One of my favorite that Chris RT'd was:

There is no 'ctrl' button on Sue Sylvester's computer. Sue Sylvester is always in control.

Some of my favorites were:

Lord Voldemort refers to Sue Sylvester as "she who must not be named."

Sue Sylvester's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Sue Sylvester.

Sue Sylvester does not go 'hunting', because that terminology implies failure. Sue Sylvester goes killing.

They once made a Sue Sylvester toilet paper, but there was a problem - It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Sue Sylvester bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

Sue Sylvester doesn't mow her lawn. She just stands out in her yard, and dares her grass to grow.

Sue Sylvester would have never let Taylor Swift finish.

If you have 5 dollars, and Sue Sylvester has 5 dollars, Sue Sylvester has more money than you.

Apple pays Sue Sylvester $1.29 every time she listens to a song.

Sue Sylvester can eat just one Lays potato chip.

Sue Sylvester can kill two stones with one bird.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Sue Sylvester.

Sue Sylvester can slam a revolving door.

Crop circles are Sue Sylvester's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Sue Sylvester invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

Sue Sylvester can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Sue Sylvester and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Sue Sylvester played in second grade.

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Sue Sylvester walks.

Sue Sylvester sheds her skin twice a year.

Sue Sylvester's house has no doors, only walls that she walks through.

Sue Sylvester CAN believe it's not butter.

When an episode of Glee was aired in France, the French surrendered to Sue Sylvester, just to be on the safe side.

Sue Sylvester always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

Sue Sylvester has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. She won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades, and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Sue Sylvester grinds her coffee with her teeth and boils the water with her own rage.

It takes Sue Sylvester 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

hahahahaha theyre AWESOME!! they should create more Glee based ones!! if i think of any, i'll share them :)

My new favorite: When God said "let there be light", Sue Sylvester said, "Say please." =D

Sue Sylvester's tears cure cancer. Too bad she has never cried.

Sue Sylvester has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Sue Sylvester, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Sue Sylvester's iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cable.

Sue Sylvester is what Willis was talking about.

Sue Sylvester sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Sue Sylvester and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

When Sue Sylvester had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Sue Sylvester once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Sue Sylvester. Sue showed the bear her fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

Sue Sylvester sleeps with a night light. Not because Sue Sylvester is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Sue Sylvester.

Sue Sylvester can touch MC Hammer.

Sue Sylvester once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. And got one.

Sue Sylvester frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never her own.

There is no such thing as tornadoes. Sue Sylvester just hates trailer parks.

Sue Sylvester doesn't worry about changing her clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Sue Sylvester tells it to.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, then what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Sue Sylvester.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are 3 sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Sue Sylvester.

A duck’s quack does not echo. Sue Sylvester is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why she will simply stare at you, grimly.

Sue Sylvester doesn't believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list. And the Glee sign-up sheet.

If Superman and the Flash were to race to the end of the world, you know who would win? Sue Sylvester.

Sue Sylvester invented water.

Sue Sylvester does not use Spell Check. If Sue Sylvester happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Sue Sylvester isn't lactose intolerant. She just doesn't put up with any of lactose's crap.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Sue Sylvester.

Helen Keller's favorite color is Sue Sylvester.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have pissed off Sue Sylvester.

Sue Sylvester won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. She simply beat the living crap out of everything that was thrown at her, and the game forfeited.

Sue Sylvester got a perfect score on her SAT's, simply by writing 'Sue Sylvester' for every answer.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Sue Sylvester to die before they attack.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Sue Sylvester. It was more "humane".

Sue Sylvester doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. Hers have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they kick the crap out of viruses. That's why Sue Sylvester never gets ill.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Sue Sylvester has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Sue Sylvester.

Sue Sylvester doe not "style" her hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

These are my favorites:

Sue Sylvester sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Sue Sylvester and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Sue Sylvester and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Sue Sylvester's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Sue Sylvester.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Sue Sylvester's computer. Sue Sylvester is always in control.

(HP themed ones, xDD)

Sue Sylvester pees Felix Felicis.
Sue Sylvester planted the Whomping Willow.
Sue Sylvester is labeled as "BAMF" on the Marauder's Map.
Sue Sylvester counted to infinity... twice.
Sue Sylvester uses Fiendfyre to light her cigarettes.
Sue Sylvester listens to Mandrake cries on her iPod for entertainment.
Thestrals can only see Sue Sylvester if they've seen someone die.
If you spell out "Sue Sylvester" in Scrabble, it's an automatic win.
Dumbledore's shriveled hand wasn't from a Horcrux. He shook hands with Sue Sylvester.
Even when Sue Sylvester doesn't pass Go, she still gets $200.
Merlin got an order of Sue Sylvester, third class.

Sue Sylvester critics Gordon Ramsy's resterant.