Monster

The secret side of me, I never let wewe see
I keep it caged but I can't control it

Skipper trained his men. But his mind was elsewhere. Back to the Church. How could he behave like that, in front of his teammates? They needed a leader, and a leader should be strong and caring.
A leader. But this leader was not worthy. He had a past. If he had known how quickly it would catch up, he would not have taken on the task of training these three boys.

So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

The thing he was holding back from them, the ugly sins that kept him from living paranoia-free would take away his team’s innocence. Manfreddi and Johnson knew his secret… now their six feet under in a teaspoon. Maybe somebody could help him.

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

Skipper told Kowalski. Kowalski took notes the whole time. Part of a song came back to him, and Skipper felt it fit the mood of how he was feeling.

“I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster”

Kowalski looked at him.
“Well, from my calculations, wewe need to face your fears. Like the Needle.”
“And the Dentist.” Skipper smirked.
“Already over it.” Kowalski smiled.
Skipper sighed. “Alright. But I don’t know if I can.”

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

Skipper jumped over into the Lemur’s habitat.
“Hello, silly Penguin!” alisema Julien. Julien was eating a mango, watching Mort carefully. He did not make a fuss as Skipper went right on by, to the Zoo wall. Straight across, Skipper Saw, was the church they were at yesterday.

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it

He needed to go there. He picked up his right foot, and set it down near the edge. Closer. So closer. All he had to do, was jump off the ukuta and run across the street. It was easy. Nothing to it.

'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

But he couldn’t. It was too much. Just too much. He feared this was going to be harder than the Needle incident. He needed his team.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

Skipper felt like a monster, alright. He was a horrible person. He was letting old grudges and nightmares getting the better of him. Worse yet, the nightmares were coming back. He had had one last night.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart

The church promised freedom for your soul, betterment for the heart. To skipper, it seemed the opposite. Inside, he felt like screaming. Screaming, screaming forever. And he knew, that if he started he just might not stop. He might end up somewhere, under surveillance and walls white as pearls. He had had a strait koti, jacket on once, and didn’t care to go back.

No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

His three teammates jumped up on the ukuta beside him.
“You can do it, Skippa.” Private smiled. Skipper smiled, just for him.
“So young, so naïve.” Skipper said. He looked at Rico. He was cheering for him. They all had faith in him. Kowalski was offering his hand. Skipper looked at the flipper, then up at Kowalski.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

“I am sorry, boys. This cannot go on much longer. I must face the Church.” Their eyes shone with pride. The teacher is now the student Skipper thought He didn’t want to let them down. But he had to.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster

He just couldn’t do it. It was too much. Skipper turned back to the zoo and jumped back in. He could feel their disappointment boring into his back.

I've gotta lose control, he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

Maybe tomorrow.

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

Maybe never. He needed to see what that man on the kuvuka, msalaba was about. He respected his Marafiki religions, au lack thereof, but there was something about him that piqued his curiosity.

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

He needed someone to help him. His team was good, but they couldn’t help him. He needed someone inexperienced with his past. A hero.

Marlene.