jibu swali hili

Dream Diary Swali

Screaming Agony, a Million Tears

My stomach clenches and without thought i have to bolt through my room to the bathroom.
IBS
Its a syndrom were wewe cry ALL THE TIME but when wewe cry, wewe puke
I clutch my sides and wait for the pain to be released from my stomach
But today it sticks
Today tears roll down my face uncontrollably
Today Im curle up in a ball in the bathroom, ipod clutched close to me and a full bottle bext to my side
If i drink all that bottle
I wont wake up
EVER AGAIN
And all my pain will be over
Because this bottle isnt what wewe think
Its poroxide
And Today
I'll consider it
Nausea kreeps into my brain so Ill set the ipod down for a sekunde

Okay Im back
Thousand little voices scream
NEVER GOOD ENOUGH
NEVER PRETTY ENOUGH
NEVER SKINNY ENOUGH
ALLI - YOUR NEVER ENOUGH
The voices are what make my hands clasp the bottle
But just as Im thinking about opening it- just as Im looking at my phone... Staring at that last sentance....

Those words would be the las thing any o wewe would hear from me...
Mallory and Annie and Daniel and Mariah...
Thats all they would eer hear from me
But I care so much... About wewe guys....

Those names
Those four names make me set the vottle down
Those four names make me crew the cap, herufi kubwa back on
And wipe away my tears

I want to go back to before
Where fanpop was my place of happiness
I'll cry myself to sleep tonight... And be thinking of all of you,
And the voices will scream
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOT PRETTY ENOUGH
NOT SKINNY ENOUGH- NO YOULL NEVER BE ENOUGH!

And ill clutch my head in pain... Shove my face in the pillows
And thank four little names
That are keeping me alive
Four little... Not so little names
Who have an amazing place in my moyo
The engine
The par that keeps wewe goin



*
And Ellen... Dont forget your up there too, your an amazing, beautiful person.... Dont guve up Ellie
StReNgThHoPe posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
 StReNgThHoPe posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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Dream Diary Majibu

anniewannie said:
Dear Alli,
Whatever those voices tell you, don't listen to them. I swear to God that if I was with wewe right now, I would let wewe cry on my shoulder until wewe cry no zaidi while I would tell you, 'Alli, it's okay.' au 'You're beautiful Alli, even if wewe have that scar on your face. No one can judge that fact.'
I'm soooooo so sorry about your condition but, hey, at least your Marafiki are still here and I promise Alli, I will never let our friendship go. No matter what evil things come between us.
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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Thank wewe Annie... Your an amazing friend wewe really are
StReNgThHoPe posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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wewe are too Alli :). No matter what, I'll stand kwa your side :)
anniewannie posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
malmcd said:
Alli,

Over the past mwezi it's seems as if we've became closer then forever and share the same pain... I'm waiting for mine to stop but it seems as If it's just beginning., Your a beautiful person and an amazing friend and I know I wouldnt be here with out you... It was your name along with another that made me but that bottle down and finally get. I know to this siku I truly do need you.. I need wewe zaidi then ever and wewe need me to..
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
SongGirl50701 said:
Alli, your very inspirational to- like- EVERY ONE! girl, wewe smack our smiles and whack our dreams right up to help us. don't listen to the voices. Kick them out and shut that door. listen to soul lifting music, write, and take time. girl, your zaidi than enough. we have wewe and wewe have us.

Love,
SG! <3
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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:) thanks... i luv wewe guys
StReNgThHoPe posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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Heck, That's what we are for! GUMMIE BEARS!!!!!
SongGirl50701 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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