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Debate What is your stance on parents who use "I feed wewe and put a roof over your head" to get a child to stop au start doing something?

22 fans picked:
I disagree with it
   55%
It depends on the context
   36%
I agree with it
   9%
 zanhar1 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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11 comments

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zanhar1 picked I disagree with it:
For example a kid has bedtime but still wants to play. The kid asks why he/she can't keep playing. The parent responds, "my house, my rules." So the kid starts arguing. Eventually the parent says, "I'm the one feeding you and giving you a home, go to bed."

Another example a kid doesn't want to help with the household chores. The parent then tells him or her that the kid owes it to them to do the chores because, "I feed and cloth you."
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
 
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Riku114 picked I disagree with it:
Ugh honestly I hate this so much. Ive gotten it a few times before but if its used enough it does literally nothing but bad to the kid. Not only does it not properly teach them why or why not to do something, but it makes them feel guilty and worsens the relationship with the parent.

Sure maybe you do that and maybe that does deserve some recognition, but seriously, its a requirement of being a parent. Its not something the child owes you for.

Also, I feel the same about the "I gave birth to you / I carried you in me for nine months" stuff too. Cause you are saying they owe you for an action YOU did without them asking.

Its those guys that randomly run up to cards, splash some water on it, and demand payment for their "car wash"
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
 
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zanhar1 picked I disagree with it:
My basic stance is that as a parent YOU signed up for that. You gave birth knowing that you'd have to provide for the kid. The kid doesn't owe you anything. As Riku mentioned it goes had in hand with "I brought you into this world." Yeah, but I didn't ask for that? And let's be honest, there's a good many kids/teens out there who will be like, "gee thanks a lot." And not in a sincere way. Tbh some of them will probably rubuttle with, "I don't even want to be here."
One of my least favorite parental arguments are those three. Because again the kid didn't ask to be born; that was something the aren't decided for them.

As mentioned above it also doesn't do anything to teach the kid respect or why what they were doing was wrong.

And on top of that, a good parent should never try to treat their kid like a burden. It doesn't matter what the context is (imo). Saying one of those statements is basically telling a kid that they're a burden or a trouble.
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
last edited zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
 
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UnholyNoise picked I disagree with it:
providing the essentials like food and shelter is just being baseline responsible for the extra human that no one asked you to bring into the world. it's your duty as a parent, not some special service you're providing. so weird that parents act like martyrs for doing it.
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
last edited zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
 
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zanhar1 picked I disagree with it:
^
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
 
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BlindBandit92 picked I disagree with it:
Ya it's one of the main reasons why I dislike/disagree with most parents because all of them use this shit to get things done. It's insults and borderline infantile/hypocritical that these parents who were most likely annoyed at their own parents for abusing said things when they were younger are now doing the same things their own parents did. It's idiotic.
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
 
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zanhar1 picked I disagree with it:
That's what I'm saying; if you didn't like when it happened to you why do it to someone else?
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
 
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Phoenix98 picked I agree with it:
In today's world these kids have become sheltered, lazy, and disrespectful. They get away with anything and become spoiled ungrateful brats that run the house hold. In reality this is the truth they need to here. If it weren't for the parents, the kids would have nothing. Parents need to start..well being parents and not the buddy who only says candy coated things.

posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
last edited zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
 
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zanhar1 picked I disagree with it:
I don't think that that's necessarily true; some kids are sheltered and lazy but I know so many hard working kids. If you want disrespectful go into any Walmart and watch middle aged women bitch at cashiers over expired coupons that they can't control. Point is, disrespect, laziness, and entitledness lies within all generations. Sheltered I can agree with to a degree though, to me it seems like the media is censoring a lot of things because someone got offended.

I wholly heartedly disagree that kids need to hear, "I feed you and brought you into this world." To me it's just entirely wrong to hold a kid's existence over their head. Because again, they never asked to be born. I feel like it really undermine's a kid's worth to hear something like that.
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
 
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AudreyFreak picked I disagree with it:
Okay...even if they're "sheltered and lazy" (which makes me wonder who gets to define what as sheltered and lazy, because I work very hard with little complaint and my dad used to call me lazy all the time because I didn't hop to the chores the second he asked, so...) that in no way entitles the parent to use emotional blackmail by waving the basic necessities they're obligated to provide over the kid's head. That is selfish and immature at best and emotional abuse at worst.

I mean... When you're old and dependent on your kids or one of those elderly caretakers, would you enjoy hearing them essentially threaten you with the basic care you're owed could be taken away if they liked by reminding you it's only through them that you receive it?

Also... who let the kid become lazy and sheltered? Parents who allow their kids to become slackers deserve kids who slack off.
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.
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Lusamine picked I disagree with it:
That's a red herring.
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita.