Edward Tattoo Fail

Okay, so HP and Twilight are good vitabu and movies. But, in order to make money, companies have made some rather.....dumb (or as I say, "Kooky," because it sounds better) products.
I'm not talking about the companion vitabu au the HP wands that actually shoot out a fog patronus at the tap of a button. The ones that I will be discussing will be listed below. I will tell the name of the project, 1-10 on the "Kookiness" (nice word, right?) scale (One meaning not kooky, 10 meaning it should be taken off the shelves). Then, I will give a brief description of the product and why it is so useless....

It was a gloomy night as the members of the Secret Society of Sparkly Vampire Slayers sat around the meza, jedwali and started the meeting.
"Okay, so our new target is a family of vampires." The leader said.
"Um...family?" Zenith, the female vampire slayer asked, straightening her long black hair.
"Yes," The leader said. "The vampire father, Edward, Bella, another vampire, and a recently born half-human half-vampire-"
Zenith leaned forward. "That's....impossible." Thunder boomed loudly outside, lightning lit up the dismal, gloomy, tomb of a room.
"What?"
"The half-human half-vampire. Impossible."
...