THE mwaka IN ONE DIRECTION, kwa ANNA TODD 

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​If you\'re a fan of One Direction, 2015 felt like one hit after another. Between Zayn leaving and the band announcing their hiatus, this was the year that Directioners would love to pretend didn\'t exist. From breakups to babies to rainbow bears, each month brought a new storm of Internet drama. Instead of focusing on the amazing things like the band\'s new Action/1D campaign, there were nasty Twitter trends and a never-ending stream of rumors. The fandom was stressed to the max, waiting by their phones to take the next blow. I saw jokes like, "Did Anna Todd write 2015?" on Twitter — it was so bad it had to be fictional.

The year began with One Direction\'s fourth tour, "On the Road Again," which started in February in Sydney. All five boys were ready to travel and seemed excited to promote

. With each album, their vocals improved and they sounded more mature, and

was no exception. They were pumped. We were pumped. A tour means more photos of the boys, more opportunities for fans to meet their idols, and more tweets and Instagrams from the boys. But while we all know they enjoy crisscrossing the globe doing what they love, a tour for them means less sleep, few breaks, constant travel, and being away from their loved ones. 

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On March 19, Zayn took a break from the tour due to "stress." Up to this point, he had only missed one performance and we were ready to burn anyone who made assumptions that he was leaving. Now we were getting nervous. We knew something was off and everyone took to Twitter to voice their frustrations and concerns, but everyone remained hopeful that he\'d return. Six days later, Zayn left the band. "I\'d like to apologize to the fans if I\'ve let anyone down, but I have to do what feels right in my heart," his statement read. "I am leaving because I want to be a normal 22-year-old who is able to relax and have some private time out of the spotlight." None of us know what he was going through, but the fandom lost their shit. Some felt like they were let down because they had spent so much on concert tickets to see all five boys, while others felt like he betrayed them by leaving. Deep down, the biggest problem we had was the way it was handled. Many fans simply wanted a personal good-bye from someone whom they had invested years of their life into supporting.  

More and more drama came from this as a certain "friend" — *rolls eyes* — acted like a brat on Twitter and caused a Zouis spat. Most of us were heartbroken because they were best friends and brothers, and now they were fighting in front of all of us. The fans knew something bigger was behind it all, but we were also starting to realize that we would never truly know everything that happens behind closed doors. 

After Zayn left, most of the fandom started focusing on the remaining four guys as actual people. They no longer seemed like machines built solely for our entertainment. They were just twentysomething musicians who were overworked and needed a break. Not many artists could pull off four tours, four (now five) albums, charity events, endorsement deals, and more, all in the span of five years without a proper break, but they did it, and they were still going.

As spring went on, we were all feeling extra close, with Louis slaying the aforementioned "friend," the trends coming constantly, and the boys staying active online. The biggest problem — besides mourning the loss of Zayn, of course — was trying to get them to add "Teenage Dirtbag" back to the set list. Then summer came and bam! Louis was in the headlines. He\'s having a baby, they said. The fandom lost their shit again. Conspiracy theories trended and craziness happened. The fandom was in an uproar and continuing to question everything happening behind the scenes. The thing about being a fan is that sometimes you forget that you don\'t actually know them, and when you aren\'t given any answers or explanations, you\'re left to make up your own. 

This isn\'t the part where I comment on someone else\'s personal life and speculate whether an actual person (who we don\'t actually know anything about) is having a child with another person (who we happen to support and care about). This is the part where I tell you that Louis\'s Believe in Magic ball, held in August, raised 5,000,000 euros for sick children in need. Louis hosted the Cinderella-themed ball in London, and not only did we get to experience it through Twitter, we got a ton of gush-worthy moments. We got to see Lilo in suits, laughing together. We got tiger Liam with an adorable painted face. We got Liam playing a guitar. We got to see Louis posing with his mum while wearing a suit. We got high-quality pictures of Louis with his hair swept back. We got to see videos of Louis making the little girls and boys laugh by pulling faces behind his mum while she gave her speech. Most importantly, though, we got to see Louis being the amazing human that he is. 

Niall stayed pretty quiet throughout the year. He was as encouraging as ever, and he remained 1D\'s no. 1 fan. Harry\'s hair continued to be luscious and grew longer, and he continued to be the kind and incredible person he is. Liam had a few rough spots and wasn\'t treated very well at times. He did his usual and apologized for things that were misunderstood. This is the man who has always held the fandom together and people were forgetting that. It all seemed to come full circle when the band canceled a show because Liam was ill. Of course, there were tons of rumors around that too, but it seemed to remind everyone that he\'s a human being who can only do (and take) so much. 

This year was rough, but a ton of amazing things also happen happened. We were scared when they announced a break, but now that they just dropped their best album, we should all know they will be back. They\'ve earned some relaxation time, and who knows? With the way they kept releasing songs and videos this year, they could be back sooner than we think. 2015 is nearly over, so let\'s cross our fingers that the year ends quietly and they get to enjoy the rest they deserve. 

The nominees for NME\'s \'Worst Band\' Award are some of our faves so that\'s awkward. For them.

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