A Different Kind of Damsel: One Fan’s Journey Toward Liking Sansa Stark 

I met George R.R. Martin once. Back in 2011, I was at Professor Thom’s Bar in New York City, settling in for a new episode of

with a beer and a plate of waffle fries. Before the episode started, a small group walked in and grabbed the couches next to mine. At the center of the group was a bearded man in overalls.

. Originally, I wanted to go into the show cold without any knowledge of the source material and judge it for what it was, but after Jaime Lannister threw Bran out that tower window, I needed to know what was coming. Looking over at the couch next to me, the bearded man in overalls looked familiar. I flipped to the back of the book to the author’s photograph, and I tried to subtly motion to my husband between my book and the very real George R.R. Martin sitting on the couch next to me. His eyes widened, and we both gave each other a look that said, “Stay cool, don’t panic…it’s just George R.R. Martin, sitting on the couch next to us.”

We managed to hold it together as patrons came over to shake his hand and bartenders brought him free drinks, and throughout the episode, he laughed and cheered along with the rest of the crowd, seemingly pleased with the show’s adaptation of his work. After the episode was over, I finally worked up the courage to say hello and ask him for an autograph. He graciously signed my book, and I told him that I loved the character of Arya because she reminded me of my sister. He chuckled and suggested that if my sister is Arya, perhaps I am the Sansa of the family. My face turned red, and I insisted that no, I am nothing like Sansa. Sansa is a weak, silly, empty-headed girl more obsessed with manners and marrying Joffrey. Heaven forbid.

, and my opinion of Sansa has changed enormously. My opinion of women in fantasy has changed too, and I now realize why I once found it so much easier to love Arya than to love Sansa.

At first glance, the answer seems simple. Arya is clever, and often a good judge of character—she immediately pegs Joffrey as an evil, spoiled brat, and rightly so. Despite only having a few fighting lessons, she holds onto everything that she learned from Syrio, and after she travels to Braavos, she becomes far more deadly than even she could have imagined. Everyone wants her on their team, no matter what the game. If Westeros was picking kickball teams, Arya definitely wouldn’t be the last one chosen.

Arya fits the hero type that I grew up reading about in fantasy books. She is a woman of action. When everything goes to hell in King’s Landing, she grabs her sword and gets out of there as fast as her legs can carry her. She travels in disguise and survives every trial she encounters. She hangs out with the Hound for a good part of

, and he’s a dangerous alcoholic who killed a kid and used to work for the Lannisters. In the otherwise dark and desperate world of Westeros, Arya is a bit of a wish fulfillment fantasy for young girls.

My biggest mistake regarding Sansa was mistaking her decisions as indicative of passivity or inaction. Her actions leading up to the death of her father were foolish, but after Ned Stark’s beheading, both Sansa and Arya make choices calculated to ensure their own survival. Arya might seem braver to grab her sword and escape Kings Landing, but she does it because she knows she cannot survive if she stays. Her temper is too quick. She doesn’t have Sansa’s patience or the ability to guard her emotions, or at least not yet. If she had stayed, Arya would have met a bloody death like her father. She would have run in recklessly just like she tried to do at the Twins and the Red Wedding, and even if she managed to take a soldier or two with her, it would have been a waste of her life.

On the other hand, Sansa stays because she knows she cannot survive on the streets of Kings Landing or on her own in the wilderness. But unlike Arya, she can survive in among the upper crust of the royal city. Though she is closely guarded by the Lannisters, she probably could have escaped if she wanted to, but Sansa is smart enough to know that leaving Kings Landing isn’t enough. If she left, mercenaries would hunt her down and return her to Cersei for a reward.

Rather than run in with sword swinging, Sansa takes an approach more in line with the ones followed by Varys or Petyr Baelish. She withdraws and makes herself seem demure and unthreatening. Readers probably mistake this choice for passivity because Sansa is a beautiful young girl, which makes it easy to assume that she is a helpless maiden awaiting rescue. I completely disagree. Sansa makes Cersei believe that she has won so that Cersei will turn her attention elsewhere and leave her alone, and then she can plan a real escape through an advantageous marriage. It is a plan, one that ultimately fails, but it’s a plan nonetheless. Her betrothal to Tyrion isn’t only about ending his womanizing or binding their houses together. Their marriage is also intended to kill Sansa’s last hope of leaving. I don’t think Sansa would ever have taken Dontos’ escape plan seriously if Cersei had not married Sansa off to Tyrion.

Sansa is not a fighter like Arya, which makes it harder for readers to connect with her journey, but I believe it is completely intentional that Sansa is with Petyr while Arya is training in Braavos. Both of them have the chance to hone their natural talents from a true master. Under the tutelage of the Faceless Men, Arya is becoming a deadly assassin, and if Sansa watches and learns from Littlefinger, she could become a master manipulator. Petyr overcame his low birth and rose to be Master of Coin. If there is anyone in the kingdom who could help Sansa rise above her circumstances and end up on top, or at least alive, by the end of it all, it’s him.

I admire Sansa for being a survivor and for having the potential to surprise everyone in Westeros. Now when I look back on the night that I met George R.R. Martin, I’m no longer embarrassed by his suggestion that was a Sansa, because I know that being a Sansa doesn’t make a person weak. In a book series that continually subverts fantasy tropes and character types, Sansa is perhaps Martin’s best hat trick of all, hiding a cunning politician-in-training underneath a damsel in distress.

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I was always a fan of Sansa! I just wanted her to open her eyes and take a good look at the people around her. Once she did in the first season and at the end of the first book, she was my girl! She didn’t need to come down the stairs in that feather gown to get me to like her. All she had to do was use her eyes, ears and brain!

In the words of Petyr Baelish, and the only one who puts any value on her as a person and not just a walking inheritance. “She is a girl with no learning and scattered wits.” You actually try to describe her as if she actively/decidedly makes decisions leading to her being in the situation she finds herself in. It couldn’t be further from her reality. The only “move” that she took upon herself was to betray her father which lead to his death. As well as igniting the Northern rebellion which led to the death of the rest of her family (as far as she knows). Every decision that she has made on her own has led to death and disaster. Most of what she does is forced or influenced by others. There are only two instances up until ADWD that this is not the case. The first is the aforementioned and the second was when she betrays her sister, which leads to Lady being killed. Every other choice or move she makes in the story is either forced or heavily influenced by others.

They do give her a “slightly” better image in the show as appose to the books. The scene with Bronze Yohn Royce and the others in the Vale is actually chalked up to her own quick thinking. In the book however, the situation is changed and she was heavily coached by Petyr. As to leave her to her own devices would have surely been disastrous once again. Her betrayal of Ned is also downplayed in the show.

The only growth that she has shown so far as a character is her being able to use her sex appeal to influence men. This is hinted to at the end of S4 and shown in the new WoW Alayne chapter. This is likely due to the “lessons” given to her by Cersei and Margaery in King’s Landing.

Love this article! Although, I’ve loved Sansa since the beginning and was able to relate myself more to her than Arya. Her character growth as been one of the best. She has grown into such a strong character and most people don’t see that because she doesn’t hold a sword. There is a reason she has survived this long. “Courtesy is a lady’s armor” that is Sansa’s armor, that is how she has survived. I love that it’s such a different view from other characters like Arya and Brienne, who know how to fight. Sansa has so much potential into becoming a powerful character, because of those she’s learned from. I can’t wait to see where this all leads to, because Sansa has been slowly setting up to be in some sort of power. Sansa Stark is a fantastic character, it’s just a shame most people can’t see that and are stuck on the idea of strong women characters = women who can hold a sword and not hold back on what they think.

Sansa has been one of my favourite characters since A Clash Of Kings. She has had an incredible amount of character development over the course of the series and looks set to really come into her own in book 6. She might be a more subtle character in how she plays the game, but she plays it well. Sansa has more Tully smarts about her than Stark boldness. Arya seems to be on a downward spiral based on the path her life is going down. Can not see a happy ending for her, been through too much to have a happy peaceful life.

Completely agree with the sentiments in a beautifully written article. Personally, I’ve never understood how or why show viewers have always dismissed Sansa as a hopeless, whining romantic until the moment she revealed herself with a delicious Machiavellian flourish when Baelish was seriously up against the hostility of the Vale nobles. Followed, of course, by the apotheosis of her ‘maleficent’ Sansa reveal as she came down those stairs.

Being so completely trapped at court left her with few options other than to withdraw into herself, make no enemies and silently bear her cruel treatment in order to survive. She got lucky with Baelish rescuing her when he did. Difficult to see how she could have escaped alone. Yet being a proud Stark and a resourceful Tully, I’m really looking forward to seeing how she grasps the nettle under Baelish’s tutelage and takes control of her destiny.

Final word must go to an outstanding performance by Sophie Turner. I just love her pure English diction.

Err…. Book!Arya keeps her temper under control through her stay at Harrenhall (and at any point of her captivity) while Sansa mocked Joffrey (“maybe Robb will bring me your head”) and was about to throw him of the battlements…

Also, it’s not that Sansa chose to stay. Arya left because she knew a way out and had an adult who urged her to run. Book!Sansa was kept in a locked room with Lannisters guards outside the door through Cersei’s counter-coup while Show!Sansa was told to run and hide in her room by a Septa (who’s anything but someone knowledgeable about escaping battles).

Book!Sansa believed there was a chance the (first) meeting with Dontos was a trap and would cause her to receive yet another beating, yet she grabbed a knife and sneaked to Godswood because she chose to escape the Red Keep. As for not escaping with the Hound, the show softens the scene. In the books, he’s drunk, he puts a knife to her neck and threatens to kill her. No wonder she didn’t run with him.

Also, while often beaten, Sansa’s life wasn’t in jeopardy at the Red Keep because if the Lannisters had her killed, Robb would have killed Jaime in retaliation

Arya is highly overrated. A fantasy cliche character meant to appeal to low-brow people.

Sansa has and alway will be my favorite character. Sansa is a girl and it’s fine for a girl to follow a traditionally feminine path, wherher that be in Westeroes or not. Sansa is not Arya and because of that the majority of fans labeled her weak when in reality Sansa is just as strong as Arya. They’ve both seen and been through equally terible things and are both now at a point where they are rising above it and turning into strong, powerful women.

In my opinion, Sansa is going to end up on the iron throne or ruling as Queen of the North.

I thought this page was supposed to have a spoiler policy for the show? It’s not clear yet who Arya is off to meet in Braavos.

Why do Sansa stans STILL rely on that completely untrue “Arya would have died in Sansa’s place” argument? Why can’t a Sansa defense or a positive opinion piece on her exist that doesn’t mischaracterize Arya in order to make her look better?

There is no reason Arya wouldn’t have survived in King’s Landing if she had been caught. She proved that she can control her emotions and her temper while she was escaping in the first place. If she was as irrational and emotionally driven as the author of this column seems to think, she never would have made it out of the Red Keep. She also wouldn’t have survived in Harrenhal where she was a slave forced to serve the men who were fighting her brother and terrorizing the countryside. Her ability to control herself was impressive considering how quickly she would have been murdered without a thought had she stepped out of line.

Sansa stans. Please. Please for your own sakes, start supporting Sansa based on her own merits and not based on how horribly you can manage to misunderstand Arya.

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