Joey and Rachel
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Season 9 Episode 24 Script
Season 9 Episode 24 Scriptmaneno muhimu: rachel and joey, rachel green, Marafiki, Joey Tribbiani
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It was called Marafiki - shabiki Club Français de Marafiki
Here's some stuff I remembered seeing:
fanfr.com > scripts > saison9
Titre FR : Celui qui allait la Barbade - Partie 2
Écrit par Marta Kauffman et David Crane Réalisé par Kevin S. Bright
Fiche dtaille et photos - Titres Saison 9 - Résumé de l\'épisode - Script en français
[Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table]
Monica: I cant believe shes gonna say yes to David. Shes clearly in love with Mike.
Chandler: You know, its very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monicas)
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say.
Monica: Oh my God, hes gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, lets go.
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) youre an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didnt help!
David: But well, now that were together again, I dont ever want to be apart. So, to that end...
(David produces the ring. At the same time, Mike walks in, behind David)
Mike: Hi David. Chandler. Monica... (Looks at Monica, checking her big hair, aghast) Oh!
Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here?
David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself.
Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
David: (annoyed) Ok, would you care for my seat as well?
David: Thats fair, youve had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandlers table)
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say.
Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this.
David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.
Mike: Youre the most incredible woman Ive ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I dont actually have a ring...
Chandler: I wouldnt brag too much about that thing, big guy.
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
(they hold their hands, gazing at each other)
Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
David: Please, you dont have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadnt gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldnt have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.]
Chandler: Oh, aint this nice? Its so quiet, I could just lie here all day.
Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes!
Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and Ill get the magazines and the lotion.
Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys!
[Scene: Conference room. Ross is making his keynote speech]
Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating.
Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, Im so jealous!
Ross: Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus...
Chandler: (to a paleontologist sitting next to him) Not to mention the cold sores.
Ross: And thats just the herbivores. Im not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful!
Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully).
Ross: (with a frozen smile on his face, realizing somethings wrong with Jarvis) Ok... now... now were just holding hands! (pulls his hand away)
Rachel: All right! Well, uh... (to Monica) were gonna hit the beach?
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I cant tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
Mike: (popping by, smiling) Youre kidding, we wouldnt have missed it!
Ross: (skating over, embarrassed) Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah?
Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave)
(Ross goes towards Charlie, whos conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
Ross: Oh, I cant tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
Ross: No, its ok! Made me feel like a rock star!
Ross: (joking) Id better not found you naked in my hotel room!
(Ross giggles, but Charlie isnt amused at all.)
Ross: (realizing his joke wasnt so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far!
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]
Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I cant believe its raining again! Oh, its so unfair!!!
(They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks)
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you wont have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff.
Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Lets play!
Chandler: Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say its cute, others disagree, and Im lying!
Chandler: Oh, yeah? What happened when we played last time?
(Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look)
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkels breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Charlie: Im sorry, I cant! Im running a discussion group all afternoon.
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but thats ok, Ill find someone else to do it... Ill do it alone, but... I dont know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Charlie: You know... I feel so bad! I havent seen you this whole trip and (pauses) especially last night...
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Dont worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Rosss speech... (pulls a face)
Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least were both having fun!
Charlie: ... is it weird that its not with each other?
Charlie: (sitting down on the bed) I think we need to talk...!
Joey: Yeah... I think we do... (sighs, with folded arms)... about what?
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Phoebe: All right, all right... Ill play if we dont keep score!
Monica: So, were just four losers... SUPER!
Phoebe: Mike, you dont know, you dont know what youre doing!
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
(Monica and Mike start to play ping pong. Mike scores)
Chandler: (nearly whispering) Oh dear God, theres two of them!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you!
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him!
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
Mike: Oh, no! I dont think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
[Scene: Rachels hotel room. She is watching the Weather Channel on TV.]
Alexandra Steele: (meteorologist) (pointing to the East Coast)... all these coasts having beautiful weather. In New York, its 72 and sunny!
Rachel: Its open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe!
Joey: Oh well, she said we have nothing in common.
Joey: No, its not, we have nothing in common!
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
(He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed)
Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls?
Rachel: W-What are you, what are you talking about?
Joey: Oh, cmon, I mean, theres you, then theres Charlie, and its like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Rachel: Ok... uh... maybe youre not always going after the wrong girl...
Joey: (sitting up again) Im telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me!
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)
Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about?
Rachel: No, I-I-I-I dont, I actually dont know who Im talking about! So!
Joey: Ok! All right, well... Im gonna see if I can get a room for the night and Ill... Ill see you later!
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once hes out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
[Scene: Rachels hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Rachel: (nearly whispering) Ok, lets not make a big thing about this!
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Heres the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe theyre crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, Ive been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, whos totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Rachel: I dont know, Im not trying to do anything, its just, we have such a good time when were together, you know... I mean, arent you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?...
Joey: Uh, am I curious? I mean, I am as curious as... as... George!!
Joey: CURIOUS GEORGE! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat!
Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what Im talking about!
Joey: No, I know, yeah I know were great but Rach no... this... this cant happen!
Rachel: But can it... just... happen a little bit?
Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It cant happen at all!
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldnt do it to Ross!
Rachel: But that wasnt gonna stop you before!
Joey: I know, I know! But Ive thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldnt be right... (painfully) Im sorry...!
Rachel: (regretful) Im sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldnt have said anything!
Joey: NO! No-no-no-no-no-no! Hey! Hey, well be fine! Li... hey, like you said: no big deal!
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
(Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away)
[Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
Monica: Ooh! Im sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... youre not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that Ive felt like the more attractive one.
Phoebe: Cmon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him!
Monica: (threatening) Dont get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Mike: And thats how its done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Chandler: Okay-dokay, youve each won a game and Ive lost whats felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.
Chandler: Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?
Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump.
Phoebe: (to Mike) Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back.
[Scene: hotels bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking]
Mr. Oberblau: Im just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks. If you ever want to get away from the city, well, thatd be (pause) just nifty!
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldnt love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, youre back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, whats going on?
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but were just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Charlie: Anyway I just, uh, I think its for the best.
Charlie: I guess. There was um... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk were kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later?
Professore Clerk: Or we could throw you both in now!
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Arent we a little old for this? I mean, were scientists, right? Were academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
[Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to beat him!
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, youve already proven you are just as good as he is, now weve missed our dinner reservations, so now lets just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: I cant just walk away! Ive put in four hours!
Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness!
(they start playing again; suddenly Monica hits the table with her hand)
Monica: (in pain) Aww! (she holds her hand, moaning like shes biting back a scream)
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, Im ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and its more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I cant play!
Mike: Oh, thats ok. I dont care which of them I beat.
Phoebe: Ok, were taking that paddle home, mister.
Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you dont have to do this.
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if its important to you then its important to me, because I love you.
Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) Youre welcome, sweetheart.
Chandler: All right Mike, lets get this over with. Sudden death. Whoever wins this point, wins.
(They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all)
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didnt want you to know how good I was!
Monica: This is so great! Now we can enter into doubles tournaments!
[Scene: Hotels bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. Shes hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
Charlie: Um, so, I started to say you something earlier, um... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
Ross: I think I know too but Ive been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think itd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachels room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the cameras "face". And thats the end of the ninth season.)
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