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bila mpangilio Swali

Can i get someone's opinion PLEASE

Okay I've written a story but can someone tell em if they like the story line.
A girl is aliyopewa a mkufu kwa a gypsy while travelling with her family, and they find a stray dog. While driving her family has a car crash. She and the dog survive. She is taken to the hospital and while there she dicovers she can read minds and travel to a differnt world in her sleep. She figures out the mkufu is helping her with this....jeez that was a long explanation. If wewe want a better idea, some of it is ilitumwa on here under the name Alyria. Okay I'm going to stop talking now =)
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IF wewe want to read it just type in Alyria in the tafuta box and it should come up
Free_Spirit posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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It's not something I'm particularly interested in, however, wewe have a good story on your hands. Work on your grammar, and wewe may have zaidi potential than wewe could imagine. Add some zaidi detail, it's very vaguely described in your intro, and the story's a bit hard to grasp the concept without rereading.
j1edwardcullen7 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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cool thanks for the critism, alot of people don't give critism afraid of hurting people. And we might run into a few grammar problems =)
Free_Spirit posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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oh and I'll also desrcibe it zaidi for people. Thanks
Free_Spirit posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
 Free_Spirit posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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bila mpangilio Majibu

lilred96 said:
yeah sure i would upendo too read zaidi but can wewe send me a link to the first chap?
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
sweet_n_silly said:
i think it sounds pretty good
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
Aisuanime said:
Sounds good, and unique.
Post the swali on the uandishi club and a lot of people would view and answer X)
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
j1edwardcullen7 said:
My answer's a maoni ^.
Mine's similar. It's about a girl who died twice and is now like the grim reaper, where she claims lives in her sleep, kwa becoming the person - and doesn't know how to control it. :D
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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cool can i have a link to your story?
lilred96 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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