posted by Seanthehedgehog
It's the 11th Con Mane story, and it begins in Berlin Germany. Con's best friend Fenix Lighter, an agent for the German Secret Service, M.I.3 is on his way to a marriage. Con, and another gppony, pony is with him, until they run into trouble....
I was actually typing that while listening to the nyota wars theme song! LOL
Fenix: Are we almost there? How do I look?
Con: Relax Fenix.
German pony75: *flies near them*
German pony23: hujambo look, there's a message.
Con: *reads it* Follow me.
German pony23: *follows*
German pony75: *lands*
Fenix: *gets out* What the fuck happened?
German pony75: Sanchez escaped, he's at the airport.
Con: Hang on, I'll be right back. *teleports to airport*
Sanchez: We have an intruder!!
Russians: *shoot at Con*
Con: *take cover*
Sanchez: Is the bike ready?
Russian pony53: Yeah, move!!
Sanchez: *rides away*
Con: *gets back to car* Everypony in now!
Germans: *get in car*
Con: *teleports on highway* Sanchez is on a green EMW
German pony23: I'm on it! *drives car*
Sanchez: *weaves through traffic*
German pony23: I see him!
Con: Alright, keep driving. I'm getting on the roof! *gets on roof*
German pony23: *drives faster*
Con: *gets rope*
Sanchez: What the?!
Con: *ties up Sanchez*
Sanchez: *falls off bike*
Con: I got him!
Fenix: He got him!!
German pony23: Wunderbar, but we won't get to the wedding on time!
Con: Oh yes we will! *teleports them to wedding*
Bride: Fenix, where did wewe come from?
Fenix: Magic, what are we all waiting for? Let's start this!
Germans: Ja. *arrest Sanchez*
This is just the beginning of
License To Murder
Doughtnut Joe..............................Con Mane
Cranky Doodle Donkey................Dario
upinde wa mvua Dash.............................Rain Bouvier
Cars provided kwa
The night after the marriage was when the ponies were partying.
Con: Congrats Fenix.
Fenix: Danke my friend. Me, and Roseluck have a gift for you.
Roseluck: It's a cigarette lighter.
Con: Oh wow. Thanks wewe two.
Roseluck: *grabs flower* He loves me,
Fenix: Come on, of course I upendo you.
Con: I have to go *gets in car*
Roseluck: Con wait!
Con: *drives off*
Roseluck: Is he ok?
Fenix: He was married once, but that was a long time ago.
At the Berlin jail
Sanchez: *playing harmonica*
Copper 43: Shut up!
Russians: *storm in jail* Where's Sanchez?!
Warden: I'm not telling you!
Russians: *kill warden* Let's find his cell.
Coppers: *shoot two russians*
other three russians: *kill coppers* Let's go Sanchez *busts down door*
Sanchez: Thanks wewe three. Let's get out of here A.S.A.P. I have somepony to visit.
Back at Fenix's place
Fenix: *hears car pull into driveway* Con?
Russians: *K.O. Fenix*
Roseluck: Fenix?! What's happening?!
Russians: Shut up! *slap Roseluck*
The russians kidnapped Fenix, and took him to a warehouse
Fenix: What is this?
Russian pony65: We're making wewe pay for what you've done!
Fenix: What are wewe talking about?
Sanchez: wewe sent me to jail, remember?
Fenix: No! I don't
Sanchez: That's great... kill him
Russians: *open trap doors*
Fenix: *falls in water*
Sharks: *eat Fenix*
Fenix: AAAAAAAAHHHHH! nien, nien- AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Con was at the airport about to make his way back to Canterlot when...
German pony23: *walks into airport*
Con: I'd like one ticket to Canterlot, Equestria.
german pony88: Sure.
German pony23: Con, come over here, quick!
Con: I have to go!
German pony88: But, your ticket!
Con: What is it?
German pony23: Fenix has gone missing, and his wife is beat up badly!
Con: Let's go then.
They arrived at Fenix's house
Con: Wait here, I'll be right back.
Con: Roseluck, what happened?
Roseluck: Some russians came here, and kidnapped Fenix, then brought his body back here.
Con: *spots body* There's a note.
He disagreed with something that ate him
Con: I think he's still breathing.
Roseluck: He's still alive? Oh thank celestia!
Con: I gotta go find those sick bastards that killed Fenix. Who was it?
Roseluck: Sanchez, and his ponies.
Con: Great, where are they now?
3 hours later at a bar near some water
Con: *rides mashua to bar*
Waiter: Hello sir, can I tie up your mashua for you?
Con: Sure. Is there somepony here named Rain Bouvier?
Waiter: Oh yeah, she's a blue pegasus with a upinde wa mvua mane. Can't be too hard to spot her.
Con: Right, thanks *walks into bar*
20 sekunde later
Con: Are wewe Rain Bouvier?
Rain: Yeah, what's it 2 ya?
Con: I am Mane. Con Mane, my best friend Fenix Lighter works for the same organization wewe do, and Sanchez's gang nearly killed him.
Rain: Who do wewe work for Con? Are wewe a spy?
Con: Yeah, for the C.I.E.
Rain: Well I think we can work together.
Dario: *walks in bar*
Rain: Oh damnit!
Con: What is it?
Rain: It's Sanchez's right hand man, Dario.
Con: And he's brought company.
Waitress: hujambo there, anything I can get you?
Con: Two beers, that's all.
Waitress: Alrighty, coming right up.
Dario: Good evening Miss Bouvier.
Rain: Hi Dario. I see wewe brought company.
Dario: Seven russians. wewe can't escape this time.
Con: You've tried to catch her before?
Dario: Mind your business, but I will tell wewe I've tried to catch her 41 times!
everypony: *puts away weapons*
Waitress: Here wewe go *puts tray on table* That'll be $3.50. Anything I can get for your friends?
Russian captain: Let me get it *heads toward Con*
Con: *K.O's captain* He's had enough, thank you.
Waitress: Oh, um ok *walks away*
Rain: How did wewe get here?
Con: kwa boat.
Rain: Where is it?
Con: Behind that ukuta *attacks Dario*
Russians: *head toward Rain*
Rain: *grabs shotgun* Eat this *shoots two russians*
Russian leiutenant: *runs toward Rain*
Con: *K.O's leiutenant*
Dario: *grabs Rain*
Rain: *flips Dario over*
Russians: *grab swordfish*
Con: *dodge fish*
Russians: Charge!!! RRAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
Con: *dodges fish*
Russians: again! RRAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! *hit Con*
Rain: *K.Os russians*
Dario: *grabs Rain's shotgun*
Rain: *hits Dario, and shoots hole in wall* Get it started.
Con: *runs to boat*
Rain: *walks slowly to hole*
Con: *starts boat*
Rain: *flies to boat*
Con: *drives boat*
Dario: *shoots Rain*
Rain: Ah! *falls on floor*
Con: *shoots at Dario*
They got away, but the mashua ran out of gas after their escape
Con: Well this is great.
Rain: You're a unicorn. Can't wewe make the engine run without gasoline?
Con: Can't wewe learn how to die? How did wewe survive getting shot?
Rain: Flak jacket.
Con: Oh, cool.
Con: So where are we heading now?
Rain: I don't know, but I'm sure we've got time for a little something. *grabs Con*
Con: I see where this is going *kisses Rain*
Rain: *kisses Con*
Con & Rain went to a city called svoboda. Mr. Sanchez was there, and had plans to continue his business, but what was it?
Con: We need to know what we're dealing with, but first, gambling! *sits at poker table*
Rain: Of course!
Dealer: Hello, how may I help you?
Con: I shall put in $50 for chips.
Dealer: Ok. *deals cards*
Rain: How is this going to get us information about Sanchez?
Con: Oh don't worry, it will *takes cards*
P: Where is Con?! He was suppsed to be here 8 hours ago! WHERE IS HE?!!?
S: How should I know? Moneybit, do wewe know?
Moneybit: Let me check his tracking device.
Con: Oh crap, hold on *turns off tracking device*
S: What is it?
Moneybit: I only saw it for a second, but I'm sure he's in Svoboda.
S: *grabs bag* Well then I must get him.
P: Take me with you!
S: Take this *throws watch* wewe can talk to him when I find him.
P: ok *hops to kitchen*
Back to Svoboda
Con: I see your $20, and raise wewe $30!
Rain: You're going all in?! Are wewe insane?
Con: No, I'm a winner
Dealer: And the $350 goes to Con Mane.
Con: What did I tell you? I'm a winner.
Rain: Good job. Now that wewe got us zaidi money, what should we do?
Con: Let's not talk about the money, and get a hotel room. We'll need to stay here for a few days.
Upstairs in a secret room
Sanchez: Who was that gppony, pony who won the entire pot?
Russian pony67: I don't know, but I do know he was with Rain Bouvier.
Sanchez: Rain Bouvier is here?!?
Russian pony67: That is what I just said, yes.
Sanchez: Well then we have to get her to tell us who she's hanging out with. He could also be in her organization! Tara! Get over here!!
Tara: What do wewe want?
Sanchez: I want wewe to go find a upinde wa mvua maned pegasus, and find out what wewe can about her friend.
Tara: I don't work for you, I live with you.
Sanchez: Shut up! wewe do exactly what I say if wewe don't wanna get whipped.
Tara: Fine, I'll do it!
After 40 dakika of doing uh, stuff.. Con & Rain went to play zaidi poker.
Con: I'll let wewe play this time.
Rain: I don't know if I can win.
Con: Nonsense, wewe hate losing right?
Con: So why can't wewe win?
Rain: Fine, I'll do it. *sits at table*
Waiter: Can I get anypony something?
Con: I'll have a milkshake, stirred, not shaken.
Waiter: Very well.
Tara: Excuse me sir.
Con: What do wewe want?
Tara: I was wondering if wewe could help me with something.
Con: No *walks back to table*
Dealer: Hey, is there somepony named Con Mane?
Con: That's me, why?
Dealer: Someone called, and alisema he was a friend of yours. He's in your hotel room.
Rain: I won!
Con: Perfect, cuz we have to go now. *runs*
Rain: What is it?
Con: Somepony might be trying to kill us!
At the hotel room
Con: *grabs gun* Wait here until I tell wewe to.
Con: *walks toward door, rams into it, and pushes S on the floor*
S: Really 0007!
Con: S?! What the fuck are wewe doing here? I might have killed you!
S: Well I'm on leave! I thought I'd stop by, and see how wewe were getting along.
Con: *helps S up* Are wewe alright?
S: Yes, of course.
Con: How'd wewe find me?
S: Moneybit of course, she's worried sick about you.
Con: Look S, this is no place for you. Go home.
S: Don't say that 0007, I know exactly what you're up to, and quite frankly you're gonna need my help. Remember, if it hadn't been for the S branch, wewe would've been dead long ago.
Rain: Is everything ok?
Con: It's fine, just my quartermaster.
Rain: He's a baby dragon.
S: Yeah, problem? Because if there is, I can kill wewe easily.
Con: Flak jacket, au not.
Rain: Right, uh... What are wewe doing here?
S: Giving 0007 his equipment.
Rain: Who's 0007?
Con: I am, that's what they call me anyway.
S: Exactly, now where were we?
Con: wewe wanted to onyesha me some stuff?
S: Oh yes, four clips of ammo for your Nambu pistol. A pen that shoots poisonous darts, grenades, and a rifle.
Con: A Kar98k, interesting.
S: It's not just a Kar98 rifle, hold this part with your right hoof
Con: *holds it*
S: Now hold it with your left
Con: *holds it*
S: Now you're the only one that can use it.
Rain: wewe alisema he was your quartermaster?
Con: Yes he is.
S: And I hope wewe don't mind, but I'm staying with you, even if I get fired for it.
Con: Alrighty then. wewe can stay.
Con, and his Marafiki found out that Mr. Sanchez smuggled drugs out of Svoboda into other places in the world, and the way he did it, was illegal.
Sanchez: *drives past S*
S: Rain, do wewe copy?
Rain: I copy. What's the skinny?
S: Sanchez is in a convoy with two sedans, and a bus.
Rain: An actual bus?!
S: No, just a Vriendscoupe bus.
Rain: Oh, thank god.
Con: She's not used to cars. Just flying.
S: I'll keep that in mind.
Rain: *flies above cars*
Con: Why are wewe carrying me again?
Rain: So we can go over the plan. We'll be disguised as tourists, and then we infiltrate Sanchez's plan.
Rain: We're here.
Con: Thank god, I felt like wewe were going to drop me the entire time.
Sanchez: Welcome my visitors. How is everypony today?
Sanchez: Excellent, because wewe will be aliyopewa a tour of my drug facility.
Rain: Aw yeah.
Sanchez: Helping me with the tour is my right hand man, and a donkey, Dario.
Dario: Hello, follow me.
Dario: Here is where we load our drugs into trucks. They're all tankers so that no one can find out what it is.
Sanchez: They'll all think it's gasoline, so they won't bother to look inside.
Tourists: Ooh *take down notes*
Dario: Now if wewe walk up these stairs, you'll see the drugs go directly into our trucks. It's awesome, isn't it?
Rain: Soo awesome
Dario: Don't get too excited, there is still zaidi to be looked at inside this room.
Con: (I'll bet, which is something I'm really good at)
Dario: Now that we're inside, let us onyesha wewe something. Since wewe all decided to not only visit, but buy our drugs, we'll deliver it to wewe once wewe get back to your homes.
Sanchez: And you'll get a souvenir as well. *sets paper on fire* A free paper shredder. This is actually a glass cylinder with some of the drugs you'll recieve.
Con: *throws cylinder*
Sanchez: THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE!!! RUN!
Dario: *hits Con*
Sanchez: *grabs gun*
Rain: *hits Sanchez*
Con: *grabs rifle*
Dario: *grabs rifle* Why won't this shoot?!
Con: Cuz it's mine *takes rifle*
Dario: *pushes Con onto conveyor belt*
Sanchez: I got the mare, let's finish this loser off.
Con: *teleports into truck*
Dario: Where did he go?
Russian pony56: All trucks may leave the inapakia bay
Russians: *drive trucks*
Con: *drives truck*
Dario: He's driving one of our trucks!!
Rain: *kills Dario* See ya *flies away*
Sanchez: Damnit! Where is my car?
Warning, this has a extremely intense car chase. If wewe don't like intense action then do not read
Russians: *driving trucks*
Con: *driving behind them*
Russian trucker1: Who is that pony?
Sanchez: Attention, Con Mane has stolen one of our trucks. Stop him at all costs!
Russian trucker 1: I see him! *slows down*
Russian pony45: *driving bus*
Russian pony89: Stop!
Russian pony45: *stops* Get the rocket launchers, they're in the trunk.
Russian pony89: *grabs rocket launcher*
Russian trucker 1: *rams Con*
Con: *rams trucker*
Citizen 8975: *spins off road*
Con: *rams truck into canyon*
Construction worker: Wave that flag so the truck won't hit this ramp.
Construction worker2: Ok
Russian pony89: He's getting close *aims rocket*
Con: *goes faster*
Russian pony89: *shoots rocket*
Con: *gets truck on one side*
Construction workers: Aaaahh *runs away*
Russian pony89: How did I miss?!
Con: *drives toward them*
Russians: *run toward bus*
Con: *lands truck on bus*
Rain: *flies above* Oh man!
Con: *driving toward other truckers*
Russian trucker 2: *grabs mini uzi*
Con: *hits truck*
Russian trucker 2: *shoots tires on trailer*
Con: *stops truck*
Russian unicorns: *teleports near Con* Fire! *shoot at Con*
Rain: *throws grenade*
Russians: Where did this come from?! *die*
Con: Nice work Rain!
Rain: Your welcome!
Con: *unhitches trailer, then drives truck*
Sanchez: Take the wheel of my car, I'm going in that bigrig!
Russian pony90: How?
Sanchez: With wings idiot! *flies into big rig*
Russian trucker 3: Sir!
Sanchez: Keep driving, forget I'm here.
Con: *gets behind 2nd truck*
Russian trucker 2: *shoots windows*
Con: *pushes truck off road*
Russian trucker 2: Oh great!
2nd truck: *explodes*
Sanchez: Now he's heading towards us, floor it!
Russian trucker 3: *goes faster*
Con: *catches up*
Sanchez: Of course! HE has no trailer, so he can go faster then us!
Con: *gets behind 3rd truck*
Sanchez: *shoots at Con*
Con: *sets his truck to cruise control*
Russian trucker 3: Oh great! A hill!
Con: *jumps onto 3rd truck*
Sanchez: He's on the trailer! *shoots at Con*
Con: *sets charge on trailer*
Sanchez: What is he doing?
Con: *teleports off truck*
Sanchez: Hah! He left. That wimp couldn't deal with us!
Con: *detonates charge*
Russian trucker 3: *drives off cliff*
Con: do svidaniya Sanchez!
Sanchez: *flies up* wewe forgot I'm a pegasus!
Con: Oh shit *hits Sanchez*
Sanchez: *kicks Con*
Con: *breaks Sanchez's wings*
Sanchez: *falls on street*
Bus driver: *drives toward them*
Sanchez: *shoots driver*
driver: *flips bus over*
Con: *kicks Sanchez*
Sanchez: *makes fuel leak, but doesn't know*
Con: *pushes Sanchez into gasoline*
Sanchez: *hits Con*
Con: *breaks Sanchez's arm*
Sanchez: All this! wewe did all this for what purpose?
Con: For a friend *grabs lighter, and sets Sanchez on fire*
Rain: *flies toward Con* How about getting us back home?
Con: Yes sir!
1 and a half days later
Fenix: The doctor says I'll be out in a few weeks.
Con: Hey, congrats on surviving a papa bite, those aren't usual!
Fenix: Thanks my friend, I just hope Roseluck is alright.
Roseluck: I'm right here Fenix
Con: We have to go now, bye *hangs up*
Fenix: *hangs up* What a great pony.
Roseluck: So what do wewe wanna do now?
Con: *spots Rain* Jump in the pool *jumps in pool*
Rain: wewe got me wet!
Con: Sorry. Can I help wewe dry off?
Rain: Without magic? Sure
Con: *hugs Rain*
Rain: *kisses Con*
Con Mane will return