April 3, 1957
Pete was at the train station, getting ready to go on vacation, but Hawkeye wasn't here.
Pete: *Calling Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: *At his house, not feeling well. He hears the phone ring, and walks to it* Hello?
Pete: Pierce. wewe don't sound too well. Are wewe okay?
Hawkeye: No. I tried calling wewe earlier, but I passed out.
Pete: wewe do realize Gordon will be in charge now because of this.
Hawkeye: *Sarcastic* This siku just keeps getting better, and better.
Pete: Take care of yourself, and I'll see wewe when I get back. *Hangs up*
Hawkeye: Oh joy. *Passes out again*
Back at the trainstation
Pete: *Packing clothing* Alright, I got clothing, food, money, and I think that's everything.
Percy: *Runs into Pete's office* We got a problem sir!
Pete: What is it?
Percy: Scottish ponies! They're trying to steal everything from a freight train in the yards.
Pete: Let's get 'em.
There were five scottish ponies. Two of them were taking chakula from a refrigerated boxcar, and the other three were stealing boardgames.
Scottish gppony, pony 3: Get as many boardgames as wewe can! We'll sell them, and make lots of money!
Pete: *Arrives with Percy* HEY! Put those back!
Scottish gppony, pony 2: Shit! Let's go! *Runs away*
Scottish gppony, pony 5: *Goes into a boxcar*
Pete: Percy, wewe get those four, I'll get the other one!
Percy: Yes sir! *Runs after four scottish ponies* Hey! Come back!!
Scottish gppony, pony 5: *Gets onto other side of train, and climbs a ladder to the top*
Pete: *Looking in boxcar* I'm gonna find you. *Gets to other side*
Scottish gppony, pony 5: *Laying on juu of the train*
Pete: *Sees scottish pony* There wewe are!
Scottish gppony, pony 5: *Running on juu of train*
Pete: *Climbing ladder to juu of train*
Scottish gppony, pony 5: *Trips, and hits the ground*
Pete: *Climbs back down, and goes to scottish pony*
Scottish gppony, pony 5: *Tries to stand up* Me leg. It's broken!
Pete: That's what wewe get for trying to steal from our trains.
Percy: *Returns* They got away sir.
Scottish gppony, pony 5: Ha! I knew wewe couldn't catch them.
Pete: Yeah, well I'm sure they're not gonna risk their lives to come save you.
Scottish gppony, pony 5: *Sighs* Damnit.
Pete: What's your name?
Scottish gppony, pony 5: Mike Gonzo.
Percy: What kind of a name is that?
Mike: It's the name my mother gave me! wewe got a problem with that?
Pete: Do wewe have a job Mike?
Mike: No sir, I don't.
Pete: Well wewe do now. Welcome to the Union Pacific.
Mike: So what? I drive trains for wewe now?
Pete: Not really. I want wewe to work in the yards. Percy, take Mike over to Snowflake. She will onyesha Mike how to do his job properly.
Percy: Yes sir.
So Pete went back to getting ready for his vacation, and Percy took Mike to Snowflake.
Snowflake: *In the yard tower, talking on the radio* Train 605, we do not have enough room. Divert yourself to the nearest siding, and wait for my command.
gppony, pony Engineer: Ten-4, I'm putting my train in a siding now.
Percy: *Knocks on door four times*
Snowflake: *Gets off radio* Come in.
Percy: *Walks in with Mike* New worker Snowflake.
Mike: Call me Gonzo.
Snowflake: Sounds like a name for a character in a kid's show. So Pete assigned wewe to work in the yards, huh?
Mike: Yes, I guess so. Who's Pete?
Percy: That grey stallion with the yellow mane? He's your boss.
Mike: That's just bloody great.
Snowflake: Are wewe from Scotland?
Mike: Aye. I am.
Snowflake: Well let me onyesha wewe what to do.
During Snowflake's teachings on how to work in a trainyard, Gordon was in Pete's office.
Pete: Hawkeye is sick, so I'm having wewe take over... Unfortunately.
Gordon: Thank wewe sir. wewe won't regret this.
Pete: Why do I find that difficult to believe?
Gordon: Shut up, and go on your vacation.
Pete: I am, but if I hear wewe do anything careless, au stupid, your plot is out of here. *Walks away*
Gordon: *Thinking* Thankfully, what I have planned is not careless, au stupid.
2 B continued