Chapter 1: Prologue
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. No copyright infringement intended.
Felicity looked down at her seventeen mwaka old daughter’s tear stained face, her own moyo breaking. She knew first hand the agonies of love, but how was she to explain that to a teenager? How do wewe tell someone, there is no such thing as a fairytale upendo story, with out completely destroying any hope that they may have left? wewe see, Felicity thought…
When wewe are young, it was okay to believe in fairy tales…that ndoto of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming, ngome on a hill, that gave wewe hope. Yes, those were the days, when it was simple…lying in kitanda at night, closing your eyes, and dreaming of the day, when all your inexplicable dreams would come true. wewe had absolute and utter, needless faith, back then. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, your very own Prince Charming, they were so close wewe could almost taste them. Unfortunately, we all grow up, and whether its like it was for me at 19, when I got my first taste of heartache, au at 17 like my daughter Zoë is realizing now…one siku wewe open your eyes and the fairy tale seems to have vanished.
When that happens, most people turn to the things and people they can trust, which is why I am sitting here on my daughters kitanda right now at 2 o’ clock in the morning, combing through her hair with my fingers, as she sobs, trying to think of the right thing to say. But there is no right thing, because it’s not easy to let go of that fairy tale, I sure didn’t at her age, no one does it gently, and many never do.
Instead of letting go, we turn to that tiny morsel of hope, au faith. We hold on to the conviction that one day, if we’ve been good enough, au waited just long enough, we will open our eyes and it will be as though nothing bad ever happened, like the hurt wasn’t actually ever there, and the pages of the tale never stopped turning.
But any good woman knows… that doesn’t happen. Here’s the problem. From an early age, we women are set on auto-pilot waiting for that fairy tale to come to us, when in reality the only true fairy tales, if wewe want to call them that, are created within. We set these ridiculous standards, and build up walls and boundaries, in sight of finding the perfect lover, when really we should be focused on creating the perfect love. When things get messy, and disappointing …we get to the point where we feel like we are just walking along, wasting our time, and we give up…we lose our faith in love.
Fortunately, faith is a resilient little thing, and sooner au later, someone au something will come around, when wewe least expect it, and hand wewe your faith back, giving wewe the courage to fight again. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, restore you…and once in a while people may even take your breath away. Then you’ll realize that the fairy tale wewe imagined, when wewe were young, isn’t as amazing as wewe had once thought. wewe will learn to appreciate real love, the kind without the ngome and white horse to wingu your judgment.
It is hard to find a upendo like that, and it doesn’t often come around. wewe might have to bite into a couple rotten apples, and there will probably be a couple of very tasty ones along the way to distract you, but when that special someone does come along, wewe know it. You’ll get butterflies no matter how many times wewe see them, you’ll force yourself to enjoy the awful muziki they play, even let them eat your last spoonful of ice-cream, and it’ll all be worth it. Why? Because they are worth it, and to be with them is better than any of that.
So the point is, true upendo trumps any ndoto wewe may have had when wewe were young, but the road to true love, and true happiness is often bumpy. That is how wewe weave through the ordinary, the pretentious, and make it to the extraordinary. The one left standing, kwa your side, when it’s all alisema and done, that is your real prince charming…your soul mate.
My daughter though, she doesn’t need to know all that just yet. She’ll live and learn the same way we all do. So when she just alisema to me, “Mom, it hurts so bad, when does the pain go away?” This is the answer I gave her:
“I dunno, sweetie. It’s a long road, it’s not fun, and it’s not fair. Trust me…I wish I could take the pain away, but I can’t. What I can tell you, what I will tell you, is what I believe in…what helped me along the way. And, wewe know what that is? Fate; it’s knowing that everything happens for a reason, and believing that one siku it will all make sense.”
kwa the look on her face, as her tears slowly lessened, and she turned to embrace me, I knew she had turned the corner, and I was zaidi than relieved. I had gotten my baby through her first real broken heart. So when she turned to me and asked, “how did wewe get so good at this?” I just smiled and laughed, doing my best to soak in that moment. After all, it isn’t often that wewe here those words, especially coming from your teenage daughter.
“I lived it, just like everyone else does, and wewe will too…” I told her.
“Well, how did wewe know that dad was the one?”
I laughed again. What a road her father and I traveled to get to each other! It’s a miracle we made it! I answered the best I could…
“Well, if you’d ask your Uncle Lucas, he would tell wewe that I knew all along…that there was a moment when everything changed. I would say, wewe can’t know whom that person is, the person who will ultimately become your soul mate…but wewe can take a chance on someone and follow your moyo when it feels right. Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can pretty much change your life forever. I didn’t know it then, but I guess wewe could say that the moment when everything changed, was when I took a chance on your dad...it just took both of us a long time to realize that.
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. No copyright infringement intended.
Felicity looked down at her seventeen mwaka old daughter’s tear stained face, her own moyo breaking. She knew first hand the agonies of love, but how was she to explain that to a teenager? How do wewe tell someone, there is no such thing as a fairytale upendo story, with out completely destroying any hope that they may have left? wewe see, Felicity thought…
When wewe are young, it was okay to believe in fairy tales…that ndoto of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming, ngome on a hill, that gave wewe hope. Yes, those were the days, when it was simple…lying in kitanda at night, closing your eyes, and dreaming of the day, when all your inexplicable dreams would come true. wewe had absolute and utter, needless faith, back then. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, your very own Prince Charming, they were so close wewe could almost taste them. Unfortunately, we all grow up, and whether its like it was for me at 19, when I got my first taste of heartache, au at 17 like my daughter Zoë is realizing now…one siku wewe open your eyes and the fairy tale seems to have vanished.
When that happens, most people turn to the things and people they can trust, which is why I am sitting here on my daughters kitanda right now at 2 o’ clock in the morning, combing through her hair with my fingers, as she sobs, trying to think of the right thing to say. But there is no right thing, because it’s not easy to let go of that fairy tale, I sure didn’t at her age, no one does it gently, and many never do.
Instead of letting go, we turn to that tiny morsel of hope, au faith. We hold on to the conviction that one day, if we’ve been good enough, au waited just long enough, we will open our eyes and it will be as though nothing bad ever happened, like the hurt wasn’t actually ever there, and the pages of the tale never stopped turning.
But any good woman knows… that doesn’t happen. Here’s the problem. From an early age, we women are set on auto-pilot waiting for that fairy tale to come to us, when in reality the only true fairy tales, if wewe want to call them that, are created within. We set these ridiculous standards, and build up walls and boundaries, in sight of finding the perfect lover, when really we should be focused on creating the perfect love. When things get messy, and disappointing …we get to the point where we feel like we are just walking along, wasting our time, and we give up…we lose our faith in love.
Fortunately, faith is a resilient little thing, and sooner au later, someone au something will come around, when wewe least expect it, and hand wewe your faith back, giving wewe the courage to fight again. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, restore you…and once in a while people may even take your breath away. Then you’ll realize that the fairy tale wewe imagined, when wewe were young, isn’t as amazing as wewe had once thought. wewe will learn to appreciate real love, the kind without the ngome and white horse to wingu your judgment.
It is hard to find a upendo like that, and it doesn’t often come around. wewe might have to bite into a couple rotten apples, and there will probably be a couple of very tasty ones along the way to distract you, but when that special someone does come along, wewe know it. You’ll get butterflies no matter how many times wewe see them, you’ll force yourself to enjoy the awful muziki they play, even let them eat your last spoonful of ice-cream, and it’ll all be worth it. Why? Because they are worth it, and to be with them is better than any of that.
So the point is, true upendo trumps any ndoto wewe may have had when wewe were young, but the road to true love, and true happiness is often bumpy. That is how wewe weave through the ordinary, the pretentious, and make it to the extraordinary. The one left standing, kwa your side, when it’s all alisema and done, that is your real prince charming…your soul mate.
My daughter though, she doesn’t need to know all that just yet. She’ll live and learn the same way we all do. So when she just alisema to me, “Mom, it hurts so bad, when does the pain go away?” This is the answer I gave her:
“I dunno, sweetie. It’s a long road, it’s not fun, and it’s not fair. Trust me…I wish I could take the pain away, but I can’t. What I can tell you, what I will tell you, is what I believe in…what helped me along the way. And, wewe know what that is? Fate; it’s knowing that everything happens for a reason, and believing that one siku it will all make sense.”
kwa the look on her face, as her tears slowly lessened, and she turned to embrace me, I knew she had turned the corner, and I was zaidi than relieved. I had gotten my baby through her first real broken heart. So when she turned to me and asked, “how did wewe get so good at this?” I just smiled and laughed, doing my best to soak in that moment. After all, it isn’t often that wewe here those words, especially coming from your teenage daughter.
“I lived it, just like everyone else does, and wewe will too…” I told her.
“Well, how did wewe know that dad was the one?”
I laughed again. What a road her father and I traveled to get to each other! It’s a miracle we made it! I answered the best I could…
“Well, if you’d ask your Uncle Lucas, he would tell wewe that I knew all along…that there was a moment when everything changed. I would say, wewe can’t know whom that person is, the person who will ultimately become your soul mate…but wewe can take a chance on someone and follow your moyo when it feels right. Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can pretty much change your life forever. I didn’t know it then, but I guess wewe could say that the moment when everything changed, was when I took a chance on your dad...it just took both of us a long time to realize that.