The plain text is a copy/past of link.
The bold text is my own add ins to relate the situations to Bella and Edward
upendo is a tricky emotion. There are some things that feel like upendo but they are much too superficial to be the real thing. Real upendo takes time and doesn't happen overnight. Here are three things that people often confuse for love.
I don’t personally believe that upendo can really be defined kwa anyone, but oh well. People like to try new things.
Lust A.k.a, Twilight
Lust is the feeling that is often mistaken for upendo at first sight. Lust is an intense and sudden attraction to somebody wewe hardly know. It is mistaken for upendo because the attraction is so strong.
This sounds a lot like Bella and Edward, right?
Lust can feel like upendo because the feelings of attraction are strong and all-consuming. The emotions stirred up kwa lust can feel very real but they are based on a fantasy. To upendo somebody wewe must know them well but many people fall in lust while they are still strangers. What people in lust fall for is a ndoto of what might be and reality can get Lost in the excitement.
I admit, this sounds a LOT like Bella, in the beginning
Overwhelmed kwa physical attraction people in lust can't keep their hands off of each other. They think about each other constantly and talk about one another all the time. Lust is a happy feeling brought on kwa passionate attraction. If wewe are inexperienced in matters of the moyo it is very easy to mistake all that passion for love.
Yes, Bella grabbed Edward a lot. Bella never really talked about Edward with anyone besides Edward. Both of them are inexperienced at matters of the heart
Lust differs from upendo like night differs from day. Lust happens in the early phase of a relationship when people don’t yet know each other. Lust is based on a fantasy, and the ndoto and reality don’t always mesh up. This is where lust runs out of steam.
Although physical attraction is definitely a key ingredient in any romantic relationship, upendo is zaidi than just a physical longing. If a relationship is all about physical attraction it is based on lust. Really loving another person takes time and it can't be based on physical attraction alone.
Obsession a.k.a, New Moon
Obsessions are often mistaken for upendo because people rationalize the crazy feelings they are having. They assume that it must be upendo if the other person is always on their mind. Obsession is similar to lust but it is much zaidi misleading and destructive. While lust is often fleeting, fading as two people come to know each other better, obsession sticks around.
Before anyone says that Bella and Edward never got to know each other before this stage, please allow me to direct wewe link. You’ll need to scroll a little further than halfway down the page to see Edward asking Bella about every detail of her life as a way to get to know her. This was before Edward alisema he loved her, but after Bella claimed to be irrevocably in love, unfortunately.
The zaidi time and effort invested in an unhealthy obsession the zaidi intense the obsession can become. People in an obsessed state have a one track mind where the other person is concerned and they often lose touch with who they are as an individual. This loss of individuality creates a vicious mduara, duara of behavior where the obsessed person grows zaidi and zaidi dependent on the other person to bolster their sense of self.
This pretty much speaks for itself. Bella running off with strange bikers, reckless cliff diving, etc
Even unrequited love, upendo that is not returned, can become an overwhelming obsession. When one person believes they are in a relationship that doesn't really exist, au when one person is zaidi invested in an existing relationship than the other, the foundation for an obsession has been laid.
One could argue that Bella was in an unrequited relationship because Edward wasn’t actively present at a certain point
Real upendo is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating. If wewe feel like wewe have Lost yourself, if wewe are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if wewe find yourself making all decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person wewe could be dealing with obsession.
Also, keep in mind the Mormon belief that a partner is pretty much required.
Rebounding A.k.a, Jacob
A rebound is a relationship that starts up very quickly after another relationship has ended. Rebounds are rarely based on upendo but are really a way of alleviating the loneliness people feel when a relationship ends.
Bella uses Jacob as a distraction from her obsessive mentality.
Rebounding can feel like upendo for the simple reason that the people involved want to be in love. They are used to the security of being in upendo and zaidi than anything else they want to feel that security again. They convince themselves that they are in upendo when they are actually missing the safety and comfort of the relationship they left behind.
This explains all the confusing emotions. Bella turned to Jacob for the security. Jacob was misled kwa her intentions.
If an old relationship keeps interfering with the progress of a new relationship it could mean that the relationship is a rebound. When somebody is on the rebound they are not entirely over their awali relationship. They may still be trying to work out unresolved issues from that relationship. Rebound relationships may feel like upendo but they are still impacted kwa unsettled feelings from the past.
Bella never got over Edward. It’s expected to believe that if she had gotten over him, au if Edward had never been in the picture at all, there would have been something zaidi between Bella and Jacob.
I believe that from this point on, Edward and Bella were indeed in love. Edward, I believe to have been in upendo earlier on. Bello jumped the gun and confused her lust with love, but it eventually caught up with her and things evened out.
I believe that real upendo cannot happen without a sense of obsession to keep wewe loyal. Lust is necessary to keep wewe interested, I guess, but I don't find it necessary. I don't see anything wrong with it either.
In conclusion, there's no denying the initial lust. Bella and Edward took the steps usually taken in forming a proper romantic relationship.
I will have zaidi on this as I continue rereading the series.
The bold text is my own add ins to relate the situations to Bella and Edward
upendo is a tricky emotion. There are some things that feel like upendo but they are much too superficial to be the real thing. Real upendo takes time and doesn't happen overnight. Here are three things that people often confuse for love.
I don’t personally believe that upendo can really be defined kwa anyone, but oh well. People like to try new things.
Lust A.k.a, Twilight
Lust is the feeling that is often mistaken for upendo at first sight. Lust is an intense and sudden attraction to somebody wewe hardly know. It is mistaken for upendo because the attraction is so strong.
This sounds a lot like Bella and Edward, right?
Lust can feel like upendo because the feelings of attraction are strong and all-consuming. The emotions stirred up kwa lust can feel very real but they are based on a fantasy. To upendo somebody wewe must know them well but many people fall in lust while they are still strangers. What people in lust fall for is a ndoto of what might be and reality can get Lost in the excitement.
I admit, this sounds a LOT like Bella, in the beginning
Overwhelmed kwa physical attraction people in lust can't keep their hands off of each other. They think about each other constantly and talk about one another all the time. Lust is a happy feeling brought on kwa passionate attraction. If wewe are inexperienced in matters of the moyo it is very easy to mistake all that passion for love.
Yes, Bella grabbed Edward a lot. Bella never really talked about Edward with anyone besides Edward. Both of them are inexperienced at matters of the heart
Lust differs from upendo like night differs from day. Lust happens in the early phase of a relationship when people don’t yet know each other. Lust is based on a fantasy, and the ndoto and reality don’t always mesh up. This is where lust runs out of steam.
Although physical attraction is definitely a key ingredient in any romantic relationship, upendo is zaidi than just a physical longing. If a relationship is all about physical attraction it is based on lust. Really loving another person takes time and it can't be based on physical attraction alone.
Obsession a.k.a, New Moon
Obsessions are often mistaken for upendo because people rationalize the crazy feelings they are having. They assume that it must be upendo if the other person is always on their mind. Obsession is similar to lust but it is much zaidi misleading and destructive. While lust is often fleeting, fading as two people come to know each other better, obsession sticks around.
Before anyone says that Bella and Edward never got to know each other before this stage, please allow me to direct wewe link. You’ll need to scroll a little further than halfway down the page to see Edward asking Bella about every detail of her life as a way to get to know her. This was before Edward alisema he loved her, but after Bella claimed to be irrevocably in love, unfortunately.
The zaidi time and effort invested in an unhealthy obsession the zaidi intense the obsession can become. People in an obsessed state have a one track mind where the other person is concerned and they often lose touch with who they are as an individual. This loss of individuality creates a vicious mduara, duara of behavior where the obsessed person grows zaidi and zaidi dependent on the other person to bolster their sense of self.
This pretty much speaks for itself. Bella running off with strange bikers, reckless cliff diving, etc
Even unrequited love, upendo that is not returned, can become an overwhelming obsession. When one person believes they are in a relationship that doesn't really exist, au when one person is zaidi invested in an existing relationship than the other, the foundation for an obsession has been laid.
One could argue that Bella was in an unrequited relationship because Edward wasn’t actively present at a certain point
Real upendo is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating. If wewe feel like wewe have Lost yourself, if wewe are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if wewe find yourself making all decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person wewe could be dealing with obsession.
Also, keep in mind the Mormon belief that a partner is pretty much required.
Rebounding A.k.a, Jacob
A rebound is a relationship that starts up very quickly after another relationship has ended. Rebounds are rarely based on upendo but are really a way of alleviating the loneliness people feel when a relationship ends.
Bella uses Jacob as a distraction from her obsessive mentality.
Rebounding can feel like upendo for the simple reason that the people involved want to be in love. They are used to the security of being in upendo and zaidi than anything else they want to feel that security again. They convince themselves that they are in upendo when they are actually missing the safety and comfort of the relationship they left behind.
This explains all the confusing emotions. Bella turned to Jacob for the security. Jacob was misled kwa her intentions.
If an old relationship keeps interfering with the progress of a new relationship it could mean that the relationship is a rebound. When somebody is on the rebound they are not entirely over their awali relationship. They may still be trying to work out unresolved issues from that relationship. Rebound relationships may feel like upendo but they are still impacted kwa unsettled feelings from the past.
Bella never got over Edward. It’s expected to believe that if she had gotten over him, au if Edward had never been in the picture at all, there would have been something zaidi between Bella and Jacob.
I believe that from this point on, Edward and Bella were indeed in love. Edward, I believe to have been in upendo earlier on. Bello jumped the gun and confused her lust with love, but it eventually caught up with her and things evened out.
I believe that real upendo cannot happen without a sense of obsession to keep wewe loyal. Lust is necessary to keep wewe interested, I guess, but I don't find it necessary. I don't see anything wrong with it either.
In conclusion, there's no denying the initial lust. Bella and Edward took the steps usually taken in forming a proper romantic relationship.
I will have zaidi on this as I continue rereading the series.