If wewe are kusoma this letter then wewe have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If kwa some unprecedented chance wewe are kusoma this and wewe have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest wewe put down this letter and leave now, au the consequences for wewe will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.
Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which wewe must memorize and then eat,...
*To the tune of "Dangerous and Moving, kwa t.A.T.u.. If wewe don't know that song, here's a link: link*
Anyways, Dangerous and Moving, Death Eater style!
We'll take over the world today, And never give it back, And this is what the Order members say, Our lives are evil and black And this is how we move And this is how we sway Danger is the truth We fell and rose again!
Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange
Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s zaidi to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!
Credit: mugglenet.com I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.
1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."
2. "Oh, ha ha, wewe got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"
3. "Wow, you're even dumber than wewe look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for wewe now!!" *Prepare yourself kwa getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*
A handy-dandy Wikihow makala on how to make a horcrux, for all wewe aspiring Dark witches and wizards out there! Credit: wikihow.com
1. Become an extremely powerful witch au wizard. This will take years of study and sacrifice which lie beyond the scope of a WikiHow article. As a general guide wewe should not attempt to create a horcrux until wewe can cast non-verbal killing curses.
2. Locate an object of extreme significance to you. An emotional attachment to the object will aid the process and make it easier on your body and soul.