posted by Seanthehedgehog
To celebrate the 10th Con Mane story, I've gone for my inayopendelewa James Bond movie, For Your Eye's Only.
Con was at a cemetary in Canterlot when the story began.
Con: *puts flowers on Rareesa's grave*
Reverend: Excuse me, Mr. Mane?
Reverend: The C.I.E just called, and alisema they would send wewe a helicopter.
Equestrian pony: *lands chopper*
Con: *gets in helicopter*
E.P: *flies chopper*
Discord: Wait a minute. They're almost there.
E.P: *passes bridge*
Discord: *pushes button*
Con: What's happening?
Discord: I live again!
Con: Oh great.
Discord: Relax. I'm going to give wewe a tour of your country. *flies chopper with remote control*
Con: *stands up*
Con: *walks toward door*
Discord: wewe wanna jump? Go ahead.
Con: *opens door*
Discord: *leans chopper to right*
Con: Whoa! *holds on*
Discord: Hahahahahahaha *leans chopper to left*
Con: *gets in*
Discord: wewe should've jumped. Now wewe shall suffer.
Con: *disables connection*
Discord: What? It won't go down!
Con: *flies toward Discord*
Discord: This was the worst time to break my back! *rolls wheelchair*
Con: *gets wheelchair on chopper*
Discord: NO! We'll make a deal! Let me down!!
Con: Ok. Here's a good spot for wewe to go down. *drops Discord*
Discord: NO!!! *hits ground dead*
And with that over, let us introduce our characters.
Doughnut Joe..............................Con Mane
Lyra Heartstrings........................Miss. Moneybit
Raiden the cypony......................Herself
Canadian ponies.........................Good guys
Irish ponies..................................Bad guys
everypony else as theirselves
The cars are provided kwa
Somewhere in the atlantic ocean
Equestrian pony54: *grabs fish*
Equestrian pony67: *walks inside part of boat*
Equestrian captain: Good morning Rob.
Rob: Hello captain. *pushes button*
The ukuta moved, and revealed a secret room. This was no ordinary fishing boat.
Equestrian pony65: Good to see wewe again Rob.
Rob: Only so I can take over your shift.
Equestrian pony87: I think we got something.
Equestrian pony54: I'm reeling it in right now.
Rob: Hang on, that thing we're reeling in, it's a bomb!
Equestrian pony87: You're pulling in a bomb! STOP!
Equestrian pony54: Too late! Hit the don't sink button!
Rob: I.... Can't..... Reach it! Why do we get handcuffed to these chairs that don't move?!
Suddenly the bomb exploded, and the ship sank
30 miles north, in the same ocean
Canadian pilot: We're almost there.
Canadian pilot: Here's your bags.
Canadian pilot: Are wewe going to thank me for every good thing I do? *lands plane*
Carole: Thanks. *gets on boat*
mom: Carole! Good to see wewe again!
Carole: Thanks mom. It's good to see wewe again too. Where's dad?
Dad: Over here my sweetheart. My wewe look gorgeous. Any stallionfriends yet?
Carole: Dad *laughs*
Mom: Thanks for getting my daughter here.
Canadian pilot: You're welcome. *flies out of water*
Dad: He seemed nice.
Canadian pilot: They say thanks too much *deploys machine guns*
Mom: What's he doing?
Canadian pilot: *shoots parents*
Carole: *gets up* Mom? Dad? He shot them! Now I know not to trust a canadian.
In Canterlot Con was going to be briefed on his new assignment.
P: Good evening.
Con: Hi. It is a good evening isn't it?
P: Ja, but I have a job for you. One of our ships, the Los Alabama has been sunk.
Con: Why? Do wewe know what happened?
P: The crew accidentally reeled in a sea mine.
Con: Oh great.
P: No it isn't. We also had somepony kill two others on a boat. wewe must find out who is doing all this.
And So Con went into Vanhoover to find out what was going on. He was driving his Lambronyni Cacht when....
Irish pony43: *pulls over*
Raiden: That better not have been-
Irish pony43: It was. We'll have some guards over at the house in case he shows.
Con: *locks car* Now to just get to the mansion. *walks*
Irish pony98: *relaxing*
Raiden: *drinking martini*
Con: *climbs wall*
Irish pony54: Found him! Hooves up!
30 sekunde later
Irish pony54: A nambu pistol. Standard weapon for a C.I.E agent. What are wewe doing here?
waiter: *walks toward them*
Con: For a drink *spills bia on them*
Raiden: What are wewe doing? Stop him!
Irish pony98: *shoots at Con*
Con: *jumps over wall*
Irish pony54: After him! *falls over wall*
Irish pony98: *climbs over wall* Anypony can do it.
Carole: *grabs bow & arrow*
Irish ponies: *running with dogs*
Carole: *shoots irish pony*
Con: Nice shot.
Con: wewe better stay with me if wewe wanna escape. *runs*
Canadian pilot: *tries to open door*
Irish pony4: *breaks window*
Con's car then blew up
Con: Well I hope wewe have a car.
Carole: *smiles* This way
Carole soon arrived at her car. A pink Shitroen 2PV
Con: A Shitroen?
Irish pony65: *shoots mti near Con*
Carole: Get in!
Con: *gets in*
Irish pony34: Get our cars! They cant' go far.
Con: So how fast does this car go?
Carole: 32 miles an hour.
Con: Out of all the cars in the world, and wewe get this.
Carole: It's a sexy car!
Con: *facepalm* Mares.
Irish pony34: *follows*
Con: And, they caught up.
Irish pony65: *shoots Carole's car*
Carole: NO! They broke the window!
Con: Floor it!
Carole: I am! It won't go any faster!
Irish pony97: *rams car*
Con: Take the low road!
Carole: *flips car over*
Con: Not that low!
Firefighting pony: *driving by*
Irish pony97: Get out of the way!!
Firefighting pony: Move! We have to get to a fire!
Con: *gets car back on wheels* Do wewe mind if I drive?
Irish pony97: Well we have somepony to get to!
Con: *tries to start car* come on wewe peice of shit!
Firefighting pony: MOVE! au I'll call the cops!
Irish pony65: *shoots firetruck* Back up, au the inayofuata bullet hits you!
Firefighting pony: *backs up*
Con: 5th try! *turns key* Still won't start!!!!!!!
Irish pony97: *pushes Carole's car*
Con: Yes! *drives at 30 mph*
Irish pony34: *shoots tire*
Con: I'm afraid we have a flat. That'll slow us down.
Carole: wewe aren't gonna stop are you?
Con: Of course not!
Irish pony65: *gets inayofuata to Carole's car*
Con: *pushes car off road*
Irish pony65: NO! *falls out of car*
Irish pony34: *shoots himself*
Irish pony97: Morons!
The other enemy car was rolling down the kilima to the other part of the road where Con was heading.
Irish pony97: *shoots engine*
Carole: My car is on fire!
Con: Somehow we're going faster!
Irish pony97: AHHH *hits other car*
Con: *drives into water*
The three irish ponies were dead.
Con: Oh, we haven't been formally introduced. My name is Mane. Con Mane.
Carole: Pleasure to meet wewe Con Mane. What are wewe doing against the Irish?
Con: I was assigned to stop the madman after he bombed one of my agencie's ships.
Carole: wewe were assigned to stop them?
Con: Yes. I work for the C.I.E.
Carole: Oh, I didn't know that.
Con: Yeah, and now I have to go back to headquarters.
At the CIE HQ in Canterlot
P: So wewe let the enemy escape?
Con: I didn't. They blew up my car, and I had to retreat.
P: So wewe did let him escape?
Con: Fine, I let him escape! wewe happy?
P: No. ripoti to S, and let him give wewe equipment that wewe won't get to use.
Con: *goes to S' lab*
S: Hi Con.
Con: Hello S. Ah, I see you're putting the Lambronyni back together.
S: No, it's a newer one.
Con: Oh it is?
S: Yes. Now check this out.
Con: It's a computer, everypony has seen it before.
S: Yeah well, they haven't seen what I'm about to onyesha you.
Con: What is it?
S: Just something to onyesha what your enemy looks like. Gender?
Con: It was sort of like upinde wa mvua Dash's but in yellow.
S: Like this?
Con: No, a little lighter. Yeah like that.
S: Eye color?
Con: There's something covering her eyes. I think she's a cyborg.
S: She used to be a part of our organization, but things went horribly wrong once we got her to do something we thought would be good.
Con: wewe wanted her to be a cyborg pony?
S: We thought it would be a good thing, but she was too powerful, and eventually went rogue, planning to do anything to attack the C.I.E.
Con: That's not good. Where is she now?
S: Still in Canada, but at Neighagra Falls.
Con: I'm on it.
We all know about Neighagra falls, a beautiful place, blah blah blah the waterfall, that's not why Con's here.
Con arrived at Neighagra falls, and would be meeting with a gppony, pony from M.I.6.
Con: Are wewe Amzel?
Amzel: Yeah. Who are you?
Con: I'm the Equestrian agent. Mane, Con Mane.
Amzel: Amzel. Brewster Amzel.
Con: Perfect. Do wewe know where Raiden is?
Amzel: She isn't too hard to find. Follow me.
Con: Where are we heading?
Amzel: To the Winter Olympics.
Con: But, there's no snow.
Pegasi: *create snow*
Amzel: wewe were saying?
Con: We're working together to defeat a cyborg that is destroying my agency.
Amzel: That's not all she's doing.
Con: What do wewe mean?
Amzel: Remember the ship she sank?
Con: Oh yeah the Los Alabama. What about it?
Amzel: There was something important on there, I think it was something that could launch nuclear missiles.
Con: What does she need it for?
Amzel: She's giving it to the Mexicans, and they'll destroy every other country
Con: Here we go again.
Amzel: What do wewe mean?
Con: Golden Iris.
The two had breakfast, and went to see a mare ice skating. She was almost like Pinkie Pie, german, blue eyes, and has been skating since she was a filly.
Amzel: She's good.
Con: Almost like my boss. What's her name?
Amzel: I think it's Amy. She's looking at wewe like she's in love.
Con: Oh jeez.
Amy: Guten tag. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Con: Vielleicht sprechen Sie Englisch?
Amy: You're cute.
Con: Well uh, thank you. But I must be going. *walks away*
On his way back to the hotel, con saw somepony nearby.
Con: Carole. *walks in flowershop*
Cashier: Hello, may I help you?
Con: I'd like to buy you're best flowers.
Cashier: Coming right up.
Carole: *walking in gunshop*
store owner: Hi Miss. What can I get you?
Carole: I need zaidi ammo for my Bow & Arrow.
store owner: Sure thing.
Cashier: These cost a Quarter.
Con: Here wewe are.
Irish pony45: *flying plane*
Carole: *gets down*
Irish pony45: *shoots at Carole*
Con: *shoots pilot*
Irish pony45: Ngh! *crashes into building*
Civilians: Oh no! What happened? *runs toward wreckage*
Con: Ah perfect. *puts flowers kwa plane* For his funeral.
Carole: What happened?!
Con: Carole? What are wewe doing here?
Carole: I came to stop Raiden.
Con: Me too. But since we ran into each other, maybe...
Carole: *kisses Con*
Con: *kisses Carole*
After some destruction, and romance, Con got back to his hotel.
Con: WHAT?! ARE? wewe DOING HERE?!
Amy: I was just taking a shower!
Con: Oh god. How did wewe get in here?
Amy: Through der window.
Con: Oh, uh.. Great.
Amy: What's the matter? *lays on bed* Don't wewe like me?
Con: Amy I think you're wonderful, but I'm not sure if your trainers, au parents would approve.
Amy: I don't think they would. They still think I'm a Virgin.
Con: Oh wow.
Amy: Let's go hang out together.
In case you're wondering Amy is 10 years younger then Con is.
The inayofuata siku Con went to see zaidi of the Winter Olympics with Amy.
Amy: Wish me luck.
Con: wewe know I will.
irish ponies: *flying airplanes toward him*
Con: But unfortunately I must go *casts spell*
Amy: Why are wewe running?
Con: *grows wings*
Amy: au not.
Con: *flies up*
irish ponies: *shoot ground*
Con: *grab gun*
Irish pilot: *shoots gun*
2nd irish pilot: I think it's time we shoot missiles at him!
Irish pilot: I agree lad. *activates launcher*
Con: *flies through trees*
Irish pilot: *shoots tree*
2nd Irish pilot: What were ye thinking?
Irish pilot: He moved, and I shot the mti *crashes*
Con: *flies through cloud*
2nd Irish pilot: *shoots at him*
Canadian: *flying helicopter*
Con: *flies through chopper*
2nd Irish pilot: *flies under chopper*
Canadian: *grabs machine gun*
Con: *flies toward ground*
Canadian: *shoots pilot's wings*
2nd Irish pilot: *shoots Con's wings*
2nd irish pilot: *crashes*
After missing Amy perform, Con decided to see her tonight at an ice rink
Con: *parks car*
Amzel: Do wewe want me to go with you?
Con: No, it shouldn't take too long. *walks into building*
Amy: *ice skating* Con, wewe made it.
Con: Ja, how could I not?
Amy: I upendo you.
Con: Already? And how old are you?
Con: Yeah, and I'm 16. Don't wewe think we're rushing this?
Amy: Nien, but I do have to go. *leaves*
Con: *sighs* How do I get into these situations?
Ice skaters: *skate toward him*
Con: Oh god!
Ice skater 1: *pushes Con down*
Ice skater 2: *skates toward him*
Con: *stands up*
Ice skater 2: RRAGGH!
Con: *flips him over*
Ice skater 1: *charges*
Con: *throws him into goal*
Ice skater 2: *gets back up*
Con: *avoids attack*
Ice skater 2: *rises hockey stick*
Con: *grabs it*
Ice skater 2: *grabs gun*
Con: *hits him into goal*
Ice Skater 3: *runs toward him*
Con: *drives zamboni into 3rd skater*
Ice skater 3: *slides into goal*
And with that, Con went back to his car, but when he arrived he found something surprising.
Con: *spots badge* Raiden must have done this.
He met up with Carole again, and saw that there were some irish ponies.
Con: What are these guys doing here?
Carole: These ponies maybe irish, but they want to help.
Good irish pony: My name is Edward, and this is my group known as The Resistance.
Con: Why are wewe fighting your own country?
Edward: They are handing over a weapon to Mexico that will destroy every place other then their own.
Resistance sgt: They must be stopped at all costs.
Con: You're right, where are wewe heading?
Edward: To the docks. Raiden will try to escape with the weapon.
Con: Then we'd better go.
So they went to the docks where Raiden's army was working.
Con: Wait for my command.
Con: Now *shoots irish ponies*
Irish pony88: *grabs famas*
resistance PFC: *kicks 88th irish pony*
Irish pony88: *falls in water*
Irish pony63: *sets up MG42*
Edward: Take cover! *hides behind wall*
Irish pony63: *shoots near con*
Carole: *shoots arrow at machine gunner*
Irish pony63: *gets shot in the eye*
Con: inayofuata time do that to a bull.
Irish pony68: *throws grenade*
Carole: *throws it back*
Raiden: Colonel! What's happening?!
Irish colonel: The Resistance has teamed up with Con Mane, and are attacking our harbor.
Raiden: Unnacceptable! Where's my car?
Irish pony46: *shoots near Edward*
Con: That was a close shave.
Edward: Hm, some of my mane came off. *laughs*
Con: *shoots 46th irish pony*
Irish pony7: He's using a Nambu, how is he killing us?!
Irish pony56: Who cares?
Resistance sgt: *pushes oil drum* It's empty, but I don't think they know.
Irish pony7: *shoots barrel* Reloading!
Resistance sgt: *shoots Irish pony7*
Raiden: *drives past*
Con: I got this *runs off*
Raiden: *driving alongside cliff*
Con: *teleports .7 miles in front of car*
Raiden: *driving 60 miles an hour*
Con: *shoots Raiden*
Raiden: AH *spins off on cliff* oh dear *tries to get out*
Raiden couldn't move, au else the car would fall off.
Con: *walks toward car*
Raiden: *stares nervously*
Con: *shows badge* wewe left this with Amzel I believe *throws it in car*
Raiden's car: *falls off*
Did Raiden survive, and if so what will she do? What about the secret weapon? Did that survive?
Raiden didn't survive, but the secret weapon did. It wasn't until two days later when Con & The Resistance found out.
Con: I thought that weapon would be gone.
Edward: wewe thought wrong my friend. Now the Irish are about to make the deal with the Mexicans in 3 hours, at this place north of our position.
Con: Then we'd better get a songesha on.
Edward: I don't know lad, there's hundreds of them, and we have only five stallions.
Carole: And one mare.
Con: Then we must go.
They arrived at the place, and Con got ready to climb the mountain.
Edward: wewe sure wewe got this?
Con: Yeah. *climbs up*
Edward: Carole, do wewe have any binoculars?
Carole: Yeah *gives them to Edward*
Edward: *Looks through binoculars* He's already halfway up!
Resistance Sgt: That's a huge mountain, how'd he do that?
Con: *hammers spike in mountain*
Carole: What's he doing?
Edward: He's setting some spikes with ropes in the mountain.
Con: There. That should do it *climbs up*
Edward: Hold on.
Carole: What is it?
Con: *makes it to top*
Raiden: *walks toward Con*
Con: *looks up*
Raiden: *kicks Con*
Con: *rolls toward cliff* OHHH! *falls and stops*
Yeah, about Raiden not surviving... I lied
Con: *climbs back up*
Raiden: *takes out spike*
Con: *loses ground*
Edward: This can't be good.
Raiden: *takes out 2nd spike*
Con: Damn! If she takes the third one out, I'm dead.
Raiden: *takes 3rd spike out*
Con: *teleports behind Raiden*
Raiden: So much for Mr. Mane
Con: *kicks Raiden off mountain*
Edward: Alright, let's go.
Con: *lowers basket*
Carole: It's a long way up.
Edward: We have to wait a few dakika before making our way up.
Raiden: *flies back to juu of mountain*
Con: *whistling song*
Raiden: *grabs gun*
Con: *hits Raiden*
Raiden: *drops gun*
Edward: It's here. Let's get on *goes in basket*
Carole: *gets in*
Raiden: *hits Con's nose*
Con: *hits Raiden's neck*
Raiden: *falls asleep*
Carole: We're here.
Con: Good. Now let's get the others.
Edward: They won't be in this fight. It's just the three of us.
Con: That's too bad. The zaidi the merrier.
The three ponies went inside where the Irish were. The new leader was at the juu floor.
Carole: Alright, we gotta do this before the mexicans get here.
Con: *shoots irish ponies*
Amy: What was that?
N.I.L: None of your business *pushes Amy in bed*
Amy: wewe can go buck yourself!
N.I.L: *slaps Amy*
Con: *breaks down door* Amy?
Amy: Con help!
N.I.L *grabs sword*
Con: *shoots at N.I.L*
N.I.L: *blocks shots*
Con: Only one thing to do now *takes away sword*
N.I.L: wewe bloody unicorn!
Edward: I hear a helicopter!
Carole: It's the mexicans.
P: *flying helicopter*
Con: *kicks new irish leader*
NIL: *grabs torch*
Con: *shoots flame* Not so much use now is it?
NIL: *hits Con*
Con: *grabs stick*
NIL: I thought wewe alisema it wasn't useful.
Con: I lied *pushes NIL out window* Are wewe ok Amy?
Amy: I'm fine.
Edward: Get the secret weapon, P is here.
Con: Oh perfect *grabs secret weapon*
P: Con wewe did it. Now, give me the weapon.
Con: *throws it down cliff*
Despite surviving an earlier drop, that was in a car. The secret weapon broke once it hit the bottom.
P: What the hell?
Con: wewe don't have it, I don't have it. Therefore nopony else can have it.
P: Hhmmmm. That's a good thought there. Well I'm on my way back to HQ. *gets in helicopter* wewe coming?
Con: Nien. I'm staying with Carole.
P: Ok. *flies away*
Eight hours later in the atlantic ocean
Con: *laying in kitanda with Carole* wewe still driving that pink peice of crap?
Carole: I told wewe it's a sexy car. But not as sexy as you.
Con: Obviously, nothing is.
S: Con, do wewe read me?
Con: Yeah, why did wewe put a walkie talkie in my wristwatch?
S: To inform wewe that Princess Celestia has something to tell you.
Con: Right *takes off watch* Let's go somewhere else, shall we?
Carole: We're on a boat, why don't we go scuba diving?
Con: Perfect idea.
S: Con! Are wewe there? Con!
S: Princess Celestia is going to talk to you.
Celestia: Mr. Mane, how glad to finally speak to you.
Celestia: I just want to thank wewe for saving our world from Mexico.
Parrot: Kiss me.
Celestia: Oh, really Mr. Mane you're such a funny pony.
S: Hold on, let me speak to him. Con! Where are you?
Con: *dives in water* Here.
Parrot: *drops watch*
And that includes For Your I's Only
Con Mane will return in License To Murder.