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posted by fanofh2o
I will not skip to the headmaster's office imba 'we're off to see the wizard' ... lol

"I will not make jokes about Lupin and 'his time of the month'"

Knock knock.
Whos there?
wewe know.
wewe know who?
He's dead, wewe can say his name now.



How many deatheaters does it take to light up a wand?
One, but you'll have to find one with a hand.

How many snape's does it take to light up a wand?
WAIT! HE'S ABOUT TO INVENT THE NEWEST REMEDY FOR GREASY HAIR!

The Giant Squid is not an appropriate tarehe to the Yule Ball.

I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told wewe I was hardcore".

I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. (luv this one)

House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".

I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.

The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.

Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

I will not change the nenosiri to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".

Asking "How do wewe keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

When I get sent to the headmasters office, I will Not sing 'We're off to see the wizard!'

how many slytherins does it take to screw a light bulb
5. 1 to screw the light bulb and 4 to say with their fathers connection at the ministry they could screw it faster

Whats snapes boggart?
and he was like what?
And i alisema " A cauldron full of Shampoo!"

.-Knock, knock
-Who's there?
-Cornelius
-Cornelius who?
-Well, that's politics for you.........

Why did Potter kuvuka, msalaba the road.
No reason, but someone will write a book about it.

Why did Draco kuvuka, msalaba the road?
So he could swing his hips at Potter.

Why did Crabbe and Goyle kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Draco did.

Why did the Dark Lord kuvuka, msalaba the road?
Because Potter couldn't stop him.

Why did Death Eaters kuvuka, msalaba the road?
The Dark Lord ordered it.

Why did Trevor kuvuka, msalaba the road?
To get away from Longbottom.

Why did Dumbledore kuvuka, msalaba the road?
He was following the poisoned lemon, limau drops.

Why did Professor Snape stand in the road?
So no one could tell what side he was on.

Why do Slytherins kuvuka, msalaba the road twice?
Because they are doublecrossers.

How many Purebloods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What's a lightbulb?

How many witches does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the Wizarding World doesn't use lightbulbs.

How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb. One to rotate the room.

How many Muggles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. It is the only thing they are good for.

How many aurors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The Dark Lord already killed the ones with that kind of know-how.
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Source: theremembrall.org
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Source: theremembrall.org
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Source: www.mugglenet.com
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Source: mugglenet.com
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posted by DracoLuvsAstrid
Dropping The Babies Off
The darkness fell over the old city as another siku has passed. In the distance,beyond where no one could see,an old man in robes w talked down the crooked street. He seemed very busy and concentrated. When he was in the middle of the path,he took a silver machine about the size of a baseball. He clicked it several times,making the mitaani, mtaa lights disappear.
Once he finished,he heard a small meow from a tabby cat that sat at his feet. "I should have expected wewe to be here. Professor McGonagall.",He smiled. The tabby c as t suddenly transformed into an old woman. About the...
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Happy birthday Dan! wewe are an excellent actor! Dan, wewe are our hero for zaidi than 10 years. wewe are the number one actor I ever seen. Dan wewe had devoted your whole childhood for Harry Potter. Dan, wewe became a true character for J.K. Rowling's imaginations. Actually wewe acted in a real way that made us incredible. wewe wrote a history of your own. wewe are a legend! . Dan , wewe helped us to imagine a Wizard's world. Dan, wewe devotes so many times on us. wewe are the number one. We are always with you! As a shabiki this is only thing to do on your birthday. Here are my true feelings about. They are never fake. God and Lord Budda'll bless wewe Dan. wewe are so close to us than anyone in Hollywood field. From the bottom of our hearts we wish wewe a hot HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for everything wewe did and thank wewe devoting wewe childhood for us....
First of all, let me point out that it is kwa no means an attempt to justify au excuse Dark Lord’s actions, merely an attempt to understand them and his motives. It is also strongly influenced kwa existentialism and my slightly fatalistic mood.

Following Sartre’s “Man is fully responsible for his nature and his choices” it’s easy to say that the Dark Lord “ made all the wrong choices" i.e. he could have been a Minister for Magic, an ingenious inventor au a celebrity, but chose, and therefor became, the most powerful Dark Wizard of all time. True, it is Tom Marvolo Riddle, and perhaps...
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posted by Twilight-girl-x
Chapter 2
Both Draco and Hermione had slept soundly that night in their rooms, they had been decorated in their house colours and they were beautiful. Hermione normally wouldn’t have complained about being head girl, Her Dorm was beautiful, the Common Room was amazing but unfortunately the only bathroom they had was a shared one, down the stairs through a door coming off the Common room. So now as Hermione padded barefoot down the stairs into the Lovely and Peaceful common room she carried a towel, her school uniform and her toiletries, only wearing the shorts and Tee-Shirt she had worn in...
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posted by alisonfaith297
House Test
ok so its really simple, just put an X in the box it the description fits you. then add up the total number of point.

Gryffindor:
[] wewe are loud.
[] wewe like(d) going to school to see your friends.
[] You’ve had zaidi than a couple detentions.
[] wewe always have something to do on the weekends.
[] wewe like to be the center of attention.
[] wewe get above average grades in school.
[] You’ve been called bossy before.
[] You’re a bit of a daredevil/you like an adrenaline rush.
[] wewe are athletic.
[] wewe are one of the best players on your team.
[] wewe would do anything for your loved ones....
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posted by LadyNottingham
Chapter 5

Fred Weasley was buried in the afternoon. Harry and Hermione went with the Weasleys as they were considered part of the family. On the siku after, Ron, Hermione and Harry, and the remaining members of the Order of the Phoenix, came back to Hogwarts to bury one of their fellows, Professor Severus Snape. A few students were there too, as well as the faculty and staff. The three Malfoys were there too, to Harry’s surprise.

A few yards from Dumbledore’s tomb, a hole had been dig to receive Severus Snape’s body. Hermione had decided to remain with Eileen Snape, who welcomed her gladly,...
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posted by nichole22
please leave maoni so i no if this story sucks au not and please read it even if its not the whole story.

Chapter 1: The unexpected

Have wewe ever had one of those dreams, were wewe try and run fast but wewe just keep getting slower, well that's the dream I was having. This is the most strangest dream I have ever had. I was being chased kwa two wannabe snobs from school, Rachel was the leader from between them, who was tall with black hair tied up in to a curly mini style afro like a thick puff ball at the back of her head. she also had long, sleek legs built for running. Along side her was her...
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Look at how maarufu Harry Potter used to be millions of mashabiki all over. How many of wewe are on the pivoting point from switching like everyone else? Look at all the vitabu now that have such great adventures like Percy Jackson, au 39, maybe Twilight. Its starting to bring Harry Potter down. Sure were getting a few zaidi mashabiki because of the movies. Now we only have about 75,000 mashabiki all over America. Its really time to say Harry Potter is better in every way. Can wewe put a jinx on a werewolf in Twilight? Yeah didn't think so.

Now sinema wewe get the Sorcerers apprentice, Percy Jackson, twilight....
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added by Dundee673