The old and new you!!

I joined fanpop last mwezi so I'm not really sure if I can say the 'before' me and 'after' me on fanpop :p

After:

Fast mbele to now. I am zaidi confident in my ideals. I have zaidi friends. And I support them if I can. And I am not just a lurker as I could have been.

Before:

When I joined I didn't have many Marafiki and kwa joining fanpop (joining the internet tbh) opened my world up)

I was just planning on being a lurker and not doing anything.

I also used to fight with everyone who disagreed with me which is something I don't do anymore. I try not to get into it with people.

I wouldn’t say I’ve changed much, other than growing up (mentally especially) and maturing. Due to life (thx life) I’m a lot ‘stronger’ I guess, but mostly better at hiding how much of a mess I am! :]

Me in 2011:
Hi guys I'm 8theGreat, I like to draw and I can't stop talking about Death the Kid. I am totally convinced he's gonna become real and we're gonna get married. It's gonna happen.
jiunge my number cult.
Respect the Onions.




Me in 2018:
Hi guys I'm 8theGreat, I like to draw and I can't stop talking about Lolita fashion. I am totally convinced I'm gonna become a millionaire and I'm only gonna wear Lolita for the rest of forever. It's gonna happen.
jiunge my bata cult.
Burger King Foot Lettuce.

Before: Pretty much in short an identity-less sociopath that didn't know she was depressed when she was. No real friends. No real attachments other than to maybe my oldest sister.

Now: Uh... I mean Im much much much less a sociopath but I do have a good bit of a sense of identity I suppose. Pretty happy with my life and I got some good Marafiki and some healthy strong connections.



But when I say sociopath, I honest to god probably was with my maoni and how I behaved and shit. Some life experiences and wonderful people have done me great to change that A LOT.

Before: Well, when I first joined, I was much zaidi of a mess than I am now lol. Wasn't interacting with anyone au even participating in any other kind of Activity other than the kura za maoni and some very few Answers. Certainly didn't expect to meet anyone and was just planning to be a lurker, occassionally visiting this Website for new sasisho concerning my interests. That was the case for everywhere I went actually. Wasn''t really socializing at all back then.

Now: A lot happened and started making my presence zaidi known. Conversing with a few Users and getting to know them helped with that and inspired me. I become zaidi active kwa contributing in various Clubs, participating in zaidi activities, meeting zaidi fellow mashabiki and people who share similar traits, maoni and experiences in general. At the same time I was opening up zaidi irl as well so I suppose it got reflected in here too. Pretty much, it is hard to imagine myself without being here at this point. It's cozy, I guess? I have a much easier time expressing myself and being who I am in overall. Plus, there are people that I'm really glad I got the chance to meet and consider them Marafiki of mine. That's the gist of it !!!!

I think I might have become zaidi depressed and less confident in myself over time actually

before: Total jerk, annoying, not chatting with anyone much. that is how 11 mwaka old me was.

now: still annoying, chatting zaidi with ppl, and zaidi suicide thoughts. this is 14 mwaka old me

There's just not as much of a difference between how I was before Fanpop, how I was during, and how I am now. If I bothered to actually type out the words, I'd probably just sound whiny and depressing so I wont bother.

Before: I was a happy-go-lucky 9-year-old who was absolutely obsessed with My Little Pony. I made Littlest Pet duka video on YouTube. I had a bunch of Marafiki and I was generally just really happy with life. I had no care in the world and all that mattered to me was having fun. I was one of those kids who was always like "rainbows and unicorns and butterflies and sunshine and ponies!!! :D" I was super active on fanpop and I actually talked to a lot of people on here.

Now: I'm a cynical depressed 16-year old who hates everything and is obsessed with World of Warcraft. I have like 1.5 Marafiki and I will take any excuse to not talk to people. I play the kinanda and I sometimes watch anime. I'm hardly active on fanpop anymore and I really don't talk to anyone on here. I've pretty much Lost any self-esteem I once had and I have no motivation to do anything anymore.
But I have become a lot nicer, despite my "I hate everything and everyone" attitude.

I think I used to be pretty annoying. I tried so hard to become good Marafiki with everybody in my mashabiki list. I constantly messaged everybody, starting the weirdest conversations. And I also was cringey af.
Now I don`t mind talking, but I`ll never message first unless I know the person well enough. And I would hope that I`m not even half as cringey as I used to be. :D
And the best thing is that I really can distinguish those before/after periods on here, because after my 'before' for like 2 years I checked in here only once every few months to check messages and pick some polls.