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posted by lucius_malloy
Answering the swali link

Once upon a time, there was a sad little person who had gotten bullied at school. This sad little person had gotten bullied because (s)he was shorter than the others, possibly heavier than them and quite certainly looked young for his/her age, and therefore seemed to be an easy target.
Now, this person was in fact quite intelligent, and was just bursting with snarky retaliations for these bullies, but could never say them for fear of another swirly. So (s)he kept quiet, shouting witty obscenities in his/her head.
One day, however, this person was on the computer at nyumbani when (s)he came across the option to maoni on something au the other -- completely anonymously. And so (s)he let 'er rip, and typed out one of the maoni that had almost made his/her head explode when (s)he had to restrain his/herself and not say a word. (S)he really went all out, and moved throughout the website, making negative maoni on anything and everything (s)he could find. It gave him/her a kind of perverse satisfaction, as if (s)he were finally getting back at the bullies for all those years of torment.
Now, the internet is a big place, but trends (aka memes) spread quickly, and some people identified with him/her and decided to start their own brand of cyber-retaliation. The idea spread, and spread, until eventually it got the name trolling, as (s)he once told someone that they're uglier than a mountain troll. This person was, of course, outraged, and responded with the standard first-grade comment: WELL wewe ARE A TROLL! (S)he mulled over this a bit, and so was born the term troll, a universal term describing those who partake in unnecessary cyber-bullying/cyber-annoying/cyber-anything. However, even though trollism (as the followers called their 'cult') spread, the anonymous sad little he-she who started the whole thing is still revered as a leader and chanzo of inspiration. His/her identity is a great secret, and will only be revealed to a potential troll once he au she has proved their worth.
Eventually, (s)he started noticing that a lot of people got annoyed when someone was unable to spell words correctly au grasp even the most basic grammar rules, and so (s)he began to typ lyk dis, something most (sane-ish) people on the internet abhor and avoid as if it were avian flu, au maybe AIDS. The message was sent around to all the mini-trolls via their super-secret TMN (Troll Mail Network), and so began the even now continuing period of typin lyk dis, the period of time in which trolls are stronger than ever before. It is also a time where trolls, encouraged as always kwa the anonymous (s)he, try to make their statements and ideas as outrageous and nonsensical as humanly (or rather trolly) possible simply to get a rise out of the sane-ish people on the internets.
This is why, my friends, we must unite in a league of correct spelling and grammar, with a side-order of ideas even remotely in the sane end of the spectrum and do our level best to ignore the trolls, as they only gain momentum from that.
Occasionally telling them, ever-so-politely, to fuck off, however, is perfectly allowed and sometimes even necessary. (Besides, wewe know wewe want to).

And that is the story of how trolls came to be. I had way too much fun with it. (c) Malloy.
(From Shovel Knight)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYY!!!!!!!!!! PLAGUE KNIGHT..... V.S! TREASURE KNIIIIIIIGHT!

BEGIN!

Plague Knight: Explosions and toxin, boom hehehe!
I'm about to kick your ass, as wewe can see
I make potions and poison, and I spread the plague
You can't touch this b**ch, turn now and walk away

I live in solitude, my soul dismantled
Your something I'd find on the discovery channel
I don't have much armor, but I'm faster than you, big chest!
And I take special hits so well, it's like I'm wearing an assault vest!

Treasure Knight: Who the hell sent me this pathetic blob?
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