I can’t sleep a wink. I can only imagine how much she hates me right now. I miss her so much. Her kisses, her touch, her smell. Everything. I keep seeing her face everywhere I turn. Her voice keeps echoing in my mind. It’s about 4:00 a.m. I don’t care. I have to see her. I have to see if she’s ok. Even if she despises me at the moment. I got up and started to get my clothes on. I slowly began to walk to her house with so much on my mind. What if she doesn’t forgive me? What if she never wants to talk to me again? au worse…what if she tried to….kill herself again. Once I thought of that I began running as fast as my feet could carry me. My thighs were burning but I had no intention of stopping. I finally arrived at her house. I stood there and stared at it. I took a deep breath. I walked up the stairs and rung the bell. No answer. I rung it again. No answer. I tried one zaidi time. Still no answer. I was getting frustrated. I tried to open the door and to my surprise it was open. I slowly opened it and walked in. I knew her mom went on a business trip so i wasn’t worried about being caught. “Mya?!” I yelled. No answer. “Mya, baby please come out. I-I’m sorry” I alisema walking around the house with tears in my eyes. Still no answer. I slowly but swiftly walked up to her room. I slowly opened the door. “Bonita?” I said. I saw her kitanda was still made. It seems as if she never came home. Oh no. I looked at her dresser. I saw a picture of her and I that we took when we were bored one day. It was a picture of us kissing. I picked it up and glared at it. “Why did I have to mess this up!?” I asked alisema to myself angry with hot tears streaming down my face. I took the picture and went on her bed. I clutched the picture towards my heart. We could’ve been here together, laying down and cuddling. But no. My dumbas* had to go and hurt her again. I need my bonita with me. I’m a wreck without her. I just have to know that she’s safe….
I was laying in the kitanda thinking about everything. How he tricked me so easily. How he lied like it was nothing. How he actually had the nerve to ngumi, punch me. zaidi hot tears stream down my face. Why can’t I just be happy? I’m fine with not having friends, but why won’t they just leave me alone? I’ve never done anything to them. Ever since the 1st grade they’ve decided to make my life hell. It’s not fair. Why of all people…Jaden? inayofuata to Brianna he was kinda the worst one. It’s like when ever me and HIM were together he would look disgusted. I always noticed it but I just ignored it. A bunch of anger and frustration started to build up inside of me. I just keep wondering why they hated me so much? I mean seriously. I’ve never really talked during school, so I couldn’t have alisema anything that would anger them. Thinking about it made me zaidi angry because I didn’t understand. I just want my pathetic life to be over already! I looked at Jaden to see him sleeping. I started silently crying in the bed. I felt my salty tears trail from my eyes down to my nose. All of a sudden I felt someone come into the kitanda and wrap, upangaji pamoja their arms around me tight. “Don’t cry baby. I’m sorry. I’m here for you. Please don’t cry.” he whispered while kissing the back of my neck. I could feel his bare chest on my back. I immediately felt tingles at the bottom of my stomach. I turned around to look at them. It was Jaden. “Jaden, what are yo-” “Ssshhhh” he alisema putting his index finger on my lips while biting his bottom lip. He began to kiss my shoulder and lead up to me lips. I felt a tingling sensation after every kiss but….why is he doing this? “J-Jaden wewe h-have s-stop” I alisema stuttering. What’s my problem? “You know wewe don’t want me to baby” he alisema in a low husky voice. He continued kissing me. I couldn’t seem to stop him. I was growing weaker and weaker until…. I caught myself. I slowly put my hand on his chest and pushed him back. He looked at me with caring mixed with lust filled eyes. “Why have wewe been uigizaji like this? Your suppose to hate me.” I alisema staring at him with furrowed eye brows. He took my neck and brought my face closer to his. I filched. “Because I upendo you, Mya. I always have” Forget what I alisema about being confused before. Now I just feel utterly stupid. “But-” he cut me off. “I’ve loved wewe since the 6th grade. I only treated wewe like that because I was angry at myself for being a coward and being so cruel to you. So I took it out on you.” he paused and kissed the side of my lips. “Seeing wewe get beat up like that made me realize how much I really care for you.” he continued looking me deep in the eyes. I was still trying to process what he just said. So all of a sudden he loves me? The hell? Why do I feel like Bella from Twilight right now? “But why didn’t wewe just tell me how wewe felt?” i asked softly. making a confused face. “I thought that wewe wouldn’t like me because of all the things I did to you.” he whispered. I didn’t answer him. I just nodded my head and put it down while taking a breath. His hands were still on my neck so he took his thumbs and made me look up at him. “I hated seeing wewe with Jacob because I knew that— that should’ve been me.” He alisema bringing his hands to my face and rubbing my cheek with his thumb. “You did a really good job of pretending” I alisema pointing my eyes down at the bed. “I’m so sorry” he said. His eyes were getting shiny. I could see the tears about to fall from his eyes. I guess the least I could do is forgive him for helping me even though he did help them. “It’s ok” I alisema softly while wiping the tears from his right eye. “No, it’s not okay. Let me onyesha wewe how sorry I am” “What do wewe me-” he cut me off kwa kissing me. I tried to talk but he just pushed his tongue into my mouth. He was gentle yet forceful with it. He sucked and pulled on my bottom lip almost as if he was……hungry. He rubbed my back as he laid me down on the bed. He got on juu of me. His chain dangled across my chest as he started kissing my neck. I felt his tongue make circles on my neck. “mmm” he said. It felt so good but I can’t do this. I’m keeping my promise and waiting til I’m married. He went down and lifted up my shati and kissed, licked and suck on my stomach. That’s when I knew I had to stop him. “Jaden, s-stop please” he looked up at me and went back on juu of me came closer to my face. “I’m upendo wewe Mya. Please just let me make it up to you……Do wewe not like me?” he alisema leaning closer. I could see the eagerness and sincerity in his eyes. “It’s not that I promise, but I’m…not ready to do this yet. To much is going on and plus…look at me.” I alisema staring at my body and pointing to my face. “Your still beautiful to me.” he alisema as he ran his finger down my cheek. Now he’s pissing me off. Stop f*cking lying to me! I just shook my head while I took a frustrated breathe. “Yes, wewe are.” he alisema lifting my head up. Bro, lie to me one zaidi time. I smacked his hand away fro my face. “No. I’m. Not” I alisema giving him a glare. He got in my face and stared at my lips “Yes. you. are.” he whispered. He brushed his lips against mine. I got off of the kitanda because he was pissing me off. “Jaden! Do wewe not here what your Marafiki tell me?! I’m not beautiful and I’m getting used to it! That’s why Jacob did what he did! Remember what happened at the zoo?! I look like a gorilla! Get it?!” I alisema with tears uncontrollably going down my cheeks. He got up and and slowly walked to me. “Mya..” “Don’t” I alisema shaking my head. He didn’t listen. He came closer “I alisema don’t!” i yelled. Before I could say anything else he ran up and held me tight. “Let me go!” I yelled while fighting him. He held both my wrist together to keep me from hitting him. I tried to get out of his hold but he was to strong. “l-let me go..” I alisema barely audible while hysterically crying. I gave up. He let my wrists go and wrapped him arms around me. I cried into his chest. “It’s okay baby. I’m sorry I made wewe think that.” his voice sounded shaky..like he was crying too. I looked up at his and he had tears going down his face. “Why are wewe crying?” I asked him. “Because I don’t like seeing wewe like this.” he alisema softly. I put my head back down. “Look at me” he said. I did as told. “Jacob does not deserve you. He’ll realize what he Lost sooner au later.” he said. He let go of me and grabbed my hands and took me to the bed. He sat down and sat me on his lap. I tried to get up but he just pushed me back down. “Stay” he alisema intwining his fingers into mine. I’m still mind boggled. I don’t get why all of a sudden he cares. But I know one thing. I’m not gonna let him rethink he has me head over heals for him and then screw me over just like HIM. He slowly took my arm and looked at it. I tried to pull it away but he kept a really tight grip on it. “Don’t push me away” he alisema shaking his head a little and looking at me. I took a deep breath before talking. “I alisema I would talk to wewe in the morning” I mumbled. He looked at the clock. It was about 5 a.m. “It is morning” he alisema raising his eye brows and smiling. I rolled my eyes. “Now talk” he demanded. “No” I alisema a deep soft voice. I did another attempt to get up from his lap but as soon as I almost got away he grabbed my hand and when I was close enough, he grabbed my waist and made me straddle him. I tried to push him away but he just held me tighter. “Please?” he asked with upendo in his eyes. I sighed and told him everything. When I was done he looked shocked and upset and was shedding small tears here and there. “S-so y-you mean t-that I w-was part of why wewe d-did that?” he asked staring at me. I didn’t answer him because I didn’t want to make him feel even worse…..Hold the f*ck up! Why do I even care?! Ugh, wewe see what having a good moyo will do to you?! “Mya, answer me please.” he said. I don’t know why I felt sorry. “Yes” I alisema barely audible. He took a deep breath. inayofuata thing wewe know he pulled me into the biggest hug. “I can’t explain to wewe how sorry I am. I should’ve had them stop au at least warn you. I’m so sorry Mya.” he mumbled into my shoulder. I slowly wrapped my arms around his bare back. “It’s ok” i alisema softly while rubbing his back. His skin was so soft. “Thank wewe for forgiving me” he alisema while letting go. “It’s fine” I alisema smiling a little. He stared into my eyes. “What?” I asked softly. He didn’t answer. He just kissed my lips. He was so gentle, so soft. I didn’t kiss back though….ok maybe a little. But still! “Uh can we go back to kitanda now. This is to early for me” I alisema smiling to lighten up the mood. “Ok, baby” Ok here we go with the nicknames. I just ignored it and acted like I didn’t here it. I went into the kitanda and noticed he got into it too. “What are wewe doing?” I asked him with a sly smile. “Um, I get lonely on the floor.” he alisema with a small smirk. “Fine but stay on wewe side of the bed” I alisema chuckling. He didn’t answer. I got under the covers as he did the same. I got comfortable on the mto as I drifted off the sleep. All of a sudden I felt him arms wrap, upangaji pamoja around my waist and pull me back closer to him. “Jaden I sai-” “Oh hush wewe know wewe like it.” he alisema getting comfortable. I didn’t have enough energy to make him let go so I just let him do it. He’ll eventually let go, right? Right. I shook my head at him and laid back down on the bed. “Goodnight.” he alisema kissing my cheek. “Goodnight” I alisema lowly. I started thinking about our conversation. He…he alisema he loved me. What?! I get that he may feel bad but seriously! I don’t know if he meant it au not. Like I alisema my life never makes sense. I…….still don’t get it.I just ADDED a song with it wewe kno it
Gone, gone, gone, I'm never coming back wewe got everything wewe want, wewe happy now Saying everything is good but wewe never smile When your alone i know what wewe thinkin bout Where he at, where he at, where he at now Thought we were cool, thought we were Marafiki Tired of them phone, good nights and weekendsBut chose him and all this time wewe couldnt see me But dont look now (Chorus)Girl im gone, gone wewe didnt want me when wewe had me Girl im gone, gone I'm sorry he didnt make wewe happy But baby im gone (out here flowin on a breeze) YUPI know wewe wanna get at me But baby im gone (I'm everywhere wewe wanna be) YUP wewe didnt want me when wewe had meSo baby im gone Like i got rockets on my shoes Kinda like im allergic to your perfumeYou wont get chop, play tag with the other dudeSo where he at, where he at, where he at now Thought we were cool, thought we were Marafiki Tired of them phone,good nights and weekendsBut chose him and all this time wewe couldnt see me, see me But dont look now (Chorus) Girl im gone, gone wewe didnt want me when wewe had me Girl im gone, gone [ From: link
] I'm sorry he didnt make wewe happy But baby im gone (out here flowin on a breeze) YUPI know wewe wanna get at me But baby im gone (I'm everywhere wewe wanna be) YUP wewe didnt want me when wewe had meSo baby im gone I'm gone like a G5 YUP I'm gone like kengele bottoms and high fives YUPI'm out like a usain bolt, faster than a train goYou were slicker than a rain kanzu, koti Baby im gone So baby im gone (Chorus)Girl im gone, gone wewe didnt want me when wewe had me Girl im gone, gone I'm sorry he didnt make wewe happy But baby im gone (out here flowin on a breeze) YUPI know wewe wanna get at me But baby im gone (I'm everywhere wewe wanna be) YUP wewe didnt want me when wewe had meSo baby im gone (Chorus) Girl im gone, gone wewe didnt want me when wewe had me Girl im gone, gone I'm sorry he didnt make wewe happy But baby im gone (out here flowin on a breeze) YUPI know wewe wanna get at me But baby im gone (I'm everywhere wewe wanna be) YUP wewe didnt want me when wewe had meSo baby im gone
Well dang! Someone decided to write me a full paragraph on the story, so I decided that I would give wewe guys this chapter as quick as possible. :) Can wewe guys do me a favor and read a story called Never Alone? It’s an MB story and it’s really funny and interesting. It will be in my subscribtions so go read it! Jacob is a mess! poor papi. lol Til inayofuata time Comment, share, subscribe and Stay Mindless!!!!