[Shot of Kate walking up the beach, pwani with bananas. She finds Sawyer's clothes and a paperback edition of Watership Down.]
SAWYER: [from the ocean] Hell of a book. It's about bunnies.
[We see Sawyer coming out of the ocean naked.]
KATE: [looking Sawyer up and down] Must be cold without your trunks.
SAWYER: wewe bet. How about wewe come a little closer and warm me up?
KATE: wewe sure know how to make a girl feel special, Sawyer.
[Kate walks away.]
[We see Sawyer in a hotel room in kitanda with a woman, Jess.]
JESS: You're incredible Sawyer.
SAWYER: I upendo you. Look at you. What do wewe want, right now?
JESS: How could I want anything else?
[Jess notices the time.]
JESS: Oh, uh-oh, baby.
SAWYER: Oh, what.
JESS: I thought wewe had a meeting.
SAWYER: Yeah, but it's not until 3:30.
JESS: Baby, it's 3:28.
SAWYER: Damn it. Damn it. Baby, why don't wewe just, uh...
JESS: No, just go. wewe go, okay, I'll stay here -- order room service, get fat.
SAWYER: Why don't wewe order a chokoleti sundae -- when I get back, I'll use wewe as a dish.
[Sawyer pulls a brief case from on juu of the armoire and money spills out.]
SAWYER: wewe weren't exactly supposed to see that.
[Shot of Sawyer in the jungle. He hears rustling noises. He starts running and comes across Boone in his stuff.]
SAWYER: What are wewe doing in my stuff, son?
[Shot of Sayid being doctored kwa Jack.]
JACK: This is going to hurt. Ready to tell me what happened?
SAYID: We were trying to find the chanzo of the distress call. I saw the flare from the beach, pwani and then the flare from Sawyer's position in the jungle. I switched on my antenna, activated the transceiver, and then -- darkness. Whoever hit me came from behind.
JACK: And destroyed the equipment?
SAYID: Yes.
JACK: Listen, we're going to figure this out, but don't do anything. . .
SAYID: I will do whatever I need to do to find the man responsible.
[Shannon and Boone enter the caves. Boone is wounded.]
SHANNON: We need some help over here.
JACK: What happened?
BOONE: Sawyer.
hariri Act 2
[Shot of Claire uandishi in her diary. Charlie approaches with some water.]
CHARLIE: Morning delivery.
CLAIRE: Awww, you're sweet, thanks.
CHARLIE: Well, I figured in your condition, with the extra baggage, wewe know. . .
CLAIRE: Well, I can still walk.
CHARLIE: Barely. Anyway, I worry about wewe out here. wewe know, it's very -- sunny.
CLAIRE: Thus, my hat.
CHARLIE: There's plenty of hats in the caves. And we've got a doctor there, as well. That'll come in handy.
CLAIRE: I like the beach, Charlie.
CHARLIE: Yeah, who wouldn't want to spend the siku with sand fleas.
CLAIRE: I want to be here -- for when we get rescued.
CHARLIE: When we get rescued, right.
[Shot of Boone getting doctored kwa Jack.]
BOONE: Jack, it's fine. It's just a scrape.
JACK: Yeah, lot's of scrapes today. I'm running out of peroxide.
BOONE: He just jumped me man. I didn't. . .
JACK: Why?
BOONE: Shannon has asthma.
JACK: Asthma?
BOONE: Yeah.
JACK: I've never seen her have an attack before.
BOONE: Because she had an inhaler. She's sneaks hits when no one's looking. She's been embarrassed about it since she was a little kid. I guess breathing's not cool.
JACK: Had an inhaler?
BOONE: It ran out a couple of days ago. But I had 4 refills which should have been enough for a couple of months. But she always forgets her medication so I put it my suitcase. Today I see that jackass kusoma Watership Down.
JACK: You're losing me.
BOONE: It was in my bags, the stuff that I checked. If he has my book he has my luggage, if he has the luggage he has the inhalers. Her breathing got really rough today, man. If she has an attack, it's not going to be good.
[Shot of Sawyer kusoma his letter, smoking a cigarette. Jack enters and starts going through Sawyer's stuff. Sawyer folds his letter fast.]
JACK: Where is it?
SAWYER: Hey, Doc. Long time no see.
JACK: Where is it?
SAWYER: Where's what?
JACK: The girl's asthma medicine. Shannon -- her inhalers.
SAWYER: Oh, that.
JACK: wewe attacked a kid for trying to help his sick sister.
SAWYER: No, I whooped a thief cuz he was going through my stuff.
JACK: Yours? What makes it yours? What, wewe think wewe can just take something out of a suitcase and that makes it yours?
SAWYER: Which I had to songesha because everybody just wants to help themselves. Look, I don't know what kind of commie share-fest you're running over in cave town, but down here possession's 9/10ths. And a man's got a right to protect his property.
JACK: Get up.
SAWYER: Why, wewe want to see who's taller?
JACK: Get up.
SAWYER: wewe sure wewe want to make this your problem, Doc?
JACK: Oh yeah. I'm sure.
[Sawyer gets up. Kate enters.]
KATE: Hey, what's going on here?
[Jack walks away, Kate follows.]
[Sawyer and Jess are in the hotel room.]
JESS: wewe told me wewe were going to Baton Rouge to close a deal.
SAWYER: Just trust me, there isn't any time to explain. I'm already late. I miss this meeting, the whole deal's a bust, alright? That's everything I have. 140,000 dollars. There's an oil mining operation in the Gulf of Mexico -- drilling platforms. 300,000 dollars buys one share, but as soon as wewe invest a Government sponsored fund kicks in and triples your money in two weeks. Triples it.
JESS: 300,000?
SAWYER: Yeah.
JESS: You've got 140.
SAWYER: I found an investor in Toronto -- wants in 50/50. In two weeks we'll be splitting almost a million bucks. Jess, this is my chance.
JESS: There's another option.
SAWYER: Yeah, and what's that?
JESS: That I give wewe the 160,000 and we mgawanyiko, baidisha the profit.
SAWYER: Yeah, and how in the hell are wewe going to scare up 160,000 bucks?
JESS: My husband.
[Shot of Kate and Jack on beach.]
JACK: I'm going to kill him.
KATE: That's not going to help us get the medicine.
JACK: Maybe not, but it'll feel good.
KATE: So what's stopping you?
JACK: We're not savages, Kate. Not yet.
KATE: Let me talk to Sawyer.
JACK: What makes wewe think he's going to listen to you?
KATE: He says we have a connection.
JACK: Do you?
KATE: Please.
[Shot of Sawyer chopping wood.]
KATE: What do wewe want?
SAWYER: Excuse me?
KATE: What do wewe want, Sawyer?
SAWYER: Freckles, I got so many majibu to that question, I wouldn't even know where to start.
KATE: What do wewe want for the inhalers?
SAWYER: Ah, good question. Hang on a tick. What do I want? A kiss ought to do it.
KATE: What?
SAWYER: A kiss, from you, right now?
KATE: I don't buy it.
SAWYER: Buy what?
KATE: The act. wewe try too hard, Sawyer. I ask wewe to help a woman who can't breath and wewe want me to kiss you? Nobody's that disgusting. I've seen you, wewe know.
SAWYER: Seen me what?
KATE: With that piece of paper -- the one wewe keep in your pocket. Seen the expression on your face when wewe read it and how carefully wewe fold it up. It means something to you. So wewe can play games all wewe want, but I know there's a human being in there somewhere. Give me the medication.
SAWYER: wewe think wewe understand me?
KATE: Yeah. I think I have. . .
SAWYER: Shut up. wewe want to know what kind of human being I am? [He hands her his letter] Read it. Read it. Out loud.
KATE: Dear Mr. Sawyer, wewe don't know who I am but I know who wewe are and I know what wewe done. wewe had sex with my mother and then wewe aliiba my dad's money all away. So he got angry and he killed my mother and then he killed himself, too.
SAWYER: Don't stop now. You're just getting to the good part.
KATE: All I know is your name. But one of these days I'm going to find wewe and I'm going to give wewe this letter so you'll remember what wewe done to me. wewe killed my parents, Mr. Sawyer.
SAWYER: Now about that kiss... I didn't think so.
hariri Act 3
[Shot of a kisu sharpening a stick to a point.]
SAYID: Locke, where were wewe last night, around sunset?
LOCKE: Well, I'm afraid the only witness to my whereabouts is the boar, au ngombe that I was skinning for our dinner. I heard wewe were trying to send out a distress call. So it would seem whoever attacked wewe has a reason for not wanting to get off the island. Maybe someone who is profiting from our current circumstances? And from what I've seen wewe and Mr. Sawyer share a certain animosity.
SAYID: No, he has an alibi. Just before I was struck, he set off a bottle rocket, a signal we had worked out -- 2 kilometers away. He wouldn't have the time to go. . .
LOCKE: Unless he found a way to time delay the fuse on his rocket.
SAYID: How could he possibly have. . .
LOCKE: Anyone who watches televisheni knows how to improvise a slow fuse. Use a cigarette. [Locke offers Sayid his knife] Just in case there's a inayofuata time.
[Shot of Shannon gasping. Shot of Jack looking through his stash of medicine. We see Sun looking on.]
BOONE: Just try to breathe. Breathe. Come on Shann work with me.
[Sawyer walks to the caves to get some water. Jack approaches.]
JACK: Give me the inhalers -- now.
SAWYER: Hell, I wondered when wewe were going to stop asking nice.
[Jack slugs him.]
SAWYER: Well, it's about time, cowboy. Been telling wewe since siku one, we're in the wild. Didn't think wewe had it in you.
[Jack slugs him again.]
SAWYER: That all wewe got?
[We see Sawyer at a restaurant with Jess and her husband, David.]
SAWYER: I'm not sure this is such a good idea.
JESS: Why not?
SAWYER: Because business between Marafiki is always a little sticky. I don't know wewe well, but I know your wife. Working with her at the auto dealership, I'm just not sure I'm comfortable.
DAVID: Louisiana will invest two thirds of the drilling costs. What is this? A loophole?
SAWYER: Look, David, you're reluctant. I get it. wewe got your lumbar yard, wewe don't need this.
JESS: wewe should do this.
DAVID: Jess, I don't even know this guy.
JESS: onyesha him the cash.
DAVID: How do I know this is real?
SAWYER: The money? Hell, how about wewe hold on to it for a night. Check it out. I want wewe to feel secure. wewe know what? Let's not do this. I've got another investor who's already committed.
JESS: David?
SAWYER: [putting 300 down on the table] This should cover lunch. And I'll see wewe Monday [to Jess]. David.
JESS: David?
DAVID: Wait.
[Shot of Claire and Charlie on the beach.]
CLAIRE: Warm fluffy towels. Your turn.
CHARLIE: Uh, banoffee pie.
CLAIRE: wewe already alisema that.
CHARLIE: Toffee and cream, mmmm.
CLAIRE: Is chakula the only thing that wewe miss?
CHARLIE: You're pregnant. I mean, do wewe not crave anything? Pickles, fried ice cream, chocolate?
CLAIRE: karanga butter. I'm the only Australian who loves karanga butter.
CHARLIE: I could get wewe karanga butter.
CLAIRE: Yeah, sure wewe can.
CHARLIE: Yes, I can. And when I get wewe karanga siagi wewe have to vacate this sandy pwani of depression and songesha to the caves. Deal?
CLAIRE: Deal.
[Shot of Shannon gasping.]
BOONE: Help, she's not breathing. The attacks are getting worse.
JACK: Shannon, listen to me. Look at me, look at me. wewe need to listen now. This isn't just the asthma, it's anxiety. It's in your head.
SHANNON: No.
JACK: Yes. wewe know that your medicine's run out and you're panicking. Shannon, Shannon, look at me. We can fight this, together, okay? Nod your head, Shannon. Good. Breathe in through. . .
BOONE: She needs her inhaler.
JACK: Boone! [to Shannon] Breathe in through your nose, slowly. No, no, no. In through the nose, like this. wewe can do this Shannon. wewe can do it. In through the nose. wewe got your breath. Yeah. Your color's coming back. See, I knew wewe could do this. Do wewe feel it?
SHANNON: Yes.
JACK: It's passing. Okay. Again, in through the nose. Alright, just keep doing that. Keep breathing like that. That's perfect, good job.
[Jack takes Boone aside.]
JACK: Keep her relaxed. Do not let her panic.
BOONE: Yeah. Yeah.
HURLEY: Wow, man. That was awesome. I mean, that was like a -- Jedi moment.
[We see Jack walking out of the caves. Sayid follows.]
SAYID: Jack, what will happen if she doesn't get the medicine? [Jack shrugs] Then we have to make Sawyer give it to us.
JACK: Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.
SAYID: No, not you, me. I served 5 years in the Republican Guard.
JACK: I thought wewe were a communications officer.
SAYID: Part of my training entailed getting the enemy to communicate. Just give me 10 dakika with him. He'll give us the medicine. [Jack doesn't respond] Is that a yes?
JACK: [taking a long moment] Yes.
hariri Act 4
[Shot of Charlie and Hurley walking in the jungle.]
HURLEY: chakula from the plane's been gone for over a week, dude.
CHARLIE: What, no secret stash for emergencies? wewe and Jack have got a bunch of stuff in that cave.
HURLEY: Sorry, man. No karanga butter. No peanuts. No nothing.
CHARLIE: Yeah, but, there's got to be something. I mean, look at you.
HURLEY: Look at what?
CHARLIE: No, no. Listen.
HURLEY: Fat guy hoarding the food, is that what wewe think?
CHARLIE: No. It's just we've been here for two weeks and you've not really. . .
HURLEY: Slimmed down much?
CHARLIE: All I need is a bag of peanuts.
HURLEY: I have no food, alright? And for the record, I'm down a notch in my belt. I'm a big guy, it's going to be a while before you're going to want to give me a piggy back ride, okay?
CHARLIE: Sorry. Sorry, that was bad form.
HURLEY: Yeah. I'm used to it.
CHARLIE: So, not even a bag of. . .
HURLEY: Dude. . .
CHARLIE: Okay. Alright, I'm sorry.
[Shot of Michael trying to clean a samaki and getting it all over himself.]
MICHAEL: Aaah, damn, stupid...
SUN: Michael -- the sick girl. [Sun makes breathing sounds]
MICHAEL: Yeah. Asthma.
SUN: Yes, asthma. I think I can help her.
[Shot of Sawyer sleeping in an airline seat. He awakens and looks up to see Sayid.]
SAYID: [with a big metal pipe poised over Sawyer's head] Good morning.
[We see Jack and Sayid dragging Sawyer away.]
KATE: What are wewe doing? Jack.
JACK: This was Sawyer's choice, not mine.
KATE: If wewe do this. . .
[We see Sawyer tied to a tree. Sayid splashes water on his face to bring him to.]
SAWYER: Well, ain't wewe the brave one, jumping a guy while he's napping. Uh-oh, I'm in trouble now, ain't I?
JACK: Sawyer, I'm giving wewe the chance to do the right thing. Now, all I want is the asthma medicine. Just tell me where the inhalers are and we'll stop.
SAWYER: Stop what, Chico?
[Shot of Sayid making bamboo spikes.]
JACK: It doesn't have to be this way.
SAWYER: Yeah, it does.
SAYID: We do not have bamboo in Iraq, although we do have something similar -- reeds. But their effect is the same when the shoots are inserted underneath the fingernails.
SAWYER: wewe know what I think, Ali. I think you've never actually tortured anybody in your life.
SAYID: Unfortunately for us both, you're wrong.
[Sayid starts with the bamboo under the fingernails.]
SAWYER: That's it? That's all wewe got? Splinters? No wonder we kicked your punda in the Gulf. . . [he screams].
JACK: Sayid. Sayid!
SAWYER: No. Don't stop now. I think my sinuses are clearing.
JACK: What the hell is wrong with you?
SAYID: Perhaps losing an eye will loosen your tongue?
SAWYER: Okay, okay.
SAYID: Where is it?
SAWYER: The only person I'll tell is her.
JACK: Kate?
SAWYER: That's the deal.
[We see Sawyer playing pool with his buddy Kilo in a pool hall.]
KILO: Tell me Sawyer, do wewe want to die? Because when a man walks in my place and tells me he left a 160,000 of my hard won dollars in the care of a civilian I've got to ask myself if what I'm hearing isn't the desperate cry for the sweet release of death.
SAWYER: Deal closed today. See, women are easy -- a few cosmos, a couple of stunts they haven't seen between the sheets, and they think the scam's their idea. Now husbands, they need to touch the money, smell it -- believe that if they had the brass to put that suitcase in the shina of their family sedan and speed away, they just might have a chance at being an honest-to-gosh outlaw.
KILO: Okay, Tex. wewe got your grift so pat, what'd wewe need my money for? Where's your seed from the last couple wewe roped?
SAWYER: Well, what can I say? I like earning it as much as I like spending it.
KILO: Be that as it may, I know a thing au two about making people suffer. Now wewe have my money, plus 50%, kwa noon tomorrow au I'll tell wewe all about it.
[Shot of Kate with Sawyer.]
KATE: So I'm here. Where is it?
SAWYER: Happy to tell you, as soon as I get that kiss.
KATE: What? Are wewe serious?
SAWYER: Baby, I am tied to a mti in a jungle of mystery. I just got tortured kwa a damn spinal surgeon and a gen-u-ine I-raqi. Of course, I'm serious. You're just not seeing the big picture here, Freckles. wewe really going to let that girl suffocate because wewe can't bring yourself to give me one little kiss? Hell, it's only first base. Lucky for wewe I ain't greedy.
KATE: Okay.
SAWYER: Okay.
[They kiss.]
SAWYER: I don't have it.
KATE: What?
SAWYER: The medicine. I don't have it, never did.
KATE: The book -- they alisema wewe found it in their luggage.
SAWYER: The book washed up on shore, went in the drink with the rest of. . .
[Kate elbows him across the face. Then we see her walking toward Jack and Sayid.]
KATE: He doesn't have it.
JACK: What?
SAYID: He's lying. Can't wewe see that? He's been lying from the beginning. He doesn't want us to get off this island. That's why he attacked me.
JACK: Hold on a minute.
SAYID: He destroyed the transceiver.
JACK: wewe don't know that. Sayid!
[Sayid runs back to Sawyer. Sawyer is loosening the bindings on his wrist. Sayid and Sawyer struggle. Sayid stabs him in the arm. Sayid holds his arms out, like it was an accident. Jack pulls the kisu out, blood spurts out.]
JACK: wewe hit an artery. [to Sawyer] Keep still damn it. Sayid, I need my stuff from the caves, my leather backpack. Go.
[Jack is pinching Sawyer's artery closed.]
KATE: Can wewe make it stop?
hariri Act 5
[Shot of Sayid back at the caves. Boone sitting with Shannon.]
BOONE: [running to Sayid] Whose blood is that? Whose blood is that?
SAYID: Sawyer.
BOONE: wewe went after Sawyer and wewe didn't even tell me? She's my sister.
SHANNON: Boone, don't leave me alone, okay?
BOONE: I'm not going anywhere, okay?
SHANNON: Okay.
[Shot of Michael coming in while Sayid runs out. Sun approaches Michael.]
MICHAEL: [holding out some branches] Are these the right ones? I think I found the right tree, but I'm guessing.
SUN: [smelling the cuttings] Just let me see. Oh yes, good.
[Jin enters, yelling. Sun walks away. Jin looks at Michael angrily.]
MICHAEL: Don't, man. I'm telling you, don't.
[Shot of Kate and Jack keeping Sawyer still.]
SAWYER: Let go. I know wewe want to.
JACK: Shut up. And stop moving.
SAWYER: You've been waiting for this, haven't you? Now wewe get to be the hero again, because that's what wewe do -- fix everything up all nice. Tell him to let go, Freckles. We already made out, what else I got to live for? Hey, Jack, there's something wewe should know -- if the tables were turned, I'd watch wewe die.
[We see Sawyer at David and Jess' house, finalizing the deal.]
SAWYER: Alrighty. It looks like we're in the oil business.
DAVID: We're cool?
SAWYER: Oh, we're cool.
DAVID: We get the money back?
SAWYER: Week from tomorrow, tripled.
DAVID: You're not going to skip town, are you?
JESS: David, for god's sake, he left all his money with us. We could've skipped town.
SAWYER: Smart woman wewe got there, David. Don't let her go.
[A kid comes into the room.]
JESS: Hi, baby. What are wewe doing up? Are wewe feeling better?
BOY: Will wewe read to me?
JESS: In a dakika sweetheart. We have company right now.
[Sawyer is looking at the kid, very sad.]
DAVID: wewe okay?
SAWYER: Deal's off.
DAVID: Excuse me?
SAWYER: Deal's off, forget it.
JESS: What are wewe doing?
DAVID: Hold on, what is this, a joke?
SAWYER: I'm calling it off, walking away.
DAVID: You're not walking out of here. wewe know what I had to do for this? All this money in one day?
SAWYER: Take your hand off me, boy.
JESS: Sawyer?
DAVID: What's going on here?
JESS: This isn't how is was supposed to work. wewe alisema that we were. . .
DAVID: Said? What'd he say Jessica?
[Sawyer leaves the money and walks out.]
[Shot of Sawyer waking up with bandage, Kate is with him.]
KATE: You're lucky to be alive.
SAWYER: Jack?
KATE: Went to the caves to check on Shannon. [She holds up Sawyer's letter] I read it again, and then again, because I've been trying to figure out why wewe beat up Boone instead of just telling him wewe didn't have his sister's medication. Why wewe pretended to have it anyway. The thing that I keep coming back around to is that wewe want to be hated. Then I looked at the envelope -- America's bicentennial, Knoxville, TN. wewe were just a kid, 8 maybe 9 years old.
SAWYER: Kate.
KATE: This letter wasn't written to you. wewe wrote this letter. Your name's not Sawyer, is it?
SAWYER: It was his name. He was a confidence man. Romanced my momma to get to the money, wiped them out clean, left a mess behind. So I wrote that letter. I wrote it knowing one siku I'd find him. But that ain't the sad part. When I was 19, I needed 6 grand to pay these guys off I was in trouble with. So I found a pretty lady with a dumb husband who had some money. And I got them to give it to me. How's that for a tragedy? I became the man I was hunting. Became Sawyer. Don't wewe feel sorry for me. [He grabs the letter from her]. Get the hell out. Get out!
hariri Act 6
[Shot of Sun putting a Eucalyptus paste on Shannon, holding it in front of her nose.]
BOONE: [to Jack] I don't know. It's a miracle. She just showed up with that mixture. She rubbed it on Shannon's chest and 10 dakika later she was breathing.
JACK: [smelling it] Eucalyptus -- smart, Jack. [to Sun] Thank you, very much.
[Shot of Charlie gathering Claire's clothes.]
CLAIRE: What are wewe doing?
CHARLIE: Packing your stuff, you're moving to the caves.
CLAIRE: wewe didn't? karanga butter? No way.
CHARLIE: Just like wewe ordered. Oh, there is one thing. It's extra smooth.
CLAIRE: That's okay.
[Charlie opens an empty jar.]
CLAIRE: It's empty.
CHARLIE: What? No, no it's not. It's full, full to the brim, with stick to the roof of your mouth, oh, god, makes wewe want a glass of maziwa extra smooth. It's the best bloody karanga siagi I've ever tasted. wewe want some? [Claire tries the imaginary karanga butter.]
[Shot of Kate at the beach, looking out at the ocean. Sayid walks by.]
KATE: Sayid?
SAYID: I can't stay here.
KATE: What?
SAYID: I'm leaving. I don't know for how long.
KATE: Sayid, wewe can't. We still don't know what's out there.
SAYID: I've worse things to fear than what's in the jungle. What I did today, what I almost did, I swore to do never again. If I can't keep that promise, I have no right to be here.
KATE: There's nowhere to go.
SAYID: Someone has to walk the pwani and map the island, see what else there is. I can't think of a better person to do it than the only one I trust. I hope we meet again.
[He kisses her hand and leaves.]
Retrieved from "http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Confidence_Man_transcript"
SAWYER: [from the ocean] Hell of a book. It's about bunnies.
[We see Sawyer coming out of the ocean naked.]
KATE: [looking Sawyer up and down] Must be cold without your trunks.
SAWYER: wewe bet. How about wewe come a little closer and warm me up?
KATE: wewe sure know how to make a girl feel special, Sawyer.
[Kate walks away.]
[We see Sawyer in a hotel room in kitanda with a woman, Jess.]
JESS: You're incredible Sawyer.
SAWYER: I upendo you. Look at you. What do wewe want, right now?
JESS: How could I want anything else?
[Jess notices the time.]
JESS: Oh, uh-oh, baby.
SAWYER: Oh, what.
JESS: I thought wewe had a meeting.
SAWYER: Yeah, but it's not until 3:30.
JESS: Baby, it's 3:28.
SAWYER: Damn it. Damn it. Baby, why don't wewe just, uh...
JESS: No, just go. wewe go, okay, I'll stay here -- order room service, get fat.
SAWYER: Why don't wewe order a chokoleti sundae -- when I get back, I'll use wewe as a dish.
[Sawyer pulls a brief case from on juu of the armoire and money spills out.]
SAWYER: wewe weren't exactly supposed to see that.
[Shot of Sawyer in the jungle. He hears rustling noises. He starts running and comes across Boone in his stuff.]
SAWYER: What are wewe doing in my stuff, son?
[Shot of Sayid being doctored kwa Jack.]
JACK: This is going to hurt. Ready to tell me what happened?
SAYID: We were trying to find the chanzo of the distress call. I saw the flare from the beach, pwani and then the flare from Sawyer's position in the jungle. I switched on my antenna, activated the transceiver, and then -- darkness. Whoever hit me came from behind.
JACK: And destroyed the equipment?
SAYID: Yes.
JACK: Listen, we're going to figure this out, but don't do anything. . .
SAYID: I will do whatever I need to do to find the man responsible.
[Shannon and Boone enter the caves. Boone is wounded.]
SHANNON: We need some help over here.
JACK: What happened?
BOONE: Sawyer.
hariri Act 2
[Shot of Claire uandishi in her diary. Charlie approaches with some water.]
CHARLIE: Morning delivery.
CLAIRE: Awww, you're sweet, thanks.
CHARLIE: Well, I figured in your condition, with the extra baggage, wewe know. . .
CLAIRE: Well, I can still walk.
CHARLIE: Barely. Anyway, I worry about wewe out here. wewe know, it's very -- sunny.
CLAIRE: Thus, my hat.
CHARLIE: There's plenty of hats in the caves. And we've got a doctor there, as well. That'll come in handy.
CLAIRE: I like the beach, Charlie.
CHARLIE: Yeah, who wouldn't want to spend the siku with sand fleas.
CLAIRE: I want to be here -- for when we get rescued.
CHARLIE: When we get rescued, right.
[Shot of Boone getting doctored kwa Jack.]
BOONE: Jack, it's fine. It's just a scrape.
JACK: Yeah, lot's of scrapes today. I'm running out of peroxide.
BOONE: He just jumped me man. I didn't. . .
JACK: Why?
BOONE: Shannon has asthma.
JACK: Asthma?
BOONE: Yeah.
JACK: I've never seen her have an attack before.
BOONE: Because she had an inhaler. She's sneaks hits when no one's looking. She's been embarrassed about it since she was a little kid. I guess breathing's not cool.
JACK: Had an inhaler?
BOONE: It ran out a couple of days ago. But I had 4 refills which should have been enough for a couple of months. But she always forgets her medication so I put it my suitcase. Today I see that jackass kusoma Watership Down.
JACK: You're losing me.
BOONE: It was in my bags, the stuff that I checked. If he has my book he has my luggage, if he has the luggage he has the inhalers. Her breathing got really rough today, man. If she has an attack, it's not going to be good.
[Shot of Sawyer kusoma his letter, smoking a cigarette. Jack enters and starts going through Sawyer's stuff. Sawyer folds his letter fast.]
JACK: Where is it?
SAWYER: Hey, Doc. Long time no see.
JACK: Where is it?
SAWYER: Where's what?
JACK: The girl's asthma medicine. Shannon -- her inhalers.
SAWYER: Oh, that.
JACK: wewe attacked a kid for trying to help his sick sister.
SAWYER: No, I whooped a thief cuz he was going through my stuff.
JACK: Yours? What makes it yours? What, wewe think wewe can just take something out of a suitcase and that makes it yours?
SAWYER: Which I had to songesha because everybody just wants to help themselves. Look, I don't know what kind of commie share-fest you're running over in cave town, but down here possession's 9/10ths. And a man's got a right to protect his property.
JACK: Get up.
SAWYER: Why, wewe want to see who's taller?
JACK: Get up.
SAWYER: wewe sure wewe want to make this your problem, Doc?
JACK: Oh yeah. I'm sure.
[Sawyer gets up. Kate enters.]
KATE: Hey, what's going on here?
[Jack walks away, Kate follows.]
[Sawyer and Jess are in the hotel room.]
JESS: wewe told me wewe were going to Baton Rouge to close a deal.
SAWYER: Just trust me, there isn't any time to explain. I'm already late. I miss this meeting, the whole deal's a bust, alright? That's everything I have. 140,000 dollars. There's an oil mining operation in the Gulf of Mexico -- drilling platforms. 300,000 dollars buys one share, but as soon as wewe invest a Government sponsored fund kicks in and triples your money in two weeks. Triples it.
JESS: 300,000?
SAWYER: Yeah.
JESS: You've got 140.
SAWYER: I found an investor in Toronto -- wants in 50/50. In two weeks we'll be splitting almost a million bucks. Jess, this is my chance.
JESS: There's another option.
SAWYER: Yeah, and what's that?
JESS: That I give wewe the 160,000 and we mgawanyiko, baidisha the profit.
SAWYER: Yeah, and how in the hell are wewe going to scare up 160,000 bucks?
JESS: My husband.
[Shot of Kate and Jack on beach.]
JACK: I'm going to kill him.
KATE: That's not going to help us get the medicine.
JACK: Maybe not, but it'll feel good.
KATE: So what's stopping you?
JACK: We're not savages, Kate. Not yet.
KATE: Let me talk to Sawyer.
JACK: What makes wewe think he's going to listen to you?
KATE: He says we have a connection.
JACK: Do you?
KATE: Please.
[Shot of Sawyer chopping wood.]
KATE: What do wewe want?
SAWYER: Excuse me?
KATE: What do wewe want, Sawyer?
SAWYER: Freckles, I got so many majibu to that question, I wouldn't even know where to start.
KATE: What do wewe want for the inhalers?
SAWYER: Ah, good question. Hang on a tick. What do I want? A kiss ought to do it.
KATE: What?
SAWYER: A kiss, from you, right now?
KATE: I don't buy it.
SAWYER: Buy what?
KATE: The act. wewe try too hard, Sawyer. I ask wewe to help a woman who can't breath and wewe want me to kiss you? Nobody's that disgusting. I've seen you, wewe know.
SAWYER: Seen me what?
KATE: With that piece of paper -- the one wewe keep in your pocket. Seen the expression on your face when wewe read it and how carefully wewe fold it up. It means something to you. So wewe can play games all wewe want, but I know there's a human being in there somewhere. Give me the medication.
SAWYER: wewe think wewe understand me?
KATE: Yeah. I think I have. . .
SAWYER: Shut up. wewe want to know what kind of human being I am? [He hands her his letter] Read it. Read it. Out loud.
KATE: Dear Mr. Sawyer, wewe don't know who I am but I know who wewe are and I know what wewe done. wewe had sex with my mother and then wewe aliiba my dad's money all away. So he got angry and he killed my mother and then he killed himself, too.
SAWYER: Don't stop now. You're just getting to the good part.
KATE: All I know is your name. But one of these days I'm going to find wewe and I'm going to give wewe this letter so you'll remember what wewe done to me. wewe killed my parents, Mr. Sawyer.
SAWYER: Now about that kiss... I didn't think so.
hariri Act 3
[Shot of a kisu sharpening a stick to a point.]
SAYID: Locke, where were wewe last night, around sunset?
LOCKE: Well, I'm afraid the only witness to my whereabouts is the boar, au ngombe that I was skinning for our dinner. I heard wewe were trying to send out a distress call. So it would seem whoever attacked wewe has a reason for not wanting to get off the island. Maybe someone who is profiting from our current circumstances? And from what I've seen wewe and Mr. Sawyer share a certain animosity.
SAYID: No, he has an alibi. Just before I was struck, he set off a bottle rocket, a signal we had worked out -- 2 kilometers away. He wouldn't have the time to go. . .
LOCKE: Unless he found a way to time delay the fuse on his rocket.
SAYID: How could he possibly have. . .
LOCKE: Anyone who watches televisheni knows how to improvise a slow fuse. Use a cigarette. [Locke offers Sayid his knife] Just in case there's a inayofuata time.
[Shot of Shannon gasping. Shot of Jack looking through his stash of medicine. We see Sun looking on.]
BOONE: Just try to breathe. Breathe. Come on Shann work with me.
[Sawyer walks to the caves to get some water. Jack approaches.]
JACK: Give me the inhalers -- now.
SAWYER: Hell, I wondered when wewe were going to stop asking nice.
[Jack slugs him.]
SAWYER: Well, it's about time, cowboy. Been telling wewe since siku one, we're in the wild. Didn't think wewe had it in you.
[Jack slugs him again.]
SAWYER: That all wewe got?
[We see Sawyer at a restaurant with Jess and her husband, David.]
SAWYER: I'm not sure this is such a good idea.
JESS: Why not?
SAWYER: Because business between Marafiki is always a little sticky. I don't know wewe well, but I know your wife. Working with her at the auto dealership, I'm just not sure I'm comfortable.
DAVID: Louisiana will invest two thirds of the drilling costs. What is this? A loophole?
SAWYER: Look, David, you're reluctant. I get it. wewe got your lumbar yard, wewe don't need this.
JESS: wewe should do this.
DAVID: Jess, I don't even know this guy.
JESS: onyesha him the cash.
DAVID: How do I know this is real?
SAWYER: The money? Hell, how about wewe hold on to it for a night. Check it out. I want wewe to feel secure. wewe know what? Let's not do this. I've got another investor who's already committed.
JESS: David?
SAWYER: [putting 300 down on the table] This should cover lunch. And I'll see wewe Monday [to Jess]. David.
JESS: David?
DAVID: Wait.
[Shot of Claire and Charlie on the beach.]
CLAIRE: Warm fluffy towels. Your turn.
CHARLIE: Uh, banoffee pie.
CLAIRE: wewe already alisema that.
CHARLIE: Toffee and cream, mmmm.
CLAIRE: Is chakula the only thing that wewe miss?
CHARLIE: You're pregnant. I mean, do wewe not crave anything? Pickles, fried ice cream, chocolate?
CLAIRE: karanga butter. I'm the only Australian who loves karanga butter.
CHARLIE: I could get wewe karanga butter.
CLAIRE: Yeah, sure wewe can.
CHARLIE: Yes, I can. And when I get wewe karanga siagi wewe have to vacate this sandy pwani of depression and songesha to the caves. Deal?
CLAIRE: Deal.
[Shot of Shannon gasping.]
BOONE: Help, she's not breathing. The attacks are getting worse.
JACK: Shannon, listen to me. Look at me, look at me. wewe need to listen now. This isn't just the asthma, it's anxiety. It's in your head.
SHANNON: No.
JACK: Yes. wewe know that your medicine's run out and you're panicking. Shannon, Shannon, look at me. We can fight this, together, okay? Nod your head, Shannon. Good. Breathe in through. . .
BOONE: She needs her inhaler.
JACK: Boone! [to Shannon] Breathe in through your nose, slowly. No, no, no. In through the nose, like this. wewe can do this Shannon. wewe can do it. In through the nose. wewe got your breath. Yeah. Your color's coming back. See, I knew wewe could do this. Do wewe feel it?
SHANNON: Yes.
JACK: It's passing. Okay. Again, in through the nose. Alright, just keep doing that. Keep breathing like that. That's perfect, good job.
[Jack takes Boone aside.]
JACK: Keep her relaxed. Do not let her panic.
BOONE: Yeah. Yeah.
HURLEY: Wow, man. That was awesome. I mean, that was like a -- Jedi moment.
[We see Jack walking out of the caves. Sayid follows.]
SAYID: Jack, what will happen if she doesn't get the medicine? [Jack shrugs] Then we have to make Sawyer give it to us.
JACK: Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.
SAYID: No, not you, me. I served 5 years in the Republican Guard.
JACK: I thought wewe were a communications officer.
SAYID: Part of my training entailed getting the enemy to communicate. Just give me 10 dakika with him. He'll give us the medicine. [Jack doesn't respond] Is that a yes?
JACK: [taking a long moment] Yes.
hariri Act 4
[Shot of Charlie and Hurley walking in the jungle.]
HURLEY: chakula from the plane's been gone for over a week, dude.
CHARLIE: What, no secret stash for emergencies? wewe and Jack have got a bunch of stuff in that cave.
HURLEY: Sorry, man. No karanga butter. No peanuts. No nothing.
CHARLIE: Yeah, but, there's got to be something. I mean, look at you.
HURLEY: Look at what?
CHARLIE: No, no. Listen.
HURLEY: Fat guy hoarding the food, is that what wewe think?
CHARLIE: No. It's just we've been here for two weeks and you've not really. . .
HURLEY: Slimmed down much?
CHARLIE: All I need is a bag of peanuts.
HURLEY: I have no food, alright? And for the record, I'm down a notch in my belt. I'm a big guy, it's going to be a while before you're going to want to give me a piggy back ride, okay?
CHARLIE: Sorry. Sorry, that was bad form.
HURLEY: Yeah. I'm used to it.
CHARLIE: So, not even a bag of. . .
HURLEY: Dude. . .
CHARLIE: Okay. Alright, I'm sorry.
[Shot of Michael trying to clean a samaki and getting it all over himself.]
MICHAEL: Aaah, damn, stupid...
SUN: Michael -- the sick girl. [Sun makes breathing sounds]
MICHAEL: Yeah. Asthma.
SUN: Yes, asthma. I think I can help her.
[Shot of Sawyer sleeping in an airline seat. He awakens and looks up to see Sayid.]
SAYID: [with a big metal pipe poised over Sawyer's head] Good morning.
[We see Jack and Sayid dragging Sawyer away.]
KATE: What are wewe doing? Jack.
JACK: This was Sawyer's choice, not mine.
KATE: If wewe do this. . .
[We see Sawyer tied to a tree. Sayid splashes water on his face to bring him to.]
SAWYER: Well, ain't wewe the brave one, jumping a guy while he's napping. Uh-oh, I'm in trouble now, ain't I?
JACK: Sawyer, I'm giving wewe the chance to do the right thing. Now, all I want is the asthma medicine. Just tell me where the inhalers are and we'll stop.
SAWYER: Stop what, Chico?
[Shot of Sayid making bamboo spikes.]
JACK: It doesn't have to be this way.
SAWYER: Yeah, it does.
SAYID: We do not have bamboo in Iraq, although we do have something similar -- reeds. But their effect is the same when the shoots are inserted underneath the fingernails.
SAWYER: wewe know what I think, Ali. I think you've never actually tortured anybody in your life.
SAYID: Unfortunately for us both, you're wrong.
[Sayid starts with the bamboo under the fingernails.]
SAWYER: That's it? That's all wewe got? Splinters? No wonder we kicked your punda in the Gulf. . . [he screams].
JACK: Sayid. Sayid!
SAWYER: No. Don't stop now. I think my sinuses are clearing.
JACK: What the hell is wrong with you?
SAYID: Perhaps losing an eye will loosen your tongue?
SAWYER: Okay, okay.
SAYID: Where is it?
SAWYER: The only person I'll tell is her.
JACK: Kate?
SAWYER: That's the deal.
[We see Sawyer playing pool with his buddy Kilo in a pool hall.]
KILO: Tell me Sawyer, do wewe want to die? Because when a man walks in my place and tells me he left a 160,000 of my hard won dollars in the care of a civilian I've got to ask myself if what I'm hearing isn't the desperate cry for the sweet release of death.
SAWYER: Deal closed today. See, women are easy -- a few cosmos, a couple of stunts they haven't seen between the sheets, and they think the scam's their idea. Now husbands, they need to touch the money, smell it -- believe that if they had the brass to put that suitcase in the shina of their family sedan and speed away, they just might have a chance at being an honest-to-gosh outlaw.
KILO: Okay, Tex. wewe got your grift so pat, what'd wewe need my money for? Where's your seed from the last couple wewe roped?
SAWYER: Well, what can I say? I like earning it as much as I like spending it.
KILO: Be that as it may, I know a thing au two about making people suffer. Now wewe have my money, plus 50%, kwa noon tomorrow au I'll tell wewe all about it.
[Shot of Kate with Sawyer.]
KATE: So I'm here. Where is it?
SAWYER: Happy to tell you, as soon as I get that kiss.
KATE: What? Are wewe serious?
SAWYER: Baby, I am tied to a mti in a jungle of mystery. I just got tortured kwa a damn spinal surgeon and a gen-u-ine I-raqi. Of course, I'm serious. You're just not seeing the big picture here, Freckles. wewe really going to let that girl suffocate because wewe can't bring yourself to give me one little kiss? Hell, it's only first base. Lucky for wewe I ain't greedy.
KATE: Okay.
SAWYER: Okay.
[They kiss.]
SAWYER: I don't have it.
KATE: What?
SAWYER: The medicine. I don't have it, never did.
KATE: The book -- they alisema wewe found it in their luggage.
SAWYER: The book washed up on shore, went in the drink with the rest of. . .
[Kate elbows him across the face. Then we see her walking toward Jack and Sayid.]
KATE: He doesn't have it.
JACK: What?
SAYID: He's lying. Can't wewe see that? He's been lying from the beginning. He doesn't want us to get off this island. That's why he attacked me.
JACK: Hold on a minute.
SAYID: He destroyed the transceiver.
JACK: wewe don't know that. Sayid!
[Sayid runs back to Sawyer. Sawyer is loosening the bindings on his wrist. Sayid and Sawyer struggle. Sayid stabs him in the arm. Sayid holds his arms out, like it was an accident. Jack pulls the kisu out, blood spurts out.]
JACK: wewe hit an artery. [to Sawyer] Keep still damn it. Sayid, I need my stuff from the caves, my leather backpack. Go.
[Jack is pinching Sawyer's artery closed.]
KATE: Can wewe make it stop?
hariri Act 5
[Shot of Sayid back at the caves. Boone sitting with Shannon.]
BOONE: [running to Sayid] Whose blood is that? Whose blood is that?
SAYID: Sawyer.
BOONE: wewe went after Sawyer and wewe didn't even tell me? She's my sister.
SHANNON: Boone, don't leave me alone, okay?
BOONE: I'm not going anywhere, okay?
SHANNON: Okay.
[Shot of Michael coming in while Sayid runs out. Sun approaches Michael.]
MICHAEL: [holding out some branches] Are these the right ones? I think I found the right tree, but I'm guessing.
SUN: [smelling the cuttings] Just let me see. Oh yes, good.
[Jin enters, yelling. Sun walks away. Jin looks at Michael angrily.]
MICHAEL: Don't, man. I'm telling you, don't.
[Shot of Kate and Jack keeping Sawyer still.]
SAWYER: Let go. I know wewe want to.
JACK: Shut up. And stop moving.
SAWYER: You've been waiting for this, haven't you? Now wewe get to be the hero again, because that's what wewe do -- fix everything up all nice. Tell him to let go, Freckles. We already made out, what else I got to live for? Hey, Jack, there's something wewe should know -- if the tables were turned, I'd watch wewe die.
[We see Sawyer at David and Jess' house, finalizing the deal.]
SAWYER: Alrighty. It looks like we're in the oil business.
DAVID: We're cool?
SAWYER: Oh, we're cool.
DAVID: We get the money back?
SAWYER: Week from tomorrow, tripled.
DAVID: You're not going to skip town, are you?
JESS: David, for god's sake, he left all his money with us. We could've skipped town.
SAWYER: Smart woman wewe got there, David. Don't let her go.
[A kid comes into the room.]
JESS: Hi, baby. What are wewe doing up? Are wewe feeling better?
BOY: Will wewe read to me?
JESS: In a dakika sweetheart. We have company right now.
[Sawyer is looking at the kid, very sad.]
DAVID: wewe okay?
SAWYER: Deal's off.
DAVID: Excuse me?
SAWYER: Deal's off, forget it.
JESS: What are wewe doing?
DAVID: Hold on, what is this, a joke?
SAWYER: I'm calling it off, walking away.
DAVID: You're not walking out of here. wewe know what I had to do for this? All this money in one day?
SAWYER: Take your hand off me, boy.
JESS: Sawyer?
DAVID: What's going on here?
JESS: This isn't how is was supposed to work. wewe alisema that we were. . .
DAVID: Said? What'd he say Jessica?
[Sawyer leaves the money and walks out.]
[Shot of Sawyer waking up with bandage, Kate is with him.]
KATE: You're lucky to be alive.
SAWYER: Jack?
KATE: Went to the caves to check on Shannon. [She holds up Sawyer's letter] I read it again, and then again, because I've been trying to figure out why wewe beat up Boone instead of just telling him wewe didn't have his sister's medication. Why wewe pretended to have it anyway. The thing that I keep coming back around to is that wewe want to be hated. Then I looked at the envelope -- America's bicentennial, Knoxville, TN. wewe were just a kid, 8 maybe 9 years old.
SAWYER: Kate.
KATE: This letter wasn't written to you. wewe wrote this letter. Your name's not Sawyer, is it?
SAWYER: It was his name. He was a confidence man. Romanced my momma to get to the money, wiped them out clean, left a mess behind. So I wrote that letter. I wrote it knowing one siku I'd find him. But that ain't the sad part. When I was 19, I needed 6 grand to pay these guys off I was in trouble with. So I found a pretty lady with a dumb husband who had some money. And I got them to give it to me. How's that for a tragedy? I became the man I was hunting. Became Sawyer. Don't wewe feel sorry for me. [He grabs the letter from her]. Get the hell out. Get out!
hariri Act 6
[Shot of Sun putting a Eucalyptus paste on Shannon, holding it in front of her nose.]
BOONE: [to Jack] I don't know. It's a miracle. She just showed up with that mixture. She rubbed it on Shannon's chest and 10 dakika later she was breathing.
JACK: [smelling it] Eucalyptus -- smart, Jack. [to Sun] Thank you, very much.
[Shot of Charlie gathering Claire's clothes.]
CLAIRE: What are wewe doing?
CHARLIE: Packing your stuff, you're moving to the caves.
CLAIRE: wewe didn't? karanga butter? No way.
CHARLIE: Just like wewe ordered. Oh, there is one thing. It's extra smooth.
CLAIRE: That's okay.
[Charlie opens an empty jar.]
CLAIRE: It's empty.
CHARLIE: What? No, no it's not. It's full, full to the brim, with stick to the roof of your mouth, oh, god, makes wewe want a glass of maziwa extra smooth. It's the best bloody karanga siagi I've ever tasted. wewe want some? [Claire tries the imaginary karanga butter.]
[Shot of Kate at the beach, looking out at the ocean. Sayid walks by.]
KATE: Sayid?
SAYID: I can't stay here.
KATE: What?
SAYID: I'm leaving. I don't know for how long.
KATE: Sayid, wewe can't. We still don't know what's out there.
SAYID: I've worse things to fear than what's in the jungle. What I did today, what I almost did, I swore to do never again. If I can't keep that promise, I have no right to be here.
KATE: There's nowhere to go.
SAYID: Someone has to walk the pwani and map the island, see what else there is. I can't think of a better person to do it than the only one I trust. I hope we meet again.
[He kisses her hand and leaves.]
Retrieved from "http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Confidence_Man_transcript"
