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posted by vanillaicecream
So let's say you're talking to your Marafiki and gesturing wildly, and because you're not paying attention, wewe manage to honk some part of a passing stranger's anatomy that is traditionally covered kwa underpants; spinning around to apologize, wewe instead topple down a staircase and faceplant into a wedding cake, whereupon wewe realize that your pants are unbuttoned. Would this be
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to wewe au
b.) a Tuesday?

Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward wewe are.

Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if wewe are still covered in wedding cake. All wewe need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to wewe in the past month.


•You start to tell a joke ("So this bata walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")

•Impossibly, someone wewe have a crush on sits down to say hello to wewe at lunch. wewe have just crammed an entire cupcake in your mouth.

•Walking down the street, wewe gradually become aware that wewe have no idea how to swing your arms.

•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.

•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. wewe panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.

•You spend far too much time on a text au barua pepe exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. wewe promptly mis-send it to your mom.

•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.

•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults wewe typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.


•Attempting to be fun, wewe grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses au face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.

•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. wewe respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." sekunde pass. Oh my goodness, wewe think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible majibu collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")



Tally up your points, one per situation.

0: Impossibly slick. Wow, wewe are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.

1-2: Cool and composed. wewe are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.

3-7: Ordinary. You're no zaidi au less awkward than the inayofuata person, assuming the inayofuata person is not Michael Cera.

8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.

11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. wewe are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately.

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posted by angeeeeeeel
 the objection of the war on iraq
the objection of the war on iraq
that siku is the anniversary siku of the fall of Baghdad (the beginning of the U.S. occupation of Iraq) a lot of American soldiers and Iraqi soldiers died and some had a partial disability au holistic there is no victory because both sides Lost a lot of lives because of not listening to the opinion of people when President kichaka Declaration War on Iraq hundreds of Americans and people around the world objected and condemned the war on iraq, but he did not listen and make war like it his own war using prohibited weapons (cluster bombs), which many kids died when they were playing in streets and...
continue reading...
posted by australia-101
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish wewe were a door so I could slam wewe all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do wewe work for UPS? I thought I saw wewe checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 Bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy wewe a drink au do wewe just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted kitanda Thrasher: have wewe seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make wewe the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and wewe can...
continue reading...
This prank doesn't need anything but a friend who understands dirty jokes and yourself.

You: Okay, say the word 'addicted' every time I pause, alright?
Friend: Okay.
You: Money...
Friend: Addicted.
You: TV...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Candy...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Hitting people in the face with an iron...
Friend: ...addicted...

By this point wewe need to come up with several different others to get them to barely even notice what they're "addicted" to.

You: Soda?
Friend: Addicted...
You: What hit wewe in the face last night?
Friend: Addicted...

The look that will come over their face will be absolutely priceless.
Try it out!


-Ray
posted by milorox18
I run my fastest
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to songesha forward‚
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.

The harder I am thrown‚
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all‚
And that's all that counts.
In first place‚
Myself‚ I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.

Some people tell me wewe can't‚
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply‚ I won't

The power is here‚
Locked away in my mind.
My perserverance is my excellence‚
I won't be left behind.

Make the best of each moment‚
The future is soon the past.
The zaidi I tell myself this‚
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions‚
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the wasy way out.

So every night before I go to bed‚
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day‚
And I won't be left behind.

This is not mine‚ it was written kwa Sara Nachtman
added by kolyn_poston