NCIS Club
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# Your computer malfunctions and you're looking around for McGee to fix it.
# The televisheni network shows a promo for a re-screen and wewe can name episode title AND number.
# wewe wander the convenience stores hoping to find Caff-Pow.
# wewe have an overwhelming desire to head slap anyone who ticks wewe off
# wewe find yourself scanning bookstore shelves for a copy of "Deep Six"
# wewe find yourself calling the office junior 'Probie'
# wewe see everywhere someone who reminds wewe of an NCIS character, wewe could swear they were their double, when they're probably nothing like them!
# wewe actually consider a buibui web tattoo on your neck
# wewe begin building a mashua in your basement just like the one Gibbs has
# wewe super-glued your co-worker's fingers to his keyboard and then left the room
# wewe look on the Internet for a Mighty panya, kipanya stapler
# wewe postpone needed surgery because wewe might still be under when the onyesha comes on
# wewe ask a bunch of nuns if wewe can bowl with them
# wewe take to drinking strong black sugarless pop kwa the gallon
# wewe teeter on impossible stilettos
# wewe confuse English expressions
# wewe start talking to any dead creature
# wewe talk to your PC, CD player, TV and all other forms of technology in your life
# wewe hold conferences with your neighbours in the lift in your block of flats
# wewe drive at breakneck speed ignoring traffic and traffic signs
# wewe take to wearing a dog collar, alama with studs au spikes instead of pearl necklaces
# wewe dye your hair red
# You're convinced your life will be complete if only wewe can obtain a farting hippo stuffed toy that wewe can name Bart
# wewe dye your hair black and wear it in pigtails
# wewe become a Goth
# wewe start wearing black lipstick
# wewe have a penchant for long winded stories
# Your catchphrase becomes "D'ya think?" au "On it boss!"
# wewe write novels using your workmates as your chanzo of inspiration
# wewe get into forensic science
# Your favourite hat is a bright machungwa, chungwa beanie
# wewe only notice young men who wear Italian designer label suits/footwear au silver-haired blue-eyed men who buy their clothes from Sears
# wewe start referring to water baridi gossip as 'scuttlebutt'
# wewe refer to the loo/restroom as the 'head' -- and wewe were never in the Navy
# wewe talk about 'zulu time'
# wewe 'profile' any potential friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/customer/neighbour
# wewe insist that the sekunde B in your name stands for 'B******' - even if your name doesn't have a B in it!
# wewe can eat cold pizza without your stomach churning
# wewe can go on a frat holiday to Panama Beach
# wewe have frat brothers even if wewe haven't the foggiest what that is
# wewe start threatening people that bug wewe that you'll kill them 18 different ways with a paper clip, if they don't shut up.
# Take to calling men 'skirt chasers'
# Seriously look into getting color-contacts and try to copy the exact tint of Gibbs' eyes. [or which ever character floats your boat.]
# wewe give up sunbathing to get that alabaster coloured skin
# wewe sleep with a gun under your pillow
# wewe give your lover honey dust
# wewe take a liking to the smell of sawdust
# wewe have problems using chopsticks when eating Chinese take-away
# The idea of building a mashua in your basement, even though wewe will have no way to get it out of the basement when completed without demolishing several walls, seems like a sane, rational, intelligent thing to do.
# Drinking bourbon neat becomes your favourite tipple
# wewe give up watching the 6 Nations Cup (rugby) to watch baseball
# Get your partner to wear comfortable loafers instead of Doc Martens
# wewe start addressing people, particularly men, kwa their surname, dropping the 'mister' entirely.
# wewe connect with kids when before you'd have run a mile
# wewe become versed in ballistics
# wewe become fascinated kwa military acronyms
# wewe begin calling your boss "Director"
# wewe call wild drivers "Zivas"
# wewe discover wewe can instill fear in people simply kwa glaring at them
# When a friend asks for support wewe say 'on your six'
# wewe think the FBI is inefficient
# wewe consider wewe and your lover having a quickie at the local morgue
# wewe begin to wonder what sex in an armoured personnel carrier would be like.
# wewe suddenly like men dressed in Gunnery Sergeant uniforms with au without the cover (cap/hat)
# wewe want your kids/lover/partner to carry a GPS chip about their person so they can be located at any time
# wewe become a bomb disposal expert
# wewe consider renaming your children/grandchildren Jethro and Abby
# wewe spend most of your time reading/writing NCIS Fiction on shabiki Fiction.Net. (guilty!)
# wewe buy DVD copies of sinema that have NCIS cast members in, even though they are sinema wewe wouldn't normally watch. (guilty!)
# wewe spend another large amount of your time kusoma NCIS Fiction on shabiki Fiction.Net and NCISArchive.Net
# wewe get DVD copies of shows with NCIS cast members even if wewe don't like the shows
# wewe rout wewe Tube for interviews/snippets of alisema cast
# You're favourite car is a sedan
# wewe have several duplicate mobiles/cellphones in case wewe break one
# wewe have a new respect for the Israeli Army--especially the female members
# wewe call the outsourced staff at your office 'liaison' workers
# And if your big boss is female wewe address her as Madam, Director, au Ma'am
# wewe refer to a stethoscope as a 'Rubber Ducky'
# The randy smart-aleck male in your office is nicknamed DiNozzo
# wewe start calling your husband/significant other My little hairy butt.
# wewe ask your husband/significant other to call wewe Sweetcheeks instead of honey au babe.
# wewe head slap everyone close to wewe who says/does something annoying.
# wewe start uigizaji out your fav scenes in your fav episodes
# wewe call your friends/family NCIS characters
# Any long winded speaker au who frequently goes off at a tangent is affectionately called a Ducky
# wewe begin to use "Elf Lord" as a pet name for your significant other (I don't currently have one, but I can assure wewe it's my new inayopendelewa pet name)
# wewe want to buy an old fashioned typewriter, regardless of whether au not wewe actually write
# wewe hope to take up knife-throwing in the near future
# wewe look for "Lo Ball" CDs in every electronics section wewe visit and online stores like Amazon.com (guilty!)
# wewe don't mind starting work at 7 in the morning (I'm usually in the office at 0630... what does that make me?)
# Having your weekend tarehe interrupted to do some urgent work
# wewe maoni 'nice cover' to an elderly gentleman wearing an NCIS hat. He proceeds to inform wewe that it is not merely a prop, but one he received from his daughter who is an NCIS agent! wewe are thoroughly impressed and want to ask if she has another. (Thanks for letting us play in the TV version of your world, NCIS. Stay safe.)
# wewe go to work with a cold and when co-workers suggest that wewe see a doctor wewe look for Ducky.
# wewe start looking for DiNozzo, Kate, Gibbs and Col. Mann when wewe see service members in uniform. (And DiNozzo among the Village People!)
# wewe hit the Internet/library to find out what poison ivy looks like because wewe don't want to end up like poor McGee. (You also find the proportions for the baking soda/vinegar paste, and/or keep a bottle of calamine lotion with wewe at all times, just in case.)
# Your reason for never getting a cold is because no virus/germ/bug would dare to even get near wewe - 'cos if Gibbs can get away with it, so can you
# wewe try to imitate Gibbs' glare when people don't do what wewe want when wewe want in the way wewe want.
# wewe get really excited when wewe find out wewe grew up in the same town Mark Harmon's father was from!
# Every time wewe see a Dodge Charger, wewe look inside expecting to see Gibbs, Tony, McGee, and Ziva in the car.
# wewe get a mini and drive Ziva-style (like a maniac)
# wewe hunt perfume counters looking for one that smells like gunpowder au bourbon (even though wewe know Abby made them... wewe still hope to get lucky).
# wewe hunt for a cologne that smells like sawdust to give to your man (and wewe wish Abby was around to create one for you).
# wewe get up before human hours to get a promo DVD and then watch the one episode all day
# wewe watch an old promo video for hours because there is a couple of sekunde of NCIS in the 'all the shows' ad promo.
# The only prospective boyfriends you're interested in have silver hair and blue eyes who drink coffee like there was no tomorrow.
# wewe realise mustang is not only a kind of horse but also a kind of car (you're doing extremely well when wewe know it's a Ford)
# Your mobile ring tone is the NCIS theme tune
# Your PC au cellphone (mobile) karatasi la kupamba ukuta is one of the cast/whole cast
# Your PC screen saver has NCIS scenes
# When wewe say something rocks, you're not exactly talking about muziki :-))
# wewe realise not all geeks are nerds
# wewe start blabbering on like Abby
# wewe talk geek-speak, not English
# Friends/co-workers ask wewe to translate geek-speak
# wewe are suddenly bad at computers and all technology
# wewe are suddenly good at computers and all technology
# wewe decide to do computer classes to be zaidi like McGee and Abby
# wewe call technology doo-dah's
# wewe find yourself getting angrier zaidi easily
# wewe get shy and stutter more
# wewe want to be able to do everything that the cast can do (never mind the fact that they have stunt doubles!)
# wewe are considering taking art classes so wewe can sketch Tony {or whichever character} when they come on the screen.
# wewe believe wewe know everything there is to know about the Navy.
# wewe ramble off a bit of computer terms, having no clue what they mean.
# wewe tafuta high and low for a paint gun so wewe can shoot your favourite toy in the head.
# wewe watch every movie Tony mentions on the onyesha for 2 reasons, either because wewe are interested in the movie, au simply because wewe do everything that Tony says.
# wewe seriously consider getting a coffin to sleep in.
# wewe say your occupation is "making shabiki art and uandishi shabiki fiction"
# wewe take part in all the active threads on the site
# You've created about half the active threads on the site
# wewe start listening to Israeli rap.
# wewe make Mii's of all the NCIS Characters on your Wii (Even Lee and Fornell)
# wewe learn how to kill with a paper clip
# Your idea of computer maintenance is to continually hit it until it works.
# wewe start calling everyone named Abigail, "Abbs" (I do this with my friend's daughter. --abbysciuto77)
# wewe Google picha of female Israeli soldiers
# wewe acquire an acute interest in the different post-mortem protocols
# wewe discuss the pros and cons of the Scotland Yard and Virchow post-mortem protocols, likewise any of the others used
# wewe hear something that wewe swear is a quote from the onyesha and whip out your dvd sets and watch until wewe find that quote.
# wewe start keeping an extra set of clothes at the office just in case
# wewe call odd things in your life "hinky" (Guilty as charged!)
# wewe call Mark Harmon/Jethro Gibbs au any othersilver haired man in your life your "silver-haired fox"
# wewe discover (or are reminded) that a "Gypsy" is an off the clock cab driver, not someone who tells fortunes and wears hoop earrings.
# wewe get hubby/better half to wear a silver/steel ID bracelet like Gibbs'
# wewe start wearing a silver/steel ID bracelet like Gibbs'
# Your whole family can quote NCIS even though they've never seen it.
# wewe know everything there is to know about all the characters - permanent and occasional
# When your teacher/boss/parent tells wewe to do some small job au chore, wewe say "Ya know, most agencies have people to do these things."
# wewe create a Sims family of the NCIS cast
# wewe think goth fashion is the most chic
# wewe invent a role game of the series
# wewe use this site banner for your own website/letter headings, etc.
# wewe start Googling Ducky's stories to check for accuracy.
# wewe spend a whole week reminding everyone wewe know exactly how long it is until NCIS is on next.
# wewe think April 8, 2008 should be a holiday. (First new episode after the strike!! Yay!)
# When wewe get smacked on the back of your head, and your first words are "Thank wewe Boss!"
# wewe have watched the Cast Interrogation video ten dozen times already since they came out Tuesday 8th
# You've learned their majibu to those maswali off pat
# wewe sign up with all the online NCIS sites
# wewe can't stop posting on the NCIS Wiki.
# wewe dream about NCIS
# wewe wear out your DVD and the discs, from re-running marathons
# wewe read all these statements and answered at least one with "positive".
# You've willingly joined NCIS Addicts Anonymous despite knowing there's no way out and the addiction only gets stronger
# Your German Shepherd is no longer called Rex but Jethro
# And if wewe have a female German Shepherd wewe will call her Jenny to keep it all in the family :-)
# wewe start yelling at people who annoy wewe "Bad McGee!"
# wewe take your phone off the hook/switch your mobile to silent mode when watching an episode
# Family and Marafiki know they must not call kwa phone/in person while you're watching an episode unless it's a swali of life and death, and even then ....
# wewe become obsessed with what the scriptwriters have in store for the cast
# wewe draw comics of NCIS.
# wewe write 'I upendo NCIS' on any paper surface wewe can find.
# Your friend can't stop talking about their crush and wewe can't stop talking about NCIS.
# wewe day/night dream NCIS
# wewe can recognise the signature tune on the first bar
# Your mobile 'music' has Gibbs' voice, or
# Your mobile sms 'music' is Tony saying 'on it boss'
# wewe organize your social life/holidays around the episode programming
# NCIS addiction is your religion
# When where ever wewe go wewe swear wewe saw one of the team
# You're convinced they're one of the family
# Any medical problem requires a sekunde opinion from Ducky
# If wewe have a car accident au industrial accident wewe require Abby to do the loss adjustment/forensics before you're fully satisfied
# All your family pets are named after the cast members
# wewe learn the NCIS theme on the kinanda and/or other instruments and play it all the time
# wewe think your other half looks handsome in a Hawaiian shirt
# wewe think Hawaiian shirts are chic male fashion
# wewe can dance to theme song of NCIS and sit down the sekunde it ends
# wewe always know the exact amount of time until the inayofuata episode
# wewe can't sleep thinking about who will die on the season finale
# wewe spend class time/work time/time before wewe go to sleep/time wewe take to shampoo your hair dreaming up scenarios for the inayofuata episode/your shabiki fiction. (i know i do)
# wewe jiunge all the internet foramu extant on the series
# wewe spend your spare time reviewing/adding/editing the contents on this Wiki
# wewe spend the rest of the time thinking about how to improve this Wiki
# When wewe jiunge the NCIS Wiki
# When wewe sign up on this addiction page - there's no way out
# wewe become a mainline addict when all the walls of your abode are covered floor to ceiling with photos, etc., of NCIS
# wewe drink Starbuck coffee, even if wewe don't like it (and wewe drink it black and sugarless)
# wewe think of ways to songesha this site up in the Wiki ranking
# wewe imitate Gibbs' saying of 'Today -insert name here- with your Marafiki and family when they're taking a long time in doing stuff(me and my dad do it all the time)
# wewe name your computer McGee (i did it xD)
# Your NCIS season cd sometimes gets all hinky because wewe watch the season over and over again (guilty!)
# wewe make a NCIS poster and put it in your bedroom ukuta au consider looking at stores for a NCIS poster (I currently don't have one... but I will. :D)
# wewe spend hours on the internet just to find a tune with the song Tony sang in the episode 'Driven' (the one that starts with 'in my perspective...' and so on... the part when Tony went undercover near the restaurant that The Frog's people ate)
# wewe drink stuff that makes wewe hyper (guilty... xD)
# wewe cut your hair so wewe can look like Abby/any character wewe like to imitate
# Your family sometimes calls wewe 'Ziva'
# wewe act like your fave character (guilty!)
# wewe ask your classmates/friends/coworkers if they know NCIS
# Your computer is loaded with mostly NCIS pics
# wewe use terms from the onyesha (for example, me and my family call a flash drive 'doodahs')
# wewe wish wewe had the NCIS cap/McGee's typewriter/Abby's farting hippo/Ziva's skills/Gibb's boat/DiNozzo's highly expensive shoes (yeah... sometimes. :D)
# wewe do everything humanly and non-humanly possible to push this Wiki up in the Wiki ratings wewe trust your gut, even when everything else goes against it.
# wewe trust your gut, zaidi than facts au figures.
# wewe use 'hinky' to describe many things, even when people ask wewe to repeat what wewe say cause it sounds like something else.
# wewe cry when wewe don't hear Mark Harmon say " STAY TUNED FOR SCENES FROM OUR inayofuata EPISODE"
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Source: TheCountess
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