bila mpangilio Club
jiunge
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
posted by x-menobsessed26
Application For Permission To tarehe My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied kwa a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical ripoti from your physician.


Name:
tarehe of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
nyumbani Address:
City:
State:
Zip:



Do wewe have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers au sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do wewe own au have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do wewe have an earring, nose ring, au belly button ring? ____


Do wewe have a tattoo? ____

If wewe have answered YES to #3, #4 au #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words au less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words au less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words au less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words au less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple wewe attend: ____________________________

How often do wewe attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" au "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do wewe want to be if wewe grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture au mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank wewe for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. wewe will be contacted in uandishi if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
added by CielXlizzy19
Source: Me
added by DulceVida
added by carsfan
Source: Internet
added by Sammisaurus
added by someone_save_me
added by RavenVillanueva
added by KateKicksAss
added by Kiniko90
added by Shelly_McShelly
posted by TheRealSexyKate
Q: Why did the forgetful chicken kuvuka, msalaba the road?

A: To get to the other side -- er, no -- to go shopping -- no, not that either -- damn it.

Q: Why did the redneck kuvuka, msalaba the road?

A: He wanted to sleep in the ditch on the other side.

Q: Why did the one-handed man kuvuka, msalaba the road?

A: To get to the sekunde hand shop.

Q: Why did the turkey kuvuka, msalaba the road?

A: Because he wasn't a chicken.

Q: Why did the fat turkey kuvuka, msalaba the road?

A: To get hit kwa my car.

Q: Why did the woman kuvuka, msalaba the road?

A: I don't know, but where'd she get shoes and what is she doing out of the kitchen?
previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...
continue reading...
previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy kubeba on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some chakula while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the jikoni and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the jikoni was when Tina got nyumbani she saw what the jikoni was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their nyumbani the Teddy kubeba was hiding in the jikoni cupboard as it chuckled...
continue reading...
" Once up on a time there was a girl wh hated justin bieber when she met him she didn't notice him. Justin Bieber was really surprised. Justin Bieber camed up to the girl and asked for her wuts ur name.
JB: hujambo baby, wuts ur name?
the girl was so irritated with him that she couldn't help her self but...
GIRL: f**k away from me
JB: what are u going to do, luv
GIRL: luv?!
the girl kicked him real hard in his private. whwn justin bieber stood up he headed straight for her. she pushed him away on to the road. luckly he walked away before the bus smacked him. she was just about to take out her knife...
continue reading...
posted by JoannaVonDoom
A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for wewe wewe twit she was only after your money and could have aliyopewa a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when...
continue reading...
posted by BlackSunshine
Lol I found this on the internet.

INTERESTING FACTS

1. If wewe yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, wewe would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it)



2. If wewe fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's zaidi like it)



3. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

(In my inayofuata life I want to be a pig)

(How'd they figure this out, and why?)



4. Banging your head against a ukuta uses 150 calories an hour.

(Still can't get over that pig thing)

(Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)



5. Humans...
continue reading...
posted by twilightgirl2
A fwd I got:

The teacher told Pepito to make sentences with his spelling words
1.cheese=Maria likes me but cheese fat
2.mushroom=wen all my Marafiki get in the car, there isn't mushroom
3.shoulder=my friend didn't know how to make a taco so I shoulder
4.texas=my friend always texas me fwds
5.herpes=me and my friend shared a piza, I got my piece and she got herpes
6.july=ju told me ju were going to the store and july to me! !! Julyer!!!!!
7.rectum=I had two cars, but my wife rectum
8.chicken=I was going to tje store with my wife but chicken go kwa herself
9.wheelchair=we only have one soda but ita ok wheelchair
10.chicken wing=my mom plays the lottery so chicken wing
11.liver=a bully was messing wit my sister and I told him to liver alone
12.bodywash=I wanted to go to the bar but no bodywash my kids
13.budweiser=that woman over there has a nice body, budweiser her face so ugly
posted by invadercalliope
Ok let me tell wewe 14 resons how :3
Ok some of these pertend i'm a boy


1)Put your arm around a person wewe don't know

2)Then twirl another bila mpangilio persons hair and ask them if there going to the game tonight
3)Offer them hair
4)tell them about your period last night
5)tell them about the bird and the bees
6)rub your self against the teacher
7)look in to a bila mpangilio persons eyes and make a very weird face
8)showing your friend your dick
9)come to skool imba the barney song
10)talk to your friend and take off your wig and onyesha them your really miley cyrus
11)pick your nose and ask someone if they want a bite
12)rape a bila mpangilio person
13)start crying in the hall for no reason
14)JUMP!!!!!!!
posted by Mallory101
1. If wewe are right handed, wewe will tend to chew your chakula on your right side. If wewe are left handed, wewe will tend to chew your chakula on your left side.

2. If wewe stop getting thirsty, wewe need to drink zaidi water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep wewe from crying.

4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

5. The Mercedes-Benz kauli mbiu is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best au nothing”.


6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal....
continue reading...
posted by jessicamc26
bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala bila mpangilio makala