I was watching cartoons with AJ in the living room when there was a knock on the front door. I answered it to see Debbie's standing there with the biggest smile on her face. I raised my eyebrows and alisema "I haven't seen wewe smile that big since wewe told me wewe were pregnant with AJ. What's going on Debbie?" She whispered "I'm pregnant again Michael!" I immediately jumped up and down as I shouted "I told wewe it would work! wewe wanted to give up after wewe couldn't get pregnant a couple weeks ago; but I told wewe it would work!" She alisema "I was just worried because I'm getting older and my fertility isn't as good as it used to be. I'm just glad that I can give wewe the third of your three beautiful babies Michael."

I hugged her and she got ready to leave because she had to get to work. I went back into the living room and sat down inayofuata to AJ on the couch. I alisema "you're going to have another brother au sister soon AJ." She looked at me and alisema "yay; I'm going to be a big sister again!" I alisema "I think Grace is going to be surprised when she comes back tomorrow." AJ had a worried expression on her face and asked "why is she coming back daddy? wewe aren't going back to work are you?" I alisema "no I'm not AJ; don't worry! I'm not working for a while because I need to take a break after being busy for so long!" She sighed and alisema "good daddy; I don't want to be away from wewe ever again!" I alisema "you're going to have to be away from me at some point AJ!" She asked "why? You're my best friend daddy!" That made me almost want to cry because I had no idea that AJ thought of me as her best friend. I hugged her and alisema "you're my best friend too AJ!"

***

It's the beginning of June and there's been really good weather lately; so I decided to take the children outside. I like bringing AJ outside; but most of the time she makes me nervous because she doesn't like to listen to me. Neverland ranch is a really big place and I'm terrified that one siku she will get Lost because she's not listening to me and staying close by; where I can see her. Grace is here today and I'm glad because she can help me keep an eye on both AJ and Prince.

As soon as we got outside, AJ asked "can we go swimming?" I walked over to the pool and it was still covered up kwa a tarp because it had been raining. I lifted the edge of the tarp up and saw that the water was a disgusting green color. I knelt down inayofuata to AJ and alisema "we have to wait until one of the maintenance staff members clean it out because the water is all gross; I'm sorry AJ." To my surprise, AJ took the disappointment very well and started playing with the sidewalk chalk that was on the driveway. Grace was as surprised as I was and the two of us were waiting for the usual meltdown to happen.

I sat down inayofuata to Grace at the picnic meza, jedwali and she alisema "I can't believe that she didn't throw a fit Michael!" I alisema "I know; me either! Maybe today is going to be a good siku for AJ." Grace looked over my shoulder and alisema "I wouldn't get your hopes up Michael; look." AJ had found a tennis ball outside and was trying to throw it over the fence where my pet lama lives. Thankfully, she's only three years old and she's obviously too short to throw it over the juu of the fence. I walked up to her and knelt down inayofuata to her as I asked "what are wewe doing that for AJ?" She alisema " I’m trying to play catch with him!" I chuckled and alisema "good luck with that kiddo! He's a lama; not a puppy." She started to get frustrated which is always the precursor to the inevitable meltdown and I haven't quite figured out how to avoid the temper tantrums. I myself am a very logical person and I always try to understand where AJ is coming from.

I could tell she was getting zaidi and zaidi aggravated when she couldn't get the tennis ball over the juu of the fence; so I alisema "it's not going to work AJ! Plus, it wouldn't be very nice to throw a ball at him. Would wewe like that if I threw a ball at wewe and wewe couldn't catch it?" She responded "maybe; but I'm not going to throw it at him daddy! I want him to catch it!" I alisema "it's not going to work AJ because he's not a dog!" She started crying and I picked her up. She alisema "daddy, I want my own pet like wewe have!" I thought about it for sekunde and realized it might be a good negotiating tool to get AJ to listen to me because I'm running out of ideas and I'm desperate to get her to listen to me.

I alisema "I don't know AJ; I'll think about it!" Grace looked at me and whispered "are wewe crazy Michael?" I put AJ down on the ground and she ran off to go play with some of her toys. I walked up to Grace and she asked "you are not seriously considering getting a pet for three-year-old are you?" I alisema "I obviously know that I'm going to be taking care of it most of the time because she's so young; but most kids her age have a pet." She alisema "I don't think wewe know what you're getting yourself into Michael; but do whatever wewe want to."

***

Okay here's the deal, yesterday I bought AJ a pet goldfish because I thought it would be easy for me to take care of. Apparently I was wrong because when I got up this morning it was dead. Maybe this idea of getting a pet wasn't as good as I thought as it would be. Now I have to have a discussion about life-and-death with my three-year-old. I didn't even know if I really should say anything because I don't think she's going to be able to understand. Maybe I could use the whole "your samaki went to live on a farm" excuse; but I don't like lying to AJ. I don't know what I'm going to do.

AJ came downstairs with her hair all a mess and still looking half-asleep. She stumbled up to me and I picked her up as I kissed her forehead. She asked "how's Mr. fishy daddy? Did he get enough sleep?" I alisema to myself "yeah; maybe a bit too much sleep." I brought AJ into the living room and sat her down on my lap as I sat down on the couch. I alisema "Mr. fishy; he told me that he needed to go to heaven and he wanted me to tell wewe that he loves wewe a lot." She asked "will he come back?" I thought about it for sekunde and alisema "I'm sorry but no he won't; but you'll see him again someday!"

She surprisingly didn't ask any zaidi maswali because I don't think she really understood what had happened to the samaki and I'm glad that she didn't understand. I think it will be a long time before I feel comfortable buying AJ another pet because I have a feeling that as she gets older she will have many zaidi maswali than she did today. I'm just glad that that's over with because I was so worried that she would cry and it hurts me so much to hear her cry because she's my baby.

***

I was upstairs in my room practicing dance steps because I was bored and I didn't notice that AJ had walked into the room. She was sitting on the floor and watching me with her full attention. I stopped dancing for a sekunde because I was surprised that she wasn't fidgeting like she normally would be due to her ADHD. She alisema "daddy, I want to be just like wewe when I grow up!" I asked curiously "oh yeah; in what ways?" She alisema "I want to be famous daddy! I want to be a dancer and a singer like wewe are!" The only words I heard out of her mouth were "I want to be famous daddy" and I was stuck on that phrase. I was terrified because being famous isn't an easy thing; especially when you're as famous as I am. I had to give up so many things to get to where I am now and I honestly don't want that for my daughter.

I sat down on the floor inayofuata to her and alisema "well; you're only three years old right now and wewe have plenty of time to figure out what wewe want to be when wewe grow up AJ. Whatever wewe decide to be know that I'll support wewe no matter what! Just know that I want wewe to try your absolute hardest in whatever wewe do in life because that's what's going to get wewe anything wewe ever want and/or need." She looked at me confused and then I remembered that I was talking to a three-year-old; not a 20-year-old." I picked her up and took her downstairs to get something to eat because neither of us had eaten lunch yet.

After sitting her at the table, I went into the jikoni and looked to see what we had to eat. It'd been a while since I had one of the Neverland staff members go grocery shopping; so we didn't really have much. I absolutely hate giving AJ junk, taka chakula but I didn't really have any other choice because the person that usually does my grocery shopping had today off. The healthiest thing that I have left to give AJ for lunch was a karanga siagi and jelly sandwich, sandwichi and some potato chips.

I'll be honest and tell wewe that it's been a very long time since I've made myself au anyone else a sandwich, sandwichi and AJ was surprised when she took the first bite of the sandwich. I looked at AJ and asked "what's wrong?" She spit the bite out onto her plate and alisema "way too much karanga siagi daddy!" I chuckled and alisema "oh; sorry about that. Daddy a little rusty when it comes to making sandwiches; it's been a while." I grabbed the plate from her and started making her another sandwich, sandwichi because I knew she couldn't continue to eat the other one. I brought it back to the meza, jedwali and she took a bite. I asked "how's that?" She alisema "much better daddy; much better!"

***

My birthday is tomorrow and I'm looking mbele to just relaxing with the children for the day. There was a knock at the front door so I got up to answer it and Frank was standing there. I asked "Frank; what are wewe doing here? I'm not supposed to start working again for 3 1/2 zaidi months." Frank responded "your mother called me last week and told me that she thinks wewe need a break; so I'm taking wewe on a only guys vacation for the weekend." I was hesitant and asked "what do wewe expect me to do with the children?" He alisema "well of course bring them over to wewe mothers because she is the one who asked me to take wewe on a vacation in the first place."

I realized that Frank and my mother had been planning this for an entire week and I couldn't refuse because they had put so much time into it. I went upstairs and packed the bags of things for the children. After packing my bag, I went back downstairs and Frank had already carried AJ to the car. I took Prince to the car and I didn't tell AJ what was going to happen because I knew regardless that AJ would freak out.

When we got to Havenhurst, I helped bring the children inside and I knew I couldn't avoid telling AJ what was going to happen. I knelt down in front of her and alisema "I'm going to go somewhere with Frank for two days and you're going to stay here with grandma." AJ immediately started crying and I picked her up. I alisema "I always come back AJ! Grandma's going to have fun with wewe and I promise that I'll call wewe every night before wewe go to bed!" Mother grabbed AJ out of my arms and alisema "go ahead Michael; have fun! I'll get AJ to calm down. I have it under control!"

My moyo was tearing to pieces as I heard AJ crying "daddy; stay here!" Frank gently pushed me out of the door because I was so reluctant to leave AJ while she was crying. As we got into the car and Jeffrey started driving, Frank could see that I was visibly upset. I started tearing up and rubbing my eyes. Frank put his hand on my shoulder and alisema "AJ's fine Michael; I promise!" I alisema "I know that she's in the best hands with my mother; but it's just so hard leaving the children with anyone!" Frank alisema "I know; but it's better that AJ gets used to being away from wewe now because it's going to be zaidi difficult to handle the separation anxiety when she gets older Michael. We're only going to be 45 dakika away at a beach, pwani house; so if something does go wrong wewe can be there." I alisema "okay; that makes me feel at least a little bit better."

Jeffrey pulled up in front of a beachfront house and all of us got out of the car. I walked inside the beach, pwani house and alisema "wow Frank; wewe really outdid yourself!" He alisema "only the best for wewe Michael!" Frank opened up the refrigerator and tossed me a wine cooler. I alisema "I don't know about this Frank! I haven't had a drink since before AJ was born." Frank sat down inayofuata to me on the kitanda and alisema "that's exactly why wewe need to drink that!" I popped it open and hesitated before taking a sip. I alisema "WOW; that stronger than I expected it to be!"

I looked out the window and didn't even notice that we were on our own little private section of the beach. Frank stood inayofuata to me at the window and alisema "you, Jeffrey, and I should go down there Michael!" I alisema "okay; I'll meet wewe guys down there." While they went down to the beach, I couldn't help but call mother to see how the kids were doing. I dialed the phone number and sat back down on the couch. Mother asked "is everything alright Michael?" I alisema "yes mother; I'm just wondering how the kids are doing? Did AJ calm down? Did she stop crying?" She alisema "yes Michael; she's perfectly fine! She's watching a movie with me right now." I asked "can I talk to her?" She passed AJ the phone and I alisema "hi AJ; I miss you!"

Frank walked back inside the beach, pwani house and alisema "come on Mike; what's taking wewe so long?" He saw that I had the phone and took it out of my hands. I alisema "what? I was just checking up on the kids!" Frank put the phone up to his ear and alisema "give the phone back to grandma. Hello Katherine; I just want to that wewe will not answer the phone if Michael calls wewe before 7 o'clock at night because he needs a break. Okay; thanks a lot and I'll have him call the children later tonight." I asked "what did wewe do that for? I was just talking to AJ for a few minutes." He alisema "you need to relax Michael and trust that your mother can handle the kids. Did wewe forget that she raised you? A couple of days with your kids is nothing to her!" I alisema "but what if AJ –?" He alisema "your mother has everything under control Michael; just relax!" I exhaled and alisema "I hate to admit it but I think you're right! The kids do need a little bit of time away from me; especially AJ because her separation anxiety is getting a little crazy. It's only for two days and I don't think she's going to be scarred for life if she's away from me for that long." Frank alisema "that's the spirit Mike! wewe need a couple days without boogers and temper tantrums!"

I chuckled and alisema "boogers and tantrums isn't everything that I deal with all siku as a father!" Frank alisema "no; that's pretty accurate!" I alisema "no; not really." He sat down inayofuata to me on the kitanda and Jeffrey came back inside. Jeffrey asked "what's taking wewe guys so long?" Frank alisema "sorry Jeff; Michael doesn't think that his life has gotten boring since the children have been born. Maybe wewe could shed a little light on the subject because wewe spend even zaidi time with him than I do. Jeffrey sat in the chair and alisema "sorry Mike; but I have to be honest and say that I agree with Frank on this one. wewe used to hang out with the two of us a lot zaidi before wewe had either of the kids; but especially AJ!" I looked at him confused and asked "what wewe mean kwa 'especially AJ?'" Jeffrey alisema "well; I wouldn't be a true friend if I wasn't completely honest with you. The truth is that you're kind of a pushover Mike."

I was glad that Jeffrey was being honest with me and I didn't want to get mad at him; but I was still curious about what made him feel that way. Frank alisema "I agree Michael; you're a total pushover when it comes to AJ." I calmly asked "in what way?" Frank alisema "she's your little girl and I understand that; but the dakika she cries she has wewe wrapped around her finger." Jeffrey alisema "yeah and Mike wewe don't encourage her to be independent because wewe do everything for her; I mean everything!" I squinted my eyes and smirked as I alisema "come on wewe guys; I think you're exaggerating a little bit." Jeffrey alisema "I really don't think we are Michael. I mean just look at how she freaked out when wewe told her that wewe were going to leave her with her grandmother for the weekend! Most three-year-olds are zaidi than excited about going to their grandparents for the weekend because they get to be spoiled kwa them." Frank alisema “I know Mike and most kids can brush their own teeth kwa three years old." I alisema "AJ can brush her own teeth! I'm just really particular about making sure her teeth are clean." Frank alisema "whatever wewe say Michael! Now that we've spoke our opinions, we should all just let loose and have fun." I rolled my eyes and took another sip of my drink. I alisema "I've got the feeling that I'm going to need this drink to get to the entire weekend without my kids.

***

I really don't get the point of going on this "guys only vacation" because all we did the entire weekend was talk about stupid things and drink. I'm starting to think that Frank just wanted to remember what I'm like when I'm a little buzzed. I RARELY ever drink and before yesterday I would have a hard time remembering when the last time I had a drink was. I'm just glad that today I'm getting ready to leave and I'll see my babies in less than an hour.

When Frank, Jeffrey, and I got into the car, I could hardly wait to get back to Havenhurst. Frank alisema "oh my God Michael; chill out!" I alisema "I can't; come on Jeffrey! Hurry up and drive faster; so we can get there sooner! I miss AJ and Prince so much!" Jeffrey alisema "I'm trying Michael! I can't go any faster because I'm going the speed limit." Frank alisema "thank God; we're finally here! I think if the traffic would've been any worse Michael would've gotten out of the car and sprinted all the way back here!"

I jumped out of the car before it even had the chance to stop and I bolted inside the house. I calmly walked into the living room and alisema "hi AJ!" AJ whispered "daddy; can we go nyumbani now?" I picked her up and alisema "of course; right after I check in with grandma." I carried AJ into the jikoni and my mother alisema "hello Michael. How was your vacation?" I alisema "too long; I missed my angels!" She alisema "they missed wewe too Michael! AJ couldn't stop talking about wewe the entire weekend! She was telling me stories about what wewe do around the house. I was cleaning the jikoni and she was describing how wewe clean the kitchen! I thought that was the cutest thing ever." I chuckled and alisema "dare I ask, did AJ behave for you?" Mother alisema "she had her moments; but it's been taking care of Michael." I grabbed Prince from her and took him with my other arm as I alisema "okay mother; I think I'm going to take the children back nyumbani because they're both due for a nap. Thanks for watching them for the weekend!" She alisema "you're welcome son; anytime wewe need a break I will watch them for you!"

On the car ride back to Neverland, AJ was really quiet and that's extremely unusual for her. I asked "did wewe have fun at grandma's house this weekend?" She just looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. I asked "what did wewe guys do for fun?" She whispered extremely quietly "I don't know." I playfully asked "are wewe sure? wewe must've done something fun! Grandma's a really fun person!" AJ just shrugged her shoulders again and I just figured she was getting tired because it was nearing her nap time.

Grace was standing in the jikoni when I got back to the house and I alisema "hello." She alisema "hello; how was your time with your friends?" I alisema "I had my fun; but I'm glad to be back home!" She asked "would wewe like me to go put Prince down for a nap?" I alisema "yeah; I've got everything handled with AJ." Grace took Prince out of my arms and brought him upstairs. After I had gotten a cup of chokoleti maziwa for AJ, I carried her upstairs and she asked "daddy; can I sleep in your room?" I alisema "yeah; I guess wewe can because I'm feeling a little tired myself."

I brought her into my bedroom and she alisema "ouch." I looked at her puzzled and asked "what ouch?” She alisema "where grandpa hit me daddy." I froze for a sekunde and then alisema "grandpa hit you! Where?" She alisema "on my back." Sure enough, when I lifted the back of her shati there was a BRIGHT red outline of a hand print on AJ's back." I found myself starting to cry and then an overwhelming amount of anger came over me." I stood up and AJ asked with a terrified tone of voice "where are wewe going daddy? Don't leave me here; PLEASE!!!" I yelled for Grace to come upstairs and she came into my bedroom. I alisema "my father apparently hit AJ this weekend and I need to go over there to make sure it doesn't happen EVER again. Understandably, AJ doesn't want me to leave her side; but I'm not going to bring her over there with me because I don't know how it's going to go. Listen AJ, Grace won't leave wewe kwa yourself and I promise that I'll come straight nyumbani afterwards!" AJ looked at me worried and alisema "come right back daddy! I don't want to take a nap until wewe get back!" I alisema "that's fine; if wewe want to go down to the living room and watch TV wewe can. I'll be right back!" I hugged AJ and I almost couldn't bring myself to let go as she lightly leaned in for a kiss.

I ran downstairs and alisema "come on Jeffrey; I need wewe to drive me to Havenhurst because I'm too angry!" He alisema "right away Michael." I could barely contain my anger as we sat there in the car and I'm honestly surprised that Jeffrey didn't ask me why I was so angry. I couldn't even stand that insane traffic and normally I don't have any road rage; but I was in no mood to be messed with. I think Jeffrey was afraid to ask me what was wrong because I was having such a hard time keeping my composure until we got to the house.

Once we had gotten to Havenhurst, Jeffrey followed me quickly as I darted inside the house and straight for the kitchen. Mother looked at me and asked "oh; did wewe forget one of the children's bags?" I asked angrily "where's Joseph?" Before she had the time to answer me, Joseph came out of the pango and my eyes filled with rage. I pushed him up against the ukuta and pinned him there as I asked "WHO THE HELL DO wewe THINK wewe ARE?" Joseph alisema "I'm your father; that's who and wewe better watch your tone with me Michael!" I alisema "I CAN'T BELIEVE wewe HIT AJ!!!"

I punched him so hard in the face that it made his head go straight through the drywall and Jeffrey didn't know what to do. He held me back as I went in for a couple zaidi swings and I shouted "IF wewe EVER TOUCH MY CHILD AGAIN I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK!!!" I turned back to face mother and alisema "I trusted you! How could wewe let something like this happen? How could wewe let Joseph in the house after I told wewe I didn't want him around the children? How could wewe let him hit AJ? I trusted wewe mother! How could you?"

I stormed out of the house slamming the door behind me and got into the car. On the ride back to the house, I Lost it and started crying like I had never cried before. Jeffrey looked at me sympathetically and asked "are wewe okay Michael?" I shook my head no and alisema "I can't believe that I trusted my mother and I shouldn't have! I never wanted AJ to feel the physical pain au emotional pain that I felt from Joseph growing up and she wouldn't have if I hadn't trusted mother to watch them for the weekend! When I punched Joseph there was so much built-up anger that I could've punched him 1000 times if wewe hadn't stepped in! I feel like the worst father in the world right now!"

After we got back to the ranch, I let Jeffrey take a drive kwa himself so he could clear his mind and comprehend what he had just witnessed. I walked into the house and Grace was sleeping on the couch. I went upstairs because I figured that she was able to get AJ to sleep and she had gone downstairs afterwards. I walked into my bedroom and AJ was sitting on the floor crying. I knelt down in front of her and asked "what's wrong AJ?" She alisema "I'm sorry daddy!" I asked "what are wewe sorry for?" She alisema "I had an accident!" I asked "you did?" She shook her head yes as I noticed that she was completely soaked. She started shaking and alisema "please don't hit me daddy!" I started to tear up and alisema "I would NEVER hit wewe AJ!!!"

She started crying and I picked her up. I tried my best not to cry; but I couldn't help it because I knew exactly how AJ felt after being physically abused kwa Joseph. She continued to cry as she asked "why are wewe crying daddy?" I alisema "it's okay to cry. AJ; look at me. What grandpa did to wewe was not okay and he shouldn't ever hit you! It was wrong of him to do that and I'll make sure that he'll NEVER do that again!" AJ was trying to justify why he had hit her and she alisema something that absolutely destroyed me inside! She alisema "but daddy, I was bad!!!" I alisema "don't ever say that again AJ! You're not bad and don't let anybody ever tell wewe that wewe are because you're not! You’re perfect just the way wewe are!"

AJ and I both stop crying and I asked "did wewe take a nap?" She alisema "no; I wanted to wait until wewe came back." I asked curiously "not that it matters to me, but why did wewe have an accident?" She alisema "I was afraid that when wewe heard that I didn't listen to grandma that wewe would hit me and that scared me! It was really scary when grandpa hit me and I thought it was going to be a lot worse if wewe hit me because you're my daddy!" I alisema "I promise I will never hit wewe for as long as I live! I would hit myself before I would ever hit wewe AJ!"

After helping AJ change her clothes, I could tell that she was really embarrassed. I think it was because she hasn't had an accident for a very long time and I think she was beating herself up for letting it happen. As she climbed into the bed, I covered her up with the blanket and she alisema "I'm sorry daddy!!!" I alisema "sweetheart; it really doesn't bother me!" I chuckled and alisema "you've had quite a few accidents before and I've never gotten mad. That wasn't your fault at all! It only happened because wewe were scared of getting hit. If you're going to blame it on anybody, blame it on grandpa!" She asked "you promise you're not mad at me?" I kissed her forehead and alisema "far from it actually! It was just an accident and I understand why you're embarrassed; but I promise that I won't tell anyone! It'll just be between wewe and me!" She alisema "okay; that makes me feel less embarrassed now daddy!"

***

Ever since yesterday, AJ's been very jumpy and shaky. I'm really starting to think that Joseph hitting her traumatized her. She understands that I'm not going to hit her; but for some reason if I even so much as put my hand on her shoulder while I'm standing behind her she flinches. She hasn't been herself since Joseph hit her and for once I actually want her to be causing chaos. I'll do whatever I have to; so I can get AJ back to her normal self.

I was in the jikoni washing dishes while AJ was playing with a puzzle at the table. I walked up to her and asked "don't wewe want to be doing something a little zaidi fun than this?" She alisema "no; I'm fine daddy." I turned the chair she was sitting in so it was facing me and alisema "no you're not fine because normally I can't get wewe to sit still for zaidi than three dakika and wewe been sitting here for 2 1/2 hours!"

I picked her up and alisema "come on; I'm going to onyesha wewe how to have fun again! I want my AJ back!" I took her into the living room and playfully tossed her on the couch. I climbed on the kitanda and started jumping up and down. AJ just looked at me as if I had three heads and I realized that this was going to be a lot zaidi difficult. I picked her up again and took her into the kitchen. I sat her on the countertop and started rummaging through the cupboards. I grabbed a bottle of ketchup, flipped open the lid, and squirted ketchup all over AJ's shirt. She chuckled and asked "what did wewe do that for?" I alisema "I have to make wewe have fun somehow because I don't like it when you're so quiet!"

AJ grabbed the bottle of ketchup from my hands and squirted it all over my face. The two of us started laughing and I alisema "there wewe go!" She saw the bag of flour inayofuata to her on the counter and opened it up. She grabbed a handful and threw it at my face. I laughed and asked "so; wewe think that's funny?" I grabbed the entire bag and dumped it on her head. She looked up at me in shock and both of us started laughing hysterically. I looked around the jikoni and it was a complete disaster; but I didn't care because I was able to get AJ to loosen up.

As I started cleaning up the kitchen, there was a knock at the door and it was my mother. I wanted to let her inside but I knew what she wanted to talk about. AJ was still a disaster; so I had Grace bring her upstairs to get cleaned up while mother and I talked. I let her inside and she looked around the kitchen. She asked "what happened here?" I alisema "it's a long story. I didn't expect wewe to come over here today; after what happened yesterday!" She alisema "Joseph feels awful about hitting AJ Michael!" I sarcastically alisema "yeah right mother!" I started mopping the floor angrily and mother alisema "you're right Michael! I should have never let Joseph hit AJ!" I cleared my throat and alisema "he shouldn't have been around her in the first place! I told wewe I didn't want Joseph around the children and wewe went behind my back! I thought wewe were one of the few people on this earth that I could trust!" She alisema "you can trust me Michael." I alisema "apparently I can't mother because wewe allowed all of that to happen! While we're on the subject, what did AJ do that was so awful that justified your reason for letting Joseph hit her?"

Mother grabbed a washcloth off the counter and started helping me clean the kitchen. She alisema "she wouldn't go to kitanda and Joseph was getting fed up. I didn't exactly tell him to hit her. I just asked him for help because I couldn't explain to her that it was time to go to sleep! He did try just talking to her and convincing her to lie down; but that wasn't working and wewe know how short your father's temper is Michael!" I alisema "that's when wewe should have aliyopewa her a warning and let her know that if she didn't listen she would be standing in the corner for three minutes!" She alisema "I don't know how wewe can get that timeout thing to work Michael because I don't see the point in it. She isn't learning anything from staring at the ukuta for three dakika because after she gets out of the corner she does something else!" I sarcastically alisema "oh; like physical harm is so much zaidi effective!!!" She alisema "it got wewe to listen to Joseph and me when wewe were growing up." I alisema "it did work; but I spent my entire childhood terrified of Joseph and I don't want AJ to be terrified of me!!! I don't think wewe understand how different I am from Joseph! I don't think wewe understand how differently I raise AJ! Before this weekend, AJ had never been hit before; it really had a negative effect on her! She was terrified that I was going to hit her and she's been too scared to do anything because she doesn't want to be hit again! That really hurt me as a father because I don't want her to EVER be afraid of me! I would NEVER     hit her! I think wewe should leave now mother because I have some cleaning to do!" Mother walked out of the house without saying a single word to me and I was kind of the irritated that she didn't apologize for letting any of that happen."

***

My eyes shot open as AJ screamed "DADDY" at the juu of her lungs. I ran inayofuata door to her bedroom and asked "what's the matter?" She alisema "I had a bad dream daddy! I walked up to her kitanda and sat down as I asked "what was it about?" She alisema "the bad man was chasing me and trying to hit me. I was screaming for you; but wewe weren't there and I was really scared!" I alisema I won't ever let anybody hurt wewe AJ and I will always be there when wewe need me from now on!" She was shaking and terrified as she asked "daddy will wewe stay in here with me?"

I thought about it for sekunde and I wasn't going to stay in there; but the sekunde I saw AJ shaking I couldn't help it. I alisema "okay; but its 1 AM so wewe have to go back to sleep if I stay in here." I lay down inayofuata to her in the full-sized kitanda and switched off the overhead lamp. AJ whispered "I upendo wewe daddy!" I alisema "I upendo wewe zaidi AJ!!!" She whispered back "you’re the best daddy in the whole wide world!" I alisema "and you’re the best AJ in the whole wide world because you're my AJ and I don't have to share wewe with anyone else; good night sweetheart!" I looked down and she had drifted off to sleep with her head resting on my chest and she was holding my hand as tight as she possibly could! How could anybody hurt such an innocent child?