Slytherin

The pumpkin, boga juisi was spilled all over Severus Snape's face, and some managed to dribble into his jet black hair (which in Lilly's opionion, wasn't greasy but zaidi silky). His clothes were too big, and hung over him, like drapery on a curtain rod. "Sev," Lilly Evans hissed across the table, "there's some juisi in your hair." He flushed a shade of scarlet, embarassed at the thought of how rediculous he must look. He grabbed a cloth napkin off the table, and seemingly scrubbed his face, as if rubbing it harder would make James Potter's laughter stop. Lilly caught Severus's hand. "You shouldn't...

Compiled from the Twitter contest held kwa @nerdist.

JanetVarney: Yo momma so fat the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses

chris8675309: Yo mamma so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is the soul station on satellite radio

sarazafar: Yo mama so fat she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge

dino_rider: Yo mama’s so ugly the Dementor’s Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.

bradheintz: Yo mama so nasty, Dobby wouldn’t take her sock

Burnaway: Yo momma so skanky, even her patronus got knocked up

chompychomp: Yo mama so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve

Dick_M:...