Okay so I am an emotional mess right now so please forgive me if I have failed to organize my thoughts in a cognizant manner!
Ever since the siku when Elena n Damon both lay on his kitanda awaiting for death to take him over, Elena giving a tender goodbye kiss and confessing that she likes him just way he is, have I waited for the three magic words. And today my moyo attained content and peace.
Elena (4x10): ‘I didn’t sleep with Damon because of the sire bond. I slept with Damon because I am in upendo with him. Being with Damon makes me happy. Its unpredictable, I feel free.’
Elena is an extremely loyal person at heart, she is well versed at keeping her real feelings hidden. When wewe become a vampire, your real character traits are pushed out on the surface. As a vampire, wewe are reborn. Elena struggled in the beginning at adapting to her real state but her entire sense of wanting ‘safety and comfort’ in a relationship slowly diminished. Her moyo always yearned for a consuming passionate upendo with adventure and she was herself a very wild-spirited girl who wanted to be challenged. When she turned, she didn’t change, Stefan might want to label it like that but the truth is that Elena actually rediscovered herself. Stefan didn’t understand her because he never tried to learn who Elena really was and what she wanted.
Elena has always been a lot like Damon. Both are devoted, reckless and headstrong passionate people. But she refused to acknowledge it because her loyalty always won the battle against her desires. As this season progressed and Elena started growing up n facing her fears, she started redefining herself and her life. This emotionally significant turning point for her came in 4x06 when she stood at the same place, where the two biggest tragedies of her life took place. Where her parents died and where she alisema goodbye to her human life. She stood there hallucinating Connor and Katherine telling her that she doesn’t deserve to live au to be loved and then her mother appeared and reaffirmed her fears. But that wasn’t her mother speaking, that was Elena’s subconscious talking. Remember (3x11) ‘I feel like I’ve disappointed them, my parents.’ I mean come on! No mother, even from her grave, would wish her daughter dead. But that night, facing the harsh cold truth of life, facing the darkest thoughts about herself, admitting that Stefan doesn’t truly upendo her, that its okay to be a vampire, it doesn’t have to be as catastrophic as it may seem, Elena found herself again. She was born again. She let go of the guilt that always gnawed at her heart, let go of the salama and right card that she always played. She let go off her loyalty and took a risk. Took a risk and gave into those deep strong feelings that she had harbored for god knows how long.
She realized that she is in upendo with Damon. She admitted today that being with Damon makes her happy. Admitted that she is challenged and feels zaidi alive n free in his presence. Why? Because she has always been like Damon. She is in upendo with a man who doesn’t expect anything from her. She has chosen the person who will always trust n upendo her no matter what she is and who she is with. She has chosen the man who respects her real traits and lets her revel in them instead of indirectly forcing her to live according to his wishes. Having a lover/boyfriend who respects your character, does wonders for a girl’s self confidence. She admitted that when she is around Stefan, she feels like a problem, she is wronged and needs to be set right. These truths were buried inside Elena’s moyo for a long time, waiting to be verbally admitted. So what? If it took an Original’s compulsion and a little compromise of her free will, it just facilitated the admission of truth.
Elena to Stefan (1x04): ‘Trust is earned. I can’t just magically hand it over.’
Elena to Damon (4x10): ‘You know that I trust you.’
Trust is an essential and fundamental part of any relationship. It is the most fragile yet strongest thread holding two people together. Damon has always been honest about his mistakes, his actions, his dark periods, about his feelings, about Stefan, with Elena. He has never left her side and Elena acknowledges it ‘he’s always been there for me when I needed him.’ kwa evolving, maturing and being honest with her, Damon earned her trust. It is because of this and the fact that Damon is such an integral part of Elena’s life that she is trusting him with the most important person to her; Jeremy. Elena could never have displayed that kind of trust in Stefan because that wasn’t the foundation and basis of their relationship in the first place.
Elena (4x10): ‘It’s the most real thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I upendo wewe Damon…I upendo you.’
Damon (4x10): ‘Get in the car, right now. Come to me.’
I was officially a melted puddle of goo when this happened. To say that this scene was perfect would be an understatement. Elena seated comfortably on THEIR porch, where a mwaka zamani they shared their first mutual kiss. She is sitting there talking with Damon about ‘them’ as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. And then the big upendo confession. I know some of u were bummed because their first upendo confession wasn’t fact to face but the time was perfect and it couldn’t be put off on hold for much longer. I honestly believe it was genius to have it done this way because when Elena is away from Damon, the sire bond can not interfere with her free will and agency. So everything she confessed, she meant it with every fiber of her being. Ten points to Julie Plec for her ingenuity!
Elena’s upendo for Damon is the most real thing she has ever felt and experienced in her life. kwa confessing this, Elena admitted how this feeling makes her alive, feel human. Because its not upendo that is part of humanity, its humanity that is part of love. Ever since she turned, her feelings for Damon have grown and gotten stronger. And Damon’s reaction on the other end of the line….I can’t even… seriously guys…I just can’t. Call 911 please, someone, anyone??? The emotional bliss in his eyes, he was at loss for words, the vulnerability and desperation to get the cure and savor this moment forever was just breathtaking. His gratitude when he looked towards the sky and smiled at God and possibly Alaric, was just moyo warming. For the first time, Damon was hearing those words come out of someone’s mouth. What made it even zaidi noteworthy and special was that he was hearing these words from the person, around whom his entire life and happiness revolves. And I am yet again, a pathetic sobbing mess!
For people (SE fans) who believe that Elena’s upendo confession was the sire bond talking, do u not realize how callous and foolish it would be of the writers to belittle these momentous and important moments, that will go down in the history of TVD n television, as the result of the sire bond playing and undervaluing Elena’s agency and mind. Plunge a scalpel through my hands, I will still never believe it. EVERYTHING WAS REAL. Case closed. There is no way the writers would be so heartless to yank this right from underneath us without making the pembetatu and onyesha morally dubious, redundant and deplorable.
Now lets talk about my beef with Stefan, which was grilled into a steak, mnofu after this episode. I am okay with him throwing hissy fits n tantrums, I will forgive him for throwing every piece of furniture in his house, I can even forgive him for putting Jeremy’s life on line for the cure but what Stefan did today has just earned him a juu place in the orodha of characters I hate the most. I understand one would be hurt and uchungu, chungu when the girl wewe upendo is in upendo with your brother and slept with him. One would feel betrayed at the mere thought of it but to guilt trip Elena just because she is in upendo with Damon? Seriously Stefan? She doesn’t owe wewe anything. She spent the entire summer looking for you, risking everyone’s life. She has aliyopewa wewe chance after chance at redemption and forgiveness even though wewe didn’t deserve it, remained loyal to wewe no matter the amount of pain wewe caused her and wewe have the nerve to guilt trip her for being happy. Ever heard of returning the favor, huh Stefan? So if Elena is ready to be taken to slaughter kwa Klaus au drowns and dies, wewe lips are sewed and wewe hardly do anything but when she admits she is in upendo with Damon and is happy, wewe take action and demonize her over it.
What’s even zaidi unfortunate and tragic is Stefan’s choice and decision to have every single moment he spent with Elena, when he first met her, when she told him she loved him, their first night together, when she chose him on that bridge, all the smiles and kisses they shared, all those good byes they had, all those promises they made, erased because the pain is too much to deal with? How can anyone even consider Stefan as a worthy man au lover after this moronic choice? It’s a huge disrespect and a slap in the name of love. Stefan practically spat on his relationship and upendo for Elena. He is so readily willing to have everything taken away from him because Elena doesn’t upendo him anymore. Only a man who cares about his happiness, his suffering and misery would choose this. SE is beyond repair now. This was the last nail in their coffin that has been hammered shut forever now. And to juu his already annoyingly selfish approach towards everything in his life, Stefan expresses his hatred towards Damon? The brother who gave up the upendo of his life because he wanted to do the right thing. The same brother who turned Abby and told Elena the truth behind your actions so your image wouldn’t be tainted. The same brother who has bore nothing but heartbreak in his entire life. And this is why I was and will never be a Defan shabiki because Stefan only cares about Damon when his life is on the line, apart from that he has always considered himself as the superior choice. He has never spared a thought about Damon’s happiness, never considered him worthy of love. Stefan has trashed him time after time to make himself look and feel good.
Stefan has always chosen the easier way out and today he did it once again. What even dumbfounded me was the lack of maturity and sanity on his part regarding the depth and reality behind Elena’s feelings for Damon. She, point blank, admitted the truth that she loves Damon but he still formed an alliance with Rebekah to find the cure. Because Stefan would at once hop on the ‘sire bond’ wagon and blame it for Elena dumping him rather than believing that she has genuine feelings for Damon, when he knows that Elena has been in upendo with Damon, as far back as 3x18, when the witch herself revealed that the only way for a vampire to be sired is if she has feelings for her sirer before she turns. Despise me, but I don’t feel bad for Stefan at all. He is doing this to himself.
On the other end of the spectrum is Damon. Even though he has been desperately and irrevocably in upendo with Elena, he stood kwa and watched her and Stefan be happy and live their lives. He loved her knowing she might never choose him. He never abandoned her au walked away but savored every moment he spent with her because it was real and he, for once in his life, was happy and felt human. 3x02: ‘when I drag my brother from the edge and bring him back to you, I want wewe to remember everything wewe felt while he was gone.’ Damon, knowing that when Stefan returns to his ‘old good self’ again, Elena would run into his arms without any hesitation and qualms, just wanted her to remember the time they spent together n knowing that she would, was enough for him. And this is the difference between both brothers; In 2x22 Damon confessed that he would go through the same heartbreak, betrayal and anguish that he bore for a 145 years just to meet Elena again. He wouldn't change anything about his life n choices, even if they got him killed, because they all brought him to Elena. In 4x10, after finding out that Elena is in upendo with Damon and has never been happier, Stefan chooses to forget every moment he spent with her. Damon is clearly the better man, he is most certainly the better brother and most definitely the best thing for Elena.
Damon 1x04: ‘Doesn’t it always come down to the upendo of a women.’
Yes it indeed does, but this time Damon has won because he deserved, fought and earned love. He never walked away from it and never will.
Side note: I upendo all of u Delena fans, I hope wewe know that! I just want to say that from now on, lets not try to create au take part in any shipwars. The facts are incontestable now but SE mashabiki will still clutch at any desperate reasons to defend Stefan and SE when the onyesha has clearly ended them and is all about DE now. Delena has won the battle and we have triumphed over SE n SE mashabiki after tonight’s episode. So lets revel in our victory and not spoil our moods au waste our time kwa paying any attention to those groundless and slanderous arguments kwa SE fans. Let them live in their own delusional bubbles while we enjoy our OTP- xoxo