It took only a few sekunde for me to process her words before I realized she'd let go of my foot. In less than two sekunde I hit the freezing water. I couldn't see..I couldn't breathe. You'd think a penguin, auk would know how to swim. I hadn't really aliyopewa it much thought up 'till now. My moyo nearly stopped when I realized I couldn't swim..and the surface of the water above me was getting further and further away. I paddled my flippers wildly trying to get to the surface. No use. I didn't make much distance and I was running out of what little breath I'd had in the first place. My lungs screamed for air. In all of that I suddenly felt strangely calm. I relaxed. Lack of air tugged at my throat but I chose to ignore it. I felt lightheaded, then everything went black. I thought that I had died, but no..I could feel..I heard the sound of something calling. A female voice. She was crying and desperate. I heard her wails growing closer. Eventually I made it out and realized she was calling for me. The darkness faded replaced kwa a thick mist like pea, njegere soup. There was the siluette of a penguin. Somehow I recognised her. My moyo skipped a beat. She called, 'Alexander! Where are you?!" Her eyes were tired and her face was messy from dried tears. I cried out to her, "Mom! I'm over here! Mom!!" But she didn't hear me. She turned and ran the other way, still calling my name. In that mgawanyiko, baidisha sekunde guilt hit me in the chest like an anvil. I'd left her. I'd broken her heart. And now I was going to die. I could never return to her and reasure her that everything was going to be ok. I heard her still calling, but her voice had changed, and she wasn't calling my name. It sounded like, "Hey! Wake up man!" It grew clearer. I opened my eyes and coughed up at least eight gallons of the Atlantic. I looked up to find the loon gazing at me. I cleared my throat awkwardly and asked, "What in the name of Jackson's Stonwall was that for??" The loon just shrugged and replied, "You needed a bath". With that annoying remark she walked away. A caressed my ingured flipper and tried to slow my racing heart. Why was it everyone and everything seemed to treat me like trash? I looked up at where a I heard the loon bustling around and those thoughts faded. The loon had a flowered apron around her waist. She was stirring a pot of warm, steaming kitoweo, mchuzi of some kind and was humming softly. My thoughts were drawn to a certain someone I used to know and in spite of all my pride I felt tears sting my eyes suddenly. I realized how much I really missed home. I dropped from the bunk to the floor and hobbled out to the ship's bow. The sun was setting against the almost infinate horizon. It reflected oranges and pinks across the water. I realized then just how homesick I really was. I looked over my shoulder from where we'd come. but I can't go back.. I thought. Hans was back there waiting for me, and not to mention the entire Danish authortiy. No, Denmark was not an option. It was the past now. I sat down at the tip of the ship's bow and wondered how I'd ever gotten myself into such a mess. Why was it now that I had to discover what it was to know that someone truly loved you, when I couldn't go back and tell them..that wewe were sorry..for not having realized that in the first place. It was too late now. I could never tell my mother I was sorry, and I'd probably never get a chance to. In that momment I was a new man. A changed man. Yet I still didn't know who I really was. What was my purpose?