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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Master Sword
Master Sword
A gppony, pony named Master Sword was the conductor of the train Bartholomew was going to drive.

Master Sword: All aboard!
Lady: *Blows whistle twice*
Signal Pony: *turns signal green*
Lady: *drives train* wewe know what this engine is we're driving?
Bartholomew: A 4-8-4?
Lady: Yeah, but we call them Neighagaras. We have 25 of them, and they're named after the Neighagara falls.
Bartholomew: Beautiful.

The train was gathering zaidi speed as it left Harmon.

Bartholomew: *Sees station* What kind of trains stop there?
Lady: Only commuter trains. Some passengers take the train there into Grand Central, and then they take another train on the Harlem Division to get into the Bronx.
Bartholomew: What division are we on?
Lady: The Hudson Division.
Bartholomew: Why is it called that?
Lady: Look to your left.
Bartholomew: *Looking at Hudson River* Oh, I get it. That's pretty clever. If I'm not mistaken, the Hudson Division is also part of the Water Level Route into Chicagoat.
Lady: That's right.
Bartholomew: Good old Chicagoat. I went there once when I still worked on the U.P.
Lady: Could wewe tell me about it?
Bartholomew: Certainly. What happened was, a crazy gppony, pony named Orion Stardust caused an accident in the train yard on purpose, just before I was assigned to be the conductor of a freight going into Chicagoat.
Lady: Continue.
Bartholomew: Our train was being pulled kwa five diesels, but one of them was having engine trouble.
Lady: Nothing like the good old steam locomotive. Always reliable, and rarely breaking down.
Lady: So what did wewe have to do?
Bartholomew: We just stopped, and another engine had to take over. Nothing serious really, but just a little bit of an adventure.
Lady: Sounds like one for sure.

Soon, a tunnel could be seen in the distance, and in front of the tunnel was a station.

Lady: We have to stop here, and drop off some baggage.
Bartholomew: Oh really?
Lady: Yeah.
Skywalker: *Flying kwa train* hujambo Lady, wanna go on a tarehe tonight? I'm buying!
Lady: No thank wewe Skywalker.
Bartholomew: Skywalker? What kind of a name is that?
Lady: I know, right?
Bartholomew: If wewe ask me, it sounds zaidi like the last name for somepony.
Lady: Who?
Bartholomew: I don't know, but I'm sure a movie will be created about him sometime in the future. Many movie companies are creative wewe know.
Lady: Right.
Skywalker: Hey, did wewe forget about me?
Lady: Of course not.
Skywalker: Good, because my train got derailed further up the line. Be careful.
Lady: Who do wewe think wewe are, Casey Jones?
Skywalker: Maybe I am. wewe got a problem with that?
Porters: *Finish unloading mail*
Master Sword: All aboard!
Lady: We'll argue again later. *Blows whistle twice, and drives away*
Skywalker: *Lands on station* Hey, I need help getting my train back on the tracks.
Porters: We're porters, not a breakdown gang.
Skywalker: Well get the breakdown gang so they can get my train back on the tracks.
Porters: Right. *Go inside to talk on telephone*

2 B continued

Warning: I could not get Skywalker's picha on here, so here's a link to it instead link
 Lady's engine for the train
Lady's engine for the train
added by TimberHumphrey
added by TimberHumphrey
video
my
magic
friendship
my little gppony, pony
My Little Poney
video
my
magic
friendship
my little gppony, pony
My Little Poney
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Song: link
 Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy onyesha that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank wewe everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank wewe very much....
continue reading...
wewe see that weight on your wings?
So i know what you're feeling
Yeah, wewe got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

Don't let your colors
bleed into grey
We got each other
and chances to take
Yeah, wewe got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

I'll chase the sky with you
I'll chase the night with you
I'll chase the light with you
If wewe wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
If wewe wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Anything in your heart
Is zaidi than worth keeping (Mmm)
I'll shoot for the stars
If that's what wewe needed

Just say the word
and baby, i'll run
I'll find a way
to go beyond the sun
I'll...
continue reading...
posted by TimberHumphrey
so here are a few theories i got for this show:

Theory #1: since Hasbro and DHX never even bothered to give Cozy Glow any semblance of a backstory, my theory is that she's actually a fully-grown adult gppony, pony stuck inside a filly's body. she was born with a condition that never let her physically age after filly-hood.

Theory #2: while we do know Sunset used to be Celestia's juu student, i always thought there was something zaidi to it than just a teacher-student relationship. and since we never get to see if Sunset had parents at some point in time, my theory is that she's Celestia's adopted daughter. remember how worried Celestia was about Sunset at the end of the first EqG movie? yeah, something tells me they're zaidi than just teacher and ex-student.

Theory #3: at one point in time, King Sombra used to be a great and loved king, before he became corrupted kwa his desire for power that forced Celestia and Luna to banish him into the abyss.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The final part of Tom Foolery's onyesha is here.

Tom: Now, most of wewe probably don't know this, but we all have several things in common. I'll give wewe an example. We're all here together, in the greatest city in Maressouri.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: I have some even funnier ones. When you're in your car, and wewe stop at a red light. Do wewe ever try to songesha an extra inch au two?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But when wewe see other cars in front of you, you're in no rush to get as close to the other guy as possible. wewe just coast to the red light.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Coast to the red light, then all of a sudden...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom was now making fun of the modern movie industry.

Tom: As much as I enjoy being an actor, when I'm not entertaining wewe with jokes.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: I always want to make sure the movie I'm in is good. They're not all comedies, my most hivi karibuni film, Suicide was actually quite dark. Yet for some reason, comedians feel like it's a great way to improve their career. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a dramatic R-rated film will not improve your comedy career.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's why no one knows who Jim Carrey is anymore.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: His hivi karibuni role as Dr. Robotnik...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom continued insulting politicians, much to the delight of his audience.

Tom: Presidential candidates are always a good target for comedians to make fun of, but wewe know what another maarufu target is? Black Lives Matter.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Many black ponies are accusing millions of ponies of the Caucasian race, for something only one police officer did in the Midwest!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Who's the racist now wewe assholes?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And do wewe really think that every single Caucasian hates blacks?! When did we time travel back to the 18th Century?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Even the...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What's a comedy onyesha without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, au the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, au Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why?...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After mentioning things wewe should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: wewe know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where wewe can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy onyesha that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank wewe everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank wewe very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Jerry: Sorry, but I got nothing.
Vito: I don't feel like dying. That's the reason we left the family in the first place.
Harlan: *Hears a car* What's that? *Looks out the window*
Vito: What is it?
Harlan: A cop.

The three stallions started to panic, but Vito had a plan.

Vito: I think I know what to do. Go upstairs and let me handle this.
Police Pony: *Rings the doorbell*
Vito: *Opens the door* How can I help wewe officer?
Police Pony: We got a complaint a while ago. Apparently this morning, some ponies had a gunfight just in front of your house. wewe know anything about this?
Vito: No. I was riding...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black convertible, kubadilishwa with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the convertible, kubadilishwa they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.

---

Tim: *Gets punched three times kwa a blue unicorn. He gets punched one zaidi time, and his glasses break*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting inayofuata to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted kwa the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting inayofuata to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Saten Twist returned to Los Angeles in the Super Chief, he saw Jake looking at him.

Jake: *Angry*
Saten: *Sweating* Why is he giving me that look? *Stops the train*
Jake: *Tapping his left front hoof on the ground, waiting for Saten Twist*
Saten: *Climbs down from the engine's cab* Why are wewe angry at me?
Jake: wewe owe me an apology for the way wewe talked to me yesterday.
Saten: John-
Jake: IT'S JAKE!!!!
Saten: Why are wewe getting angry at me all of a sudden?
Jake: Your lecture towards me made me lose my job, and now I can't find work anywhere else.
Saten: wewe quit?
Jake: Yeah. I'm still waiting...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link
 Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*


Albuquerque, New Mexicolt. July 19th, 1958

Saten Twist: *Walking towards the Super Chief*
Stallion 16: Here to take this train all the way to Los Angeles?
Saten Twist: *Nods, and climbs into the cab*
Conductor: All aboard!!
Saten Twist: *Blows the horn twice, and makes the train go forward*
 This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies.
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies....
continue reading...
Oh shit, BT's not making fun of someone this time around? (well in an indirect way I might be but let's see where this goes)

Yeah, I don't care if anyone reads this, I just want to get this off of my chest, because I'm gonna try and be real with this site for once and it's 1 AM in the morning.

One thing I've noticed in the time that i've been a part of this club (since like, 2012 au something, idk), is that this club has Lost its backbone. The hivi karibuni year, now, I've been shitposting like mad, pissing in everyone's cornflakes. I have admittedly been the worst kind of person, for NO good reason....
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, EQD