'The Melody Lingers On' Recap 

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I’m sure Rosewood has won some sort of award for most picturesque suburb. Or maybe the richest (seriously, have you seen the collection of cars that the Liars circle through?). But for all of the charming cafés and reading nooks there is something

twisted in that town—the criminal justice system. You thought Rosewood PD was bad? They’ve got nothing on the judicial system and

on the prisons. What is the local paper’s number? Because I have a hell of a pitch to the

But now let’s be real—how long does it take a murder case to go to trial? That’s a key timeline to understand with Ali’s trial, which started in “The Melody Lingers On.” Let’s assume that Ali was arrested in February and that she has been in jail for three months now—and that’s being generous. How did she manage to fast track her murder case through the system?

Okay, but first, let’s give the Liars the benefit of the doubt. Has anyone been keeping up with what season it’s supposed to be? Because last I checked they were wearing daisy dukes in February—when this season supposedly started—and now they’re wearing sweaters in what I think it supposed to be April? May? As per usual, I am lost in the Liars world of fashion.

But with nothing to guide us through to the conclusion that there has been some sort of month-long time lapse here, we’re guessing it’s springtime in Rosewood. There are people who rot for years in jail before getting their case in front of a judge. But somehow the magical Alison DiLaurentis can pull herself in front of a judge, with a weak defense, I might add, in record timing. Because, sure. Why not?

So the court proceedings have begun. Mona’s lawyer comes out swinging in the arguments, telling the court that Alison’s story about being kidnapped is completely fabricated, Mona knew, and that’s why Ali killed her. Honestly? Sounds like a pretty solid argument to me.

The really bad news here is that the lawyer calls out the Liars on the sly, telling the court that her friends have perpetuated the lie that she was kidnapped. First thing’s first—bravo. That is absolutely what happened. But also, are you an idiot? He all but side-eyed Aria and Emily, but yet they weren’t up on the stand. Any lawyer with half of a brain would figure out how to get them on the witness stand. But there they were, sitting in their fashionable court attire watching their former best friend be put on trial for Mona’s murder.

Somehow everyone else involved with this case realizes that Mona’s lawyer made this colossal mistake. Spencer’s mom, for example, bars her from attending Alison’s trial. And why? Because she knew that the girls were going to be exposed as Alison’s gatekeepers, so she tells Spencer not to go. After the big revelation, Ali’s dad confronts Aria and Emily, accusing them of telling the cops that his daughter had fabricated her own kidnapping. You know, which is true. But instead of asking them if the lawyer’s allegations are true, he immediately accepts them as fact. It’s never a, “Oh, what do you think about the trial so far?” or, “Hey, could you tell me some more about my daughter perhaps faking her own long-term kidnapping and leaving me with emotional scars that I will likely never rid myself of?” Nope. Mr. DiLaurentis jumped straight to the conclusion that Aria and Emily had something directly to do with telling the cops and thus giving the lawyer the ammo.

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