchens, all of which are certain to need help during the holdiays, when the need is most felt (to paraphrase Dickens).
Some of wewe may say "I already make a regular financial donation to X organization, which provides aid to the homeless" to which I say Bravo! But that's not the challenge. The challenge is: give some of your time to help someone way less fortunate than wewe before the new year.
Ways to give your time
In a broad sense, there are two ways to give your time to those less fortunate than you: in person, au via an organization formed for such a purpose.
Volunteering with an organization
There are many, many charitable organizations around the world that serve the hungry and the homeless where wewe live, and almost all of them are operated kwa volunteers just like wewe au me. I'll provide some viungo to some ones that are local to me at the end of this article, but I'd appreciate it if wewe would add viungo for organizations in your area in your maoni on this article. Generally speaking, the way it works is this:
* wewe volunteer kwa calling a telephone number for the organization
* a volunteer there tells wewe when and where to be in order to help
* wewe arrive at the appointed place and time (usually a shelter, community center au church). Donated food/toys/supplies arrive, and wewe jiunge the volunteers sorting the goods in preparation for the recipients' arrival.
* the homeless/needy/abused people arrive, form a queue and proceed past the volunteers, getting chakula au supplies served to them
* after the bulk of the serving is done, volunteers might have time to circulate among the people and interact with them
* after the appointed time has come to a close, the volunteers clean up
Interacting with the homeless in person
Whether wewe volunteer with an organization au wewe see the man on the mitaani, mtaa corner rather than stepping over him, at some point you'll have an opportunity to interact with the people wewe are trying to help. Here's some general guidelines for such interaction:
1. Money
Many homeless people will ask for money. Some of wewe may say "I don't give money to those people. They'd just waste it on <insert vice here>." Here are some things to consider:
* wewe can't control how anybody uses a gift wewe give them. If wewe think wewe can, wewe are just that crazy.
* If wewe withhold something that they need from someone because they might misuse it, that means that wewe neither respect nor trust that person. The message wewe send is "I don't think wewe are capable to handle responsibility, so I won't give wewe that chance."
* Giving money is much, much easier than giving your time. Most homeless have come to ask for money because that's the most they can expect to get, and even that is ego-crushing/humbling. Don't think for a moment that it is easy for an homeless person to ask for money. Imagine instead how wewe would feel if wewe woke up one morning and everything was gone. No Fanpop, no computer, no bed, no room, no house, no car, no money in the bank. What would wewe do? You'd try to fix it on your own, right, maybe get a loan from the bank au use a credit card? Imagine then that neither will extend wewe any credit, and that your family is not there to support you, for whatever reason. You'd have to rely on the kindness of strangers, even if it was just to keep wewe alive until your inayofuata paycheck, knowing that whatever the causes of your poverty, everyone is going to assume that it's your fault that you're in this situation and judge wewe accordingly. Imagining all that, how easy is it going to be for wewe to ask for money? How much worse will it feel when the people don't give wewe anything? Does that get easier over time, the judgement and rejection from complete strangers?
All that said, earlier I specifically alisema that the challenge was not to give money but to give time. Giving some money to a homeless person is a way of demonstrating trust, respect, and providing support to a person who is down on his/her luck. As I alisema earlier, it's also the sum total of what such a person has come to expect, through long experience of painful interactions ("Here's some change. Don't touch me!"). As such it can serve as a way of getting past the barriers the person has put up so that wewe can, possibly, onyesha them some further respect kwa spending time with them. If wewe really don't have money to give, wewe can still give them your attention.
2. Attention
The homeless life is incredibly isolating, as the people find themselves disenfranchised, ignored, and alone zaidi often than not. One of the most valuable things wewe can give to someone who is homeless, neglected au abused is your attention. Talk to them, and listen to what they have to say. Tell them your name, ask them theirs, and remember it. Make eye contact, and ask maswali about the things they tell you.
3. Touch
To be human is to need physical contact with our fellow men. If wewe can do so safely and appropriately, make some slight physical contact as wewe both feel comfortable. Such physical contact should never make wewe feel threatened, so if wewe feel really unsafe, don't do it. A handshake always works well to demonstrate respect, I've found. If you've already established a friendship with the person from awali interactions and you'd think that you'd both be comfortable with it, wewe might clap a hand on the shoulder in camaraderie or, maybe, give a hug when saying hello au goodbye (that's really only appropriate if you've seen and talked to the person several times previously).
The physical contact should also communicate that wewe are interacting as equals, so wewe should avoid doing things that might be interpreted as condescending au overly familiar to the other person, such as patting them on the head au remaining in their personal space for any significant length of time. Generally, a good distance is just inside arm's-length, not closer and not farther away.
4. Other things
In general, think of your interactions with homeless as with an old acquaintance whom wewe haven't seen for years. Whether au not wewe see your way to giving money, wewe could take them to a store and buy them a koti, jacket au blanket. wewe could take them to a restaurant and buy a meal. wewe could take them to a grocery and buy them some food, water and perhaps some toiletries. As an alternative, wewe could prepare a "kit" of such things in advance, so that when wewe run into someone who is homeless, wewe could readily provide these things from the bag.
A note on food:
chakula is best when it's packaged, unopened, and not partially eaten. It's OK when wewe have just finished a meal with the person to offer the leftovers to them, but meeting someone on the mitaani, mtaa and handing them a package of leftovers, while it might help them, is still treating them like the family dog. The better thing to do is to order an extra burger at the fast chakula place, au buy a couple of extra packages of chakula at the store, then offer complete, "virgin" items. That way the person doesn't feel like an afterthought.
Tips on being safe
All this said, don't put yourself in unsafe situations. For many people new to it, interacting with the homeless might feel uncomfortable: that's not what I'm talking about. Uncomfortable in that context can be good. What I'm talking about it taking precautions to make sure that wewe are salama and that your boundaries as well as the other's boundaries are not broken. Homeless, orphans and abused women/children are people deserving of your respect, but they are human, and have their foibles and brokenness just like the rest of us. Here are some basic tips:
A. Don't go alone.
If wewe go to volunteer, take an adult friend au family member with you. For that matter, let family and Marafiki know where wewe will be before going. If wewe talk to homeless people on the street, make sure wewe are in a public, well-lit place with lots of other people in the vicinity.
B. Be prepared for rejection
Much like the link who is surprised that other mashabiki object when they bombard bila mpangilio spots with content, wewe will occasionally find that your attention is not welcomed. Do not insist on your philanthropy - it's condescending if it's not welcome. Be prepared that some people just won't want to talk, won't want handouts, and won't even want money. Humans are universally proud, and everyone wants to feel that he can do it on his own, sometimes.
C. Be prepared to assert your boundaries
Be friendly, but know that desperate people can be very "clingy" emotionally. They may try to take zaidi of your time au personal space from wewe than you're willing to give. If a person is trying to get too close to you, trying to touch wewe inappropriately, au asking inappropriate questions, be firm, saying: "I want to talk to you, but I'm not comfortable with what you're doing/saying right now. If wewe continue, I'm going to have to leave." if they're being physically inappropriate au "I'd rather hear about <x> (where you're from, how long you've been in this area, et cetera)." if the conversation is getting abusive au too personal.
D. Give money wisely
If wewe do give money, have the bills ready in a pocket separate from the rest of your money au in your hand as wewe offer it to them. Don't unroll bills from a money clip au flash your billfold in front of them. Don't jingle your pockets full of change at them.
E. Leave safely
When you're ready to leave, be clear that it is time for wewe to leave, and say goodbye. Shake the person's hand if wewe are comfortable doing so, and then leave. If it seems like the person is following you, go to a public location with lots of people and call a friend au family member to come get you. If wewe were volunteering with an organization, go to the volunteer coordinator and tell him/her that wewe are uncomfortable. Make sure to leave with all the other volunteers, rather than remaining afterward so that wewe have to leave alone.
F. Give them a choice
Whether wewe offer money, food, au other supplies, make it clear that they have the option to refuse your charity. Rather than saying "You look like wewe need this zaidi than I do; here, take this" say something like "I've got this; would wewe like it?"
G. Exercise common sense
Use your best judgement as to what's salama in these situations. If wewe are a minor, don't even think about accepting this challenge without the consent and assistance of one au both of your parents.
Conclusion
krisimasi is a time for giving, not just to the people we know, but to the less fortunate all around us. I invite wewe to accept this challenge and give some of your time to someone who really needs it.
As I mentioned before, please provide viungo to your local agencies that provide such assistance in the maoni on this article, as well as accounts of your experiences reaching out in this manner.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Some viungo for volunteer organizations:
link
link
link
If a link is to be believed, most of us fanpop users live in cities au their suburbs. For those of us who do, I issue another challenge, but this time it's not designing your own game au uandishi poetry. This is a krisimasi challenge, so it follows in the spirit of the holiday. We can all get caught up in the glamour of the holiday (in both meanings of the word), but regardless of your belief in the divinity of Jesus, the holiday is to commemorate his birth, and since most of the history we have of him is about his caring for the disenfranchised, poor and sick, I challenge us all to do the same this holiday season.
Some background
It's my habit to bring snacks to meetings I attend at work (so that, if nothing else of worth happens, at least there's good victuals to be had). Recently I bought groceries for my family at link, only to discover that I'd accidentally bought a product that my wife and son couldn't eat due to their allergies. Whoops! Yesterday I realized that I had a little time before my first meeting, and drove off to TJ's to exchange the item. Walking out of the store, feeling pretty smug that I'd completed the transaction so quickly, I realized that I could use this chakula for the meeting, so that I could continue my tradition of supplying chakula for our often-stultifying meetings. Now I was really smug!
Then I saw James, a weatherbeaten, stooped homeless man, shuffling across the parking lot, and my smug bubble burst. I went over and introduced myself, shook his hand, asked him his name, and listened to him. He asked for some money, which I gave to him. Then I realized that I was still holding the package of food, and so I offered it to James, who thought about it and decided to accept my offer. We talked a little bit more, I shook his hand again and bade him farewell. I drove off and started to tunga this makala in my mind.
The Challenge
The challenge is simple: give some of your time to help someone way less fortunate than wewe before the new year. If wewe live in a city au a suburb of a city, there are homeless people where wewe live. There are also likely to be battered women's shelters, orphanages and supu kitchens, all of which are certain to need help during the holdiays, when the need is most felt (to paraphrase Dickens).
Some of wewe may say "I already make a regular financial donation to X organization, which provides aid to the homeless" to which I say Bravo! But that's not the challenge. The challenge is: give some of your time to help someone way less fortunate than wewe before the new year.
Ways to give your time
In a broad sense, there are two ways to give your time to those less fortunate than you: in person, au via an organization formed for such a purpose.
Volunteering with an organization
There are many, many charitable organizations around the world that serve the hungry and the homeless where wewe live, and almost all of them are operated kwa volunteers just like wewe au me. I'll provide some viungo to some ones that are local to me at the end of this article, but I'd appreciate it if wewe would add viungo for organizations in your area in your maoni on this article. Generally speaking, the way it works is this:
* wewe volunteer kwa calling a telephone number for the organization
* a volunteer there tells wewe when and where to be in order to help
* wewe arrive at the appointed place and time (usually a shelter, community center au church). Donated food/toys/supplies arrive, and wewe jiunge the volunteers sorting the goods in preparation for the recipients' arrival.
* the homeless/needy/abused people arrive, form a queue and proceed past the volunteers, getting chakula au supplies served to them
* after the bulk of the serving is done, volunteers might have time to circulate among the people and interact with them
* after the appointed time has come to a close, the volunteers clean up
Interacting with the homeless in person
Whether wewe volunteer with an organization au wewe see the man on the mitaani, mtaa corner rather than stepping over him, at some point you'll have an opportunity to interact with the people wewe are trying to help. Here's some general guidelines for such interaction:
1. Money
Many homeless people will ask for money. Some of wewe may say "I don't give money to those people. They'd just waste it on <insert vice here>." Here are some things to consider:
* wewe can't control how anybody uses a gift wewe give them. If wewe think wewe can, wewe are just that crazy.
* If wewe withhold something that they need from someone because they might misuse it, that means that wewe neither respect nor trust that person. The message wewe send is "I don't think wewe are capable to handle responsibility, so I won't give wewe that chance."
* Giving money is much, much easier than giving your time. Most homeless have come to ask for money because that's the most they can expect to get, and even that is ego-crushing/humbling. Don't think for a moment that it is easy for an homeless person to ask for money. Imagine instead how wewe would feel if wewe woke up one morning and everything was gone. No Fanpop, no computer, no bed, no room, no house, no car, no money in the bank. What would wewe do? You'd try to fix it on your own, right, maybe get a loan from the bank au use a credit card? Imagine then that neither will extend wewe any credit, and that your family is not there to support you, for whatever reason. You'd have to rely on the kindness of strangers, even if it was just to keep wewe alive until your inayofuata paycheck, knowing that whatever the causes of your poverty, everyone is going to assume that it's your fault that you're in this situation and judge wewe accordingly. Imagining all that, how easy is it going to be for wewe to ask for money? How much worse will it feel when the people don't give wewe anything? Does that get easier over time, the judgement and rejection from complete strangers?
All that said, earlier I specifically alisema that the challenge was not to give money but to give time. Giving some money to a homeless person is a way of demonstrating trust, respect, and providing support to a person who is down on his/her luck. As I alisema earlier, it's also the sum total of what such a person has come to expect, through long experience of painful interactions ("Here's some change. Don't touch me!"). As such it can serve as a way of getting past the barriers the person has put up so that wewe can, possibly, onyesha them some further respect kwa spending time with them. If wewe really don't have money to give, wewe can still give them your attention.
2. Attention
The homeless life is incredibly isolating, as the people find themselves disenfranchised, ignored, and alone zaidi often than not. One of the most valuable things wewe can give to someone who is homeless, neglected au abused is your attention. Talk to them, and listen to what they have to say. Tell them your name, ask them theirs, and remember it. Make eye contact, and ask maswali about the things they tell you.
3. Touch
To be human is to need physical contact with our fellow men. If wewe can do so safely and appropriately, make some slight physical contact as wewe both feel comfortable. Such physical contact should never make wewe feel threatened, so if wewe feel really unsafe, don't do it. A handshake always works well to demonstrate respect, I've found. If you've already established a friendship with the person from awali interactions and you'd think that you'd both be comfortable with it, wewe might clap a hand on the shoulder in camaraderie or, maybe, give a hug when saying hello au goodbye (that's really only appropriate if you've seen and talked to the person several times previously).
The physical contact should also communicate that wewe are interacting as equals, so wewe should avoid doing things that might be interpreted as condescending au overly familiar to the other person, such as patting them on the head au remaining in their personal space for any significant length of time. Generally, a good distance is just inside arm's-length, not closer and not farther away.
4. Other things
In general, think of your interactions with homeless as with an old acquaintance whom wewe haven't seen for years. Whether au not wewe see your way to giving money, wewe could take them to a store and buy them a koti, jacket au blanket. wewe could take them to a restaurant and buy a meal. wewe could take them to a grocery and buy them some food, water and perhaps some toiletries. As an alternative, wewe could prepare a "kit" of such things in advance, so that when wewe run into someone who is homeless, wewe could readily provide these things from the bag.
A note on food:
chakula is best when it's packaged, unopened, and not partially eaten. It's OK when wewe have just finished a meal with the person to offer the leftovers to them, but meeting someone on the mitaani, mtaa and handing them a package of leftovers, while it might help them, is still treating them like the family dog. The better thing to do is to order an extra burger at the fast chakula place, au buy a couple of extra packages of chakula at the store, then offer complete, "virgin" items. That way the person doesn't feel like an afterthought.
Tips on being safe
All this said, don't put yourself in unsafe situations. For many people new to it, interacting with the homeless might feel uncomfortable: that's not what I'm talking about. Uncomfortable in that context can be good. What I'm talking about it taking precautions to make sure that wewe are salama and that your boundaries as well as the other's boundaries are not broken. Homeless, orphans and abused women/children are people deserving of your respect, but they are human, and have their foibles and brokenness just like the rest of us. Here are some basic tips:
A. Don't go alone.
If wewe go to volunteer, take an adult friend au family member with you. For that matter, let family and Marafiki know where wewe will be before going. If wewe talk to homeless people on the street, make sure wewe are in a public, well-lit place with lots of other people in the vicinity.
B. Be prepared for rejection
Much like the link who is surprised that other mashabiki object when they bombard bila mpangilio spots with content, wewe will occasionally find that your attention is not welcomed. Do not insist on your philanthropy - it's condescending if it's not welcome. Be prepared that some people just won't want to talk, won't want handouts, and won't even want money. Humans are universally proud, and everyone wants to feel that he can do it on his own, sometimes.
C. Be prepared to assert your boundaries
Be friendly, but know that desperate people can be very "clingy" emotionally. They may try to take zaidi of your time au personal space from wewe than you're willing to give. If a person is trying to get too close to you, trying to touch wewe inappropriately, au asking inappropriate questions, be firm, saying: "I want to talk to you, but I'm not comfortable with what you're doing/saying right now. If wewe continue, I'm going to have to leave." if they're being physically inappropriate au "I'd rather hear about <x> (where you're from, how long you've been in this area, et cetera)." if the conversation is getting abusive au too personal.
D. Give money wisely
If wewe do give money, have the bills ready in a pocket separate from the rest of your money au in your hand as wewe offer it to them. Don't unroll bills from a money clip au flash your billfold in front of them. Don't jingle your pockets full of change at them.
E. Leave safely
When you're ready to leave, be clear that it is time for wewe to leave, and say goodbye. Shake the person's hand if wewe are comfortable doing so, and then leave. If it seems like the person is following you, go to a public location with lots of people and call a friend au family member to come get you. If wewe were volunteering with an organization, go to the volunteer coordinator and tell him/her that wewe are uncomfortable. Make sure to leave with all the other volunteers, rather than remaining afterward so that wewe have to leave alone.
F. Give them a choice
Whether wewe offer money, food, au other supplies, make it clear that they have the option to refuse your charity. Rather than saying "You look like wewe need this zaidi than I do; here, take this" say something like "I've got this; would wewe like it?"
G. Exercise common sense
Use your best judgement as to what's salama in these situations. If wewe are a minor, don't even think about accepting this challenge without the consent and assistance of one au both of your parents.
Conclusion
krisimasi is a time for giving, not just to the people we know, but to the less fortunate all around us. I invite wewe to accept this challenge and give some of your time to someone who really needs it.
As I mentioned before, please provide viungo to your local agencies that provide such assistance in the maoni on this article, as well as accounts of your experiences reaching out in this manner.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Some viungo for volunteer organizations:
link
link
link