He had found the time to write a sekunde letter to Cuddy. He was doing his best to work through his feelings. He didn;t know if she would read the letters. He wasn't even sure he would be able to get it to her." He pulled the letter out to read it one zaidi time to see if he really wanted to send it.
Cuddy,
I've been back a few months and everything is so different. I realize zaidi than ever how special the teams that were built at Princeton were. The hospital is in such disarray and financial crisis. I realize how special we all were together.
I met a family while in Mexico and there was an eight mwaka old. He found me in a drunken stupor with no money and an infected leg. I think I was close to dying. He brought me chakula and took care of me. He got me to a village that was mainly an orphanage and there a doctor treated the infection and my addiction.
As I got to know the doctor I told him that I had been a doctor and I had some issues that made it impossible for me to go home. He didn't swali me and told me he would help me if I would help him. I stayed and helped him with the kids. They were so young and their parents couldn't take care of them so they had just brought them to the orphanage and left them.
None of those kids were unhappy though. They were all so grateful to have people taking care of them. One night I got up and I could hear one of them crying and when I found the one crying it was the little boy who had helped me. His name was Rafael. He was having trouble breathing and after doing the limited testing they have available I found it was a moyo defect.
I couldn't fix him and I couldn't get him a transplant. I had Dominica doing as much as she could from the states and she would mail me as much medicine as she could get her hands on. I was doing some doctoring for some of the richer sect to make money and get my hands on extra drugs for Rafael and the other children.
When I got the call that alisema wewe had dropped the charges I thought maybe I would be able to get Rafael a moyo transplant so I came back. That was my first thought.
My sekunde thought was how you've always looked past all my actions to see my why I did the things I did. wewe loved me sacrificially much like the children in the orphanage loved their parents. But that is the whole thing wewe were not my parent.You wanted to be my partner.
I took advantage for years of the fact that wewe wanted to "help" me, to "fix" me. wewe gave me every reason to drop my guard and to trust you. I couldn't take a chance that wewe would see who I was. That wewe would see me and decide.............
I think I knew I would lose wewe but at least it was because of something I did and not that wewe "saw me: and decided I wasn't what wewe wanted.
I was incapable of trusting anyone with all of my moyo but I think wewe incapable of trusting me. The fact that wewe were waiting on me to screw up made it harder for me to do anything else.
"I also think that wewe kept me at arms length." wewe didn't tell me what wewe wanted. I was out there spinning trying to figure out what to do and wewe didn't tell me I was close to losing wewe au how wewe felt. wewe yelled, wewe shut the door on me, but wewe didn't talk to me.
When I did things that I knew would bother wewe your reaction was different than it had ever been. If it was something I didn't want to do I found a reason to bail out. I drank to get away from the things I was worrying about. wewe wanted to know I could handle pressures and I showed wewe that I couldn't. I thought wewe would talk and that wewe would open up but wewe never did.
I did take vicodin so I wouldn't have to feel the fear that wewe were feeling but I was really believed wewe were dying and that I just had to be there.
I pushed wewe for years and I did cruel things. I put wewe through hell. I think we started this relationship with too much baggage. wewe finally alisema enough is enough. I am so sorry that I could have hurt Rachel au you. I told wewe that siku that it wasn't your fault but I didn't believe that.
I know now that most of this was my fault.
Thank wewe for dropping the charges. Thank wewe for loving me. I really do hope wewe are happy.
P.S.Lisa I ..............I do upendo you. I still miss your touch. I miss "you." If I could do it over I would do so many things differently.
House
As he folded the letter he put it in the zipper part of his carry on.
As the plane touched down House stood up to get his carry on and he didn't realize that the letter fell out. He also didn't notice that Lucas had been on the flight.
