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Do wewe like this?

its a poem i made about school (its just a joke thats not how i feel about school):

school is not cool
it's just cruel,
teachers want wewe to do maths
because its one of their wrath,
they'll make wewe in detention
and when wewe ask they just won't mention,
they'll give wewe tests
so wewe do your best,
(but really they just do it to torture us)

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lol i liked it do u write little poems like these a lot?
ryofangirl posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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ya i do and thank wewe
StarGirl1721 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
 StarGirl1721 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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bila mpangilio Majibu

Bananaaddict said:
I think it's funny! But here are some suggestions:
1. wewe should capitalize the first letter in each line, unless you're trying to mimic e. e. cummings.
2. I don't know if 'wrath' can be used in that context au as a plural noun.
3. wewe can't 'make' someone in detention. How about put?
4. The last line doesn't rhym, with doesn't really matter since it could be free verse, but the rest of the poem does rhym, so it's sort of messing with a pattern wewe already laid out for yourself.
Of course, wewe don't have to do any of that. They're just suggestions.
 select as best answer
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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thanks i will try to do it inayofuata time
StarGirl1721 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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hahah i alisema detentions cause i have heard of some teachers they just make u in detention and when wewe ask they won't answer and change the subject so thats why i ilitumwa that
StarGirl1721 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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No detention is fine, it's just that someone "make" wewe in detention makes no sense. It would be better if it was "put" wewe in detention.
Bananaaddict posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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