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posted by vanillaicecream
So let's say you're talking to your Marafiki and gesturing wildly, and because you're not paying attention, wewe manage to honk some part of a passing stranger's anatomy that is traditionally covered kwa underpants; spinning around to apologize, wewe instead topple down a staircase and faceplant into a wedding cake, whereupon wewe realize that your pants are unbuttoned. Would this be
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to wewe au
b.) a Tuesday?

Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward wewe are.

Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if wewe are still covered in wedding cake. All wewe need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to wewe in the past month.


•You start to tell a joke ("So this bata walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")

•Impossibly, someone wewe have a crush on sits down to say hello to wewe at lunch. wewe have just crammed an entire cupcake in your mouth.

•Walking down the street, wewe gradually become aware that wewe have no idea how to swing your arms.

•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.

•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. wewe panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.

•You spend far too much time on a text au barua pepe exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. wewe promptly mis-send it to your mom.

•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.

•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults wewe typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.


•Attempting to be fun, wewe grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses au face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.

•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. wewe respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." sekunde pass. Oh my goodness, wewe think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible majibu collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")



Tally up your points, one per situation.

0: Impossibly slick. Wow, wewe are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.

1-2: Cool and composed. wewe are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.

3-7: Ordinary. You're no zaidi au less awkward than the inayofuata person, assuming the inayofuata person is not Michael Cera.

8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.

11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. wewe are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately.

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Source: a few zaidi to go, heehee!
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posted by nmdis
"Remember December"


I feel a seperation coming on
'Cause I know wewe want to be moving on
I wish it would snow tonight
You'd pull me in, avoid a fight
'Cause I feel a seperation coming on
Just prove, that there's nothing left to try
'Cause the truth, I'd rather we just both deny
wewe kissed me with those open eyes
It says so much, it's no suprise
To you, but I've got something left inside

Don't surrender, surrender, surrender
Please remember, remember, December
We were so in upendo back then,
Now you're listening
To what they say
Don't go that way
Remember, remember, December
Please remember,...
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posted by Draculaura10
HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?




This is hysterical. wewe have to try this. It is absolutely true. I guess there
are some things that the brain cannot handle.




HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?



You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this!!!

It is from an orthopedic surgeon................This will boggle your mind

and it will keep wewe trying over and over again to see if wewe can outsmart
your foot, but, wewe can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!


1). Without anyone watching wewe (they will think wewe are GOOFY....) and
while sitting at your dawati in front...
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posted by Gangster-Girl
- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a kitanda of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your mto X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water
- Calmly have a nervous...
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posted by spunkyonyx
Your right lung is smaller than your left lung to make room for your heart.

No piece of square dry paper can be folded zaidi than 7 times in half!

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!

Over 2500 left handed people a mwaka are killed from using products made for right handed people!

There are zaidi than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building!

If wewe counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!

A mamba always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!

The sun is 330,330 times...
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posted by Tayloraddict-1
On tons of klabu i see a swali saying "Can wewe plz be a shabiki of me?" Its was ok at first then i just saw it everywhere and i thought it was just getting annoying.All I see on bila mpangilio is Can wewe plz be my fan? Just filling up my sasisho zaidi and zaidi everyday.
Ive seen people with 200 au zaidi mashabiki asking Can u shabiki me plz i really need some zaidi fans. Like this is not a competition to see who will get the zaidi mashabiki its just life XD And wewe gotta earn your mashabiki because i had to earn my mashabiki and look at me now i have over 600 fans. I earned all of em.
Its not fair to us other fanpoppers who werked...
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posted by Jeffersonian
Of 8th grade through College 'student reports':


Ancient Egypt was inhabited kwa mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

Moses led the hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened mkate which is mkate made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments....
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added by Ranty-cat
Source: Doge meme
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