401. I may not try to find out if any of the owls are David Bowie in animagus form.
402. I will not ask people what their demons are.
403. I will not offer Professor McGonagall lasagne
.404. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another house.
405. I will not call pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room.
406. I will not poison first years. No matter how much I think they need it.
407. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses.
408. I will not tempt Ravenclaws with apples. I will also not say that the Slytherins have tempted other students with apples.
409. Frankenstein is not required kusoma for DADA classes.4
10. -Neither is Dracula.
411. I will not try to explain the laws of physics, not even for the sake of argument.
412. If I even look like I might sing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" I will be Obliviated.
413. Using the 'Petrificus Totalus' curse on Draco Malfoy and dumping him in the Gryffindor common room as a krisimasi present to the House means wewe should watch your back until June.
414. -Especially if the Weasley twins were staying over break.
415. -If Lee Jordan was there too, you're going to need a bodyguard.
416. I will not claim to be able to see the Thestrals if I cannot.
417. -I will not tell first years that "any true wizard au witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they"obviously aren't cut out for this school".
418. I am not to tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans taste better when one eats a wholehandful simultaneously.
419. I will not take out a life insurance policy on any Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
420.I will not attempt to repel Dementors kwa covering myself in chokoleti body paint.
421. I will not sneak up behind Draco and Harry while they are in their Staring Snarky Yelling Matches and yell, "SLASHSLASH SLASH! LET'S SEE SOME SLASH!"
422. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals
423. -Likewise, I will not tell First mwaka Muggle-borns that Pokemon battles are a part of the Care of Magical Creatures curriculum
424. I am not qualified to perform exorcisms on Hogwarts ghosts, and attempting to do so will merely offend them.
425. Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".
426. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
427. Telling Draco Malfoy to "make like a ferret, chororo-kaya and bounce" is always a bad idea.
428. The Crucible is not summer kusoma for History of Magic, and I should not tell First Years that it is.
429. "You might be a Pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.
430. I will not play the Darth Vader theme for Professor Snape.
431. - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
432. The bludger is not a bowling ball, and Professor Snape is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove otherwise.
433. If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
434. - I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
435. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror.
436. -Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a dhahabu thong is inappropriate.
437. -Especially if he's wearing it.
438. Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as "Bulk and Skull". "Dumb and Dumber" is equally inappropriate.
439. -I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
440. Comparing Draco Malfoy to Alex Krycek, Lindsay McDonald, Lex Luthor au any similar character is not an appropriatesubject for a Muggle Studies essay
.441. I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.
442. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle's first names are, respectively, Draco, Vincent and Gregory, not Larry, Darryl and Darryl.
443. The Slytherin Quidditch team should not be referred to as "Draco Malfoy and a moderate amount of cross-dressing".
444. -Even if that is an accurate description.
445. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.
446. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
447. I am not allowed to spank others.
448. -Even if Malfoy liked it.
449. No matter how vast the uses and entertaining the results, I will not indulge in fun with duct tape.
450. -This goes double for superglue.
451. I am not to dance naked in the great hall.
452. -Or on the grounds.4
53. -Generally, dancing naked is wrong.
454. Despite the appearances of the employees and the vaults, Gringotts is not the entrance to the Labyrinth.
455. -While in the company of goblins, I must not demand that I be taken to Jareth.
456. -Nor shall I tell them "You remind me of the babe.
457. Draco Malfoy no longer requires a nanny, nor does he need tucking in and "a bit of a cuddle" at bedtime.
458. - Not even if he insists that he does. And that his father has hired me to provide alisema service.
459. I am not to call Hogwarts "the most covert anti-Death Eater organization on the planet.
460. The Easter Bunny is not Jesus' Animagus form
.461. I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"
462. I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the sekunde cousin of Sauron.
463. I will not tell first years that they should build a mti house in the Whomping Willow.
464. I will not write forged letters nyumbani to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals theyare learning.
465. I will not ask Dobby why he doesn't look zaidi like Orlando Bloom.
466. - Nor will I ask him if he works for Santa Claus in the off-season
.467. I will not invite Professor Snape to a midnight inaonyesha of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show".
468. -The same goes double for Voldemort.
469. -Likewise, I will no longer be permitted to refer to Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange as Riff Raff and Magenta
.470. -Especially to their faces.
471. I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Lupin's office door.
472. Draco Malfoy does not appreciate being called 'Ferret Boy'
473. -Or 'The Blond Boy Wonder'
474. Hagrid's skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green Giant.'
475. Sending upendo notes to Professor Snape and signing them 'With Love, Draco Malfoy' is not appropriate.
476. -Neither is signing them with: 'I had a great time last night, Argus Filch.'.
477. Breaking into song during Potions class is not acceptable
.478. -Especially if the song is 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty'.
479. au 'I'm too sexy'.
480. I am not a 'ninja sent here kwa Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at mealtimes
.481. Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane'
.482. I must never sneak up behind Draco Malfoy and coo "How's my Blondie-Bear?"
483. Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong.
484. It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shati that says `All the good-looking ones die young` with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
485. I am not to tell Draco that I know all about his affair with Hermione Granger
.486. -Especially if it's not true.4
87. -I also cannot sell the story to Rita Skeeter.
488. -Or owl Lucius, Narcissa, au Bellatrix with the imaginary details
489. A ferret, chororo-kaya is not a proper krisimasi gift for Draco Malfoy.
490. -Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a ferret, chororo-kaya so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate, either.
491. -Giving Draco a bowl of ferret, chororo-kaya pellets with his chajio, chakula cha jioni was not an act of kindness, nor was it funny.
492. Voldemort is not my homeboy.
493. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.
494. Asking Harry how his parents are doing is just cruel.
495. Repeat: Draco and Harry are not secret lovers. Draco and Harry are not secret lovers.
496. Dont tell Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs that Lucius Malfoy goes around imba "Dance, Dark Lord, Dance".
497. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to get a room every time they start fighting.
498. -Nor will I say this to Harry and Snape.
499. -Or Harry and Draco.
500. Draco Malfoy does not smell almost subliminally of summer peaches.