So this came to me really randomly but I'm actually quite proud of it, which is strange because usually I think my uandishi is awful. Anyway please leave a maoni and tell me if wewe like it.
Serena looked into his eyes and saw the pain he was trying to hide. Despite his evident happiness watching Blair being crowned, Serena knew that he should be her king and in her moyo always would be, not Nate. Chuck had made her dreams come true in zaidi ways than he could have ever imagined.
He had been the one to make her smile, not Nate. To look at her with such pure adoration, not Nate. But above everything, he had been the one to fall so completely in upendo with her that no one else mattered, not Nate. Nate could never look at her the way Chuck always did. She was all he ever saw, even though he tried with all the moyo only she knew he had not to see her; when he closed his eyes there was nothing but her.
The worst thing he'd ever done. The darkest thought he'd ever had. She would have stood kwa him through everything; because she loved him. But he had pushed her away. He had needed her so much, but he was scared. Scared that he loved her too much for it to be salama for either of them. Scared that he would break her heart, again. Scared that he could never be enough to make her happy.
"Well that's too bad" - it had been the biggest mistake of his life. He had known it the moment he stepped into that limo; but now, watching her dancing in Nate's arms once again, zaidi than ever he knew that he needed her. Yet he knew that after everything he had done he couldn't have her. So he turned away from Dan and Serena and walked out of the ballroom; without so much as a fleeting glance at the upendo of his life. After all how many times could one moyo break and still be expected to keep beating?
Everytime he saw her he had to catch his breath, his moyo skipped a beat and the constand butterflies overwhelmed his stomach. The fluttering feeling had not gone away and never would, just gradually increased ever since that night at Victrola. And sitting in the back of his limo on his way nyumbani only added to the memories already flooding his mind.
Perfect. She always was, in his eyes. No matter what happened she would always be his perfect Blair Waldorf. Not the perfect Blair she wanted everyone to see; but the real Blair. The sensitive, sexy, seductive, perfect for him Blair Waldorf.
He wanted her to be happy even if it wasn't with him, that's why he told her it was all a game, that's why he couldn't say those three words, eight letters. Not because he didn't mean them with every fibre of his being, but because he wanted her to have the life she so longed for and deserved. The truth was he would give everything to be the person who gave her all she ever wanted. But he never thought he was enough, not for her. She deserved so much zaidi than him.
Maybe in the future he wouldn't be just her excrutiating pleasure, maybe he would be her everything. He told himself he couldn't hope for that; not when that hope could destroy him if it came to nothing. But he was always powerless before any idea of Blair. As long as she was happy that was all that mattered. Yet he would always be there, waiting, hoping that one siku she would want him like he wanted her. Not Nate. And he would look her in those deep brown beautiful eyes and say those three words, eight letters he had been longing to say.
He would say them with all the feeling he never thought he would have; and finally he would be whole again, with her. After too long feeling empty without her. Together, like it should be because they were inevitable. All he had to do was wait and he would wait a lifetime if it meant he could kiss her one last time.
Just then a knock on his bedroom door woke him from his impossible hopes of Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck, holding hands, going to the movies, forever. Before he could reach the door in walked his biggest weakness, his one true desire, his perfect Blair Waldorf.
"Nate and I... he's not you". She looked to the floor. Silence. And with a deep breath she raised her head; looked into her eyes, with tears overflowing from her own.
"Chuck" his moyo stopped like every other time she uttered his name. Another excrutiating silence as he waited to hear that impeccable voice once more.
"Tell me... that wewe upendo me"
His moyo exploded with hopes that were no longer impossible and for the first time he did as she asked.
Impossible never stood a chance. Impossible was nothing in the face of a upendo like theirs.