Here a new chapter, hope you'll enjoy it : )
House listens to Rachel’s message and his moyo squeezes. He listens to it again and again. He feels so sorry for the little girl. If someone had told him that he would bond with the child, he would have never believed it, but the fact is that he really cares about the little girl, sometimes, in his head, he calls her his little princess. When he saw who was calling him, his moyo began to beat faster, his hands became sweat, he didn’t know what to do. He isn’t ready to talk to Cuddy yet, he needs some zaidi time. He had to make a big effort to not answer, because he desperately needs her, he needs to hear her voice… And now, after listening to the message, he feels worse. He never thought Rachel could miss him so much to call him, Cuddy probably didn’t tell her what he has done. Why? To protect Rachel, certainly, but … yeah, that must be the reason why she didn’t tell Rachel, she’s so protective with her… it’s probably not because of him and what he is for Rachel, a kind of dad… He remembers that at the beginning of their relationship she didn’t introduce him to Rachel and her argument was that she needed to protect her, but from what? From him? From his childish behavior? au from a possible “break up”? And then, when he made her remark that she was sailing back just like him from a real and deep relationship, then, she agreed to let him approach Rachel, to let him know Rachel… And contrary to all expectations, he got very well with the little girl. House remembers the time when he learned Rachel how to play “feed the monkey”, just to get her ready for the preschool test – it was so important to Cuddy, she was so proud of her daughter - and at the end of the test, when the teacher told them that Rachel was very smart, then Cuddy asked her if she had already played to “feed the monkey”, the little girl answered her mother with a so lovely, innocent face “no”, then looked at House with some complicity in the eyes, House felt so proud of her, he had a secret with the little girl! He couldn’t help but to tell then his patient in the clinic duty, and he must have been very enthusiastic because the patient thought he was talking about his child. That was a good time, a happy time… And now all this is so far, it seems to be just a dream… He misses Rachel… What can he do? Just call her, tell her that everything is ok? He doesn’t even know what Cuddy told the little girl to explain her the huge hole in the living-room, the absence of House… He tries to imagine a plausible explanation, but … how to be sure that Cuddy would have aliyopewa her the same? Of course, he could call Cuddy and ask her, but she’ll want to know why he asks such a thing, he’s sure that Cuddy doesn’t know that Rachel called him. So if he calls her about Rachel, she will probably fear that he tries something against Rachel, maybe that he could kidnap her… No, no, she can’t imagine such a horrible thing, he’s too depressed to think rational, he needs to calm down and to focus on something else. But what? He suddenly understands that Cuddy, Rachel, Wilson are all his life, he needs them, he’s Lost without them. What can he do to make things better? How can they forgive him? Will he be able to forgive himself? He probably has to find someone to help him dealing with all this crap, maybe… Nolan? After all he’s a good therapist, and he’s a doctor so he has to respect the medical confidentiality. But will he accept to treat House per phone?
Cuddy gets out the meeting room, she needs some quiet place, the negotiation with the insurances was rather hard, but she obtained eventually what she wanted. Instead of going back to her office, she goes to Wilson’s office, she needs to talk to someone who worries about House like she does.
-Wilson, do wewe have a moment? she asks.
-Yes, of course, Cuddy, come in. Is there a problem? Wilson majibu and looks at her, trying to guess why she comes.
-No, not really, just the usual work with the usual difficulties, nothing more, it’s just that…, she says and walks around in the room.
-Excuse me, but wewe … seem upset and worried. Do wewe want to talk about something?
-I’m tired, Wilson, my house is destroyed, it will take months to “repair” it and I… I can’t wait so long, she says and finally sits down.
Wilson wonders why she can’t wait, she effectively seems tired, she Lost some weigh, she’s pale… but she doesn’t tell him everything.
-Cuddy, I understand that wewe are living very hard times, a lot of events have happened, and …
-Wilson! Do wewe know where he is? she exclaims suddenly, and some tears begin to roll on her cheeks.
-You mean, where is House? That’s what wewe ask me?
-Yes, Wilson, I know it’s crazy but I’m worried about him, no one saw him, he called no one, he simply disappeared and … and I’m worried, she says in a low voice.
Wilson looks at her, he feels so sorry for her, how can she still worry about a man who drove into her living-room and who could have hurt her, even killed her?
-Cuddy, wewe … wewe shouldn’t worry about him, not after what he’s done to you, he could have killed you! Wilson replies.
-I know! Cuddy shouts, and she wipes the tears on her cheeks, but new tears replace them immediately. I know, I shouldn’t care about him, but … I upendo him, Wilson, do wewe understand?
-Cuddy, I … I don’t know what to say au what to do, I … I know wewe upendo him, and I know he … loves you… he needs you, but … I really don’t know where he is. I’m worried too, I called him every day, I went several times to his apartment, I even asked Dominica, but she has no idea where he can be, and … to tell the truth I don’t think that it worries her a lot…
Wilson stands up and nears Cuddy, she stands up and he takes her in his arms to comfort her, Cuddy bursts in tears, and Wilson sits with her on the kitanda of his office. Where are wewe House? he wonders, she needs you! wewe have to be there to comfort her, it’s not my role, she doesn’t need me, she needs you, wewe idiot! After a while, Cuddy calms down and says:
-Thank you, Wilson, I’m sorry, wewe don’t have to … do this, but you’re the only one who worries about House here, you’re the only one to know a lot about House, about me…
-Don’t worry, Cuddy, I’m your friend, … and House’s friend too, I’ll always be there for both of you, no matter what happens, wewe both are my friends.
Cuddy looks at him and smiles a little. I know, Wilson. Then she stands up.
-Hm, Cuddy?
-Yes?
-May I ask wewe something?
-Of course, she majibu puzzled.
-You alisema that it will take several months to repair your house and then that wewe can’t wait so long, why?
-Why what?
-Why can’t wewe wait? wewe can all the same live in your house, of course wewe have no zaidi living-room, but… so why? repeats Wilson and looks at her in the eyes.
-I … well, I think you’ll figure it out soon, … and it’s better if I tell you… you’re my friend so…
-What? What do wewe have to tell me, Cuddy? asks Wilson, worried.
-I …, Cuddy takes a deep breath and says rapidly I want to songesha in another city, in another state. Then she stares at Wilson and waits for his reaction.
-Wha… What? Are wewe kidding? wewe want to move? But… your job! You’ll never find another one like it! And what about us? I mean what about the PPTH? And … and if House comes back? Did wewe think of all the consequences? says Wilson, shocked.
-Wilson, I … I had thought about all this, about all what happened this last mwaka in my life, and … and I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to songesha on I had to leave from here, I can’t stay here, I have too much memories here…
-Do wewe remember when Amber dies? says Wilson in a low voice and looks through the window to House’s balcony. Cuddy nods and he keeps on talking. Do wewe remember what wewe told me then?
-Yes, but it’s not the same, she majibu in the same ton of voice.
-Of course, it’s the same situation! says Wilson and turns to her. Except that House isn’t dead! Well for what I know, he’s still alive. And wewe have no right to give up the wonderful upendo wewe share with him. I know he went far too far this time, wewe may never forgive him for what he’s done to wewe and to Rachel, but … but he has extenuating circumstances! HE LOVES YOU! And when he saw wewe with this guy he … he can’t help but do something crazy! And wewe know that, wewe know that wewe have a part of responsibility in this tragic event, in the break up and in his stupid behavior after wewe dumped him.
-Wilson! says Cuddy frightened, do wewe mean I’m the only responsible for all this crap, for House’s self-destructive behavior? Cuddy can’t believe what Wilson said.
-No, Cuddy, of course not. Don’t get me wrong, House can be a real jerk, his behavior was stupid and what he’s done with the car is … completely crazy and I will understand that wewe can’t forgive him, but … When Amber dies, I wanted to leave my job, to leave this town, I thought it was the only way to forget all the good time I spent with her, the only way to get over her, over us… And then you, and House, told me that I was wrong, that the memories will always remain in my head wherever I can go, her face, her smell, her skin, her kiss… all these memories are forever in me, in my head, in my body, wewe told me that to start again somewhere else won’t help me because my Marafiki were here, and when such a dramatic event happens, wewe need to have your Marafiki near you… that’s what I want wewe to remember, that’s what I want wewe to think about. And wewe have the chance that wewe still have the hope to see him again one day, maybe to get back at him… With time, everything is possible, as long as both of wewe are alive… and still deeply in upendo with each other, don’t give up Cuddy, please, don’t give up. There’s still a chance… But if wewe leave this town and your job … How can he find you? How can he then ask wewe to forgive him? How can wewe both have a real discussion?
-I … I don’t think we are in the same situation as wewe were… Neither you, nor Amber hurt the other one like House and I did, I know I’m not perfect, Wilson, my mother may even be right when she told me that I’m an idiot with impossible standards, but… it’s just what it is, it’s the life. House and I are two screwed up people who tried to have a “normal” relationship, a “normal” life, but we just can’t… And I have to think about Rachel, she’s young, she deserves to be happy…
-Yeah, you’re right, Rachel deserves to be happy and wewe can’t deny the fact that she’s really attached to House, that she loves him like a child may upendo a father! Cuddy, I’m sure that one siku House will come back here, maybe in one week, maybe in one month, maybe in one year, but he will come back because wewe are his family, wewe are his world! Think, please, about all the consequences, about what I tell wewe before wewe take your decision.
-I’ve already thought about all this, Wilson, and I have taken my decision. I am going to put back my resignation in the afternoon and I’ll leave in two weeks, she says in a low voice, without looking at Wilson.
-So I can’t convince wewe to stay?
-No. I have to move, for Rachel, for me and … for House.
-Ok, so I wish wewe good luck, Cuddy, and I hope that we’ll stay in contact, I’ll miss you, Wilson says and gives her a hug.
-Thank you, Wilson. We stay in contact, and … if wewe have any news about him, just tell me.
-I promise.
House listens to Rachel’s message and his moyo squeezes. He listens to it again and again. He feels so sorry for the little girl. If someone had told him that he would bond with the child, he would have never believed it, but the fact is that he really cares about the little girl, sometimes, in his head, he calls her his little princess. When he saw who was calling him, his moyo began to beat faster, his hands became sweat, he didn’t know what to do. He isn’t ready to talk to Cuddy yet, he needs some zaidi time. He had to make a big effort to not answer, because he desperately needs her, he needs to hear her voice… And now, after listening to the message, he feels worse. He never thought Rachel could miss him so much to call him, Cuddy probably didn’t tell her what he has done. Why? To protect Rachel, certainly, but … yeah, that must be the reason why she didn’t tell Rachel, she’s so protective with her… it’s probably not because of him and what he is for Rachel, a kind of dad… He remembers that at the beginning of their relationship she didn’t introduce him to Rachel and her argument was that she needed to protect her, but from what? From him? From his childish behavior? au from a possible “break up”? And then, when he made her remark that she was sailing back just like him from a real and deep relationship, then, she agreed to let him approach Rachel, to let him know Rachel… And contrary to all expectations, he got very well with the little girl. House remembers the time when he learned Rachel how to play “feed the monkey”, just to get her ready for the preschool test – it was so important to Cuddy, she was so proud of her daughter - and at the end of the test, when the teacher told them that Rachel was very smart, then Cuddy asked her if she had already played to “feed the monkey”, the little girl answered her mother with a so lovely, innocent face “no”, then looked at House with some complicity in the eyes, House felt so proud of her, he had a secret with the little girl! He couldn’t help but to tell then his patient in the clinic duty, and he must have been very enthusiastic because the patient thought he was talking about his child. That was a good time, a happy time… And now all this is so far, it seems to be just a dream… He misses Rachel… What can he do? Just call her, tell her that everything is ok? He doesn’t even know what Cuddy told the little girl to explain her the huge hole in the living-room, the absence of House… He tries to imagine a plausible explanation, but … how to be sure that Cuddy would have aliyopewa her the same? Of course, he could call Cuddy and ask her, but she’ll want to know why he asks such a thing, he’s sure that Cuddy doesn’t know that Rachel called him. So if he calls her about Rachel, she will probably fear that he tries something against Rachel, maybe that he could kidnap her… No, no, she can’t imagine such a horrible thing, he’s too depressed to think rational, he needs to calm down and to focus on something else. But what? He suddenly understands that Cuddy, Rachel, Wilson are all his life, he needs them, he’s Lost without them. What can he do to make things better? How can they forgive him? Will he be able to forgive himself? He probably has to find someone to help him dealing with all this crap, maybe… Nolan? After all he’s a good therapist, and he’s a doctor so he has to respect the medical confidentiality. But will he accept to treat House per phone?
Cuddy gets out the meeting room, she needs some quiet place, the negotiation with the insurances was rather hard, but she obtained eventually what she wanted. Instead of going back to her office, she goes to Wilson’s office, she needs to talk to someone who worries about House like she does.
-Wilson, do wewe have a moment? she asks.
-Yes, of course, Cuddy, come in. Is there a problem? Wilson majibu and looks at her, trying to guess why she comes.
-No, not really, just the usual work with the usual difficulties, nothing more, it’s just that…, she says and walks around in the room.
-Excuse me, but wewe … seem upset and worried. Do wewe want to talk about something?
-I’m tired, Wilson, my house is destroyed, it will take months to “repair” it and I… I can’t wait so long, she says and finally sits down.
Wilson wonders why she can’t wait, she effectively seems tired, she Lost some weigh, she’s pale… but she doesn’t tell him everything.
-Cuddy, I understand that wewe are living very hard times, a lot of events have happened, and …
-Wilson! Do wewe know where he is? she exclaims suddenly, and some tears begin to roll on her cheeks.
-You mean, where is House? That’s what wewe ask me?
-Yes, Wilson, I know it’s crazy but I’m worried about him, no one saw him, he called no one, he simply disappeared and … and I’m worried, she says in a low voice.
Wilson looks at her, he feels so sorry for her, how can she still worry about a man who drove into her living-room and who could have hurt her, even killed her?
-Cuddy, wewe … wewe shouldn’t worry about him, not after what he’s done to you, he could have killed you! Wilson replies.
-I know! Cuddy shouts, and she wipes the tears on her cheeks, but new tears replace them immediately. I know, I shouldn’t care about him, but … I upendo him, Wilson, do wewe understand?
-Cuddy, I … I don’t know what to say au what to do, I … I know wewe upendo him, and I know he … loves you… he needs you, but … I really don’t know where he is. I’m worried too, I called him every day, I went several times to his apartment, I even asked Dominica, but she has no idea where he can be, and … to tell the truth I don’t think that it worries her a lot…
Wilson stands up and nears Cuddy, she stands up and he takes her in his arms to comfort her, Cuddy bursts in tears, and Wilson sits with her on the kitanda of his office. Where are wewe House? he wonders, she needs you! wewe have to be there to comfort her, it’s not my role, she doesn’t need me, she needs you, wewe idiot! After a while, Cuddy calms down and says:
-Thank you, Wilson, I’m sorry, wewe don’t have to … do this, but you’re the only one who worries about House here, you’re the only one to know a lot about House, about me…
-Don’t worry, Cuddy, I’m your friend, … and House’s friend too, I’ll always be there for both of you, no matter what happens, wewe both are my friends.
Cuddy looks at him and smiles a little. I know, Wilson. Then she stands up.
-Hm, Cuddy?
-Yes?
-May I ask wewe something?
-Of course, she majibu puzzled.
-You alisema that it will take several months to repair your house and then that wewe can’t wait so long, why?
-Why what?
-Why can’t wewe wait? wewe can all the same live in your house, of course wewe have no zaidi living-room, but… so why? repeats Wilson and looks at her in the eyes.
-I … well, I think you’ll figure it out soon, … and it’s better if I tell you… you’re my friend so…
-What? What do wewe have to tell me, Cuddy? asks Wilson, worried.
-I …, Cuddy takes a deep breath and says rapidly I want to songesha in another city, in another state. Then she stares at Wilson and waits for his reaction.
-Wha… What? Are wewe kidding? wewe want to move? But… your job! You’ll never find another one like it! And what about us? I mean what about the PPTH? And … and if House comes back? Did wewe think of all the consequences? says Wilson, shocked.
-Wilson, I … I had thought about all this, about all what happened this last mwaka in my life, and … and I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to songesha on I had to leave from here, I can’t stay here, I have too much memories here…
-Do wewe remember when Amber dies? says Wilson in a low voice and looks through the window to House’s balcony. Cuddy nods and he keeps on talking. Do wewe remember what wewe told me then?
-Yes, but it’s not the same, she majibu in the same ton of voice.
-Of course, it’s the same situation! says Wilson and turns to her. Except that House isn’t dead! Well for what I know, he’s still alive. And wewe have no right to give up the wonderful upendo wewe share with him. I know he went far too far this time, wewe may never forgive him for what he’s done to wewe and to Rachel, but … but he has extenuating circumstances! HE LOVES YOU! And when he saw wewe with this guy he … he can’t help but do something crazy! And wewe know that, wewe know that wewe have a part of responsibility in this tragic event, in the break up and in his stupid behavior after wewe dumped him.
-Wilson! says Cuddy frightened, do wewe mean I’m the only responsible for all this crap, for House’s self-destructive behavior? Cuddy can’t believe what Wilson said.
-No, Cuddy, of course not. Don’t get me wrong, House can be a real jerk, his behavior was stupid and what he’s done with the car is … completely crazy and I will understand that wewe can’t forgive him, but … When Amber dies, I wanted to leave my job, to leave this town, I thought it was the only way to forget all the good time I spent with her, the only way to get over her, over us… And then you, and House, told me that I was wrong, that the memories will always remain in my head wherever I can go, her face, her smell, her skin, her kiss… all these memories are forever in me, in my head, in my body, wewe told me that to start again somewhere else won’t help me because my Marafiki were here, and when such a dramatic event happens, wewe need to have your Marafiki near you… that’s what I want wewe to remember, that’s what I want wewe to think about. And wewe have the chance that wewe still have the hope to see him again one day, maybe to get back at him… With time, everything is possible, as long as both of wewe are alive… and still deeply in upendo with each other, don’t give up Cuddy, please, don’t give up. There’s still a chance… But if wewe leave this town and your job … How can he find you? How can he then ask wewe to forgive him? How can wewe both have a real discussion?
-I … I don’t think we are in the same situation as wewe were… Neither you, nor Amber hurt the other one like House and I did, I know I’m not perfect, Wilson, my mother may even be right when she told me that I’m an idiot with impossible standards, but… it’s just what it is, it’s the life. House and I are two screwed up people who tried to have a “normal” relationship, a “normal” life, but we just can’t… And I have to think about Rachel, she’s young, she deserves to be happy…
-Yeah, you’re right, Rachel deserves to be happy and wewe can’t deny the fact that she’s really attached to House, that she loves him like a child may upendo a father! Cuddy, I’m sure that one siku House will come back here, maybe in one week, maybe in one month, maybe in one year, but he will come back because wewe are his family, wewe are his world! Think, please, about all the consequences, about what I tell wewe before wewe take your decision.
-I’ve already thought about all this, Wilson, and I have taken my decision. I am going to put back my resignation in the afternoon and I’ll leave in two weeks, she says in a low voice, without looking at Wilson.
-So I can’t convince wewe to stay?
-No. I have to move, for Rachel, for me and … for House.
-Ok, so I wish wewe good luck, Cuddy, and I hope that we’ll stay in contact, I’ll miss you, Wilson says and gives her a hug.
-Thank you, Wilson. We stay in contact, and … if wewe have any news about him, just tell me.
-I promise.