As House was holding Rachel and Cuddy was holding their son he suddenly sat Rachel down and excused himself. He told them he had an appointment but the truth was he suddenly couldn’t breathe. He was right in the center of everyone he wanted to be with; the place he wanted to be; but he had been there before and Lost it all.
He returned to his office to pick a case and get the team started. They were reviewing two files as House came in.
As House reviewed the files he decided to mgawanyiko, baidisha the team and take both cases. He walked over to the coffee maker and cut some straws so they could draw for their partners.
Chase drew a short straw as Thirteen pulled a longer one. They both were hoping for each other but now they were keping their fingers cossed for Foreman. Taub had been extremely unproductive as of late and was just annoying in general. With Rachel and Ruby soon to deliver he was trying to hold a part-time gig on the side and really didn’t have his head in the game.
As Taub drew his straw Chase immediately bent over. “How about best two out of three,” replied Chase?
“No can do”, House replied back; all bets are final. So the one with the big nose and the male whore are together and the monk and the lesbian are together. Now go make daddy proud. Thirteen turned around to speak. “Not a word from wewe au I will put wewe with the one with the big nose.”
As they left Wilson came in.
“Wilson it is good to see you.” “What can I do for wewe this fine day?”
“Cuddy told me, that she told you, that wewe were the father.” How are you?
“Fine.” Did wewe know Wilson?
“I suspected because while wewe were gone she began to onyesha I knew it had to be yours.” Witht the timing wewe were the only possibility. I asked her about it once but she wouldn’t admit it. She alisema wewe left her room suddenly this morning.
“I needed to get my team started on the cases.” I have an appointment with Dr. Nolan at 2:00.
“House are wewe ok?”
“I am fine.” I am doing my job.
House I…….
“Wilson remember the last time wewe pushed me to be honest?” I have an appointment with Dr. Nolan. I will be back
Waiting to see Dr. Nolan, House was thinking about all that had transpired in the last 48 hours. He had been talking to Dr. Nolan actually on a friendship level.. He had told him about he and Cuddy breaking up and the things he had done including redecorating her dining room.
House;” Dr. Nolan’s voice brought him out of his deep thoughts;” are wewe ready?
“As he stood he nodded slightly” as he limped into the office.
“Is your leg giving wewe a lot of trouble?”
“A little.” With nothing to numb the pain, I have my days with it.
“Are wewe taking the ibuprophen?”
“Yes."
“Have wewe thought anymore about going to some pain management classes that I told wewe about?”
“I actually have thought about attending one.”
“Tell me about your week?”
Well,Cuddy stopped me from going to Mexico, she went into labor at the airport,the baby needed CPR and Cuddy almost bled to death. Oh and I found out I am the baby’s father. Average week I would say.
So you’re a father. How does that feel?
“Like I am a daddy."
Do wewe have any plans about how this will work with Cuddy?
He shook his head as he whispered, “not exactly.” We kissed.
“That was unexpected.”
“You’re telling me.”
“So how did wewe feel about it?”
Is that all wewe are going to do is ask me, “How I felt about something?”
What do wewe want me to say House? wewe already know wewe are not ready for anything with Dr. Cuddy. Dr. Cuddy isn’t ready for anything.
“I know.” That’s why I left the room this morning when Rachel came in. I was sitting there thinking how good it felt and then I had this feeling of just overwhelming fear. So I left.
Why are wewe scared?
We went through a break-up in which I acted like an idiot and Lost both of the people that cared the most about me.
“Why did she break-up with you?”
She just found out I wasn’t what she wanted. Unfortunately, I couldn't deal with that.
“Why the kiss then?”
“She was confused and emotional.”
“What about you?” Why did wewe kiss her?
"Do I need to have a sex education class with you?"
"House."
“Because she was confused and emotional.
"House I see wewe are back to deflecting.”
It works out better than honesty. The last time I was honest I plowed my car into a dining room.
So where do wewe go from here?
Hopefully not into another dining room. I have a fail-safe plan actually. “We go backwards and pretend like it never happened.”
“Do wewe really think wewe can pretend it didn’t happen?” wewe want to pretend like wewe do not have a child?
Don’t do that. Cuddy thought I would be a lousy father. “Why do wewe think she didn’t tell me?” Then I had a moment that I was there for her and the baby and she thinks now, once again, maybe, "he can do this." Once she thinks about it she will realize I would be a lousy father.
Maybe she believes in wewe zaidi than wewe believe in yourself.Why do wewe think wewe would be a lousy father? Does that have anything to do with your father?
I made peace with my father and all that entails. He was tough but he was fair. He wanted me to be a good man.
“That’s why he put wewe in ice when wewe did something wrong.”
It has nothing to do with anything now! Don’t do that!
“I think it does.” wewe don’t feel that he accepted wewe and wewe don’t “really” believe anyone ever could accept wewe if they saw who wewe were. wewe push people away and wewe have been hiding behind the pills and the sarcasm because deep down wewe don’t trust anyone not to hurt you.
“Well wewe really don’t need me for this conversation so I will go back to the hospital.”
“House.” Don't run from this. wewe will never get far enough and the bottom of a vicodin bottle au a fifth of Scotch is beneath anything wewe can do. “You have a deep sense of loyalty and a deep longing for love.” To have what wewe desire wewe have to take a chance and be willing to get hurt.
“What do wewe want me to do?”
"Face your fears." “Talk to Cuddy.” Slow this down. Get to know your son and see what that situation looks like. Find out what Dr. Cuddy wants and then find out if wewe want the same things. Have a relationship with your son.
“I don’t know how.”
“Why?”
Without Cuddy how do I ……? Just holding the baby will be …………. I don’t know what to do. I can’t onyesha Cuddy weakness because that is what she expects. I will disappoint her. I will fail “again.” And I will lose her again.
House it doesn’t have to end badly. I can help wewe through this. wewe won’t lose anything but wewe will gain a lot. “You can trust me.”
And as he nodded, he looked at him for a moment. What if I do my best and she doesn't want me?
Then you'll know and wewe can songesha on. wewe will find someone that wewe belong with if wewe are willing to take a chance.
She is in my soul. The way she walks, the way she raises her eyebrow and takes a breath when she is lying to me, the way she bites her lip when she is thinking au afraid.
So go to her and be willing to get hurt.
When he arrived back at the hospital Foreman and Thirteen had a diagnosis and was awaiting him to get the approval for treatment.
Chase was still running labs on the patient he and Taub had been assigned. “Where is Taub?” “Rachel went into labor who was followed immediately kwa Ruby,” Chase replied.
Chase give me twenty dakika and I will come back and help wewe with the labs. “Chase looked at him very puzzled” but thanked him.
House went into to see Cuddy as she was in the almost finished feeding the baby.
“Wilson alisema wewe took two cases."
“Yes one is solved and I am going to help Chase with the other one.”
“You left suddenly earlier.”
“I went to see Dr. Nolan.”
“Are wewe ok?”
“I’m fine but I need to talk to wewe about my father and about us.” I want to slow down and see if we can be friends. I want to see if I can be a good father. I can’t do it to please wewe and I don’t want to play any games.
"My father was abusive and I ended up shutting down and closing myself off." He wasn't my father and the summer I confronted him about it made everything so much worse. I thought that was why he was so mean because he didn't upendo me and maybe I wasn't really that bad. I was angry at my mom for not stopping him, I thought I must be pretty horrible if my own mother wouldn't defend me. When wewe alisema I do anything to avoid pain wewe were right.
Intimcy is so hard for me I allowed wewe in closer than anyone else but I also treated wewe like my mom. In the ways that I didn't lash out at her I did you. wewe were the bulleye for all my rage all these years and I am sorry.
I am so sorry. I always knew behind those eyes was a very hurt little boy. I wasn't ready for wewe but I wasn't ready to lose wewe either. I had always wanted wewe and I didn't know what to do. I wanted zaidi of wewe and to me wewe were coming unglued and shutting me out. wewe made me better but I didn't make wewe better.
"Can we start over?" Cuddy wewe have been a good friend and a good boss. wewe have allowed me to be a great doctor because wewe have believed in that gift inside me. Can we wipe the slate clean?
“Do wewe want to hold him?”
"Yes." Have wewe decided on a name?
"I thought maybe we could do that together."
She gently put this tiny little bundle into his arms. He felt overwhelmed but he kept his moyo still as he looked down at his son.
"He thought to himself,"my son." He moved the blanket back a little and he kissed his tiny forehead. As Cuddy was watching him she could see a man that was coming to terms with things.
Just a few moments later he looked up to find Cuddy had fallen asleep. He paged a nurse to have Chase come to Cuddy’s room.
“How is the case going Chase?”
“Foreman and Thirteen came to help me.” Just stay with the baby we will keep wewe updated. As House nodded Chase looked back at him and smiled just a bit.
House sat down in the chair they had brought in for him. He rocked him to sleep and he shut his eyes too. Maybe this was there new beginning. for the first time he really thought they could all songesha on.
He returned to his office to pick a case and get the team started. They were reviewing two files as House came in.
As House reviewed the files he decided to mgawanyiko, baidisha the team and take both cases. He walked over to the coffee maker and cut some straws so they could draw for their partners.
Chase drew a short straw as Thirteen pulled a longer one. They both were hoping for each other but now they were keping their fingers cossed for Foreman. Taub had been extremely unproductive as of late and was just annoying in general. With Rachel and Ruby soon to deliver he was trying to hold a part-time gig on the side and really didn’t have his head in the game.
As Taub drew his straw Chase immediately bent over. “How about best two out of three,” replied Chase?
“No can do”, House replied back; all bets are final. So the one with the big nose and the male whore are together and the monk and the lesbian are together. Now go make daddy proud. Thirteen turned around to speak. “Not a word from wewe au I will put wewe with the one with the big nose.”
As they left Wilson came in.
“Wilson it is good to see you.” “What can I do for wewe this fine day?”
“Cuddy told me, that she told you, that wewe were the father.” How are you?
“Fine.” Did wewe know Wilson?
“I suspected because while wewe were gone she began to onyesha I knew it had to be yours.” Witht the timing wewe were the only possibility. I asked her about it once but she wouldn’t admit it. She alisema wewe left her room suddenly this morning.
“I needed to get my team started on the cases.” I have an appointment with Dr. Nolan at 2:00.
“House are wewe ok?”
“I am fine.” I am doing my job.
House I…….
“Wilson remember the last time wewe pushed me to be honest?” I have an appointment with Dr. Nolan. I will be back
Waiting to see Dr. Nolan, House was thinking about all that had transpired in the last 48 hours. He had been talking to Dr. Nolan actually on a friendship level.. He had told him about he and Cuddy breaking up and the things he had done including redecorating her dining room.
House;” Dr. Nolan’s voice brought him out of his deep thoughts;” are wewe ready?
“As he stood he nodded slightly” as he limped into the office.
“Is your leg giving wewe a lot of trouble?”
“A little.” With nothing to numb the pain, I have my days with it.
“Are wewe taking the ibuprophen?”
“Yes."
“Have wewe thought anymore about going to some pain management classes that I told wewe about?”
“I actually have thought about attending one.”
“Tell me about your week?”
Well,Cuddy stopped me from going to Mexico, she went into labor at the airport,the baby needed CPR and Cuddy almost bled to death. Oh and I found out I am the baby’s father. Average week I would say.
So you’re a father. How does that feel?
“Like I am a daddy."
Do wewe have any plans about how this will work with Cuddy?
He shook his head as he whispered, “not exactly.” We kissed.
“That was unexpected.”
“You’re telling me.”
“So how did wewe feel about it?”
Is that all wewe are going to do is ask me, “How I felt about something?”
What do wewe want me to say House? wewe already know wewe are not ready for anything with Dr. Cuddy. Dr. Cuddy isn’t ready for anything.
“I know.” That’s why I left the room this morning when Rachel came in. I was sitting there thinking how good it felt and then I had this feeling of just overwhelming fear. So I left.
Why are wewe scared?
We went through a break-up in which I acted like an idiot and Lost both of the people that cared the most about me.
“Why did she break-up with you?”
She just found out I wasn’t what she wanted. Unfortunately, I couldn't deal with that.
“Why the kiss then?”
“She was confused and emotional.”
“What about you?” Why did wewe kiss her?
"Do I need to have a sex education class with you?"
"House."
“Because she was confused and emotional.
"House I see wewe are back to deflecting.”
It works out better than honesty. The last time I was honest I plowed my car into a dining room.
So where do wewe go from here?
Hopefully not into another dining room. I have a fail-safe plan actually. “We go backwards and pretend like it never happened.”
“Do wewe really think wewe can pretend it didn’t happen?” wewe want to pretend like wewe do not have a child?
Don’t do that. Cuddy thought I would be a lousy father. “Why do wewe think she didn’t tell me?” Then I had a moment that I was there for her and the baby and she thinks now, once again, maybe, "he can do this." Once she thinks about it she will realize I would be a lousy father.
Maybe she believes in wewe zaidi than wewe believe in yourself.Why do wewe think wewe would be a lousy father? Does that have anything to do with your father?
I made peace with my father and all that entails. He was tough but he was fair. He wanted me to be a good man.
“That’s why he put wewe in ice when wewe did something wrong.”
It has nothing to do with anything now! Don’t do that!
“I think it does.” wewe don’t feel that he accepted wewe and wewe don’t “really” believe anyone ever could accept wewe if they saw who wewe were. wewe push people away and wewe have been hiding behind the pills and the sarcasm because deep down wewe don’t trust anyone not to hurt you.
“Well wewe really don’t need me for this conversation so I will go back to the hospital.”
“House.” Don't run from this. wewe will never get far enough and the bottom of a vicodin bottle au a fifth of Scotch is beneath anything wewe can do. “You have a deep sense of loyalty and a deep longing for love.” To have what wewe desire wewe have to take a chance and be willing to get hurt.
“What do wewe want me to do?”
"Face your fears." “Talk to Cuddy.” Slow this down. Get to know your son and see what that situation looks like. Find out what Dr. Cuddy wants and then find out if wewe want the same things. Have a relationship with your son.
“I don’t know how.”
“Why?”
Without Cuddy how do I ……? Just holding the baby will be …………. I don’t know what to do. I can’t onyesha Cuddy weakness because that is what she expects. I will disappoint her. I will fail “again.” And I will lose her again.
House it doesn’t have to end badly. I can help wewe through this. wewe won’t lose anything but wewe will gain a lot. “You can trust me.”
And as he nodded, he looked at him for a moment. What if I do my best and she doesn't want me?
Then you'll know and wewe can songesha on. wewe will find someone that wewe belong with if wewe are willing to take a chance.
She is in my soul. The way she walks, the way she raises her eyebrow and takes a breath when she is lying to me, the way she bites her lip when she is thinking au afraid.
So go to her and be willing to get hurt.
When he arrived back at the hospital Foreman and Thirteen had a diagnosis and was awaiting him to get the approval for treatment.
Chase was still running labs on the patient he and Taub had been assigned. “Where is Taub?” “Rachel went into labor who was followed immediately kwa Ruby,” Chase replied.
Chase give me twenty dakika and I will come back and help wewe with the labs. “Chase looked at him very puzzled” but thanked him.
House went into to see Cuddy as she was in the almost finished feeding the baby.
“Wilson alisema wewe took two cases."
“Yes one is solved and I am going to help Chase with the other one.”
“You left suddenly earlier.”
“I went to see Dr. Nolan.”
“Are wewe ok?”
“I’m fine but I need to talk to wewe about my father and about us.” I want to slow down and see if we can be friends. I want to see if I can be a good father. I can’t do it to please wewe and I don’t want to play any games.
"My father was abusive and I ended up shutting down and closing myself off." He wasn't my father and the summer I confronted him about it made everything so much worse. I thought that was why he was so mean because he didn't upendo me and maybe I wasn't really that bad. I was angry at my mom for not stopping him, I thought I must be pretty horrible if my own mother wouldn't defend me. When wewe alisema I do anything to avoid pain wewe were right.
Intimcy is so hard for me I allowed wewe in closer than anyone else but I also treated wewe like my mom. In the ways that I didn't lash out at her I did you. wewe were the bulleye for all my rage all these years and I am sorry.
I am so sorry. I always knew behind those eyes was a very hurt little boy. I wasn't ready for wewe but I wasn't ready to lose wewe either. I had always wanted wewe and I didn't know what to do. I wanted zaidi of wewe and to me wewe were coming unglued and shutting me out. wewe made me better but I didn't make wewe better.
"Can we start over?" Cuddy wewe have been a good friend and a good boss. wewe have allowed me to be a great doctor because wewe have believed in that gift inside me. Can we wipe the slate clean?
“Do wewe want to hold him?”
"Yes." Have wewe decided on a name?
"I thought maybe we could do that together."
She gently put this tiny little bundle into his arms. He felt overwhelmed but he kept his moyo still as he looked down at his son.
"He thought to himself,"my son." He moved the blanket back a little and he kissed his tiny forehead. As Cuddy was watching him she could see a man that was coming to terms with things.
Just a few moments later he looked up to find Cuddy had fallen asleep. He paged a nurse to have Chase come to Cuddy’s room.
“How is the case going Chase?”
“Foreman and Thirteen came to help me.” Just stay with the baby we will keep wewe updated. As House nodded Chase looked back at him and smiled just a bit.
House sat down in the chair they had brought in for him. He rocked him to sleep and he shut his eyes too. Maybe this was there new beginning. for the first time he really thought they could all songesha on.
