My Little Poney Club
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con found Lola tied to her bed, and there was tape on her mouth.

Con: *Frees Lola* What happened?
Lola: One of Frank's men came here, and tied me to this chair. He kept asking me where wewe were, but I didn't say anything.
Con: And that's why he tied wewe to the bed?
Lola: Yes.
Con: Well it's over. I killed him, and now we got to dump his body somewhere.
Lola: Where are we going to do that?
Con: Tonight. Oh, and I got the groceries. This should be enough for our flight into Equestria.
Lola:Con! *hugs Con* We can't go back to Equestria. Your boss will be looking for you.
Con: He won't know where I am. As long as we stay away from Canterlot.
Lola: Okay. *Sees groceries* wewe didn't forget the canolli's, right?
Con: Of course I didn't. They're right in that bag with the other groceries wewe told me to get.

Hours passed, and eventually it was dark. Con, and Lola stuffed David's dead body into a big black bag, and they were going to dump it in the ocean.

Con: *Goes to front desk* We'd like to check out.
dawati Clerk: Sign here, and you're able to leave.
Con: *Signs paper*
dawati Clerk: Alright, thank wewe for staying with us. We hope wewe come back soon.
Con: *Leaves*
dawati Clerk: Hmph. He could have at least alisema thank you.
Lola: *Puts body in back of car* All set.
Con: I'll drive *gets in driver's seat*
Lola: *Sits inayofuata to Con*
Con: *Starts car, and drives off*
Lola: I never did thank wewe for saving me.
Con: It's all part of my job. *Turns left*
Lola: What else do wewe do in your job?
Con: I drive sports cars, shoot other ponies, kill other ponies, and that's pretty much about it.
Lola: Do wewe like your job?
Con: Yeah. What's not to like?
Police: *Behind Con, with sirens on*
Con: Really? *Pulls over*
Lola: Why did wewe stop?
Con: Don't worry. I got this all planned out.
Police Pony: *Walks to front of car* Sir, step out of the car.
Con: *Exits car*
Police Pony: This isn't your car.
Con: I know, Lola is letting me drive it.
Police Pony: In australia, we don't care if the owner of a car let's wewe drive it. You're still not allowed to drive cars that belong to anypony, but yourself.
Con: Is that so? *Punches police pony*
Police Pony: *Falls on ground*
Con: *Grabs gun* Now what do wewe have to say about it?
Police Pony: wewe are a dangerous pony.
Con: *Shoots Police Pony* Lola, change of plans. We're getting rid of the body in this dumpster.
Lola: *Drags out body*
Con: *Opens dumpster*
Lola: *Puts body in dumpster* Now what?
Con: wewe alisema we'd go to the airport.

2 B continued
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor
added by Notjus
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor
Everyone is praticing the wedding.

Princess Celestia: Perfect, girls. No need to rush. Then of course, Cadance will enter.

Princess Celestia: I'll say a few words, and then we'll begin with the vows. Shining Armor, you'll get the ring from your best mare.

Spike: [deep voice] Do you? [high voice] I do!

Shining Armor: Hey... has anyone seen Twilight?

[doors open]

Twilight Sparkle (angrily): I'm here! I'm not gonna stand inayofuata to her! And neither should you!

Shining Armor: I'm sorry, I... I don't know why she's uigizaji like this.

Saten Twist: Maybe her period.

Derpy (her and Glaze were invited. Trixie two,...
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The main six have a picnic. Saten invited as despite not always getting along with them, he's ther friend. Espically to AppleJack, his ex girlfriend but still friend. And somewhat of a brother/sister relationship to Twilight. Though not as much as he later has with Starlight Glimmer.

Spike: Twi... light! ...I... have... Lemme just... [deep breath] [belch]

Twilight Sparkle (before alicord): Dear Twilight, I am sure wewe are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot. [to the others] Wedding? [reading] I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like wewe and your friends...
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Mini one shot story.. Using a scrpt from youtube's DICK FIGURES:

Saten and Sword arrive in Saten's hometown Fillydefia. kwa stagecoach.

Saten: Thanks for the drive Glaze.

Glaze Woodtoaster (driving stagecoach): Sure. (rides off)

Master Sword: Rrraaaagh, camp counselors?! This is gonna be the lamest job ever!

Saten Twist: Look, your the one saying we need a summer job.. Plus the money wewe owe me.

Master Sword: I owe wewe money?

(Whiteboard says:
Sword owes Saten: $11,271.33

Master Sword: Oh.. Right..

(Time lapse. They arrive at Camp Redwood, from Saten's town Fillydefia)

Saten Twist:: Huh, man, being back...
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Fluttershy (throws down gun and back to normal cute self): There.. They're dead.. We saved Christmas.. We get a wish.. Anything wewe guys wanna wishful?

Saten [thinks]: Yeah.. There is.

The lions' cave. Some magic revives the mother lion.

Mother Lion: Wha - Oh my, what happened?

Cubs: Mommy! (they hug her)

Saten (watching with the girls) [relieved]: Oh, good.

Trixie: Man.. This was fucked up Christmas..

Saten: Yeah.. But still beat thanksgiving with Derpy's crazy boyfriend.

Master Sword: I've been waiting for this all year.. (pulls out the turkey) Giving wewe people the bird.

Saten: Oh.. (hand goes to the turkey) Looks so go- AH! SHIT!

Sword: (stabbed the hand with large fork) Neh uh.. Not til we say grace.


I like assuming Sword is a shabiki favorite. For his comedic insanity. Smilar to Trevor Phillips, but a lessor extent..

But who knows. He probably isn't..
The woodland critters continue decorating their mti and also the manger Trixie made them.

Beavery: [looks around] Hey, look everyone! It's our old pal, Twisty. [the other critters turn and look, Saten flies over, Trixie behind him for backup.

Woodpeckery: Oh boy, buddy. wewe came just in time!

Deery: Yeah. We've got a big problem. We ne-

Saten (holding hammer): Shut up! We're not doing wewe anymore favors and I'm not letting wewe give birth to the Antichrist! [walks off] I came here to put a stop to all this!

Beavery: To stop us?

Trixie: wewe heard him.

Beary: But gee whiz Saten, if wewe and your lady...
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The critters are still there. Trixie paces anxiously.

Porcupiney [feeling a kick]: Oooo.

Beary: wewe all right, Lady Porcupiney?

Porcupiney: Oh yes, just felt a little kick is all.

Beavery: Well, it's been much too long now. Uh I'm afraid our helpful friend Stanny must be very dead.

Fox: Yep, the mountain lion probably swallowed him whole.

Trixie (sarcastically): Way to comfort me.

Rabbity: I guess that means our Savior is gonna be made into Savior stew.

Trixie: Guess that means I gotta kill wewe (prepares horn)

Critters: Awwww.

Trixie: Shut up!

Chickadee-y: [flitting straight up into the air] Wait a minute,...
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Narrator: High up in the forest on a dark, craggy peak, the horrid mountain lion and preyed on the weak. For the critters to be saved, someone had to stop that nasty old cat...

Saten (annoyed as he flies up to mountain): Goddammit, this is fucking ridiculous!

Narrator: alisema the little red pony.

Saten (annoyed): Shut up.

Narrator: Killing a mountain lion was no easy task, But he thought of a plan, and he thought of it fast.

Saten (timidly infront of cave): G -Grrr! Grrr! Come on out! [The lion is heard roaring from inside the cave, and it roars. It approaches the entrance.] Come on, critter killer!...
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The forest. Trixie has built the manger and is hammering the last few nails in place. Her hair white uncombed. It actually kinda pretty. In a unkempt kinda way. Saten stays in the back, smoking a jointas he's not needed. And feel "needs one"

Narrator: And out in the woods the boy steamed right ahead, making a place for the critter babe to lay its sweet head.

Trixie: (to Saten) Any zaidi of those?

Saten: wewe smoke?

Trixie: not til just now.

Saten: Good point (passes the joint to her and she uses it) May wanna take it slow. Your first time using it sense that hippy tamasha wewe went too.

Trixie: (coughs)...
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THE inayofuata MORNING:

Saten and Trixie assumably had sex sense this is a zaidi mature seres than the real MLP, though it only shows the aftermath, Trixie's hair messy. Though she looks a little disappointed.

Saten: ... I'm really sorry.

Trixie: No, wewe were nervous. It's okay.

Saten: Lot on my mind.

Trixie: There were.. Parts.. I liked.

Saten: ... Good enough for me, I should use the bathroom.. (turns on lamp and sees the critters) AHHH!

Trixie (covers herself that much more): AHHH, WHAT!?

Saten (annoyed): Nothing, just those stupid critters again.

Narrator: His Marafiki were all there! What a wonderful surprise!...
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This is retelling a South Park episode. Almost word to word. But I change some characters.. And some dialogue, particalary Saten's dialogue change from Stan's..

This episode is just me trying to see how much dark content I could get away with..

Narrator: Way up in the mountains in a small little town, The Main mitaani, mtaa was being decorated all up and down. People stood in long lines, sometimes waiting hours au more, Because krisimasi needs to be bought in a store.
But out in the forest, not too far away...

Nearby forest. Cute forest wanyama gather round and decorate a small pine tree.

Narrator: The...
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added by unicornqueenfl2
Later, Trixie puts on her onyesha as planned, but her delivery is flat and unenthusiastic as a result of her falling out with Starlight; regardless, she intends to go through with the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive. On a nearby hill, Twilight and Saten (who's serprisingly serious this episode) approach the heartbroken Starlight and Twilight apologizes for trying to pick and choose her Marafiki for her.

Saten: What about me?

Twilight: You?.. Oh right.. Sorry for not listening to you.

Starlight: But... what if Trixie really was using me just to one-up you?

Saten: People change. Look at my mom.

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Twilight Sparkle: Ahem? wewe just decided to skip our chajio, chakula cha jioni without telling me? Are wewe aware that, at this very moment, Princess Celestia is waiting for wewe at a meza, jedwali with exquisite silverware placement?!

Starlight Glimmer: Yes, but—

Twilight Sparkle: This is exactly why I didn't want wewe to make Marafiki with Trixie.

Trixie: A-ha! wewe still don't trust me! But guess what, princess? It doesn't matter if wewe want to give me a sekunde chance au not. Starlight had to choose between wewe and me, and she chose me! Your pupil chose me, so ha! I win!

continue reading...