I need you're help, fellow fanpeepers!

A French doctor says ‘Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.’ A German doctor says ‘That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks. The Russian doctor says ‘In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a moyo out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.’ An American doctor, not to be outdone, says ‘You guys are way behind. We recently took a man with no brains out of Illinois , put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.’

People used to say that we wouldn't have a black president until the siku pigs fly. 100 days into his presidency "Swine Flu".

LOL I'll add as many as possible. = )


#1

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one siku it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad siku on the siku they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and alisema to the first man, "Tell me about the siku wewe died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came nyumbani early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge kwa his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a moyo attack, and I died."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the inayofuata man in line about the siku he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," alisema the sekunde man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the siku wewe died?", he alisema to the third man in line.

"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator ..."


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#2

There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."


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#3
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help wewe understand my sermon, I want wewe all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a onyesha of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."


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Oops! fanpop shortened my answer, so I'll just give wewe the link to the site. Be careful though. Most of the jokes are really bad. There are few good ones.

Anyway, I hope that I helped, and good luck!
link

= )

a ghost goes into a docters offace then a nurse tells the docter a ghost is here 2 c u him the docter says tell him i cant c him