Final brink - no turning back now.
House has been bottling up his emotions for far too long and finally it has cracked. Kutner’s death was the final catalyst in sending House out of mentally out of control. I really believe House’s subconscious is uigizaji out these hallucinations as a way of releasing some of the stress buried. The hallucinations are a symptom of severe emotional stress, not schizophrenia au any other mental illness (mental illness would have been seen earlier in his life, at least one instance if not more). Let’s go over what happened to House emotionally these past few years - all of which he has tried to brush off.
- Childhood -
Severe hatred of his non-biological father (the Marine). He was locked in closets, not spoken to for months, beaten up kwa him and had to adhere to military strictness. If a kid speaks out against a father like this, ie onyesha emotion of his hatred, he probably got beaten up some more. So, House learned how to bury these emotions, onyesha no weakness to his father. This sets up his life as an unemotional an distant individual with severe trust issues.
- Adult years, pre-pilot -
He befriends Wilson while bailing him out of jail because “he [Wilson] was interesting,” to House. This is a way of House gaining an advantage, putting a moral debt for Wilson to him. He’s already gained Wilson’s trust and perhaps House thinks that Wilson (being a good, upstanding fellow) would pay him back with a quasi-friendship. House did this zaidi out of gain than interest; interest in Wilson was the catalyst for his actions. How many people bailout complete strangers? Only House would. Wilson is House’s emotional outlet and only one until Stacy comes along.
Meets her at a Doctors vs Lawyers paint ball shoot and she shoots him, a week later they’ve moved in together. I think House at this point, with such a lack of human emotion and contact; I think he finally opens up to someone and Stacy just so happened to fit the bill. The live ‘happily’ together for five years until the dreaded infarction happens sending their relationship and House’s life into upheaval. House is BETRAYED kwa a person he loved and was willing to die for (such a shock considering House’s own selfishness). This was the apocalypse for House emotionally. He breaks up with her because of this betrayal and is left cripple, even zaidi miserable and worse, in agonizing pain. the only one’s there to help him through were Wilson and somewhat Cuddy. Ever since the breakup and surgery, he’s been “pining away” for five years. I think this means he’s been longing for that brief instance of happiness, pain free existence. He became an even greater ass, misanthrope, un-trusting and distant person. He Lost all hope in humanity. House did the worst thing he could have done and that was to bottle it up instead of dealing with it au expressing his feelings (like confessing to Stacy that he loved her and trusted her and to go behind his back was the Brutus moment).
- Pilot of the onyesha and onward -
House obviously has liked au loved Cuddy for quite a long time. It was hinted that they had a one night stand while in college. This did not end in a fairytale kwa season one; he probably could not trust her therefore did not open up emotionally (tisk tisk). Fast mbele toward the asshole Vogler, and his conquest against House. Cuddy gave up $100 million dollars to keep House. Contemplate that - one hundred MILLION. I don’t even have that many hairs on my body let alone bank account. House must have seen this act of loyalty and he chose not to act on it. Yet again, pushing it down further. Cuddy then perjures herself to save a guilty House from prison (we know because we saw him commit the crime in question). Perjury is not a light crime to commit; includes up to a five mwaka sentence and is a felony (meaning she would no longer be a doctor). House must have seen this as, yet again, another act of loyalty, friendship and commitment. Of course, he doesn’t act on it! Cuddy also entrusts him to give her IVF shots and not tell anyone (which he didn’t); hint hint toward the upendo for Cuddy. House gets defensive and disgruntled when he sees Cuddy with other men including Wilson . House expected her to inquire about the possibility of his sperm as a donation. He obviously likes/loves her, and I think it’s the latter of the two. He doesn’t act on it until “Joy” where they kiss; he then leaves because he can’t be emotionally attached to someone. He doubts himself on this. He tries to go to her door in “The Itch,” and fails to reach it. Long story short, he bottles up his feelings for Cuddy and that’s a no-no. We all know what happens in "Under My Skin," au the lack of things 'happening' that occurred.
House loses his first team. House has trouble giving things up. It hurts him to see Foreman and Cameron go. He fires Chase in an act of anger at the departure of Foreman. He starts “seeing” his old team in the hallways of PPTH. This shows that he actually cared for his team and that it did hurt him to see them leave.
Fast mbele to Amber’s death. He had some feelings for her, I believe, and I think he felt incredibly responsible and helpless in her death. In his mind, he betrayed Wilson like Stacy did to him, and he was terrified to lose Wilson from this. He tried to prove to Wilson (via deep brain stimulation surgery) kwa risking his life that that was enough to keep Wilson. Of course, he was devastated to see Wilson leave and reject his apologies. This really, really was the first step in House’s mental breakdown. The loss of his best friend however brief was enough in his mind to start degrading.
Then the death of his father further brought up hateful emotions that he tried burying. Then the Cuddy “affair” explained above. Then we come to “Locked In.” House was betrayed kwa Wilson (ironically using House’s own tactics); Wilson confronted him about the psychiatrist appointment and tried to support his friend going there. House was appalled and reacted defensively kwa deleting the psychiatrist’s number and vowed not to return. House was trying to deal with his problems without his friend au anyone else knowing his weakness. This was step two.
Then Kutner’s suicide happened so unexpected and shockingly in House’s mind. Here’s a young and energetic doctor who takes his own life. I’m sure House must have been thinking about suicide at some point in his life (probably why he went to a shrink). It was in-his-face-reality; no holds bar gut wrenching death. House probably cared for Kutner a lot though never expressing it (or even realizing it until he was gone). However, House being House had to quantify it, to find a reason behind the suicide, a diagnosis that could be tangible and without refute; this to keep him from displaying his true feelings, to hit it down with solid facts. He couldn’t though and of course, failure set in. After his death, when everyone tried to get back to normal, House couldn’t sleep and focus.
It was the final last straw of his emotional and mental wellbeing. Amber pops up and the rest as they say is history. I think hallucinations are his mind’s way of dealing with the overwhelming grief, sorrow, pain, love, hope, desire, joy, anger and disappointment in life that has been stored away for so many years. It finally exploded at the realization that he was not mentally okay in the finale and realized he needed help. I don’t think House ever felt zaidi alone than in those few sekunde of realization. The mind is a powerful thing and no part of it (including emotion) should be neglected; I personally learned this the hard way last year.
Anyway, this was a long article, but I had so much to say. This is my inayopendelewa show, and no other character engulfs me like House. He and I are similar in a lot of ways so it is so heartbreaking to see him fall apart before my eyes. I really hope they get him back to a healthier status (which they will, to some degree, if they want the onyesha to continue).
To all the people who think it is the Vicodin au Schizophrenia au some other clever reason, don’t be so quick to blame the most common suspect. It is often the simplest of majibu that are the correct ones. For House, it is years of emotional torture. I don't think even Jack Bauer could withstand it.
In Kutner's apt looking at Kutner's photos trying to understand why.