Destiny, it's a word that sits with us all and makes us wonder what our true purpose in this world is, where it lies, and how it plays out in the end.
See I live in a world where people believe that wewe are assigned a certain job in the territory wewe a born in then that is what wewe are going to do with your life, wewe can't leave au decide on any other clear path because that's the only one that looks like it's set out for you. For most it's easier for them to accpet it than fight against it and I completely understand why, It's harder to speak your mind when there's no one there to listen to wewe explain it.
The swali is do I feel this way? do i feel as if this is right and I should just accept it?. To be completely honest I'm not sure anymore.
growing up I've learned that it's harder to fight a battle wewe know wewe aren't going to win so what's the point in starting it. And in this district it's easy enough to say everyone respects the law aliyopewa kwa our government zaidi than swali it like I do.
I've yet found a person to explain these thoughts to who won't think I'm crazy and rebelious. these thoughts are what people in my district like to call "impure" and they are also illegal. So I believe it's easier just to keep these thoughts to yourself so wewe won't get yourself into any trouble.
And If what your getting at this is that I have issues trusting people that's not the case, It's hard to not be able to express yourself, and through the years growing up I've noticed the laws have gotten a lot zaidi strict.
Sure I have a lot of people to trust in my life, my older brother, my parents, my friends. But it's harder to express your thoughts to them while wewe know wewe are putting them at risk for breaking the law.
I'm from a farming district in the middle of no where really, but I couldn't picture myself being anywhere else because from the looks of things I'm never getting out of this place. I'm not saying I hate it here it's just I don't see my purpose being here.
It may sound like I'm being rebelious against my nyumbani but it's just too perfect to be real, It has to end sometime. This peace.
I've always wondered about the rest of the world, what it looks like, what the people are like. I wish I could know, that's one of the many things I wanted in my life, to be able to see the world.
The warm and blinding afternoon sun shined above me hitting the full rimmed beige hat i wore with the strap hanging under my chin.
I had been out her since seven in the morning picking fresh baskets of berries ranging from raspberries, blueberries, to even strawberries to go out and sell later at the market in town.
Finally after about twenty zaidi dakika I was able to finish filling four baskets of berries and I started to make my way back to my house as two baskets hung on each side of my arms.
The cool breeze blew against me and my hair swayed in it, sure it was peaceful here ,but there was always something deep inside of me thinking, that this is too perfect to stay this way forever. That something had to happen.
The wooden steps of my porch creaked each time I took a step on them, I then pulled open the screen door and let it swing closed behind me.
I walked down the small hallway and into the jikoni where my mother chopped some vegetables which were probably for a kitoweo, mchuzi we were having for chajio, chakula cha jioni and placed down the baskets on the jikoni table.
"Hi sweetie done already?" she smiled glancing at me only for a moment before looking back at what she was doing.
"Yeah I got out there nice and early so I could finish faster " I replied letting out a deep sigh of exhaustion before pulling my hat back and letting the chin strap hang around from the front of my lower neck.
"Your brother should be back soon, so he can drive wewe down to town today" she said.
"Alright" I alisema walking over to her and standing inayofuata to her watching her cut up the last couple of potatoes, "anything I can help wewe with?".
"I'm fine thanks" she smiled, " But today I need wewe to go kwa and grab some zaidi apples from the orchard in town after wewe close up the stand" .
"Okay" I smiled when my attention was turned to the engine in the drive way turning down, a couple doors slamming, and the front door opening moments later with my older brother Daniel walking in through the hallway into the kitchen.
"Where's dad?" I questioned.
"He went upstairs to sleep, he had a long day" Daniel answered me before glancing over at mom.
Daniel's a mwaka and a half older than me making him 18, I would say he's fairly tall with brown eyes and natural wavy brown hair.
"Dan I need wewe to drive Amelia to town" my mother alisema meeting his eyes and he responded with a nod before his eyes met with mine again.
"Are wewe ready to go?" He asked.
"Yeah" I alisema grabbing the four baskets from the jikoni meza, jedwali walking past him towards the door.
"What time do I need to pick her up?" I heard Daniel ask.
When I assume my mother responded with a time I heard him say okay.
I made my way down the porch steps and towards the car, When I got to the car I placed the baskets in the back of the jeep shina and closed it.
I then got into the passenger side as Daniel got in the drivers and closed my door shortly after him.
He turned the key into ignition starting the car and did a "u" turn down the small dirt road that was our driveway before turning on a bigger one.
---
Dirty looking smoke rose from behind us as Daniel sped down the dirt road.
The drive into town took about an hour.
"So how are you?" Daniel asked breaking the silent conversation between us.
"Tired" I admit, " you?".
"Same" he chuckled lightly only glancing at me occasionally so he kept his eyes on the road ahead of us.
"Where did wewe and dad go this morning?" I asked.
"I went to help dad collect some supplies for the crops" He alisema before he spoke again, " Dads been being a little too stubborn and I don't trust him going alone incase he gets hurt" he finished.
From the side view I had on his face I could tell Daniel was stressed. His lips were thin as he bit as his lower lip and he furrowed his eyebrows as if he were thinking. Daniel was the type of person to worry about others. Sure it was a good quality to have when he's helping, but I could imagine the strain of constant stress wasn't exactly good for him.
But there was also something else I didn't like in Daniel's tone. As if he wasn't telling me everything.
"Dan? Is there something wewe aren't telling me? Is dad not well again?".
He replied In silence keeping his eyes on the road. Unbelievable.
"Dan answer me" irritation from my unknowing began to erupt.
"Melia....it's-".
"Why would wewe even hide this from mom and I" I spoke angrily too incased in my feelings to listen to what he has to say
My dad's been sick before and in that time it didn't look like he was goingt o make it. To be honest it was a mircale he had gotten better and lived this long. About seven years zamani we had found out he had a tumor in his brain. But kwa the time we were looking at treating it there was nothing doctors could do, it was too big and had spread too much to fully get rid of it. It wouldn't surprise me if he was getting bad again I knew it was going to happen sooner au later and I guess tellign myself that somehow made it easier.
I hadn't seen much of my dad to notice any changes and I began to wonder if that was what Daniel's plan was, to keep it hidden from me.
My train of thought had lasted a long time now and Daniel took an oppurtunity to speak.
"It may not even be that bad...I may just be overthinking things again" he muttered glancing at me with an attempted reassuring smile that I just knew wasn't even convincing him. looked away from him glancing down at my hands in my lap.
"Yeah..." I muttered looking out my side of the car at the open fields that were crops we drove past forf the inayofuata saa au so.
---
Daniel pulled to the side of the gravol road as i got out closing the door behind me.
"I'll be back around seven to pick wewe up" he called out as I continued to walk into the small market that was outside.
I didn't know what to think right now I wasn't very happy with him yet a part of me felt like he was just trying to do the best for mom and I. I had conflicted anger towards him and I felt not responding was easiest for me at the moment.
Suprisingly the siku was going kwa fast, the sales were frequent which made time pass faster and actually gave me something to do.
This continued for the inayofuata couple of hours but subtly died down a bit throughout the time. I was bent down grabbing zaidi of the foursized drawstring bags we had at the stand.
"Excuse me?" A husky yet gentle tone came from above me across the wooden counter.
Startled I jumped and shot up not expecting the sudden presence of another customer dropping the bags quickly collecting them off the ground on my knees. From the deepness of the persons tone I could tell it was a male.
"Just a moment sir" I called from the ground flustered.
Quickly I stood up placing the bags on the left side of the counter before glancing up to meet a rich pair of caramel, karmeli brown-eyes. As I scanned the rest of the male infront of me he was tall, slim but well built at the same time, had a dsitinctive jawline that well defined his features, and a faded colour of blue hair with hint's of blonde and other cold blended colours in it.
Still flustered I could tell my cheeks were turning a deeper shade of red as I stared speechless at the attrative and handsome boy infront of me.
"I uh- was wondering how much the berries cost" he spoke out breaking the small moment of silence between us that felt like an eternity to me.
" Um- it depends on the size wewe wanted" I answered trying to play off the little incident that just took place between us.
He blinked a couple times obviously thinking as he reached into his pocket pulling out three golden coins and placed them on the counter.
"How much would this get me?" he asked.
"A small" I answered picking up the one of the small drawstring bags on the counter and inaonyesha it to him.
I could see a little disappointment fill in his eyes but he just nodded, " Sure I'll take that".
"Okay" I alisema turning around and beginning to fill the small bag with different the selection of berries we had.
From behind me I could hear the drumming of his fingers rattle on the counter behind me and gently glanced over to notice him looking behind and around him biting his lower lip as if he were adgitated au nervous. To my disadvatnage his eyes met with mine again catching me staring at him before I quickly turned around finishing filling the bag.
I walked back over to the front counter handing him the bag, " Have a nice siku uh-".
"Kian" he spoke smirking lightly revelaing a dimple on his right cheek before turning around and making his way quickly out of the market.
Weirdly enough I kept my eyes fixed on the tall figure that continued it's way into the distance glancing back and oddly making its way down a hilled ditched into the wooded area inayofuata to the market.
Something was strange about Kian, and I didn't know if it was something that would lead to anything good. But strangely enough I was willing to take that risk for this mysterious boy.
(( I'll post the prologue on this club :) if wewe want to continue kusoma this fanfic heres the link on Wattpad :)
link ))
See I live in a world where people believe that wewe are assigned a certain job in the territory wewe a born in then that is what wewe are going to do with your life, wewe can't leave au decide on any other clear path because that's the only one that looks like it's set out for you. For most it's easier for them to accpet it than fight against it and I completely understand why, It's harder to speak your mind when there's no one there to listen to wewe explain it.
The swali is do I feel this way? do i feel as if this is right and I should just accept it?. To be completely honest I'm not sure anymore.
growing up I've learned that it's harder to fight a battle wewe know wewe aren't going to win so what's the point in starting it. And in this district it's easy enough to say everyone respects the law aliyopewa kwa our government zaidi than swali it like I do.
I've yet found a person to explain these thoughts to who won't think I'm crazy and rebelious. these thoughts are what people in my district like to call "impure" and they are also illegal. So I believe it's easier just to keep these thoughts to yourself so wewe won't get yourself into any trouble.
And If what your getting at this is that I have issues trusting people that's not the case, It's hard to not be able to express yourself, and through the years growing up I've noticed the laws have gotten a lot zaidi strict.
Sure I have a lot of people to trust in my life, my older brother, my parents, my friends. But it's harder to express your thoughts to them while wewe know wewe are putting them at risk for breaking the law.
I'm from a farming district in the middle of no where really, but I couldn't picture myself being anywhere else because from the looks of things I'm never getting out of this place. I'm not saying I hate it here it's just I don't see my purpose being here.
It may sound like I'm being rebelious against my nyumbani but it's just too perfect to be real, It has to end sometime. This peace.
I've always wondered about the rest of the world, what it looks like, what the people are like. I wish I could know, that's one of the many things I wanted in my life, to be able to see the world.
The warm and blinding afternoon sun shined above me hitting the full rimmed beige hat i wore with the strap hanging under my chin.
I had been out her since seven in the morning picking fresh baskets of berries ranging from raspberries, blueberries, to even strawberries to go out and sell later at the market in town.
Finally after about twenty zaidi dakika I was able to finish filling four baskets of berries and I started to make my way back to my house as two baskets hung on each side of my arms.
The cool breeze blew against me and my hair swayed in it, sure it was peaceful here ,but there was always something deep inside of me thinking, that this is too perfect to stay this way forever. That something had to happen.
The wooden steps of my porch creaked each time I took a step on them, I then pulled open the screen door and let it swing closed behind me.
I walked down the small hallway and into the jikoni where my mother chopped some vegetables which were probably for a kitoweo, mchuzi we were having for chajio, chakula cha jioni and placed down the baskets on the jikoni table.
"Hi sweetie done already?" she smiled glancing at me only for a moment before looking back at what she was doing.
"Yeah I got out there nice and early so I could finish faster " I replied letting out a deep sigh of exhaustion before pulling my hat back and letting the chin strap hang around from the front of my lower neck.
"Your brother should be back soon, so he can drive wewe down to town today" she said.
"Alright" I alisema walking over to her and standing inayofuata to her watching her cut up the last couple of potatoes, "anything I can help wewe with?".
"I'm fine thanks" she smiled, " But today I need wewe to go kwa and grab some zaidi apples from the orchard in town after wewe close up the stand" .
"Okay" I smiled when my attention was turned to the engine in the drive way turning down, a couple doors slamming, and the front door opening moments later with my older brother Daniel walking in through the hallway into the kitchen.
"Where's dad?" I questioned.
"He went upstairs to sleep, he had a long day" Daniel answered me before glancing over at mom.
Daniel's a mwaka and a half older than me making him 18, I would say he's fairly tall with brown eyes and natural wavy brown hair.
"Dan I need wewe to drive Amelia to town" my mother alisema meeting his eyes and he responded with a nod before his eyes met with mine again.
"Are wewe ready to go?" He asked.
"Yeah" I alisema grabbing the four baskets from the jikoni meza, jedwali walking past him towards the door.
"What time do I need to pick her up?" I heard Daniel ask.
When I assume my mother responded with a time I heard him say okay.
I made my way down the porch steps and towards the car, When I got to the car I placed the baskets in the back of the jeep shina and closed it.
I then got into the passenger side as Daniel got in the drivers and closed my door shortly after him.
He turned the key into ignition starting the car and did a "u" turn down the small dirt road that was our driveway before turning on a bigger one.
---
Dirty looking smoke rose from behind us as Daniel sped down the dirt road.
The drive into town took about an hour.
"So how are you?" Daniel asked breaking the silent conversation between us.
"Tired" I admit, " you?".
"Same" he chuckled lightly only glancing at me occasionally so he kept his eyes on the road ahead of us.
"Where did wewe and dad go this morning?" I asked.
"I went to help dad collect some supplies for the crops" He alisema before he spoke again, " Dads been being a little too stubborn and I don't trust him going alone incase he gets hurt" he finished.
From the side view I had on his face I could tell Daniel was stressed. His lips were thin as he bit as his lower lip and he furrowed his eyebrows as if he were thinking. Daniel was the type of person to worry about others. Sure it was a good quality to have when he's helping, but I could imagine the strain of constant stress wasn't exactly good for him.
But there was also something else I didn't like in Daniel's tone. As if he wasn't telling me everything.
"Dan? Is there something wewe aren't telling me? Is dad not well again?".
He replied In silence keeping his eyes on the road. Unbelievable.
"Dan answer me" irritation from my unknowing began to erupt.
"Melia....it's-".
"Why would wewe even hide this from mom and I" I spoke angrily too incased in my feelings to listen to what he has to say
My dad's been sick before and in that time it didn't look like he was goingt o make it. To be honest it was a mircale he had gotten better and lived this long. About seven years zamani we had found out he had a tumor in his brain. But kwa the time we were looking at treating it there was nothing doctors could do, it was too big and had spread too much to fully get rid of it. It wouldn't surprise me if he was getting bad again I knew it was going to happen sooner au later and I guess tellign myself that somehow made it easier.
I hadn't seen much of my dad to notice any changes and I began to wonder if that was what Daniel's plan was, to keep it hidden from me.
My train of thought had lasted a long time now and Daniel took an oppurtunity to speak.
"It may not even be that bad...I may just be overthinking things again" he muttered glancing at me with an attempted reassuring smile that I just knew wasn't even convincing him. looked away from him glancing down at my hands in my lap.
"Yeah..." I muttered looking out my side of the car at the open fields that were crops we drove past forf the inayofuata saa au so.
---
Daniel pulled to the side of the gravol road as i got out closing the door behind me.
"I'll be back around seven to pick wewe up" he called out as I continued to walk into the small market that was outside.
I didn't know what to think right now I wasn't very happy with him yet a part of me felt like he was just trying to do the best for mom and I. I had conflicted anger towards him and I felt not responding was easiest for me at the moment.
Suprisingly the siku was going kwa fast, the sales were frequent which made time pass faster and actually gave me something to do.
This continued for the inayofuata couple of hours but subtly died down a bit throughout the time. I was bent down grabbing zaidi of the foursized drawstring bags we had at the stand.
"Excuse me?" A husky yet gentle tone came from above me across the wooden counter.
Startled I jumped and shot up not expecting the sudden presence of another customer dropping the bags quickly collecting them off the ground on my knees. From the deepness of the persons tone I could tell it was a male.
"Just a moment sir" I called from the ground flustered.
Quickly I stood up placing the bags on the left side of the counter before glancing up to meet a rich pair of caramel, karmeli brown-eyes. As I scanned the rest of the male infront of me he was tall, slim but well built at the same time, had a dsitinctive jawline that well defined his features, and a faded colour of blue hair with hint's of blonde and other cold blended colours in it.
Still flustered I could tell my cheeks were turning a deeper shade of red as I stared speechless at the attrative and handsome boy infront of me.
"I uh- was wondering how much the berries cost" he spoke out breaking the small moment of silence between us that felt like an eternity to me.
" Um- it depends on the size wewe wanted" I answered trying to play off the little incident that just took place between us.
He blinked a couple times obviously thinking as he reached into his pocket pulling out three golden coins and placed them on the counter.
"How much would this get me?" he asked.
"A small" I answered picking up the one of the small drawstring bags on the counter and inaonyesha it to him.
I could see a little disappointment fill in his eyes but he just nodded, " Sure I'll take that".
"Okay" I alisema turning around and beginning to fill the small bag with different the selection of berries we had.
From behind me I could hear the drumming of his fingers rattle on the counter behind me and gently glanced over to notice him looking behind and around him biting his lower lip as if he were adgitated au nervous. To my disadvatnage his eyes met with mine again catching me staring at him before I quickly turned around finishing filling the bag.
I walked back over to the front counter handing him the bag, " Have a nice siku uh-".
"Kian" he spoke smirking lightly revelaing a dimple on his right cheek before turning around and making his way quickly out of the market.
Weirdly enough I kept my eyes fixed on the tall figure that continued it's way into the distance glancing back and oddly making its way down a hilled ditched into the wooded area inayofuata to the market.
Something was strange about Kian, and I didn't know if it was something that would lead to anything good. But strangely enough I was willing to take that risk for this mysterious boy.
(( I'll post the prologue on this club :) if wewe want to continue kusoma this fanfic heres the link on Wattpad :)
link ))
