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posted by x-menobsessed26
Application For Permission To tarehe My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied kwa a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical ripoti from your physician.


Name:
tarehe of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
nyumbani Address:
City:
State:
Zip:



Do wewe have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers au sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do wewe own au have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do wewe have an earring, nose ring, au belly button ring? ____


Do wewe have a tattoo? ____

If wewe have answered YES to #3, #4 au #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words au less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words au less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words au less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words au less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple wewe attend: ____________________________

How often do wewe attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" au "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do wewe want to be if wewe grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture au mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank wewe for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. wewe will be contacted in uandishi if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
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Stand on juu of the high board and say wewe won't come down until your demands are met.
Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because wewe have seen at least 15 people drown today.
Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
Take a flutter board and pretend wewe can't swim.
Hit strangers with your flutter board.
Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.
Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....".
Sit on the juu of the water slide and don't move.
Swim near a stranger and say,...
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