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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The famous spy of the Central Intelligence Of Equestria has returned!

The story begins at a Mexican airbase.

P: What do wewe see?
Con: Other then rain, and explosive weapons from communists?
P: Ach. zaidi serious then I thought.
S: Hang on, there's a gppony, pony there that looks familiar.
P: Yeah, isn't that Snails?
Con: I see him too.
Snails: Get all these weapons to our base in Las Pegasus as soon as possible!
Mexican pony98: Yes sir.
Con: We have to get rid of those weapons *shoots nuclear missile*
Moneybit: What the fuck is he doing?
P: His job.
mexicans: *shoot at Con*
Con: *kills three mexicans*
S: Con, get out of there!
P: No! I think he's onto something!
Con: P's right. I am getting out of here, kwa stealing one of their jets.
P: As long as wewe escape, do it.
Con: *steals jet fighter*
Mexicans: NO!
Snails: Enviar otro combate después de él!
Mexican pilots: Estamos en ello!
Con: Con to C.I.E HQ, I got rid of the explosive weapons, and I'm now reporting back to base.
mexican pony32: *chokes Con* I was here the entire time!
Mexican pilot: *shoots Con's plane*
Con: *gets under other fighter*
Mexican pilot: He went under!
2nd pilot: Dropping bombs
Con: *hits eject button*
Mexican pony32: *flies into enemy plane*
Con: Welp, those three are dead!

The 12th Con Mane story is..

Tomorrow Always dies.

Starring

Doughnut Joe....................Con Mane
Snails................................Himself
Steve Jobs........................Himself
upinde wa mvua Dash...................Rain Bouvier
Fenix Lighter.....................Himself
Pinkie Pie..........................P
Spike.................................S
Sydney P. Johnson............T
Lyra Heartstrings...............Miss. Moneybit
Caramel............................Popeye
Japanese ponies...............Good guys
Germans...........................Good guys
South Koreans..................Good guys
Mexicans...........................Bad guys
North Koreans...................Bad guys

Cars provided kwa

Aston Maretin
Chevronet
Dodge
Flam
Flim
Hoofington
Meuzda
Toycolta

Somewhere in the sea of Japan

Japanese sgt: How much longer until we get into Busan?
Japanese captain: Only 20 miles. The south koreans are going to need our supplies quickly.
Korean pilot1: juui ilbon-eo bae beonho 62557 , dangsin-eun bughan yeongto e chim-ib habnida.. (Attention Japanese mashua No. 62557, wewe are trespassing in North Korean territory.)
Japanese pony8: They found us! Get defense weapons ready!
japanese ponies: *load guns*
Korean pilot1: gong-gyeog junbi. (Get ready to attack)
Korean pilot2: gikkeoi. (With pleasure) *shoot boat*
Korean pilot1: *launches missile*
Japanese captain: Abandon ship!!
Japanese ponies: *jump off boat*

Just when everyone got off the boat, it exploded.

Japanese captain: They're leaving. We must swim to shore. *swims*
japanese: *Follow*
Popeye: Waiting for them to come.
Steve Jobs: Come, au cum?
Popeye: wewe know which one I'm talking about.
Steve Jobs: Cum.
Japanese ponies: Please help us.
Popeye: Ok *shoots japanese ponies* It's done.
Steve Jobs: Nice work. Now when wewe get here, cum.
Popeye: Just, stop!

Meanwhile in the United States of Equestria

Dutch mare: bent uitstekend in Nederlands te spreken, Mr..? (You are excellent at speaking Dutch, Mr..?
Con: Mane. Con Mane
Dutch mare: Ik wou dat je niet zo snel gaan (I wish wewe didn't have to go so soon.)
Con: Ja goed je weet jembe, hoe het is helaas. (Yeah well wewe know how it is unfortunately.)

Con's phone soon starts to ring. Just when the two were about to make out

Con: Hello?
Moneybit: Con, where are you?
Con: On my way now. *hangs up.* Wordt vervolgd (To be continued)

Con went to the CIE HQ after he got the call from Moneybit.

P: Hi Con
Con: Hello P. How is it going?
P: Not too good. Check the newspaper
Con: 24 Japanese ponies killed while trying to deliver supplies to South Korea.
P: We have found out that Steve Jobs is the one responsible for causing this mass murder.
Con: He's not even a pony. He's human!
P: I might also be human soon, so get this mission over with!
Con: Alright, does S have any gadgets for me?
P: Ja, go see him before wewe leave.
Con: *goes to lab* S?
S: Right here Con.
Con: Oh hey, wewe were behind me the whole time.
S: Yeah, uh listen I'm about to grow into an adult dragon soon, and I have to retire.
Con: Well who's going to take your place?
??: I am

Then came a gppony, pony with a car for Con.

S: This is the gppony, pony replacing me, Sydney P. Johnson
Con: If you're S, does that make him T?
T: Exactly. The car I have arranged for wewe is a Meuzda Amuem. I added some gadgets to protect it from car thefts, while S worked on the weaponry.
S: And here is a cell phone, also capable of being a remote controller for your car.
Con: Cool.
T: Another thing you'll need *gives Con gun* We aliiba this from the North Koreans, so wewe don't have to worry about ammunition. Steal it from them.
Con: Anything else?
T: A koti, jacket for wewe to wear. In case wewe fall off any ledge wewe can use an inflation device. Take the lower part of the zipper, and insert it-
S: Oh pull the tag! *pulls tag*
T: *gasps* wewe said- *falls on floor* AAAAGH!! S!!!
Con: He seems well suited for the job.
S: Yeah
Con: You're not retiring anytime soon. Are you?
S: wewe listen well Con, I've always tried to teach wewe two things. First, never let them see wewe bleed.
Con: And the second?
S: Always have an escape plan *disapeers*
T: Where did the dragon go?
Con: No clue, but I can tell wewe he's wearing a cloak.

Con had to go to Las Pegasus where Steve Jobs was hosting a party for his "excellent" news

car: Srow down!
Con: I wish S told me about the car talking!
usher: *opens door*
Con: *hands over keys* Don't let her boss wewe around.

Con walked into the building. When he got there, he was greeted with loud music, and flashing lights.

Con: Now let's see what they have here.
Carrot Top: Con?
Con: Oh, hey. I haven't seen wewe in a while
Carrot Top: *slaps Con*
Con: I see now. Other then being gone for too long what have I done to you?
Carrot Top: wewe don't remember?
Con: That's why I asked.
Carrot Top: How about the words, I'll be right back?
Con: I was captured kwa immigrants that wanted me dead. I didn't mean to break your heart.
Carrot Top: Well guess what, wewe did!
Steve Jobs: I see wewe met my wife, Mr..?
Con: Mane. Con Mane.
Steve Jobs: *gives free Ipad* I don't just make the best hand held devices, I'm now in the news business.
Con: I'll bet that goes really well.
Steve Jobs: It does, thanks for asking.
Con: That wasn't a question. *puts Ipad in jacket*
Steve Jobs: Well I have to go now *leaves*
Con: wewe married that man?!
Carrot Top: Hey, he's better then you.
Con: Why couldn't it have been Lyra Heartstrings that married this man? *walks away*

Steve Jobs had plans to attack both the japanese, and the koreans to force them into a war. He would make it look like they attacked each other, but he needed blueprints to a machine he was creating to do that. Con went to steal them.

Mexicans: *guarding blueprint room*
Con: Hola *shoots russians*
Steve Jobs: What was that?
mexican pony12: Gun shots! Sounded like it came from the 2nd floor!
Steve Jobs: Then what are wewe waiting for? Get reinforcements!
mexican pony12: Yes sir!
Con: *steals blueprints*
mexicans: There he is!
??: *K.O's mexicans*
Con: Was that? (It couldn't have been. Time to kill the power) *turns power off*
Steve Jobs: What is going on?!
guests: *run for exit*
Steve Jobs: NO! Stay! This party is being filmed live!

The power comes back on, but there was some zaidi bad news for Steve.

Film crew: We're no longer on air!
Steve Jobs: Why?
Film crew: We don't know
Steve Jobs: You're fired! Get these ponies out of my sight!!
Carrot Top: Steve, it's ok. Some people have to deal with the loss of power.
Steve Jobs: Not me! I am the greatest man ever. I have made so much great news, and devices!
??: *leaves through glass ceiling*
Steve Jobs: Great! Now the ceiling is destroyed!!
??: People that live in glass ceilings should go buck theirselves!

The inayofuata day, Con went to his apartment in L.P. to inform P that he had the blueprints to Steve Job's weapon.

Con: *parks car*
mexicans: He has a red Meuzda parked on 5th street.
Popeye: I'll deal with Con, wewe get the blueprints from his car.
Con: P, it's 0007. I have the blueprints. I'll send them to wewe as soon as possible.
Popeye: *shoots phone* Time's up.
Con: I didn't even put in a quarter.
Popeye: Well, that's not neccesary. *sits on bed*

Meanwhile two Dodge trucks, and a tow truck arrived kwa Con's car

Mexican pony78: We'll wait here, in case he comes.
Steve Jobs: I hope he doesn't cum.
Popeye: Why do wewe want to prevent Mr. Jobs from doing what he does best?
Con: What's that, kill many innocent ponies?
mexicans: *shoot door handles*
mexican pony84: The bullets just richocheted off!!
mexican pony78: Get the sledgehammers. We'll break the windows.
Popeye: He makes really good hand held devices though.
Con: He is a murderer, and wewe know it.
mexicans: *hit glass*
mexican pony84: Great.... Not a single window broke.
mexican pony78: Let's try picking the lock. *grabs keys*
mexican pony84: Why didn't I think of that?

Of course that didn't work, because the keys got electrocuted, and shocked the gppony, pony holding them.

Popeye: Well if wewe really hate Steve Jobs, then let's get this over with
mexican pony84: Popeye! We can't get into his car! HELP!!
Popeye: Oh jeez. I need to borrow your phone
Con: Alright, who do wewe want me to call?
Popeye: No, I'm calling them. How do I do it?
Con: Hit that button above the three, and get your number.
Popeye: *hits button, and gets electrocuted*
Con: *grabs gun*
Popeye: Wait! I'm just a professional doing a job!
Con: Me too *kills Popeye*

The spy then ran toward his car. No one saw him, and he used the remote control setting to get his car toward him.

mexicans: What the hay?
Con: *gets in car, and drives*
Steve jobs: After him! *drives truck*
mexican pony84: *shoots windows* Oh now they break!
car: Incoming car, rook out!
Con: *turns right*
Mexican pony78: *follows Steve*
Con: *goes into parking garage*
Mexican pony84: He went into that building! After him!
Steve Jobs: I'm the boss here! *follows*
Mexican pony78: *also following* The suspect has gone into the sekunde floor!
Mexican pony89: *flying helicopter*
Con: *shoots missiles*
Mexican pony89: I'm hit *flies into garage*
Mexican pony78: Push him into the wreckage!
Con: *drives on 3rd floor*
Steve Jobs: He's close! I got this
Con : *drops tacks*
Steve jobs: I don't got this *crashes into car*
Mexican pony78: I got this *follows Con*
Con: *jumps out of car*

They didn't notice Con jump out of the car, and he used had the remote control to songesha his car around

Con: *goes to juu floor*
Mexican pony78: *follows*
Con: *drives through wall*

The car then flew to the other side of the road, and crashed into a store below

Mexican pony78: *falls off edge*
car: Congraturations for a salama journey
Con: salama my ass. *walks away*

He still had the blueprints, and went to give them to P

After delivering the blueprints, Con was sent to a german military base in South Korea.

Fenix: Con, great to see wewe again
Con: Fenix, wewe can fucking walk! How's it been?
Fenix: Alright, but it was painful to get the leg on.
Con: At least wewe have one.
Fenix: So what do wewe want?
Con: I need to find out about a sunken ship in the sea of japan. Steve Jobs attacked it, but made it look like the North Koreans did the destruction
Fenix: I know how to get wewe there

6 dakika later, they were flying 4,500 feet above the water.

Fenix: Now what wewe want to do is cut the rope right when wewe hit the water.
Con: I'll keep that in mind. *jumps*
german pony63: Sir, look at this!
Fenix: What is it?
German pony63: One of our spies is heading toward the wreckage as well.
Fenix: Could it be?
German pony63: I don't think it's her sir.

Con landed in the water, and cut the rope like Fenix told him too. Now he just had to inspect the wreck.

Con: *swims to bottom*
??: *grabs Con*
Con: Rain Bouvier?!
Rain: Yes.
Con: What are wewe doing?
Rain: Helping you. Follow me
Con: What are wewe inaonyesha me?
Rain: Something that hit the ship. It was reported that korean jets bombed it, but it was hit kwa a submarine missile.
Con: Well that explains a lot. *takes picture* Let's go.

The two ponies swam back to the top, only to be spotted kwa Korean helicopters. And....

Steve Jobs: Nice job wewe guys. Now bring them to HQ
koreans: *jump in water*
Rain: Hold on *grabs Con*
Con: What are we doing?
Rain: *flies* This
Steve Jobs: After her!!
Rain: They're catching up!
Con: Let's steal that bi-plane
Steve Jobs: *grabs gun* Stay on them
Rain: *lands in airplane*
Con: Allow me *flies*
korean pilot: *shoots at plane*
Con: *dodges bullets*
Steve Jobs: This guy is too good.
Con: Take this *gives chain* Throw it at the rotor on the chopper!
Rain: I'm on it *throws chain*
Steve Jobs: What is she doing?
Korean pilot: She got chains to destroy our rotors, we're losing altitude!

The helicopter then fell into the river, while Con, and Rain flew away

Con: wewe were good with the chain.
Rain: Thanks. That's from growing up with others that didn't like me. wewe did good flying the plane.
Con: That, is from not growing up at all.
Rain: *laughs*
Con: Thanks. Now we just stop the inayofuata attack, which will be at the same spot as the awali one.
Rain: Let's do it.

Con, and Rain got a sailboat, and went to the sight of the inayofuata attack. The sun was setting while they were sailing.

Rain: I never got to have a mashua like this. It's cool.
Con: I agree. *sees boat* That's the one.
Rain: Is that a stealth boat?
Con: Yeah it is. *goes in*
Rain: So awesome!! *follows*
korean major: I heard someone say this mashua was awesome. Kill her.
Rain: *kicks major into water*
korean major: NO!! *swims* You're lucky!!
Con: Let's go.

Our Heroes went into a room that showed a radar, and what positions the koreans were attacking.

Steve Jobs: Keep this up, we can't let South Korea get any supplies.
Snails: When wewe see the boat, launch those missiles.
Con: Oh great, this guy.
Rain: Someone wewe know?
Con: I was told he makes the weapons for Steve Jobs.
Rain: Then, let's sabotage them.
Korean pony55: *walks in* Intruders!!
Steve Jobs: It's Con, and the agent for MI3!
Con: *shoots koreans*
Rain: *kills power*
Steve Jobs: Now I get it. I Lost power at last night's party because of wewe two. I should have known the upendo couple would be here.
Rain: We are not in love!
Steve Jobs: Say that all wewe want, but we all know the truth. Tie them up

Con, and Rain were eventually tied up on the floor, and couldn't get up. What will they do now?

Not far away from the stealth boat, a japanese freighter was sending supplies to South Korea. Things were going to be the same as it was in the awali attack, au were they?

Steve Jobs: I see the japanese boat.
Snails: Get the North Koreans notified about this.
Steve Jobs: The Japanese will try to attack, but we need that kombora, yamuua to hit Hong Kong, is it ready?
Snails: Press the magic button, and Hong Kong dissapears.
Steve Jobs: You've outlived your contract. *kills Snails*
Con: How dare you?!
Steve Jobs: It was snails, no one likes him, not even the bronies!
korean pony54: We have two airplanes heading toward them.
Steve Jobs: Excellent. Get the newspapers ready.
Con: *shoots korean pony54*
Steve Jobs: Stop him!
koreans: *restrain Rain Bouvier*
Rain: Let me go!
Steve Jobs: Tie her to the crane, and let her drown.
Con: *kills koreans*
Steve Jobs: What the fuck do wewe think I pay wewe for?! KILL HIM!!
Con: *kills Steve Jobs*
koreans: Our leader is dead *commit suicide*

Meanwhile in Canterlot

S: Con killed Steve Jobs
P: Yes! Now his acts of terrorism are done for!
Japanese: Hold on, what's that?
north koreans: It's a stealth boat. A kombora, yamuua is being launched from it!
Con: *hits abbort code*
Japanese: The kombora, yamuua is falling!
north koreans: Where was it heading?
Japaese: No idea. Why were we fighting again?
North koreans: No clue *leave*
Con: *returns to Canterlot*
rain: *goes to ponyville*

The End

In memory of Ian Fleming, the creator of James Bond.

1908-1964
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Pierce just entered a town called ngome Rock when his car got a flat tire.

Pierce: *Angry* Oh great. *Passes a sign* The nearest service station is a mile away. That's too far. Especially since I have a flat tire. *Goes onto the side of the road*

Karl left Vancouver just as Bob entered it.

Karl: After nearly getting stopped kwa the FBI, I'm just glad this Saratoga I got doesn't have any damage. *Enters Woodland*
Bob: *Driving through Vancouver* Who knew there was another town called Vancouver in Washington? You'd think wewe were in Canada.

Pierce finally stopped at a service station in Castle...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: February 12, 1960
Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Time: 7:31 PM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Half an saa after work, Hawkeye, Stylo, and Pete were with each other at a restaurant. This song was playing: link

Hawkeye: I ordered a hot dog ten dakika ago. Where is it?
Pete: That's not important right now. We still need to get those snowplows, and extra fuel for our engines.
Stylo: But how?
Pete: I think I know how. A train of fuel is going into Denver tomorrow from Los Angeles.
Hawkeye: We can take that without anypony noticing.
Stylo: We just steal it? Isn't that a little dangerous?
Pete: Not if...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, deviantart, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, Facebook
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, Facebook
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After leaving the drugstore, Gordon, and Case cracker, mkate mkavu were thinking about what to do next. They had no zaidi work, and had the rest of the siku off.

Gordon: So, what do wewe want to do, now that we've got the rest of the siku off?
Case Cracker: Hmm..I heard those Wonderbolts will preform in San Fransicolt. But I don't know. What about wewe and your mare friend?
Gordon: I could bring her with us. Would that be ok?
Case Cracker: Okay I guess..
Gordon: You'll have to sit in the back when we get her.
Case Cracker: I figured...Does she live far?
Gordon: Not really. She lives in Russian hill. It should take...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor, deviantart
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor, facebook, deviantart
Okay.. So I'm in Miami hotel.
Nothing else to do today..

Anyway.
Ever seen Haunted History.

You should, it's actually scary.

Anyway.
The one I'm watching one, and it's about the infamish H.H. Homes and how his brutally murdered victims haunted various areas, because they can't rest in peace sense it's unsaved cases, Homes is a evil genish.
Look him up.
He's a fuckin nightmare!

Anyway.
Watching Homes, makes keki 50% scarier.

Because the idea of homes is, he's a nice and gets wewe into seeing his hotel, and acts like a complete normal person.
But they secretly puts sleep gas into your bedroom.
And he...
continue reading...
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners (NOT ME!)
added by tinkerbell66799
Warning. This will be one of most violent chapters. It's based on my inayopendelewa death scene from SAW 2.. Please don't ripoti it though..

SOME TIME THE inayofuata DAY:
Unfortantly, AppleJack soon discovered Saten's body. Shocking her, and making her feel guilty about having been kinda mean to him most times.
Voice: wewe shouldn't be here!
AJ: (jumps a bit and turns to see Big Mac) B Big Mac.. W What did wewe do!?
Big Mac: He annoyed me. All those stories of him, it's unfair, I am WAY zaidi interesting than Saten Twist is, all HE is, is a easily angered douchebag.
AJ: (growls at him)
Big Mac: Don't look at me...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Bodyshop Ponies

Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as mizeituni, mzeituni
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina

It has been an entire week since anypony got to work on any cars. However, Mr. Beddler had news that would put a smile on their faces.

Mr. Beddler: Who likes those musclecars from the 60's?
Edwina: Me!
Olive: I do!
Wheel Bearing: I think I speak for everypony when I say yes.
Gary: wewe think wewe speak for everypony?
Wheel Bearing: What? wewe don't like musclecars?
Gary: It's not that,...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
This part is a parody of Jeopardy. Our cast is

Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game onyesha wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Pleiades as Martha Stewart
and Mortomis as Ozzy Osborne

Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I apologize to everyone watching this earlier before the commercial, and would like to assure wewe that no zaidi rule 34 will be mentioned.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And with that said, let's take a look at the score. We have Ozzy Osborne in sekunde place with negative seventy...
continue reading...
posted by BlackPetals
Hello again. This is my sekunde makala here this month, shortly following one about Luna becoming Nightmare Moon. I humbly ask that wewe look at it. ^.^ (You will get all the hugz!) And this, like the 1,000 years one I made forever ago, is just an makala of lyrics and moments. *Mwah*! Oh, yes. Bold print means it's both sisters.


I remember the nights we spent under city lights, this feelings got the best of me. We were floating along to the sounds of a dead end town, but now that's just a memory.

I remember the times me and Tia actually spent time together. The times when we could forget we...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor, DeviantArt
Twilight was greeting everybody. When suddenly AppleJack approached her.
Twilight: A.J. What a unexpected pleasure (hugs her)
AppleJack: Yes. I-
Derpy: *ends up banging into Twilight as well, and happily hugs her*
Twilight: *chuckles* Yes. Yes. Nice seeing wewe too Derpy.
Derpy: *sees her wearing the dress from when she first became an alicorn* wewe look pretty in that.
Twilight: Thanks.. Yours is nice too. *not sure what Derpy's dress should look like. Except for being then same shade of grey, as her fur, manyoya au whatever farasi have.. I'm not good with that stuff. So shut up*
Derpy: kwa the way. wewe ever...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Soon, Hawkeye and Gordon got their trains onto Sherman Hill. They were still close to each other.

Gordon: *On the radio* Hey, can anypony hear me?
Orion: I hear you. What's up?
Gordon: I'm racing Hawkeye. There is no way he is going to beat me.
Orion: Wanna bet?
Gordon: wewe gotta be kidding. I am winning the race, and I am way out in front. I told wewe that there is no way Hawkeye will beat me. (Hawkeye is actually winning, but I can't let Orion know that.)
Orion: Pierce is a good engineer. He will find a way to beat wewe in the race.
Gordon: Whatever. wewe alisema wewe wanted to make a wager?
Orion: Ah,...
continue reading...
added by SkyheartPegasus
Source: EQD
added by SkyheartPegasus
Source: EQD